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Author Topic: Lost $350k / 54 BTC gambling, need help :(  (Read 16108 times)
CryForMeSky (OP)
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October 18, 2018, 09:55:41 PM
Merited by DarkStar_ (2)
 #1

Yes, I am Mannton456, I’m going to post it on the crypto-Games chat to prove it’s me. This is my story of loss.

I’ve always had a inclination for making reckless decisions. While I don’t gamble on a regular basis and prided myself on making sensible decisions, like investing in the bankroll of a bitcoin casino (to benefit from +EV), one day I decided to gamble with 3 BTC.

I won some bitcoins, and called it a day. The next day, I was bored and decided to give it another go. Lost everything. Now I don’t like losing, so my only strategy was to deposit almost 10x the amount - 20 BTC, and try to win it back again. I did and managed to turn it to 30 BTC. My heart was shaking and the adrenaline I had was incredible. I reinvested it in the site, and went to bed happy.

Unfortunately, the next day I decided to just do one bet of the entire balance, at 97% odds. I lost. Shit. I was operating in automatic mode and deposited a further 50 BTC, and tried to bet again. Lost again. I felt like ending my life.

I did something even more stupid and deposited another 70 BTC, almost the last remaining bitcoins I’ve had. Thankfully I was able to win back 30 BTC before I stopped and withdrew; putting my net loss at -54 bitcoins.

This is worth $350k USD. I am at a loss. I don’t think I will ever gamble again, but this is such an expensive lesson for me. I could’ve bought a house or apartment for that money. I could’ve bought 7 Tesla’s!

It’s also the first time I’ve lost anything more than $20 gambling. I don’t gamble a lot, and when I do it’s always with small amounts. But it was easy to see bitcoins as “not money” and that you’re just playing a game... with real money, and real life consequences.

I am someone in my 20s who got into cryptocurrency early. Thankfully, I do still have about $1.5 million in crypto and other investments, but losing 350k and 20% of your net wealth in the span of an hour is just... devastating to me. How did I end up risking $350k for a $18k loss?!

I’m having thoughts of going “all in” and trying to win it back. I know it’s a bad idea, a real bad one, but I’m someone who likes going big or going home.

I don’t know what to do at this point. I know I will survive, at least I’m not in debt, but fuck, I’m upset. I’m really depressed, and thoughts of killing myself have floated my mind.
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October 18, 2018, 09:59:45 PM
Merited by suchmoon (4)
 #2

First off: Don't kill yourself. You haven't lost it all.

The problem is that you need to find the willpower to either completely stop or moderate your gambling back to where it is. One issue that will arise, however, is that it won't feel the same. The stakes won't be the same. You'll want to raise them. You need to prevent yourself from doing so.

Stick your million into some cold storage and lock that shit away if you don't think you can resist. You want to prevent any loss-chasing sessions from affecting the rest of your funds.
Check: https://www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk/
Here's something that might help: gamble when accompanied by responsible people. They'll keep you in check. Gambling alone means that only you will be in control and as we all know, emotions can go into turmoil.

If it means that you'll gamble less, then that's a good thing. Wink

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October 18, 2018, 10:08:04 PM
 #3

Just stop! Go somewhere on vacation or your favorite place, to clear up your mind - it looks like you triggered something. Be sure you won't have access to your bitcoins. If you still have the eager to win it all back seek immediate help. I know it hurts but you need to take that loss and move on.
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October 18, 2018, 10:26:36 PM
Merited by dbshck (2), actmyname (1)
 #4

The most important thing to do right now is not do anything stupid (i.e. suicide or loss chasing).  If you don't feel like you can't control yourself, I'm happy to help you timelock your money for the next year to prevent anything stupid.

In 10 years it'll seem like a distant "i really fucked up then" memory, so in the mean time focus on more important things in life. The truth is you just had those bitcoin sitting doing nothing anyway.

But being frank, you obviously have some latent self control issues. You really shouldn't gamble again, or if you do have extremely strict limits you establish for yourself that are not based on loss-chasing. I would strongly advise you don't gamble until you can forget about this loss and consider chasing it.

But seriously, look at al the positive things you got going for you. Your remaining savings are more than 99.9% of the world. Learn from your mistake, forgive yourself and most importantly don't do anything stupid.

--

P.S. I'd also recommend against casino investing. It's too easy to gamble from there, and it's best to distance yourself from casinos in general when you have a problem.

Check out gamblingsitefinder.com for a decent list/rankings of crypto casinos. Note: I have no affiliation or interest in it, and don't even agree with all the rankings ... but it's the only uncorrupted review site I'm aware of.
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October 18, 2018, 10:31:40 PM
 #5

I may be able to help. Add me on discord: Alec#4820.
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October 18, 2018, 10:39:07 PM
 #6

P.S. You just wrote that you still have a lot of money. Expect people to try scam you for it  Wink

Check out gamblingsitefinder.com for a decent list/rankings of crypto casinos. Note: I have no affiliation or interest in it, and don't even agree with all the rankings ... but it's the only uncorrupted review site I'm aware of.
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October 18, 2018, 10:44:33 PM
 #7

There is always a chance for you to earn back the money you have lost through other ways except gambling as long as you are still alive, so you should not be having any thoughts to commit suicide, there are even people who went bankrupt because of their gambling addiction or failed investment, I believe you have also read real life stories about these people who have managed to brace themselves up and start a new life again.

You should try to stay away from gambling sites, because there is always a slight chance that you will start gambling again once you log in to the site. Sometimes, people might be attracted to gamble again when they saw other gamblers winning huge amount of money on their gambling session, so the best option is to find other activities to keep yourself busy and you will not have anymore extra time to think of gambling anymore. Just remember this, starting from this moment, if you don't gamble again, you will not be losing any of your money to the casino anymore.

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CryForMeSky (OP)
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October 18, 2018, 11:02:31 PM
 #8

The most important thing to do right now is not do anything stupid (i.e. suicide or loss chasing).  If you don't feel like you can't control yourself, I'm happy to help you timelock your money for the next year to prevent anything stupid.

In 10 years it'll seem like a distant "i really fucked up then" memory, so in the mean time focus on more important things in life. The truth is you just had those bitcoin sitting doing nothing anyway.

But being frank, you obviously have some latent self control issues. You really shouldn't gamble again, or if you do have extremely strict limits you establish for yourself that are not based on loss-chasing. I would strongly advise you don't gamble until you can forget about this loss and consider chasing it.

But seriously, look at al the positive things you got going for you. Your remaining savings are more than 99.9% of the world. Learn from your mistake, forgive yourself and most importantly don't do anything stupid.

--

P.S. I'd also recommend against casino investing. It's too easy to gamble from there, and it's best to distance yourself from casinos in general when you have a problem.

Thanks RHavar. Yes, I’m not planning to invest in casino bankrolls again, it’s just too tempting for me to bet. I do think I have a little bit more self control now, I haven’t even been betting with faucet satoshis.

My self control issues partly come from me seeing low probability events as “wont happen”. I made 97% bets thinking that if I only do it a few time’s, I won’t lose. But of course, you can always lose and just end up risking ridiculous amounts of money for relatively tiny gains.

I also feel bad because the $1.5m is my investment money. I don’t want touch it or spend it on myself, except for investing. It’s currently 67% crypto and 33% stocks. So I lost pretty much all of my spending money, and I feel pretty down over it... a lot of people have a million dollars net wealth, it’s not that much. I don’t have a house or anything.
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October 18, 2018, 11:40:50 PM
 #9

I also feel bad because the $1.5m is my investment money. I don’t want touch it or spend it on myself, except for investing. It’s currently 67% crypto and 33% stocks. So I lost pretty much all of my spending money, and I feel pretty down over it... a lot of people have a million dollars net wealth, it’s not that much. I don’t have a house or anything.

Honestly it's good you feel bad. It'd be scarier to have lost so much and not feel bad.  Remember the feeling before you consider gambling again.


And you're objectively in an extremely good financial position. There's not much you can do with $1.5M that you can't do with $1.15M

Sure, lots of people have a bigger net-worth than you but you're doing way better than the vast majority. And worst case if you need a break from it all, take a year off in somewhere exotic with a cheap cost of living. Maybe like Thailand? For 25k you could have a pretty great year, and make a lot of memories that will last your life.

It's hard to see the situation clearly when you're in the inside, but honestly yours is fine  Grin

Check out gamblingsitefinder.com for a decent list/rankings of crypto casinos. Note: I have no affiliation or interest in it, and don't even agree with all the rankings ... but it's the only uncorrupted review site I'm aware of.
CryForMeSky (OP)
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October 18, 2018, 11:51:33 PM
 #10

I also feel bad because the $1.5m is my investment money. I don’t want touch it or spend it on myself, except for investing. It’s currently 67% crypto and 33% stocks. So I lost pretty much all of my spending money, and I feel pretty down over it... a lot of people have a million dollars net wealth, it’s not that much. I don’t have a house or anything.

Honestly it's good you feel bad. It'd be scarier to have lost so much and not feel bad.  Remember the feeling before you consider gambling again.


And you're objectively in an extremely good financial position. There's not much you can do with $1.5M that you can't do with $1.15M

Sure, lots of people have a bigger net-worth than you but you're doing way better than the vast majority. And worst case if you need a break from it all, take a year off in somewhere exotic with a cheap cost of living. Maybe like Thailand? For 25k you could have a pretty great year, and make a lot of memories that will last your life.

It's hard to see the situation clearly when you're in the inside, but honestly yours is fine  Grin

You’re right. With a little bit more growth in crypto, I’m able to be financially independent and live off the dividends. Not that I will, I’m going to keep on investing, but subjectively losing $350k hurts incredibly but objectively it hasn’t and won’t ruin my life - as long as I heed this as a critical lesson in self control and impulse control, as well as reducing risk taking behaviour in life.

Thank you.
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October 18, 2018, 11:53:22 PM
 #11

I despise gambling and I'm glad you at least have something left. Casinos are predatory and I truly hate them.  I realize a lot of members here shill for gambling sites so they can make a few fractions of a bitcoin but I really wish they would stop advertising here.

One million isn't really a lot but at least you still have more than the majority of people in the world.  In the end we all die anyways, money is just numbers on a computer screen.

I recently saw a vid on youtube about the biggest gambling losses and some of these whales would lose ten million in a single session, its insane.
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October 18, 2018, 11:57:40 PM
 #12

You still have a lot of bitcoin, I can feel the pain specially for small holder like me. Go outside your house and look for an activity where you can heal the pain. And try to seek professional help from psychiarist so it won't happen again so you'll get better mentor if its about decision making. You need to move on at this moment, relax yourself and you are still young so there's still a long way to go for you. I'm glad that you didn't lost all of your holdings.

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October 19, 2018, 12:05:15 AM
 #13

First off: Don't kill yourself. You haven't lost it all.

The problem is that you need to find the willpower to either completely stop or moderate your gambling back to where it is. One issue that will arise, however, is that it won't feel the same. The stakes won't be the same. You'll want to raise them. You need to prevent yourself from doing so.

Stick your million into some cold storage and lock that shit away if you don't think you can resist. You want to prevent any loss-chasing sessions from affecting the rest of your funds.
Check: https://www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk/
Here's something that might help: gamble when accompanied by responsible people. They'll keep you in check. Gambling alone means that only you will be in control and as we all know, emotions can go into turmoil.

If it means that you'll gamble less, then that's a good thing. Wink

Very true. You still have all the time in the world to reflect about your life. Don't kill yourself. Find even one motivation why you need to stop this habit. I think it's better to stop rather than moderate for your long-term goal. Because there's a chance that he will go back to his old self again once everything is going great again. But, to start such change in your life, moderation of this habit is already a good start. It's like a smoker trying to cut his cigarette consumption.
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October 19, 2018, 12:06:36 AM
 #14

Why are you thinking that you are down from $1.5m to $1.15m, Think positive that you have the whole $1.15m with you , which is way more good for you. Because always positive thinking will give you more satisfaction and it will boost your confidence and all wrong doing will not come in your mind.

Think about the gamblers who lost their whole live investment and now they are beggar, atleast you are holding your 75% of crypto investment. When you are in loss it is better to compare with high losers so that it will give more satisfaction to you.
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October 19, 2018, 12:12:58 AM
 #15

Why are you thinking that you are down from $1.5m to $1.15m, Think positive that you have the whole $1.15m with you , which is way more good for you. Because always positive thinking will give you more satisfaction and it will boost your confidence and all wrong doing will not come in your mind.

Think about the gamblers who lost their whole live investment and now they are beggar, atleast you are holding your 75% of crypto investment. When you are in loss it is better to compare with high losers so that it will give more satisfaction to you.

I guess the thing is $1.5m (I had $1.85m before) isn’t a whole lot of money in an expensive first world country. But I have heard of people in financial devastation and debt, thankfully I am not.
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October 19, 2018, 12:20:09 AM
 #16

$1m won't even buy a house in the big cities ( Los Angeles, New York, San Francisco)

I know there are a lot of third worlders on this forum that think $1m usd is a lot of money but it really isn't.
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October 19, 2018, 12:22:14 AM
 #17

I, and I think most of gamblers who read your story, feel sorry for your loss. I've witnessed your winnings and sadly your loss as well. It's very good to share your story, this will help you process your losses.

But dude, you're young and you still have a shitload of bitcoins left. You'll get over it. If I were you I'd rather be thankful for not losing it all. You've managed to gain back more than 25% of your losses before pulling it all out. It could have been a disaster.

And my advice to you is to look for help for this part:
Quote
I’m having thoughts of going “all in” and trying to win it back. I know it’s a bad idea, a real bad one, but I’m someone who likes going big or going home.


Gamble only what you can afford to lose. Going all in with money you can't afford to lose is very stupid. If you go big, make sure you have a home to go in case shit goes wrong.





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October 19, 2018, 12:31:02 AM
 #18

$1m won't even buy a house in the big cities ( Los Angeles, New York, San Francisco)

I know there are a lot of third worlders on this forum that think $1m usd is a lot of money but it really isn't.
Exactly, you can’t even buy a house here, and even if you do you have nothing left. It’s a life-changing amount of money still but if you have a good job, a dude making $120k and having $100k in savings, versus a dude making $120k and 2.5m in savings/investments still generally live the same-ish life.
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October 19, 2018, 12:39:40 AM
 #19

I, and I think most of gamblers who read your story, feel sorry for your loss. I've witnessed your winnings and sadly your loss as well. It's very good to share your story, this will help you process your losses.

But dude, you're young and you still have a shitload of bitcoins left. You'll get over it. If I were you I'd rather be thankful for not losing it all. You've managed to gain back more than 25% of your losses before pulling it all out. It could have been a disaster.

And my advice to you is to look for help for this part:
Quote
I’m having thoughts of going “all in” and trying to win it back. I know it’s a bad idea, a real bad one, but I’m someone who likes going big or going home.


Gamble only what you can afford to lose. Going all in with money you can't afford to lose is very stupid. If you go big, make sure you have a home to go in case shit goes wrong.






Thanks, it’s good to remind me that things could’ve gone worse - I could have lost even more (another 67 BTC) because I did deposit that, and made aggressive bets in order to try and reduce my losses.

I certainly won’t ever, ever be gambling again. It’s just an experience I’m not going to participate in, except for token amounts for the experience.
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October 19, 2018, 04:21:59 AM
 #20

Hi,

Feeling which you have right now is normal. And your seeking for help is good sign. I would like to suggest you to search for professional help. Yes, call that phone number on gamble aware or find someone who help people with gamble addiction.

Your current state is normal but you can be sure if you lose all your money on gambling it will feel even worse.

You are saying that you should buy a house instead of gambling that amount. Good, buy house now. You have funds and fulfill that.

And as a motivation keep talking with people here on this thread. Smiley
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