Would you mind explaining mining my own server?
You will always need a miner to mine Bitcoins...the only question is, do you use somebody elses pool to connect to, or do you run your own P2Pool node which "acts" like a pool server but just connects you into a large decentralized network.
By your first post it looks like you have set up your own P2Pool server which is like "mining your own server".
If this isn't working you could try connecting to my P2Pool server(sorry, shameless plug!) by just putting this into the URL part of the miner :
http://mining.harvestcoin.com:9332 and then as username put in your Bitcoin address.
If you'd like to use another pool I would suggest following the advice by Pentel above to try Bitminter...very easy to use.