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Author Topic: Placing value in the family  (Read 624 times)
SmartGold01 (OP)
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July 11, 2023, 03:04:13 PM
 #1

I supposed make this post for economy section but I see am say na we people here go real understand the post very well pass those people for that place. Just as my title take tok am

You wey be first daughter or Son, second and third to any number wey you be for your house, you don eva stay see say you don loose value for ur house onto say you no meet up with family needs or based on say you no dey job kon make ur old man or old woman to place value to ur sisters or brothers pass?
How you dey face the hit for ur family because those people wey be bread winner for their families fit understand the kind of regards them dey get for house based on say them dey always provide for the family pass their elderly brodas and 6tas. I don see some people wey be say for their family wey no balanced well base on say dem never get work or something to do kon make their parents pass the loves to their brodas wey supply the family.

As you get work kon dey bring money for the family how your papa or mama don reason ur matta, she don change or she still dey give special respect to your sister wey be odogu for house or every every don balance for balance for the family?

Well if you never experienced wetin I dey talk e mean say your old man hold money scatter because na only them wey no fit experience am. People wey their old man no hold money understand wetin I dey talk because e dey very frustrating to see say as woman them come carry ur mantle of leadership give ur junior 6sta or brodas onto say your face no show and ur shoe no shine for the house.

Abeg make we discussed respectfully to know wetin we dey pass tru as individuals, make we see people wey there mama remove the mantle give another person for family onto say she/him no fit assist the family as e supposed be.
How una see this kid matta for ur house?

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July 11, 2023, 04:24:21 PM
 #2


Well if you never experienced wetin I dey talk e mean say your old man hold money scatter because na only them wey no fit experience am. People wey their old man no hold money understand wetin I dey talk because e dey very frustrating to see say as woman them come carry ur mantle of leadership give ur junior 6sta or brodas onto say your face no show and ur shoe no shine for the house.


Wetin we go understand be say parenting na big work itself. Parents suppose to balance things wey no balance to the level wey them fit. No be until parents hold scatter be the thing and no be just because one child hold and the other no hold be the the wey dey make their eyes or love shift enter for one person side, parents na human being so just like you go see someone and get natural likeness for the person side, na so kwa wey parents go take like one wey be say even if that one no dey do well, dem go dey pray or dey wish say na that one wey dem love inside their inner mind get dat pepper. Abi you never also see where na you hold cash and dey do things but dem still dey carry glory give another child. This life no balance my brother that's why I been say parents go try balance things. Although we all understand the power of money and wetin money fit do, the family matter dey everywhere but some worse though.


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July 11, 2023, 06:11:21 PM
Merited by CryptopreneurBrainboss (2)
 #3

😭Dear poster, na so I dey transparent to u reach 😢?

Imagine a situation way nobody go sku 4 our generation me com dey sku small small every1 dey hapi dey hail me say I be the light of the family.
My mama, papa, siblings and relatives dey cheer me say na me go clear shame 4 the family all of dem dey say na me go bread the family based on the grace way dey folo me.

I be num. 6 of 8 and I still dey single left with me and our last born but if family issues com na me dem dey call to conclude or decide of the mata and my contribution na jst oral communication oh no b moni cuz I no get at all and family still dey feed me.
Mama, papa and others dey respect me and dey value everytin of me even dey use me do guy for people til I graduate.

I don dey house 4 5yrs nw after graduation yet no job and no source of income.

Nw dem all dey c me as disappointment every1 dey treat me like I be stranga 4 the house my mama nw self dey abuse me say no hope in me say dem no dey depend on me say I dey useless comparing me and my frnds dey make the house hell 4 me to stay.

Na my junior broda dey trend 4 her nw cuz I really failed and I no com b wetin dem expect me to be.

Dem go cook 4 house gimme food only wen dem like.

Sometimes I dey feel like to comit suicide to end d hard situation cuz e dey me hard to handle but I jst dey hope on God while I strive to make a beta life but e still never get head.

We pray make sucide no bea choice for us on such and make frustration no weak us wia we supose strong to win

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July 11, 2023, 07:34:38 PM
 #4

I go say this problem dey very common for our country. Some parent no dey know say everybody get him time when he go shine. God no fit bless everybody the same time. Those parents wey dey downgrade their first pikin because say he never make money,those parents like money too much and why them the parents no make am when them young. My parent no dey like that,instead na pray and how to help the situation on ground na e my mom go dey reason. I don see this kind of thing well,and sometimes that pikin wey first get money wey make them downgrade the first child dey end up getting the money in a wrong way. Actually,I no see any fault from parents wey dey act like this,where dey vex me pass na if the younger one wey don dey help the family small small no come dey respect him senior.
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July 11, 2023, 08:44:20 PM
 #5

I go say this problem dey very common for our country. Some parent no dey know say everybody get him time when he go shine. God no fit bless everybody the same time. Those parents wey dey downgrade their first pikin because say he never make money,those parents like money too much and why them the parents no make am when them young. My parent no dey like that,instead na pray and how to help the situation on ground na e my mom go dey reason. I don see this kind of thing well,and sometimes that pikin wey first get money wey make them downgrade the first child dey end up getting the money in a wrong way. Actually,I no see any fault from parents wey dey act like this,where dey vex me pass na if the younger one wey don dey help the family small small no come dey respect him senior.
You know say money get spirit wey dey follow am and e go hard to see house wey the younger one nai dey feed and still get respect for the others wey be him senior. I fit use one of my friend household as an example the house na their younger brother nai dey feed the house and the boy no dey gree do anything for the house again as him don turn oga and everyone just dey quite because na there food dey come on a daily.

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July 11, 2023, 11:08:08 PM
 #6

Abeg make we discussed respectfully to know wetin we dey pass tru as individuals, make we see people wey there mama remove the mantle give another person for family onto say she/him no fit assist the family as e supposed be.
How una see this kid matta for ur house?

I just dey read this thing wey you dey talk come dey reason life, na very shameful something wen e be you wey supposed dey carry ur Junior ones hands dey wake show road come become dey one wey dey call your junior ones boss because say dem hold and nothing dey your side. I never enter dis kind situation before and I use abeg beg God to no allow me enter. E no mean say I no dey wish my younger ones success but make me too dey get the success so as dem drop 10 naira me I drop too and now we get 20 naira for the family and no be the situation wey be say na only dem go dey bring the 20 naira, e no make sense. I dey see people wey be say dem dey in this exact situation wey you write so and I dey observe as things dey go for their side.

Sometimes wey the snrs go dey do like everything dey okay, if you watch well small small jealousy go dey dey and you no go blame am because him dey see you do wetin na him supposed dey do. Sha if we dey in a position wey be say na we dey provide and our Snr no get anything abeg use wisdom take the run the mata, even though your family carry value give you as OP talk abeg carry shoulder down and make ur Snr dey incharge. Put yourself in his position and understand say life no easy. Just because you dey alright no mean say the other person no dey hustle. My people talk say, '"person wey life dey blessed go think say the other people no dey hustle ". sometimes pass back give your Snr the bread make him give your family so him go dey get respect small and try carry am along.

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July 12, 2023, 02:03:13 AM
 #7

Na true thing wey u tok and dis kind things dem dey happen for 98% family for the society, na only few strong Christian families di thing e no dey happen. And parents wey dey do those, most of them no be responsible parents, because their time dem no fit provide anything for the children and now wen di younger ones come get money pass am nai dem come do like sae na one kind thing. Na dis kind of things wey some parents dey do dey make their children wayward. By right parents supposed encourage and not to crucify.
This behaviour in our society is not good. Comparison dey cause enemy and we have to avoid it in all time. For those of us wey don understand di thing now, make we no dey do am in our families. Because na bad behaviour be dat.

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July 12, 2023, 05:00:57 PM
Merited by Baki202 (2), hugeblack (1)
 #8

I no go lie give you, almost 90% of families d guilty of this kind matter. If one of their pikin get the money pass the others, na that their pikin wey dem go regard pass the rest of their pikin. Every little thing na that their wey d provide for them, na him dem go the praise and talk good of, making the ones wey no d provide anything feel less of themselves like sae them no d try for the family.

I don see in many families wey this kind thing the happen, how em take put their families in disunity. Parents love divided based on the amount of money wey you get. If you no get, no regard for you as their pikin. You will be talked to anyone as sef you worth nothing for the family.

That's why you go see some young guys no d ready to come back home until they make it in life. Not that home no d hungry dem to come see their parents, na because they no want make their family make them feel less of themselves as if they are not trying.

There is this adage wey people d say, ''when you get money, you are called honey, when you no get you be address as monkey''. Many parents are indirectly using that adage on their children, which them no care to know that kind depressing mode and pressure they are putting their children that are yet to start providing for the family into.

I pray make God bless everyone wey d do legit work for here. Make Oluwa butter their bread so that their parents no go disregard them or pressure them in doing something stupid just to meet up or prove themselves to their parents that they can provide for the family also

R


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July 12, 2023, 05:20:46 PM
 #9

I supposed make this post for economy section but I see am say na we people here go real understand the post very well pass those people for that place. Just as my title take tok am

You wey be first daughter or Son, second and third to any number wey you be for your house, you don eva stay see say you don loose value for ur house onto say you no meet up with family needs or based on say you no dey job kon make ur old man or old woman to place value to ur sisters or brothers pass?
How you dey face the hit for ur family because those people wey be bread winner for their families fit understand the kind of regards them dey get for house based on say them dey always provide for the family pass their elderly brodas and 6tas. I don see some people wey be say for their family wey no balanced well base on say dem never get work or something to do kon make their parents pass the loves to their brodas wey supply the family.
The truth be say at all times, the need for money can never be overemphasized which is why those poor and average parents when they see say a particular pikin dey provide rubbers, they always place more value on that very pikin compared to others in the family, not minding if he or she be the youngest or not, as long as the pikin dey always provide what others can't do in the family due to his/her financial status, wey dey most times cause envy among this children when they notice mumsy or popsy don dey favour one person pass the others.
Moreover, money na one thing wey when you no get am, nobody go know you that time, but the moment you cash out, everybody go automatically turn to be your brother, sister, aunty & uncle.

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July 14, 2023, 12:26:53 AM
 #10

Abeg make we discussed respectfully to know wetin we dey pass tru as individuals, make we see people wey there mama remove the mantle give another person for family onto say she/him no fit assist the family as e supposed be.
How una see this kid matta for ur house?
Sometimes wey the snrs go dey do like everything dey okay, if you watch well small small jealousy go dey dey and you no go blame am because him dey see you do wetin na him supposed dey do. Sha if we dey in a position wey be say na we dey provide and our Snr no get anything abeg use wisdom take the run the mata, even though your family carry value give you as OP talk abeg carry shoulder down and make ur Snr dey incharge. Put yourself in his position and understand say life no easy. Just because you dey alright no mean say the other person no dey hustle. My people talk say, '"person wey life dey blessed go think say the other people no dey hustle ". sometimes pass back give your Snr the bread make him give your family so him go dey get respect small and try carry am along.

Nothing commot for wetin you also put here too, na so envy dey carry start for family wey God don create well give the man. See this wey me just come write here na wetin me bin dey pass through and i know say some people here go fit dey face this kind thing but onto say nobody they really yan about this matta dem fit decide to lockup, but rightful truth na wetin you just talk to pass the parole give we elderly ones make them take help set the compass so that peace fit dey for the family. Like before me wey be woman when I be dey lap my old woman she go dey always para for me any small tin others go tok she carry laugh if me yan that kind thin she go pick offense based on say me no dey drop peanut for the house make them take sweep house but like this as pepper begin rest for hand like na me be talkina do for house but with style i dey run parole onto say I still give people's that mattas their regards for we family.
Make i no too go dip inside my family but e get as we take grow sha no wetin me go yan here.


The truth be say at all times, the need for money can never be overemphasized which is why those poor and average parents when they see say a particular pikin dey provide rubbers, they always place more value on that very pikin compared to others in the family, not minding if he or she be the youngest or not, as long as the pikin dey always provide what others can't do in the family due to his/her financial status, wey dey most times cause envy among this children when they notice mumsy or popsy don dey favour one person pass the others.
Moreover, money na one thing wey when you no get am, nobody go know you that time, but the moment you cash out, everybody go automatically turn to be your brother, sister, aunty & uncle.

My brother the tori like this ehh e chock bicus immediately you get money na that time all forms of relatives go raise head say you be their sister daughter or Brother Son, especially say you wey be woman wey dem expect nothing good fit come out of that person go make them shock and immediate begin to buy favor from your ends.
But anyhow, based on this matter ehh na serious tin wey dey happened like bicus we no too put eyes or we no stay together as everybodi take grow make you feel like say this tin wey i dey tok no too show, if na that time wey we dey with mumsy for home where everybodi dey hustle dey bring small small na dey highest builder them go give attention pass oo.


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knowngunman
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July 18, 2023, 09:11:04 AM
 #11

Abeg make we discussed respectfully to know wetin we dey pass tru as individuals, make we see people wey there mama remove the mantle give another person for family onto say she/him no fit assist the family as e supposed be.
How una see this kid matta for ur house?

The thing no dey shock me again na because they say money na root of all evil. Life no suppose be so but without money nobody send your papa, even your papa no go send you. I dey see the challenges as a motivation to work hard and make the money no matter how little. Respect no be by age or reciprocal again ooo once you get money Omo even if you kill person people go dey blame the person wey you kill.

Na we the first born dey feel the heat pass for this matter I swear. I pray make God no shame any first born for him family. I remember some years back wey my sister wan get married. I swear na from outsider I hear the information of my own sister marriage because I no get money to add to anything even if they tell me for house and they no kuku invite me for the meeting. Remember say I be the first born ooo Grin e no funny but I just dey laugh with pain when I remember the matter.

Gradually, as I comot for house con hustle and begin dey show impact for family matters small small, things change no be small. Dem dey consult me for everything now. Even thou na fly pass our house dem go call to tell me. Abeg e good to get money.

R


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Gozie51
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July 18, 2023, 02:11:47 PM
 #12


Na we the first born dey feel the heat pass for this matter I swear. I pray make God no shame any first born for him family. I remember some years back wey my sister wan get married. I swear na from outsider I hear the information of my own sister marriage because I no get money to add to anything even if they tell me for house and they no kuku invite me for the meeting. Remember say I be the first born ooo Grin e no funny but I just dey laugh with pain when I remember the matter.

Gradually, as I comot for house con hustle and begin dey show impact for family matters small small, things change no be small. Dem dey consult me for everything now. Even thou na fly pass our house dem go call to tell me. Abeg e good to get money.

Na matter like this dey make some men go involve for the wrong things just say make pepper begin show so that Dem go get mouth for house and outside. If we no tie our emotion very well omo we go loose our conscience. Parents suppose dey give first born better rope to climb because na Dem still suppose dey show light for the rest at least to some extent.  House wey hand no dey reach for wetin dem want dey always antagonize demselves but if all man get, no body go dey worry who do or who no do.

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July 18, 2023, 04:36:05 PM
 #13

On a normal day as a matured boy/girl for family, maybe as first son/daughter, you go happy say you just dey house and you no dey provide anything for una family?

 I know say una answer go be No.

Make we dey sincere to ourselves, nobody go Happy say en no get monetary value for their family weda you be first child or other wise,  e take the grace of God and family wey get fear of God to value such person in the family, na who dey provide for family Dem dey always place value on, e dey happen almost for all families, though e dey deh very painful shall, but na the truth I dey want talk.

For my area like this I know family wey be say the second son get money pass the first son by far, you need to see how the parents and siblings dey respect the second son, na the second son even build the family house wey all of them dey stay like this,
If Dem get family meeting and the second son never come, the meeting no go start, but Dem go fit hold meeting without first son, just because the second son dey and en get money.

Nai make most times as a first child you need pray and hustle very well, because for family now na who get money dey get respect and value for their family, e come matter your position in via birth...

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July 18, 2023, 09:23:26 PM
 #14

Each family has it life curddles and that's the cross we are all meant to vear individually depending on the kind of family we found ourselves in, we cannot because of the challenges of what we sometimes faces in the family to neglect their roles and importance to human development in life, we are going to later depends on the family when we are having issues with life but we will always want to distant from them when we are ok without having life challenges.

.
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July 19, 2023, 04:59:41 AM
 #15

I supposed make this post for economy section but I see am say na we people here go real understand the post very well pass those people for that place. Just as my title take tok am

You wey be first daughter or Son, second and third to any number wey you be for your house, you don eva stay see say you don loose value for ur house onto say you no meet up with family needs or based on say you no dey job kon make ur old man or old woman to place value to ur sisters or brothers pass?
How you dey face the hit for ur family because those people wey be bread winner for their families fit understand the kind of regards them dey get for house based on say them dey always provide for the family pass their elderly brodas and 6tas. I don see some people wey be say for their family wey no balanced well base on say dem never get work or something to do kon make their parents pass the loves to their brodas wey supply the family.

As you get work kon dey bring money for the family how your papa or mama don reason ur matta, she don change or she still dey give special respect to your sister wey be odogu for house or every every don balance for balance for the family?

Well if you never experienced wetin I dey talk e mean say your old man hold money scatter because na only them wey no fit experience am. People wey their old man no hold money understand wetin I dey talk because e dey very frustrating to see say as woman them come carry ur mantle of leadership give ur junior 6sta or brodas onto say your face no show and ur shoe no shine for the house.

Abeg make we discussed respectfully to know wetin we dey pass tru as individuals, make we see people wey there mama remove the mantle give another person for family onto say she/him no fit assist the family as e supposed be.
How una see this kid matta for ur house?

Them say nah person wey wear shoe nai know where e dey pain am pass, if this thing never happen to anybody here I no sure say the person fit understand how e dey be for some of us wey e affect wella. E don happen to me when I finish school, house no too pure sotey my mama dy compare me with other people child, my dear make una no ever try that mistake for this life on any of una children, for people wey don born oh...But as e be like this no be every parents sabi wetin to take use as words of encouragement to their children but ones them see say Pikin "A" no dey solid for ground them go begin praise pikin "B" . To me oh I go say this matter no fit change as long as our parents dem don dey accustom to this behavior but hope dey, nah only we the future of tomorrow abi nah leaders of tomorrow nai fit change am in the sense that we no go do am to our children but encourage them tell them say e go better other than using offensive words and making them look small where their junior dey because say them they bring food for table and the senior no get to bring. Nah we go change that mentality no be our papa and mama because them don dy already soaked inside that yeye behavior, make una no vex say I call our parents behavior YEYE, e pain me when I remember wetin I pass through.
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July 30, 2023, 09:29:22 AM
 #16

As you get work kon dey bring money for the family how your papa or mama don reason ur matta, she don change or she still dey give special respect to your sister wey be odogu for house or every every don balance for balance for the family?

No be say because God done bless you, your Mama or papa no go still give respect to your sisters or lose value to them, he no mean say because you dey help the family provide things for house go stop them giving the rest special respect, but some parents know go reason am like that, dey go stop dey listing to the rest, if dey are talking because dey will say you don't have money dey will change allot,  but some family know mean say because you done get money pass the rest For house dey know go talk to you, when you do something wrong.he know make sense because you done get pass your sis or bro your parents go change him character. Parents were know waiting dey are doing dey will reduce the relationship where dey before, When the money never come.

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August 05, 2023, 10:07:08 PM
 #17

Let me cheep in small tin onto u be last born for
The family as far as u get money everyone will
Respect u for house even family meeting they will
Wait for you onto every way for the family matter
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August 05, 2023, 11:55:43 PM
 #18

As bad as e sound, e dey happen and even when some people realize say, them don dey cast for society and their families via say, them no dey meet up themselves to represent watin them suppose be or the value way suppose follow there positioning for birth, them just find themselves helpless on the situation and succumb to the situation.

Na the life most dey live inside. Still, you gats understand say, seniority no mean maturity and e no still mean say, you gats get pass your younger ones. All na your own thinking and the way you carry dey your pass from time make way for pure.

At least if you no too get, make you get enough to dey okay and put body for watin dey go on for family. Na the only way you fit keep your regard even when your junior onces don get pass you. In fact cef, e go be thingbof joy and a load taken off you when them dey do well.
Make you kwa get chance to do well and improve yourself. No let yourself down, e cast!

R


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uchegod-21
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August 06, 2023, 11:31:15 AM
 #19

I supposed make this post for economy section but I see am say na we people here go real understand the post very well pass those people for that place. Just as my title take tok am

You wey be first daughter or Son, second and third to any number wey you be for your house, you don eva stay see say you don loose value for ur house onto say you no meet up with family needs or based on say you no dey job kon make ur old man or old woman to place value to ur sisters or brothers pass?
How you dey face the hit for ur family because those people wey be bread winner for their families fit understand the kind of regards them dey get for house based on say them dey always provide for the family pass their elderly brodas and 6tas. I don see some people wey be say for their family wey no balanced well base on say dem never get work or something to do kon make their parents pass the loves to their brodas wey supply the family.

As you get work kon dey bring money for the family how your papa or mama don reason ur matta, she don change or she still dey give special respect to your sister wey be odogu for house or every every don balance for balance for the family?

Well if you never experienced wetin I dey talk e mean say your old man hold money scatter because na only them wey no fit experience am. People wey their old man no hold money understand wetin I dey talk because e dey very frustrating to see say as woman them come carry ur mantle of leadership give ur junior 6sta or brodas onto say your face no show and ur shoe no shine for the house.

Abeg make we discussed respectfully to know wetin we dey pass tru as individuals, make we see people wey there mama remove the mantle give another person for family onto say she/him no fit assist the family as e supposed be.
How una see this kid matta for ur house?
Dis na serious matter wey some families for we country dey face. Wetin I get to talk for this matter be say, make we no too reason this particular matter because if person begin think about how him family don comot right from him hand give him other brodas and sistas wey dey too well, the person fit sick or go through wetin oyibo people dey call 'depression' and dis depression na very bad thing.

My people, if you know say your hand no too strong for the family, no just do asive nothing concern you for the family.  Because if you commot body from family issues because say you no get money, people go see you as person wey no dey useful.  Yes na, you dey useless for the family. Even if say money no dey, make your presence, ideas, strength and physical effort prove say you dey think better for the family.


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Liliana1304
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August 06, 2023, 11:54:32 AM
 #20

At the end of the day, nah who get moni dem dey call boss. Dis mata Op bring na somtin wey don dey happen sins time immemorial and if I no dey mistaken, most times, nah the mama dey cos d discomfort of the individual. E good as mature boy or girl to get somtin to do o, even tho you still dey ya parents house because that way you go fit dey contribute for one or two things.

Nah for naija wey pesin don pass 20 and e still dey him parents house, for the western parts, once you reach 18, you don Japa because anything wey still keep you, you go begin pay rent. Bit that's by the way.
For my case, wen e bin red for me, nah confam shege I see cause as I no dey bring, anything I wan take e go dey measured for me, I no fit get peace of mind as somtin wey I go do without any intent towards the pesin wey dey bring moni for house, Dem go say I wan kill the good luck wey dem don get..

I just feel say the earlier we come to terms with the fact say nah who get pipo dey like appreciate, we go get rest because if we no understand, we fit go do pass ourselves and fit end up failing.
Most of us be potential parents and to stop these things from happening nah to correct those wrongs wey our parents do by putting aside favouritism and accept all of them as them dey.
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