Since Quarantine started I was always down not because of Covid because of my family, my sister said something to me that was so bad it was stuck like gum on my mind(For that I jump on a condo pool without my family seeing it as they been informed they just know about it one of my sisters just laugh every time I say the word jump )
besides that, I was being judged on every action that I made half of it was true and a half was not. Every month was a suicidal though for me and my family don't know about it
Yesterday I was feeling down emotionally drained, I experienced a thing that I did not experience before. I was doing the dishes and all of a sudden I cried nonstop until I stop crying. Still Later.........
I can't do things properly as I can't think straight after the dishes I was struggling around like I was stretching ( I don't know how to call it properly it was like using my thumb to give my fingers a push like a stretch) my fingers one by one while doing that, I was cleaning and looking around on what to do on what is not in a proper place or not clean after that I fix it. I stop and see again what's not in a good place doing it again stopping to see what not clean until I am stuck on that cycle until everything was clean.
As I finished it I was crying out like I really don't know what to do I drank water like I run a marathon but it didn't help. I run around the house and it helps somehow I beginning to calm.
I don't know what was that? IS it ANXIETY OR DEPRESSION? I know I should ask a doctor or what but I don't have enough money I don't see someone in my family that would support me.
Can you guys give a word of advice? besides seeing a doctor,
what did you do if you experience the same thing?
I don't know what it is but you need to find help maybe not from your family but a friend could be a good one.
I remember having the samething I was down at that time and then out of nowhere my tears would just fall out but I don't know why and I am not sad or anything but my tears would just drop out.
My wife know about it and my brother they supported me they talk to me and care for me until I started to feel okay again,
They convince me to go out have fun or sometime my brother would ask me to go with him and play some video games since we are both addicted to video games.
Sometimes having some people who cares about you and that you could talk to them open up all your problem is the best way to cure it.