What do you tell people who ask "how much bitcoin do you have?"

[Bitcoinpro]

just say you have a few satoshi

[cr1776]

You hit the nail on the head:
1. People asking, "hey, can you help me with X?"
2. Worrying about the whole kidnapping of members of the family.

You want people to like you for YOU, not for what you can do for them.

I always say, "not enough".

I have never understood why people think it is such a taboo to talk about ones net worth or salary.

I think many people are jealous, and if you told them you had a million dollars, they'd view you differently and expect you to pay for everything 'since you're rich'.

If you have a couple grands, that's not special. But once you have a lot of money, people around you start behaving differently.

[NedKLee]

Tell them the same thing you would say if they asked how much cash you have in the bank, "none of your fucking business!"

Could not agree more.

[the founder]

I say. I have 5000 bitcoins...
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2000 in instawallet
2000 in torwallet
1000 in btcst

(all respect to Paytunia. I trust their honesty but they still got hacked)

honestly that's my issue as well...  I most likely had about 2000 bitcoins stolen from me over the past 2 - 3 years...  mybitcoin (I never got my 49% back) and various other crap.

[axus]

I tell them I don't need to worry about money until after residency. And if bitcoin really takes off, maybe several dozen more years after that.

Not exactly, they might feel weird about having more money to spend but I wouldn't feel weird.  However, the follow on question is "how can I make that much money?" asking for advice, etc. and of course the only answer is a time machine.  And that sounds rude

[luffy]

...i am working for fun nowdays
they will understand 

[threeip]

I have never understood why people think it is such a taboo to talk about ones net worth or salary.

If the other guy makes twice as much as you its pretty humiliating, unless you have no shame or pride.

It helps people stay in class 

[Timo Y]

over 9000

[teknohog]

...i am working for fun nowdays

At the end of last year, I quit work and went back to university to study a little more math. I like having something simple and official to answer when people ask me what I do. It's weird how people expect to define yourself on the basis of what kind of slavery you choose in order to fulfill your physical needs, while the true self is probably engaged in a multitude of completely different interests.

It's funny, at the time I didn't expect such events with Bitcoin and the Euro. I was tired of my work, and I thought I'd enjoy a year or two of student life on my savings, while actually building on my professional qualifications. Now it might be a few more years...