Bruno's Micro Pizzeria

[Phinnaeus Gage]

Inspired by this thread https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=315236.0 (and others in the past), I brainfarted https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=315236.msg3388446#msg3388446.

I'll have a prototype baked later today, for I'm about to head to the store to get the ingredients.

The ultimate goal is to make the first ever 4mm diameter pizza, then make more for sale via Bitcoin only to be the first commercially available smallest pizza in the world produced in Sandwich, Illinois (how ironic).

Mainly a novelty item, but no harm if eaten when first received.

The following are the comments I've made on the other thread:

Thank's, OP! Now the alts are getting into the act. This 5mm X 7mm gem was inspired by the record books and has the best chance to overtake the leading pizza protocol.

I don't even care how much you like pizza. No one could eat that all to yourself and still like pizza.

Whereas my Micro Pizzas wouldn't fill you up and you'll ask for more.

Since it's snowing outside and I'm inspired by this thread and Jacob's creation, I'm going to the store to purchase the ingredients and bake a prototype micro pizza measuring 4mm X 4mm. It'll be a supreme with sausage, beef, mushroom, black olive, peppers, and onions, not counting the sauce and mozzarella and cheddar cheeses.

Iff it comes out according to plan, I will be selling them at cost and shipping only, solely paid for via Bitcoin. I already have a domain/brand name in mind if these come out as I envision. They will be edible, but would probably have more value as a conversation piece.

I'm not sure how I'm going to cut the dough yet, but an exacto knife comes to mind if square. Round would need some type of punch where the dough won't stick. Full production would be easy, for specially designed trays holding X pies during the building then baking process would be on hand, then simply tipping over the tray having them all flop out.

After I complete the prototype later today, I'll pen a dedicated thread outlining the results and plan.

hahaha - this thread makes clear how many people live in the MidWest US. Seriously, guys - you need to live near Italians. I don't even like Italians - Italian neighbors are always loud and obnoxious, too many experiences for it to be an anomaly - but when it comes to meats and pasta, they're unmatched (though Greeks and Turks do some damn fine things with meats).

That horrible 80% fat frozen pepperoni crap would be banned by the governments if they could do anything productive. It doesn't belong on a pizza, or anything. It's not even fuckin' Italian - go get some capicola - the gabagool! That's a meat you put on a pizza. That's a meat for sandwiches, for everything -- pepperoni, though? For a disliked neighbor's pet.

Damn you, Kluge! If this brainfart of mine takes off, thanks to your post I'll have to have several lines to satisfy the international market, albeit (brand name)'s Supreme would still be the original.

One problem solved! I'll cook the pizzas on a tray inside these:

[1714183101]

1714183101

[1714183101]

1714183101

[1714183101]

1714183101

[Phinnaeus Gage]

res.

[Phinnaeus Gage]

The first one shipped out free of charge will be to Jacob, shown in the OP. There will be a Jacob Pizza consisting of his favor toppings, iff this endeavor comes to fruition.

[Phinnaeus Gage]

If only Bruno was a popular name in Italy. 

[Phinnaeus Gage]

The first 20 (brand name)'s pizzas (not counting Jacob's) can be had for exact shipping cost only. Simply post on this thread if you desire to be one of the first to receive a (brand name) pizza, one of which I'm reserving for the Bitcoin Museum of which they'll have to pay for shipping also if they want one.

Again, this is all based on how the final product comes out, so there's no obligation for being on the list.

[TitanBTC]

Phinnaeus, you're one of the most interesting people on this forum BY FAR.  Do you have a blog or something that I can send people to as inspiration?

Also, can I get a certificate of authenticity with this pizza?  I'm concerned about preserving the collectible status.  What would shipping be to the Los Angeles area?

[Phinnaeus Gage]

Phinnaeus, you're one of the most interesting people on this forum BY FAR.  Do you have a blog or something that I can send people to as inspiration?

Also, can I get a certificate of authenticity with this pizza?  I'm concerned about preserving the collectible status.  What would shipping be to the Los Angeles area?

Thanks, bud. No blog yet, but I'm about to register the domain name. Shipping to LA should be under $5, for I'm be shipping the smallest box possible that's able to have an address attached to it, and the weight would be very little.

Since you're the first to reply to this thread, I'll reserve #1 for you until you make up your mind.

As far a certificate of authenticity, I didn't give that much thought, but should be able to be arranged. Now you got me a thinkin' about a shadow box that would display the pizza, certificate, date of purchase via Bitcoin, etc., framed in barn wood.

The first batches will be done in 4mm (1/8") washers. Damn, that hole is small, wondering what possessed me to think up this shit.

I just got back from Walmart after purchasing the needed supplies, and when I turned into the driveway another approach hit me like a ton of bricks. Most everybody is familiar with stone baked pizzas, so why not obtain 1-2(?) inch stones and drill a 4mm (1/8") hole in the center and cook and sell those? Of course the stones would be properly washed/boiled prior to using just in case the pizza's eaten. The end result would be a pizza not cooked on stone, but in it.

Since the ingredients required per each pizza would be miniscule, I've opt to only use the best ingredients once full production commences. The first batch will be using the best ingredients available from Walmart, thus no generic brands used. Proof of such will be provided with pics of all the ingredients along with the receipt.

I'm a clean cook, so no worries about not washing hands regularly of which I always do.

If this takes off, the Micro Pizzas would make fine Christmas presents. Also, since this is basically a waste of good food, albeit it wouldn't be much for say 1,000 pizzas, I'll pledge 10% of sales to Sean's Outpost/Satoshi Forest iff this endeavor comes to fruition. But, that's gettin' the cart before the horse. Let's see how the first batch comes out and see what issues I encounter. Bottom line, I'm excited.

That said, feel free to post your interest if you desire to receive one of the first 20 for only the cost of shipping to your address.

[Phinnaeus Gage]

Fuck it! I put the cart before the horse and went ahead and registered the domains. Besides, how badly can one fuck up a 4mm pizza?

Bruno's Micro Pizzeria is now registered as a .com, .net, .org and .info. Didn't want to take any chances of somebody stealing my multimillion dollar idea.  

Soon, I'll be hiring a couple full-time chefs, preferable a man and a woman. Any suggestions?  

[Phinnaeus Gage]

This brainfart has already cost me:

Washers at Ace: ~$6.00
Walmart: $36.83
Domain Names: ~$25.00
Hostgator: ~$9.00 (will get in sec)

Now, I need a logo or a caricature of my likeness. I'm able to handle the website design and layout.

[OgNasty]

I'll bite.  Any estimate for the final price per pizza?  A limit to the # you can order?

[Taras]

Welp this is going to be awesome

[Phinnaeus Gage]

I'll bite.  Any estimate for the final price per pizza?  A limit to the # you can order?

No limit as to how many one can order. In fact, it'll be cheaper since I'll combine shipping cost of which will only be charged the exact amount, thus no profit on shipping.

I purchased cases, originally designed for beads, at Walmart at a cost of ~$.35 each, but should be able to source them at a lower rate.

When I start selling the pizzas, they shouldn't be over $2.00 USD each regardless of what's on them, with most of that going toward the labor that's involved. Ideally, I aiming for ~$1.00 USD each. The only other cost I'll have to consider is for the washers, stones, etc., that the pizzas will be encased in, and be a permanent part of the final product. Miniature boxes just came to mind as well.

Now the bad news. It looks like producing 4mm pizzas won't be practical on a large scale due to its small scale. Who would've guessed? But, Bruno's Micro Pizzeria would still be known as the originator of the world's smallest pizza, having at least one 4mm on displayed, sold only as a limited edition.

To keep with the original plan, of which is paramount, I'll see no problem with making micro pizzas at under an inch, looking at 7/8" (22mm) sold commercially on a regular basis, thus recognized as the world's smallest pizza seller since there's already Big Mama''s and Papa''s Pizzeria The largest would be the Milliways Pizza at 42mm, of which its signature ingredients has yet to be determined. I'm opened for suggestions in that regard, bearing in mind the significance of Milliways and the number 42.

I took pics to document the ingredients, receipt, and the washers in a cast iron skillet prior and after the dough was in place, but stopped when I was challenged with the pizza sauce. I realized right off that it wasn't going to go as plan. I will now need to purchase washers or some other cavity sized at 22mm before I tackle the endeavor again.

Bottom line: Making 4mm pizzas is hard!

[Phinnaeus Gage]

In the spire of stone baked pizzas, I believe it best to offer Bruno's Micro Pizzeria pizzas in drilled cavities of flat stones similar to depicted below.



The 42mm Milliways Pizza will utilize some unique flat stone not yet sourced. Also available will be larger flat stones having multiple 22mm pizzas at a reasonable price point.

Besides bitcoiners, the only drawback I can see is that I'll be catering another small group of enthusiasts--pizza lovers.

[BitcoinAccepted]

I think you're nuts 

But I wish you every success in your latest venture.

I'll take one off you if you can deliver to UK (I want it warm when it arrives though!)

[steelboy]

I think you're nuts 

But I wish you every success in your latest venture.

I'll take one off you if you can deliver to UK (I want it warm when it arrives though!)

I was reading down the thread and this was pretty much exactly what i was going to say.

[cryptasm]

Here you go squire:

[Mushroomized]

put me down for some micro pizza
edit: can you ship them in a capsule to preserve the collect-ability?

[Phinnaeus Gage]

put me down for some micro pizza
edit: can you ship them in a capsule to preserve the collect-ability?

They will be shipped in clear plastic(?) containers for constant viewing pleasure.

I think you're nuts  

But I wish you every success in your latest venture.

I'll take one off you if you can deliver to UK (I want it warm when it arrives though!)

I will deliver worldwide. It will ONLY be warm if delivered during the summer months, otherwise expect it to be of current ambient temperature.

I think you're nuts  

But I wish you every success in your latest venture.

I'll take one off you if you can deliver to UK (I want it warm when it arrives though!)

I was reading down the thread and this was pretty much exactly what i was going to say.

That goes for you, also.

Here you go squire:

Not too bad, but the name is Bruno's Micro Pizzeria. I'm going to start a thread offering up a $50 bounty for the best logo design of which I will link to from this thread. I hope you enter.

EDIT: I edited the bounty from $100 to $50 due to how I'm conducting the bounty: https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=316894.0

[Phinnaeus Gage]

So that I don't use valuable resources to harm the environment, the in-stone-pizzas will be solar bake.

Perhaps I'll even my very own Ninja Baker.



I like this design. I can easily put a dozen of them in my backyard.

[monbux]

Reserved.
How would you deliver these pizzas to us, I want a few dozen