I doubt many people who know what they're talking about check the noobie section,
You are incorrect.
but I finally found where I can make a post at after 23 minutes of searching.
You really should pay more attention to the things you agree to before you agree to them.
I just started mining recently, and got GUIMiner, and joined Slush's pool. Now after checking the "Hardware" section, i see a post where someone's using a NVIDIA 8800 GT and is supposed to be getting 25Mhash/s or something like that. I have a NVIDIA 8500 GT and i'm only getting 800khash/s. Wtf is that. His is newer/better but why the hell am I getting such pathetic rates?
Because yours is older/worse.
Even at 25Mhash i read that you're spending more in power than you're making, so like even running on my parents paying power bill (I'm 15) it's not even worth me taking their money in power
Correct.
lol. Can someone help me out and figure out why the hell it's so pathetic?
It's because you are using pathetic equipment.