I suppose the plan to sell that nonexistent iPhone on the Goods section didn't work? If it did, you would have $500 to "invest" in your plan above.
Seems to be a carefully planned new scheme, complete with a list of terms, an investor form for the many you expect will invest and of course you had to include the only address you will ever accept deposits into... all other bitcoin addresses are not legit so for those who want to join, this is the official ANN thread for this investment.
some un-expected car payments
Why not sell or pawn the car or borrow from the bank and invest it?
This is all beautifully designed with impressive words, but that red paint is difficult to ignore.