Since Mt. Gox is unlikely to reopen, I propose starting a Bitcoin redemption service based on the wildly popular Cash4Gold business model.
Call our 800 number, and we will mail you a Bitcoin address to send your Bitcoins to. When we receive your Bitcoins, they will be assayed by our team of crack welfare mom metallurgists in a small room filled with lung-destroying acid fumes, whereupon a melt date and a monetary amount will be assigned to them, typically one third of their actual value.
If you choose to receive your funds via ACH, that concludes the transaction, and you have no recourse.
If you choose to receive a check and are dissatisfied with the amount, you may call us prior to your melt date, and ask to return the check and receive your Bitcoins back. At our discretion, we may attempt to renegotiate the sale for two thirds of the actual value.
To advertise, we will dig up and reanimate the corpse of famed pitchman Ed McMahon, who will be featured in television spots to advertise the service.
I'd sign up for a service like that.