Announcing the 🦊 Vulpine Order of Merit 🦊

[Jet Cash]

Congrats and welcome
Now who will be the first to get a bar added to his VOM award

[1715105170]

1715105170

[1715105170]

1715105170

[1715105170]

1715105170

[1715105170]

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[Foxpup]

I pick the Mystery Box!

A risky choice, since it contains an all-enveloping deadly mist! (Open with care.)



The latest development from the Monsanto company, this versatile product is guaranteed to kill insects, vermin, glyphosate-resistant weeds, figs, and certain strains of the common cold virus. It is slightly less guaranteed to be harmless to humans and other large mammals. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Do not use if you are pregnant, trying to get pregnant, or trying to get others pregnant. Deadly mist is derived from 100% natural and organic plant-based toxins.

Now who will be the first to get a bar added to his VOM award

Hilariousetc is getting very close!

[o_e_l_e_o]

A risky choice, since it contains an all-enveloping deadly mist! (Open with care.)

Sounds expensive! I'll take the bitcoin value of it immediately!

If not, send the box over instead. I have full a head-to-toe biohazard suit with respirator stored at work - just let me grab that and I'll be all set for world domination.

[jcriss]

a 55-gallon drum of WD-40

As an auto technician this would be grateful! lol never enough penetrating lube

[Foxpup]

An Error Has Occurred!
You can only send 50 merit to a given user per 30 days. You have already sent 46 merit to that user.

I'm just pleased as punch to announce that the Vulpine Order of Merit now has its seventh member: The Pharmacist

Since the very beginning of the Vulpine Order of Merit, The Pharmacist has always been a strong candidate, his only flaw being that he's just too damn consistent with his meritorious posts, managing to spread them out evenly month to month, never quite accumulating enough in any single month to become eligible for membership in the Order. Until now, that is. Having finally crossed the threshold, it is now time to celebrate the momentousness of his achievement.

Shemhamforash!

[Jet Cash]

Congrats - an obvious candidate for the deadly mist prize.

[The Sceptical Chymist]

I'm damn honored to accept this here no-prize and would in fact make a long babbling acceptance speech, but my cat knocked over my internet so I have to use my dumbass smartphone and my thumbz is too big.  Took me damn near 2 hours just to write what I just wrote.  

Then the screen window fell out where the internet lives and my cat is now missing.  Ought to be out there looking for her, but I felt compelled to express my gratitude up in this bitch first.  Oh wait,  cat just jumped back in, looks spooked out of her mind.  

Anyone know how to fix screen windows or should I call a plumber?

Edit:

Install Linux.

Are they expensive, and can cats escape easily out of them?

Forgot to add:  I'll take the mystery box, and I'm almost done doing my victory lap around the internet about the award.  Foxpup, you are the man-pup.

[o_e_l_e_o]

Anyone know how to fix screen windows

Install Linux.

[Vod]

Anyone know how to fix screen windows

Install Linux.

Q:  Anyone know how to stop my cancer from spreading?
A:  Die.

:/

[o_e_l_e_o]

You are technically correct, the best kind of correct.

[Foxpup]

I'll take the mystery box,

It contains one pound of almonds!



Almonds are a rich source of essential vitamins and minerals. Just don't forget to activate them before you eat them!

[Jet Cash]

 Oh wait,  cat just jumped back in, looks spooked out of her mind.  

You need to get her a new mouse - make it easier for her to use the Internet.

ps. Get rid of Windows - the new double crazing versions will drive you nuts - Oh wait! You've just got those.

[Foxpup]

An Error Has Occurred!
You can only send 50 merit to a given user per 30 days. You have already sent 49 merit to that user.

Vulpine Order of Merit member number eight is SaltySpitoon!

Another voice of reason amid a cacophony of idiocy. It can't be easy dealing with all the trolls, kooks, and other assorted fools who hang out in the Off-topic section, but such efforts do not go unrewarded.

Let the entertainment commence!

[LFC_Bitcoin]

Congratulations SaltySpitoon on becoming the 8th holder of this coveted award. We all bow down to your superiority & dream of one day standing alongside you as equals.

[SaltySpitoon]

An Error Has Occurred!
You can only send 50 merit to a given user per 30 days. You have already sent 49 merit to that user.

Vulpine Order of Merit member number eight is SaltySpitoon!

Another voice of reason amid a cacophony of idiocy. It can't be easy dealing with all the trolls, kooks, and other assorted fools who hang out in the Off-topic section, but such efforts do not go unrewarded.

Let the entertainment commence!

Wow, I don't know what to say. When I was told that I won this award, the first thing I thought was, wow, do I really deserve this? I still haven't come to a conclusion about that, mainly because I'm not entirely certain what this award is for. Something to do with selling the most cookies perhaps? In that case, I certainly do not deserve this award. If I was given thousands of boxes of cookies to sell, not only would I be deep in debt and in diabetic shock, but I'm sure I'd feel pretty lousy as well, and in no condition to offer my acceptance speech to this, what I've chosen to consider as a prestigious award. But I digress. As I continue to ramble through this piece of prose disguised as an acceptance speech, thinking about nothing but cookies, and how many I could eat before I reach serious consequences, I find myself googling how many cookies it takes to overdose. I scan the related topics, as no one is stupid enough to have asked or answered this same question before, and see link after link to FDA guidelines on added sugar intake, information on tree nut allergies, and advertisements and purchase opportunities for those very cookies to which I was searching the intake threshold before deadly consequences are met. You know, its not very gracious of advertising results of this nature to pop up in response to this search criteria. Its sort of like putting a Budweiser sign right outside of an AA meeting place.

It is very important for advertisers to balance the effectiveness of their advertisements with the moral obligations that they must uphold as a business. Throughout history, with only a handful of product types has it been acceptable for the industry to blatantly operate against the public's well being. Of course, there is the subject of personal responsibility to consider, but where do we draw the line? If a company is selling rat poison made specifically for human consumption, it is pretty well understood that the business would fail, as not too many people would be interested in poisoning themselves for a good time. However, the alcohol and tobacco industry have somehow found a way to avoid the bans of products that are considered harmful to humans. Perhaps its because of human history. Its hard to ban something that is so deeply ingrained in human history and culture, as such that it would become a standard of social interaction, as is the case with alcohol. I'm not for the second coming of prohibition of course, but its just a thought that I've considered every so often. Why ban trans fats, but not tobacco products? Neither have any redeeming qualities for health, and moderation with either helps to mitigate risks of sure to come ailments, but it does not root out the problem. If I had to cap this idea with a final thought, I suppose its, why ban trans fats? If we are trustworthy enough to moderate ourselves with products laced with addictive chemicals, why can't we make our own decision on how many cookies to eat? Remember when Maccas fries were actually decent? And now the restaurant's modus operandi is to get customers in through the door with the lure of free public restrooms, only to corner them with greasy 6% meat patties, bleached flour, and enough salt to make a salt merchant wealthy.

People should be held accountable for their own choices. Get emphysema from smoking? Well, hey that sucks but I'm sending you no condolences. Get it from working in a mine? My condolences. Eat cookies every day and get fat? I'd recommend you make sure a doctor says you are alright health wise. Cut back on the cookies, or exercise more if you need to. If you don't need to, or just are willing to deal with the health risks, again you get no condolences from me, but you do you.

Find that balance of, thats enough heath, and I'd like another cookie!

Congratulations on meeting the high standards of excellence I have set for this honour. You may now claim one of the following prizes*:

• a chocolate bitcoin wrapped in gold foil
• a game rabbit burrito served with habanero sauce
• a slice of Black Forest gâteau made with genuine Black Forest kirsch
• a 55-gallon drum of WD-40
• a pine cone in a bottle
• or THE MYSTERY BOX

*Prizes may or may not actually exist.

A mandatory celebratory dance contest will be held in the official announcement thread. Please post a rambling acceptance speech in that thread along with your choice of prize.

I'll take the pine cone in a bottle! That is unless the game rabbit burrito can be accepted pre prepared in the form of a burrito wrapper, a live rabbit, and some habanero sauce. In which case, I'll take the bunny!

[o_e_l_e_o]

As I continue to ramble through this piece of prose disguised as an acceptance speech, thinking about nothing but cookies, and how many I could eat before I reach serious consequences, I find myself googling how many cookies it takes to overdose. I scan the related topics, as no one is stupid enough to have asked or answered this same question before,

The median lethal dose or "LD₅₀" of sugar has been ascertained to be just shy of 30 grams per kilogram of body weight in rats.¹ Assuming your weight to be 80kg (adjust as necessary), then you need to eat 2.4kg of sugar in one sitting to have a 50% chance of dying. Given that your average chocolate chip cookie has 32g of sugar per 100g,² then we are looking at consuming 7.5kg of cookies in one sitting. Given that sugar concentrations in the blood maintain a peak level for only around 10 minutes after consumption,³ and the average cookies weighs around 12g,² then 7.5kg of cookies in 10 minutes works out at 1 cookie every 0.96 seconds for 10 minutes without a break or time to drink. Good luck.

If a company is selling rat poison made specifically for human consumption, it is pretty well understood that the business would fail, as not too many people would be interested in poisoning themselves for a good time.

Hate to be "that guy", but there are literally millions of people around the world who take rat poison made specifically for human consumption on a daily basis, in the form of a drug called warfarin.⁴

Also, welcome to the club! I'm still awaiting my delivery of the deadly mist though, so don't hold your breath (pun intended) for your bunny.


1 - http://www.sciencelab.com/msds.php?msdsId=9927285

2 - https://www.eatthismuch.com/food/nutrition/chocolate-chip-cookies,4084/

3 - https://www.researchgate.net/figure/A-Plasma-concentrations-of-glucose-before-and-after-a-30-min-duodenal-infusion-of-16_fig5_264573829

4 - https://clincalc.com/DrugStats/Drugs/Warfarin

[SaltySpitoon]

As I continue to ramble through this piece of prose disguised as an acceptance speech, thinking about nothing but cookies, and how many I could eat before I reach serious consequences, I find myself googling how many cookies it takes to overdose. I scan the related topics, as no one is stupid enough to have asked or answered this same question before,

The median lethal dose or "LD₅₀" of sugar has been ascertained to be just shy of 30 grams per kilogram of body weight in rats.¹ Assuming your weight to be 80kg (adjust as necessary), then you need to eat 2.4kg of sugar in one sitting to have a 50% chance of dying. Given that your average chocolate chip cookie has 32g of sugar per 100g,² then we are looking at consuming 7.5kg of cookies in one sitting. Given that sugar concentrations in the blood maintain a peak level for only around 10 minutes after consumption,³ and the average cookies weighs around 12g,² then 7.5kg of cookies in 10 minutes works out at 1 cookie every 0.96 seconds for 10 minutes without a break or time to drink. Good luck.

If a company is selling rat poison made specifically for human consumption, it is pretty well understood that the business would fail, as not too many people would be interested in poisoning themselves for a good time.

Hate to be "that guy", but there are literally millions of people around the world who take rat poison made specifically for human consumption on a daily basis, in the form of a drug called warfarin.⁴

Also, welcome to the club! I'm still awaiting my delivery of the deadly mist though, so don't hold your breath (pun intended) for your bunny.


1 - http://www.sciencelab.com/msds.php?msdsId=9927285

2 - https://www.eatthismuch.com/food/nutrition/chocolate-chip-cookies,4084/

3 - https://www.researchgate.net/figure/A-Plasma-concentrations-of-glucose-before-and-after-a-30-min-duodenal-infusion-of-16_fig5_264573829

4 - https://clincalc.com/DrugStats/Drugs/Warfarin

Wow, now I feel like an ass. I was just kind of rambling as I was asked to, I didn't actually look anything up, nor did I care about what I was rambling about. I do appreciate the effort though, and will commit the information you went out of your way to provide to memory.

[Foxpup]

I'll take the pine cone in a bottle! That is unless the game rabbit burrito can be accepted pre prepared in the form of a burrito wrapper, a live rabbit, and some habanero sauce. In which case, I'll take the bunny!

Unfortunately, the rabbit is already dead, for reasons that are unrelated to the fact that I am covered in blood. Why is everyone looking at me like that? It totally died of natural causes. What? Predation is natural. Anyway, the pine cone is still alive, partly because it's not very tasty, and mostly because I can't for the life of me figure out how to get it out of the bottle (maybe you'll have better luck).

[sheynlee18]

Are there any exact qualities you will be looking for during your search, ? like anything technical? or special? something standout

Just be meaningful (i guess?) and create a useful topics and replies that has a worth of receiving any merits. Avoid spams and shitpost .. Just don't ask and beg for merits they will only give it to you if you are worth it and then you will receive Vulpine Order of Merit Award ! 

[Flying Hellfish]

Anyway, the pine cone is still alive, partly because it's not very tasty, and mostly because I can't for the life of me figure out how to get it out of the bottle (maybe you'll have better luck).

I feel like you're over thinking it a bit! Rock>glass!