Cash4Bitcoins - the Mt. Gox Alternative

[Enochian]

Since Mt. Gox is unlikely to reopen, I propose starting a Bitcoin redemption service based on the wildly popular Cash4Gold business model.

Call our 800 number, and we will mail you a Bitcoin address to send your Bitcoins to.  When we receive your Bitcoins, they will be assayed by our team of crack welfare mom metallurgists in a small room filled with lung-destroying acid fumes, whereupon a melt date and a monetary amount will be assigned to them, typically one third of their actual value.

If you choose to receive your funds via ACH, that concludes the transaction, and you have no recourse.

If you choose to receive a check and are dissatisfied with the amount, you may call us prior to your melt date, and ask to return the check and receive your Bitcoins back.  At our discretion, we may attempt to renegotiate the sale for two thirds of the actual value.

To advertise, we will dig up and reanimate the corpse of famed pitchman Ed McMahon, who will be featured in television spots to advertise the service.

[1714863179]

1714863179

[1714863179]

1714863179

[Synaptic]

Since Mt. Gox is unlikely to reopen, I propose starting a Bitcoin redemption service based on the wildly popular Cash4Gold business model.

Call our 800 number, and we will mail you a Bitcoin address to send your Bitcoins to.  When we receive your Bitcoins, they will be assayed by our team of crack welfare mom metallurgists in a small room filled with lung-destroying acid fumes, whereupon a melt date and a monetary amount will be assigned to them, typically one third of their actual value.

If you choose to receive your funds via ACH, that concludes the transaction, and you have no recourse.

If you choose to receive a check and are dissatisfied with the amount, you may call us prior to your melt date, and ask to return the check and receive your Bitcoins back.  At our discretion, we may attempt to renegotiate the sale for two thirds of the actual value.

To advertise, we will dig up and reanimate the corpse of famed pitchman Ed McMahon, who will be featured in television spots to advertise the service.

Fuck you troll.

GTFO.

[silverman]

I know you're just having fun, but your "alternative company" is too close to the name one of our most venerated, and reliable vendors. Can you change it?

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On a totally different note, I think that everyone here will agree that Synaptic is an obnoxious little prick. Can we vote for him to go away?

[Synaptic]

I know you're just having fun, but your "website" is too close to the name one of our most venerated, and reliable vendors. Can you change it?

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On a totally different note, I think that everyone here will agree that Synaptic is an obnoxious little prick. Can we vote him to go away?

Fucking troll.

Here, have a quantum computer and

[Enochian]

I know you're just having fun, but your "alternative company" is too close to the name one of our most venerated, and reliable vendors. Can you change it?

Are you referring to Bitcoin4Cash.com?  I really doubt there's a possibility for confusion.  If one other person suggests my comedy interlude is ruining their business goodwill, I will edit my post.

Fair enough?

[niemivh]

Since Mt. Gox is unlikely to reopen, I propose starting a Bitcoin redemption service based on the wildly popular Cash4Gold business model.

Call our 800 number, and we will mail you a Bitcoin address to send your Bitcoins to.  When we receive your Bitcoins, they will be assayed by our team of crack welfare mom metallurgists in a small room filled with lung-destroying acid fumes, whereupon a melt date and a monetary amount will be assigned to them, typically one third of their actual value.

If you choose to receive your funds via ACH, that concludes the transaction, and you have no recourse.

If you choose to receive a check and are dissatisfied with the amount, you may call us prior to your melt date, and ask to return the check and receive your Bitcoins back.  At our discretion, we may attempt to renegotiate the sale for two thirds of the actual value.

To advertise, we will dig up and reanimate the corpse of famed pitchman Ed McMahon, who will be featured in television spots to advertise the service.

I'd sign up for a service like that.