Who should quit, and why?

[darkangel11]

If both of them are gamblers than maybe they should choose a game that suits both and the winner keeps on gambling while the loser has to quit. Gamblers should gamble over it, right?
Consider the above only if you really have to choose one person to do it because IMO it's important to live in a healthy relationship. You don't want your wife to be sad and depressed because she lost against you and now has to quit gambling.

If we really had to do it, for instance to keep the kids out of it, we would be quitting together. Gambling shouldn't mean the world to you and you shouldn't put it above your family relations.
Either keep playing like you do and don't make it into a situation where only one of you has to quit, or quit together.

[bangjoe]

Hey house someone need a few clips here, don't know if a post of this exact nature has been discussed though.

In a situation where the both spouse are gamblers. Husband gambles, wife gambles, how can both of them manage the situation in terms of finance and the family affairs especially when children are now involve so that the time both spends on gambling doesn't affect family moments and affairs in general.

Would it help if  one of the couple quit for the other and if that's the case who should quit for who.

I think this kind of problem depends on how a person or married couple controls their gambling properly, both from money management and sort of as a basis for having the principle of responsible gambling that will go well without stopping their gambling activities.

But if indeed one of them has an impulsive nature and the other is not too addicted, in my opinion, the easier one to stop is the best choice, to maintain family stability, but it will be quite difficult if both of them have a gambling addiction, I hope cases like this do not happen anywhere, because the impact is very bad on the family relationship.

[alani123]

Gambling can be a vice and can be abused. If both people in a marriage give in and push each other, likelyhood of abuse just grows.
However, in many cultures gambling is done socially. I think the exception here can be that in social conditions the aspect of gambling that is done just for fun instead of Greece can be maintained more easily. So I would say try to keep it social and if not possible just maybe cut it off completely.

[Twentyonepaylots]

Hey house someone need a few clips here, don't know if a post of this exact nature has been discussed though.

In a situation where the both spouse are gamblers. Husband gambles, wife gambles, how can both of them manage the situation in terms of finance and the family affairs especially when children are now involve so that the time both spends on gambling doesn't affect family moments and affairs in general.

Would it help if  one of the couple quit for the other and if that's the case who should quit for who.

I never thought of this situation before, and this is a great question actually. With regards to husband and wife, it's both of your responsibility to take care of each other and so if gambling takes a piece of time where you are supposed to be in bed, table, or even fetch the kids from school then it should be stop. BUT let's say you are both in gambling, I'd say if it doesn't affect your lives as husband and wife, or as being parent I think it's only fine to find your entertainment with gambling. WHO SHOULD STOP? I guess this is something that both of you need to talk about, sit and talk. Bottomline, if it doesn't affect your relationship/responsibilities I think it's fine.

[Accardo]

If both of them are gamblers than maybe they should choose a game that suits both and the winner keeps on gambling while the loser has to quit. Gamblers should gamble over it, right?
Consider the above only if you really have to choose one person to do it because IMO it's important to live in a healthy relationship. You don't want your wife to be sad and depressed because she lost against you and now has to quit gambling.

If we really had to do it, for instance to keep the kids out of it, we would be quitting together. Gambling shouldn't mean the world to you and you shouldn't put it above your family relations.
Either keep playing like you do and don't make it into a situation where only one of you has to quit, or quit together.

How about thinking of it from a perspective where both gamblers are experienced in gambling? One side doesn't have to feel bad for losing a few bucks in gambling. They both need to caution themselves on that. I'd say instead of quitting, they can play together and communicate about maintaining their habit. In your context, if the wife always has a mood swing after gambling, it's best to stop her, so that she won't get sad on the kids. They can still be playing, and maintain a rule of keeping the kids out of it. What is most important is to take the responsibility of the home most seriously. And gambling is a secondary priority. I prefer a family with both parents gamblers than one parent a gambler. In the later, the one person will hide his habit from his wife, just like most forum members testified, that they hide being a gambler from their wife. So, if the gambler loses a whooping amount, he'll lie to the wife about using it for something else. Which is not conducive to the growth of the family. On the contrary, both parents will easily flow together and watch each other gamble. Advising themselves on how much to stake each month. The kids won't find out about this unless their parents are compulsive gamblers, they can begin to suspect the chaos happening between their parents.

[Yatsan]

Hey house someone need a few clips here, don't know if a post of this exact nature has been discussed though.

In a situation where the both spouse are gamblers. Husband gambles, wife gambles, how can both of them manage the situation in terms of finance and the family affairs especially when children are now involve so that the time both spends on gambling doesn't affect family moments and affairs in general.

Would it help if  one of the couple quit for the other and if that's the case who should quit for who.

If there is still an option and if gambling habits are still bearable then no one has to quit but both should manage their finances in a better way. But if things got out of hand, then both should quit. Why? one would be envious and there will be no equality on this matter for that couple. They should make the choice; either to make adjustments for both of them or to totally quit.

If both of them are gamblers than maybe they should choose a game that suits both and the winner keeps on gambling while the loser has to quit. Gamblers should gamble over it, right?
Consider the above only if you really have to choose one person to do it because IMO it's important to live in a healthy relationship. You don't want your wife to be sad and depressed because she lost against you and now has to quit gambling.

If we really had to do it, for instance to keep the kids out of it, we would be quitting together. Gambling shouldn't mean the world to you and you shouldn't put it above your family relations.
Either keep playing like you do and don't make it into a situation where only one of you has to quit, or quit together.

Problem is envy which could open another argument. Let's say one is more profitable but given that in gambling, nothing is consistent, then there'll be times that he/she would lose. This is where misunderstanding could arise between the couple.

[Zoomic]

This greatly depends on the following

• what is their motive for gambling?
• how well do they manage their time?

If their motivation for gambling is strictly base on entertainment and fun, making one partner quit to take care of the family's affair would not be fair enough. Gambling for fun means they have their jobs which generates income needed to run the family. This means the tendency of being addicted is low. Gambling for fun will really spice up their marriage. No one needs to quit, all they need to do is to make sure they gamble responsibly so it does not affect their jobs, kids, other family members and friends.

But if on the other hand their aim of gambling is to raise money to sustain the family, then one partner which is the wife has to quit gambling and pay attention to the family affairs.  Both partners being involved in gambling means a lot of family funds will go into gambling which is not healthy. I know a lot of people will say they can gamble responsibly but it's not easy for people who see gambling as their primary source of income to gamble responsibly. Addiction might set in and the entire family will suffer the consequences.

[Juse14]

Hey house someone need a few clips here, don't know if a post of this exact nature has been discussed though.

In a situation where the both spouse are gamblers. Husband gambles, wife gambles, how can both of them manage the situation in terms of finance and the family affairs especially when children are now involve so that the time both spends on gambling doesn't affect family moments and affairs in general.

Would it help if  one of the couple quit for the other and if that's the case who should quit for who.

Both must quit their gambling activities. A husband is the backbone of the family, he is obliged to earn a living and ensure the life of his family and he cannot if he only relies on gambling to be able to provide for his family. Because gambling has a high risk and does not guarantee that every time we play, we will get a win. Meanwhile, children and wives need to eat every day and not to mention other household needs and their children's school fees. So that a husband is required to have a job or a business that can indeed make money to answer all the needs of his family.

Likewise with a wife, she must leave her gambling activities because there are children she must take care of, there are children who really need attention and love from their mother.

And if both of them cannot stop their gambling activities, or control these activities. I worry that the family will be fine. And I'm also quite worried about the child's development.

[Sanugarid]

Hey house someone need a few clips here, don't know if a post of this exact nature has been discussed though.

In a situation where the both spouse are gamblers. Husband gambles, wife gambles, how can both of them manage the situation in terms of finance and the family affairs especially when children are now involve so that the time both spends on gambling doesn't affect family moments and affairs in general.

Would it help if  one of the couple quit for the other and if that's the case who should quit for who.

Actually, that would not be a problem if the husband and wife both control themselves when it comes to gambling. I can say this because my aunt and uncle are like this, they are both gamblers but maybe it would be better if they both quit gambling like my aunt and uncle did, they both quit gambling so they can focus on their children well because it is growing too.

[livingfree]

This is quite hard if it's affecting a little kid with these hobbies of yours. But isn't this a positive thing knowing that both of you gambles and you understand each other when you gamble?

It's just going to play differently if both of you are starting to neglect your parental duties and as well as the household incomes being affected with gambling.

For example, that when someone is craving to gamble and there goes the budget for groceries. One intended to gamble with the grocery budget without telling it to the significant other. With that secret, that's where the other losses trust and so a trust issue will appear.

[len01]

maybe there are married couples who gamble together but I am very sure that they dont have financial problems, you could say they are rich because usually woman finds it difficult to gamble and chooses to shop for daily necessities, but if there  a woman who gambles while her partner also does it surely they are rich people who are confused about how to waste their money.
it not surprising that happens and I am pretty sure it very rare for something like this to happen even though I am a gambler, my wife does not want to do it for the reason that its better for her money to buy necessities or shop for beauty.

IMO, if the question was just a story, maybe the male partner would give in to quit gambling for his partner and take his wife away from gambling.

[BitcoinPanther]

Hey house someone need a few clips here, don't know if a post of this exact nature has been discussed though.

In a situation where the both spouse are gamblers. Husband gambles, wife gambles, how can both of them manage the situation in terms of finance and the family affairs especially when children are now involve so that the time both spends on gambling doesn't affect family moments and affairs in general.

It is very simple, the couple must gamble responsibly.  Engaging in gambling activity does not instantly means that these people will be in financial ruins.  People who are able to control themselves and moderate their gambling activity often don't find any problem whine venturing in gambling.

Would it help if  one of the couple quit for the other and if that's the case who should quit for who.

It would greatly help because one of the couple had stop spending money to gambling but, if they full control their gambling activity, I believe there is no need for any of them to stop.  As long as they can maintain their living at the maximum capacity, then I think it makes no difference if one of them quit or not.

[OgNasty]

A household where both husband and wife are gambling addicts sounds like a good beginning to a Hollywood movie. I can only imagine the kind of issues they would have. I’m not sure what the proper way for one of them to quit would be. Seems like it would be better if they both quit and were there for each other as a support system.

[Dr.Bitcoin_Strange]

(Rhetorical question): I thought gambling was for fun. Or has the couple turned gambling into a career thing where their income flow is relied upon? Gambling is nothing they do every day, every minute, and every hour, and if they are not handling it like that, then there is nothing to worry about here. If I am a dad, I can gamble with any small space I have and still have the time to take care of my home.

As a wife or a mother to some kids, even if you are a gambler, you will still have time for your kids and family affairs, unless gambling is your profession and occupation, on which you or your husband rely solely for survival.

But to answer your question in a straight-up way, I think both parties should stop gambling if gambling has become a thing of distraction in their home. If they both are addicted gamblers, what will their children then become?

But if these two couples are responsible gamblers who only gamble for fun and only gamble when they have free time, then it's fine.

[goxcraft]

Both should but it is not practical to choose a side saying he should quit or she should quit. As parents both of them have the equal responsibilities towards their children. As a matter of fact quitting gambling was never a simple thing. Without strong will power it's not possible. If a person doesn't understand what's good or bad for them then there is no telling him or advising him. It would mean a waste of time. So rather than arguing who should quit, we should try to make some sense in their mind.

[Ever-young]

If quitting gambling comes from inside, is determined, and will find a way to stop it, that's good, and it will be easy to quit. But if there is no determination or willingness, obviously, it will be difficult for any of them to quit gambling.

Then it is not good for the couple that they both have a gambling addiction. Because, for sure, that is not far from being the root cause of their separation as a couple; in short, there is also a high chance that gambling will be the way for them to break their relationship as partners.

Lol I asked a gambler if it's possible to quit gambling, do you know what he asked me? He asked if it was possible for a man to survive after draining out every single blood from his body, that's to tell how deep gambling has eaten deep into his life. Not just him but in the life of every gambler, when gambling becomes habitual in a man's life, quiting is almost impossible, it'd take the grace of God to quit completely. Maybe you can quit for a few days, weeks, months or even years but on the long run, you'll still see yourself gambling. I've never seen any gambler that's successfully quit gambling. If there's any, I'd be happy to know.

[electronicash]

Both should but it is not practical to choose a side saying he should quit or she should quit. As parents both of them have the equal responsibilities towards their children. As a matter of fact quitting gambling was never a simple thing. Without strong will power it's not possible. If a person doesn't understand what's good or bad for them then there is no telling him or advising him. It would mean a waste of time. So rather than arguing who should quit, we should try to make some sense in their mind.

if they don't understand their situation, the more the adult in the room is needed for both to see where their ship is going. although it's hard to stop a habit abruptly, this will be needed at least for one of them.

this is just a situation given by OP though. but if there is a real couple with kids and still are gambling together. i would be amazed mixed with awe by how far their relationship had come.

[AmoreJaz]

Both should but it is not practical to choose a side saying he should quit or she should quit. As parents both of them have the equal responsibilities towards their children. As a matter of fact quitting gambling was never a simple thing. Without strong will power it's not possible. If a person doesn't understand what's good or bad for them then there is no telling him or advising him. It would mean a waste of time. So rather than arguing who should quit, we should try to make some sense in their mind.

if they don't understand their situation, the more the adult in the room is needed for both to see where their ship is going. although it's hard to stop a habit abruptly, this will be needed at least for one of them.

this is just a situation given by OP though. but if there is a real couple with kids and still are gambling together. i would be amazed mixed with awe by how far their relationship had come.

that is very true. for sure, financial troubles is on the way if they are really hooked into gambling. even if they have a lot of money at the beginning, they will catch debts after debts if they won't stop and evaluate their situation.
i can agree if it is only occasional basis like for fun or entertainment when the family wants to have some recreational activity. but if they are regulars, this can easily go to worse scenario.

[Orpichukwu]

If the situation is where both partners are responsible gamblers, I don't think there will be any need for any of them to stop gambling unless it's a case where their gambling habit is affecting their family financially. Then not just one of them needs to stop, but both of them should call an end to it.
 
If, for example, you are gambling with just 0.1% of what someone is making in a month or year and it doesn't even have any effect on what they are spending on or their financial budget is not being affected, I don't think there will be a need for them to raise the alarm of one party to stop gambling.
 
But in a situation where both parties are chronic gamblers and think of gambling first before what they will eat, then it's not a matter of who to shop for, but both of them should just stop it as it might render them homeless some day if care is not taken.

[macson]

Hey house someone need a few clips here, don't know if a post of this exact nature has been discussed though.

In a situation where the both spouse are gamblers. Husband gambles, wife gambles, how can both of them manage the situation in terms of finance and the family affairs especially when children are now involve so that the time both spends on gambling doesn't affect family moments and affairs in general.

Would it help if  one of the couple quit for the other and if that's the case who should quit for who.

taking care of children is the responsibility of both parents, it is not only the wife's responsibility and not only the husband's responsibility, but in a social society that has existed for thousands of years, women are the ones who have to put a lot of effort into the household, so that is based on your question, my answer is that the wife must stop gambling ^{(the wife is obliged to yield to her husband)} to become a truly responsible wife, my words may seem old school, but fate between men and women cannot be equal.