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Author Topic: Twas the Night Before Goxxing  (Read 1483 times)
humanitee
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February 21, 2014, 02:12:27 AM
 #1

Twas the night before Goxxing, when all through Mark's house
Not a feature was working, not even Mark's mouse
The bitcoin were slung through trades with despair,
In hopes that St. Solvency soon would be there.

The miners were slowing and profits were dead,
While visions of sugar-drinks danced in his head.
The llama they call Proudhon, and I in my cap,
Had long since forgotten the exchange that was crap.

When out from Mt. Gox there arose such a spatter,
I clicked on the link to see what was the matter.
Away from that window I clicked in a flash,
More opened and cluttered the further it crashed.

The doom on the boards from the new-fallen low
Gave the FUDsters some ammo with which they could sow.
When, with much thundering pain should appear,
But a bouncing blue ball, and a chap in headgear.

With a riddled fat rider, so ugly and sick
I knew in two seconds this guy was a dick.
Less rapid than sloth his announcements they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and then bitcoin he blamed!

"Now, asshole! now, cancer! now answer and quicken!
Go, stop it! You're putrid! go, go ponder and fix it!
To the site you must lurch! you should stop with the stall!
Now bounce away! Bounce away! Bounce away ball!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the exchange the ball he did move,
With a mind full of ploys, and some syphilis too.

And then, with no thinking, he said quite aloof
His address was changing to a virtual roof.
As I saw what he said, and was browsing around,
The price just kept moving faster and further down.

They weren't impressed that's for sure, with this end to their loot,
The masses pressed onward, the response was quite moot.
A wallet of coins he had flung out the back,
He was leaving forever, he had already packed.

His drinks-they were sprinkled! his pimples how cherry!
His face in weird poses, his complexion quite scary!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the fat of his stomach hid his penis below.

The stump of a drive he held tight in his teeth,
And I heard all the bitcoins cry out for relief!
He had a broad face and a giant round belly,
That shook when he sneered, like a bowlful of jelly!

He was a chubby chump, with a magic card shelf,
And I laughed when I learned it, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon had me wondering if bitcoin was dead.

He spoke of goxbux, PHP - that would work!
And filled all the accounts, then turned with a jerk.
And laying a cheek aside of his ball,
And giving a nod, out the exchange he hauled!

He bounced down the street, and his katana glistened,
I told you stupid fuckers, you all should have listened.
But I heard him exclaim, as he bounced out of sight,
"Happy Goxxing to all", and "you've all been fucked right!"
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February 21, 2014, 02:22:04 AM
 #2

This is amazing
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February 21, 2014, 02:26:43 AM
 #3

Lol
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February 21, 2014, 02:32:43 AM
 #4

Bravo!! 
drrussellshane
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February 21, 2014, 02:59:56 AM
 #5

OP should post an address for tips!

It put a smile on my face.

Buy a TREZOR! Premier BTC hardware wallet. If you're reading this, you should probably buy one if you don't already have one. You'll thank me later.
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February 21, 2014, 03:04:13 AM
 #6

pullitzer right there i tell you
gj

                                 
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Bit_Happy
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February 21, 2014, 03:04:56 AM
 #7

Thank you for giving us some good Gox!

Pangia
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February 21, 2014, 03:09:01 AM
 #8

This was the greatest post I've ever read on BitcoinTalk.

Thank you.


 
 
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jubalix
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February 21, 2014, 03:14:16 AM
 #9

that was really good

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February 21, 2014, 03:20:38 AM
 #10

Got to admit I glanced at the wall of text and thought it would be an amateur poem, but that was very enjoyable. Thanks! Great ending.
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February 21, 2014, 04:36:05 AM
 #11

Thanks, it made me smile…

+/u/bitcoingoxtip frappuccino verifyallyouwant
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February 21, 2014, 05:07:12 AM
 #12

I never thought the truth could be so entertaining!
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February 21, 2014, 05:17:03 AM
 #13

Classic! Bravo, OP.

Also:

I once knew that wanker Karpeles,
Who swept Gox accounts twice daily.
You ask him for one,
But he'd give two for fun,
Now he's short, and his memory's hazy.
Cloudpost
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February 21, 2014, 10:54:19 AM
 #14

Super-cool!

humanitee
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February 21, 2014, 04:46:15 PM
 #15

Thanks everyone!  
Let the record show that I'm still holding!

1HY8jLviM6BXy9zjtJDeE1icqM5aLzTRqD
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February 21, 2014, 04:54:44 PM
 #16

the last one, nice man Cheesy

Quote
He bounced down the street, and his katana glistened,
I told you stupid fuckers, you all should have listened.
But I heard him exclaim, as he bounced out of sight,
"Happy Goxxing to all", and "you've all been fucked right!"

great lyrics, congratz man Smiley

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