Risks to take in marriage

[misterrtwisterr]

Marriage must have a high tolerance for partners. Must love each other in times of trouble and joy. Accept your partner for who they are.

This is one of the keys. I have a feeling people are much less tolerant than before. Things got worse after the 70's when women started to work and got their financial independence. This is proved by divorce rate statistics, and you can see a sharp increase of divorces starting somewhere around late 60's.

Marriage takes a lot of patience, understanding and compromises. Even more when you get kids.

[uchegod-21]

All I know is that marriage is hard and we should not go into it if we know that we do not have the power or the strength to endure as much as we can. Everything about marriage is endurance so we need to make sure that we are fully ready to accept whatever we see before we think of going into marriage. Some persons enters marriage without you understanding.

This is wrong. Marriage is not a war, you do not need power or strength to be in a marriage, unless you are planning to kill.yoir spouse.
Again, marriage is not all about endurance. Don't go into marriage to endure rubbish. When your spouse puts up annoying character, call their attention to it and forgive them. When they do same again, forgive them for the second time and warn them that it will be the last. If they try it again, consider divorce. The most important thing to you should be peace of mind and not to endure rubbish in the name of marriage.

[BADecker]

Maybe marriage is about sex, kids and cheaper living.

I mean, if you get married for sex and that's all, great. You don't even have to live in the same apartment or house.

But if you want to live in the same house for money savings, great. Have your own separate rooms, and a special room for love making... unless you really want to share the same room.

If there is any chance at all that kids will come along, talk about it ahead of time. And write up an agreement as to who does what in the event you get some kids. Make it legally binding so that there are no questions later.

I mean, you don't have to share your ideals in marriage, right? Just your bodies... and the kids of course, right?

[Ojima-ojo]

My mother's father divorced when I was a toddler, in mother's arms.
And I was raised by step grandparents.
My memory is still sharp enough to remember that sad time.
Mother's father already has another partner as well as another child..
My life is tossing and turning without direction
Jealous of my friends and the happiness of a small child, invites the sadness back.
Father and mother, I just need your love, like my friend.
So far, I've never gotten it.
Now my father is gone forever, look at your son, father, now I am an adult and can find food for myself without your love.
Without you I can be independent, now my father has gone forever back to God's side.
But hatred for you makes me furious and I want to destroy everything around me.

And now, from the experience above, I always try to avoid divorce because it will affect the child's mentality.

I understand how you feel mate even though I may have not experienced a similarly bad situation to yours but trust me we all have gone through a hard time growing up, and some of us have some of the worst experiences.

But above all, divorce is not an option most especially when there are kids in the marriage.

I think our judicial systems and the marriage registrar should include a separate column and law too, divorce law for parents with kids and those without kids.

[Justtoons]

Growing up without parental care is one of the worst thing a child can experience. All my life as a little man up till now, my only prayers was God should keep my parents alive for me. I never wanted to imagine my self living without those two people. Sometimes I look at them out of pitty and say to my self these people have tried a lot in bringing me and my siblings up as men and women and I will do better for my own children. Being a parent is not easy, as you will have to think, calculate and provide every possible care for your children. I know one day I will also be a parent and I hope I become a good one and also be there for my children.

[Minecache]

All I know is that marriage is hard and we should not go into it if we know that we do not have the power or the strength to endure as much as we can. Everything about marriage is endurance so we need to make sure that we are fully ready to accept whatever we see before we think of going into marriage. Some persons enters marriage without you understanding.

This is wrong. Marriage is not a war, you do not need power or strength to be in a marriage, unless you are planning to kill.yoir spouse.
Again, marriage is not all about endurance. Don't go into marriage to endure rubbish. When your spouse puts up annoying character, call their attention to it and forgive them. When they do same again, forgive them for the second time and warn them that it will be the last. If they try it again, consider divorce. The most important thing to you should be peace of mind and not to endure rubbish in the name of marriage.

Marriage only takes place when both agree to love and care for each other for the rest of their lives, everything is voluntary, not forced, marriage is something sacred, not to endure rubbish. In life, we will face a lot of troubles, and in marriage too. Whether the marriage is stable or not is due to our behavior, not anyone's fault, if the marriage fails, don't rush to blame your partner, but try to think that you have also fulfilled your obligations.

[Flydolphine]

The emotional scar associated with divorce in marriage can never be erased.the couple often undergo series of decrease in levels of happiness and emotional problems.the effect of divorce spills unto the children too,in their academics, behavior and psychologically.to avoid these learn to love your spouse in the way he/ she wants to be loved and remain faithful amongst others.....learn lessons from the mistakes of your parents in their marriage and make yours work

[@forxample]

Marriage is something you need to know before you get to it and you need to understand that your life will never be the same when you will marry the girl you love because when that happens, you gonna do everything to make her happy and comfortable. You just need to consider looking for the right spouse before thinking about marriage and you need to learn what are the criteria to become the right wife for your children. Because if you marry randomly without taking any considerations to do the tips above, then you are risking your marriage and your children's future because you might marry the wrong Man or Woman who will not care about you or your children or maybe they are abusive and you only found that outWe as the Indonesian people must be grateful, with the existence of such advanced technology, so that we can be able to compete with other countries. especially with bitcoin really helping, we get knowledge, insight, know about investment, how to regulate, money management. when you already married.

Relationships in every household must be based on a sense of responsibility, a sense of belonging, respect for one another, especially when they have children. the responsibility is very big. a father, mother. must be a role model for their children at home, the children's main teacher is, both parents. new to school. Children have rights and obligations from their parents
1. the right to get a proper education.
2. The right to be treated fairly.
3. get, protection, affection.
Duties, parents
1. to provide protection, comfort, etc.
the role of parents is very influential on their children, especially in many cases of children being bullied, due to lack of supervision, especially brokenhom children, cases of divorce of their parents.

[Sexylizzy2813]

Talking about marriage, is something we need to get much details before jumping into it, firstly we need to know that is a life time communion between both parties, ones you're in you're in and is not like relationship that you just work in and out mostly for the sex aspect without thinking about the damages it will cause. Before you get married you have to be sure that this is what you want or this is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, sometimes we find our self happy at some point but before you know it we ain't happy with our spouse. My question is, why do we feel that way and end up having a divorce? Is it something natural or there's a curse in marriage or is there a virus in "marriage"?

Even at some point what we see or hear causes a lot of damages in marriages and I'll say 85% of these are dearly responsible, so my advice to those who are in it or about to engage themselves in marriage is, if you find someone you say or think you love and want to spend your life with just know that you are going to be responsible for any actions you take after you're married.

[Hispo]

...just know that you are going to be responsible for any actions you take after you're married.

You make it sound as if a marriage was only about the actions of only one person, which is false. In fact, one could be a good spouse and get things done to provide the relationship what it needs, but the other person may have some trouble with any situation within marriage. In that case, it would be unfair to assume the obstacles or problems going on are fully our responsibility. 

Blaming oneself for everything in a relationship of any sort can only lead to toxicity, in my opinion.

[Sexylizzy2813]

You make it sound as if a marriage was only about the actions of only one person, which is false.

Nope, don't get me wrong on this, if you noticed some people play along in making decisions together as partner but one thing would make either the male or the female involved as the case maybe to fall off the line, what am saying is that, there will be a time when they don't take decisions together maybe because of pressure, that's when trust is being flushed down the drill, bad energy comes in too, and you hear something like "why didn't you tell me sooner"? So that's what I was driving at.

[Lordhermes]

You make it sound as if a marriage was only about the actions of only one person, which is false.

Nope, don't get me wrong on this, if you noticed some people play along in making decisions together as partner but one thing would make either the male or the female involved as the case maybe to fall off the line, what am saying is that, there will be a time when they don't take decisions together maybe because of pressure, that's when trust is being flushed down the drill, bad energy comes in too, and you hear something like "why didn't you tell me sooner"? So that's what I was driving at.

yes marriage is an action of one person, is the man that will decide who he wants to marry. Woman can't go on the street and decide the man she wants to be with. Because is the man that pay the pride price not the woman. So it's a sole decision of one person.
On the other side, marriage is a two side coins, both parties must know they want before they go into it. You must marry your friend and spec.

[BADecker]

Basically, there is one major reason for marriage. It's for security of the children.

Women can have, and are having, children all over the place outside of marriage. In fact, sex outside of marriage is probably the cause of the most murder in the world... abortion... even though there is some abortion within marriage.

Certainly there are many other advantages to marriage, like all kinds of stability for the parents besides the children. But marriage is for the children first.

[Sexylizzy2813]

is the man that will decide who he wants to marry. Woman can't go on the street and decide the man she wants to be with. Because is the man that pay the pride price not the woman. So it's a sole decision of one person.

In marriage is not only the man who gets to make the call on who to get married to, what if the woman says she's not interested in getting married to the man (if is only the man who gets to decide) from what you said? Huh..?
Is not only about the men who gets to choose who he wants to marry or not, they both (man and woman) need to come to an agreement before "marriage" takes place. If is how you see it then you're equally saying a woman has no say in marriage, IMO both parties have the decision to make and not just one person.

[Hispo]

You make it sound as if a marriage was only about the actions of only one person, which is false.

Nope, don't get me wrong on this, if you noticed some people play along in making decisions together as partner but one thing would make either the male or the female involved as the case maybe to fall off the line, what am saying is that, there will be a time when they don't take decisions together maybe because of pressure, that's when trust is being flushed down the drill, bad energy comes in too, and you hear something like "why didn't you tell me sooner"? So that's what I was driving at.

yes marriage is an action of one person, is the man that will decide who he wants to marry. Woman can't go on the street and decide the man she wants to be with. Because is the man that pay the pride price not the woman. So it's a sole decision of one person.
On the other side, marriage is a two side coins, both parties must know they want before they go into it. You must marry your friend and spec.

What are you talking about?
Women decide who to marry. I do not know what country you are from but there in the west, if you have been dating a woman and you both decide to start a relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend, she can perfectly reject any marriage proposal from you, for whatever reason, even after years or being together.

Haven't you heard that women even can choose not to appear at their wedding, since they have decided not to get married?  
That is a funny way of thinking you got there.

[Ebede]

Every man or woman want a good relationship and i believe that it's the reason why some people ends up in marriage or marrying their girlfriends as a wife, it's because of long term relationship of them, that's why it's good not to make  mistake in marriage, so i supprt people who been into relationship before getting married

[BADecker]

Every man or woman want a good relationship and i believe that it's the reason why some people ends up in marriage or marrying their girlfriends as a wife, it's because of long term relationship of them, that's why it's good not to make  mistake in marriage, so i supprt people who been into relationship before getting married

A lot of man/woman relationship is based on how they smell to each other, even if they don't realize it... pheromones.

[BADecker]

Marriage is a mystry,and the risk in marriage is when two imperfect couple comes together,if tolerance is missing.and every man or woman want a better family or marriage so the most risk is knowing who you are geting as a partner,knowing her kind and still get her as a wife,so geting a wife to avoid any mistake observation is needed,to be on the save side because one thing i beleave,is better to devioce in courtship than to devoice in marriage.

When you say devoice, do you mean to stop talking? I always thought there wasn't nearly enough communication in marriage... or before marriage.

[Hallroom]

There is a family leader who controls the entire family.  Maybe grandfather, father, mother, elder brother, that's why many families have such people. And every man expects good behavior from his wife but many things happened in front of my eyes. The husband and wife are currently admitted to the hospital with massive overdoses.

[CODE200]

-snip-

yes marriage is an action of one person, is the man that will decide who he wants to marry. Woman can't go on the street and decide the man she wants to be with. Because is the man that pay the pride price not the woman. So it's a sole decision of one person.
On the other side, marriage is a two side coins, both parties must know they want before they go into it. You must marry your friend and spec.

How about the marriage forced by the family or a culture? Like to have someone next who can handle for their business. Parents arrange marriage on having good partners for the business. In that case its not only the decision of the people who are involved in the marriage but a decision of their parents. Even they don't want it in the first place, some people don't have a choice but to do it for their family. I just read lots of that kind of set up marriage in other country which I see a bit risky specially when you don't like your partner at all, that will lead to a big problem even it will be good for the business.