Setting up financial structures before going into the family way

[bayu7adi]

Most women would probably want to make sure their family's financial future is secure by finding a guy with a better job. But in real life, marriage doesn't seem as easy as we think (I can't say for sure since I'm not married yet). To truly have a harmonious situation, at least every guy should be able to choose a wife who is obedient and capable of having one mindset in a marriage.

Money becomes super important because nobody wants to live in poverty. Some families choose a simple life with happy hearts, but in reality, it's the implementation of living standards that becomes the issue. Anyone who focuses on other people's living standards will never be satisfied and will always feel lacking compared to what others have.

Every man have to work hard... that's a given, but the income should be enough to live. It doesn't have to be super rich because a woman who loves your money... will find it hard to accept when you're at your worst.

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[dothebeats]

Even if you're not married, you need to have a good financial to fulfill your needs, now if your financial isn't settle yet, how it's make sense to marry someone when you can't fulfill yourself first?

I think the government need to tighten the rules to marry someone, it's either at least 25 years old for male or he don't need to be 25 years old but he has $1 Million.

That takes away a lot of freewill and emotional freedom that is written in the law. Perhaps a lot more education regarding finances and coming to age for the younger generations will work. I'm sure this will be met with a lot of resistance from people who we know complains about everything under the sun. Heck, if gender issues are prevalent and there are dedicated groups of people advocating against 'discrimination' and 'equal rights' nowadays, how much more with issues related to preventing human emotions to develop into deeper connections (marriage)?

I'd say just educate people more about it, and perhaps they'll get swayed to not marry or birth another child until they have sufficient money. If the government can do mass brainwashing before, I'm pretty sure they can do it now for a positive result.

[topbitcoin]

Money does not guarantee happiness in the household and a lasting relationship, but money can cause marital relationships to break down. In the country I live in, the husband must provide for all his wife's needs and also the monthly expenses in the household. It is important for future husbands to have some savings in preparation for emergency funds if the direction of their income sources changes after marriage.
The more technology develops, the greater the cost of living, especially for women whose needs exceed those of men. Needing to maintain financial stability by looking for a side job outside of their main job, men must be prepared to work hard to maintain the integrity of their marriage.

I agree with your opinion, and during the recent pandemic which caused economic activity to decline, many workers were laid off and employment opportunities were difficult. This encourages more and more divorces. And it is true that most divorce cases are motivated by economic and financial problems.

And almost 70% of divorce cases that occur in my country are filed by the wife. This shows that only a few women are willing and willing when they are in a difficult situation, and only a few women are willing and willing to fight together so that the family's financial and economic conditions can return to stability.
And what you say is true, therefore, maintain relationships so that they are always harmonious, so that we as husbands are the support and backbone of the family as much as possible to keep finances and the economy stable. Although this is indeed a very difficult thing. But on the other hand, apart from externally we must be sufficient, we must also be sufficient internally. Because sometimes a relationship can break down not only because of financial problems. A husband's lack of love and attention to his wife can be one of the factors causing a rift in a relationship.

[Juse14]

Money cannot guarantee happiness at all, but if you don't have money, let alone being happy, it's very difficult to smile. And it doesn't all have to be money, but it all requires money. So, as a man, let's make as much money as possible....

And sometimes having a relationship as husband and wife is quite difficult and complicated. Sometimes when a husband earns less than his wife, it is the husband who feels humiliated. And sometimes a wife becomes a little big-headed, which in the household should be, the husband is the head of the family and the husband is the one who manages everything. However, when the wife's income is greater, the situation is reversed, where the wife is the one who has control.
And sometimes this also triggers divorce in domestic relationships, because the wife thinks that she no longer needs a man, because she already has financial independence and is able to meet all her needs with her own income.

[AnonBitCoiner]

As you described that before marriage one should made any setting of finance that will make him able to continuously earn so it means that if a person is not financially stable then he should not be involved in marriage life but I think its not a good idea. Setting before marriage is necessary but it is our believe that with marriage your fate will be changed so if financial status of any person is worse then he should be involved in marriage.

If wife wants a better environment and a person with better job then she should also be prepared for doing anything for his husband because if husband can do each each every struggles for a wife then why she cannot? Wealth does not define your marriage life but its understanding which make the relationship strong.

I am agree that a person should be financially stable and he should work hard for his family but it does not means that forever a person will remains wealthy therefore adoption is necessary according to every situation may be its a wife or husband both should understand the circumstances.

[lienfaye]

Don't be blended by love as a young person, their are times that love won't be enough to run a home and that's when factors like your financial strength can come through for you.

Nowadays it's not unusual to see young couple getting married even they're not financially stable yet, having just love. But the problem starts when they had kid and unable to provide for their overall needs. Money is also one of the reason why some couple ended up dealing with separation. On the other side, it doesn't necessarily mean getting married young and not ready for responsibility (financially) can cause problem. Because it depends on how they handle their situation and solve whatever problem arise. Because if you are already married, you'll learn to strive hard to provide for your family's needs. But this is, if you are a responsible person and aware of your obligation.

[Kakmakr]

The thing is ..... most men are thinking with their little head.. when the hormones are raging. They go blindly into a marriage without any thought of the financial consequences. They even start with a family, before they are able to support it.

Those kinds of marriages are doomed to fail, because the foundation are flawed from the start. The financial aspect of the marriage are just ONE of the several challenges that new couples have to face.... so they are starting with a marriage where there are many issues from the start and that might be too much for many young people.

[Alpha Marine]

I agree that people should have a financial plan before going into a marriage but I disagree that the root cause of failed marriages is due to poor financial planning, but that's by the way.

A lot of people have the mindset of "we'll figure it out as we go". Not me. There are things you figure out as you go, but that doesn't stop you from having a plan. Couples get married without planning anything. How do you pay the rent? how do you afford the kid's education? What percentage of our salaries should be slit for savings and investments? What about the health insurance of the children? All these are questions that need to be discussed before the time comes.

I'm not saying doing all these will definitely make the marriage successful, but it would certainly make the future a lot easier. Things do not always go according to plan, but I believe you'll be able to deal with emergencies when you plan for them.

[Hewlet]

As you described that before marriage one should made any setting of finance that will make him able to continuously earn so it means that if a person is not financially stable then he should not be involved in marriage life but I think its not a good idea. Setting before marriage is necessary but it is our believe that with marriage your fate will be changed so if financial status of any person is worse then he should be incolved in marriage.

that's not what I mean, before starting any journey in life, their are fundamental things that should be on ground to aid you thrive through the journey effectively. It's just like preparing for high school, if you don't have a string sponsor, wound it be wrong to advice that one make a reasonable amount of saving before even seeking for admission? But making savings doesn't mean that people cannot star up their high school journey with no penny in their account but to be on a safer side it becomes necessary to put things in order first.

I have seen so many marriages that have broken up because of finance and their are lot of youths in my street that are currently confused and frustrating because their parent are still struggling to bring food to the home and their isn't enough money to cater for their education.

If you don't gained financial freedom before getting married and after your marriage once children start coming in you will discover that you will leave at least 20 years of your life raising funds to take care of the children if care is not taken.

Let me be very direct on this, most of the people I know of that had no financial preparation on ground before settling down are still in abject poverty till this moment, it's just a very little percentage of them that are able to go back to the drawing board and sort out for ways to fix their lived.

Wisdom is profitable to direct.

[KiaKia]

Proper training and upbringing isn't related to poor financial conditions, lack of home training doesn't make you poor, it's different, and financial problems is the only reasons that marriage collapse, if you think I am wrong, why are rich men getting divorced? There are few rich people in my country that are now divorced.

Money isn't answer to everything, but I accept that lack of money easily breaks a home, but mind you, some people don't have it all in their lives and they still never divorce their partners, they prefer to go through hell together.

Even if you have all the money in the world, you can still fail at keeping a woman, money isn't going to solve everything for you, remember that money even attract the wrong people, especially having it all before marriage, someone can pretend to love you for your money and such people can take your life slowly to get everything you've ever worked for.

[lovesmayfamilis]

We all live in different countries, and in many countries, there is already a long-rooted rule that there is no need to rush into marriage. All these remarks about love and passion should be very well thought out, as many will agree that it is very difficult to maintain love where financial difficulties may arise. At the time of meetings and the candy-bouquet period, everything may seem too simple, which cannot be said when young people get married. People must understand that family means procreation and, accordingly, the creation of well-being for their spouses, and even more so for their children.
Increasing the number of children without a solid financial cushion is tantamount to increasing poverty. Intelligent people need to firmly understand the responsibilities they take on when they get married.

[justdimin]

i agree with your point which says that someone who wants to build a family must have good finances to be able to support their family in the future. at a minimum, he must be able to feed his children and wife and give them a decent place for them to live, then they can plan their finances for education, health and investment in the future.

if even the basic things in the household cannot be provided for, this will result in the emergence of various problems which often escalate into bigger problems such as domestic violence and even divorce. that's why it's important for people who want to get married to prepare themselves thoroughly so that in the future their family's needs can be met properly.

I believe that it may cause problems if you are not ready for it, if you are ready for it then it may not cause any problems at all, you should be careful and you should be ready but it could be quite well as well.

As someone who didn't have much money when I first got married, I can credit all my income to my wife because thanks to being married I got the understanding of responsibility and tried to work harder and look for more work everywhere and making more money now. When I was single, I didn't have any needs, I could make very little, work very little, barely got any money even asked for my parents to pay for some stuff, and just ended up overall not caring about anything at all and that made me feel fine about it in the end. That's why being married sort of made me richer.

[Youngkhngdiddy]

We women love money and will never be happy and okay in a relationship or union where there is no money, and no hope to get money because our partner is looking relaxed and not want to push themselves to get more. Just as we fall in love, we can also fall out of love quickly. Every young man should make sure that they have a source of income and are sure of the source of income being able to manage them first before bringing in another person as a partner. The people who will pressure you into marriage will not be there to support you always when things financially rough for you, you have to plan well.

   Well personally I don’t think there’s no in the world that doesn’t love money, being in a marriage makes both Partners one,  whatever decision made should be made for the common good of the family. Before getting married I believe they must have been a relationship already established and both parties must have that understanding too as well. I don’t accept the fact that you’re imposing the whole work on the man, rather it should be a two way thing, after all they say what a man can do a woman can do better. Naturally it’s a man things to provide unless the man is just born lazy and not ready to work. But then I also think that everything would have been seen during the cost of dating eachother.
  It not fair to bring in someone into this world just to starve them. In as much as having a kid is a blessing there are things we just need to use our common sense on. Unless you want to think yourself to stupor on how to feed both yourself and family. But then if you’re man and his striving to get better by the day keep on grinding, cause the sun gonna shine on everything you do.

[so98nn]

Well, what to say about the children, they are getting very aggressive in terms of their wants and needs. I am using the word aggressive because the level with which they ask for it is always tempting. As a parent, you can not deny them and can't scold them which makes it far more difficult to manage the expenses made on them. These days every high school and school has canteens, tempting foods, educational system that has high requirements for daily activities.

Up bringing kids is costly and the way we earn is becoming irrelevant to our lifestyles too. After working for extra hours one can not get enough money to sustain. The salaries are competitive which makes it sophisticated to choose between the type of life we want. It's like more self-dependency rather than quick services that are bought outright.

With single head increasing in the house things start to escalate more and more in terms of expenses. So yep, think many times before making it work.

[Dewi Aries]

The thing is ..... most men are thinking with their little head.. when the hormones are raging. They go blindly into a marriage without any thought of the financial consequences. They even start with a family, before they are able to support it.

Those kinds of marriages are doomed to fail, because the foundation are flawed from the start. The financial aspect of the marriage are just ONE of the several challenges that new couples have to face.... so they are starting with a marriage where there are many issues from the start and that might be too much for many young people.

Of course, such people do not take into consideration from various sides from the start, I think they are too focused on their lusts so desperate to carry out a marriage that is not based on careful preparation in any case, especially financially.

Honestly, I see that it is not uncommon for some young people to get married at an age that is too early and below the average in general, seeing from that alone we can actually see and judge that in terms of personal and mental readiness, it is actually still not qualified for people who are still around 20 years old because their mindset is still fairly immature, And also clearly in terms of finance if they are born from ordinary people (not one of the rich families) then I think it is unlikely for them to have enough finances to support their small family later, so it is not uncommon and even very often some couples who end up failing or divorcing at the age of marriage that is not too long due to finances that do not meet all needs. Love is important for a strong bond but money is equally important for a decent life.

[Dunamisx]

Most women would probably want to make sure their family's financial future is secure by finding a guy with a better job. But in real life, marriage doesn't seem as easy as we think (I can't say for sure since I'm not married yet). To truly have a harmonious situation, at least every guy should be able to choose a wife who is obedient and capable of having one mindset in a marriage.!

The challenge is not by how it all started well, but how we were being able to maintain our standard of living and sustain the source of income as well, I've seen rich people turning poor and the poor ones becoming rich, everything have to depend on what we give in for it.

Money becomes super important because nobody wants to live in poverty. Some families choose a simple life with happy hearts, but in reality, it's the implementation of living standards that becomes the issue. Anyone who focuses on other people's living standards will never be satisfied and will always feel lacking compared to what others have.

There's no food for a lazy man, if we must choose w particular way of how we live our lives, it must be under the full consideration of what we earn and the type of class that we belong, we cannot manage to leave beyond the capacity of what we earn.

[tjtonmoy]

Money changes people. Doesn't matter how you take it, in some ways it always changes people. It is the reality. You may lose your own self in order to make money. Don't push it too hard because eventually you will find success. When you are faced with responsibility, you will find a way to make money. That's how it works you need some sort of reason to make money. Maybe you are making a good amount of money for yourself but when you are required to do it for more people you tend to find more opportunities for making money. I think marriage is a good example for that.

You can make thousands of dollars in a month which is sufficient for yourself but when it comes to take someone else's responsibility you will find other options to take that responsibility. It is a good thing to make a good amount of money before getting married but it could go either way. People are still coming out on top after getting married. It's all about responsibility in the end.

[jaberwock]

Yes from my experience I would say if you financially strong and have already set up different stream of income then you are safe as most of the problem arises due to financial difficulties but it may look like misunderstanding or due to lack of mutual respect but if one start doing root cause analysis then they would find money to be the reason for the issue. We have made everything so difficult now and we need more money to show off and impress others as we have set expectation bar so high that we ended up compromising on our basic necessities and unfortunately I am going through that. 

There are still other problems that can come to us, other than the ones that you have said there. But again if we are financially prepared, we can recover easily. The only thing is, it's not easy to have that kind of status, and up until now many people still don't have a savings with them. So, we shouldn't blame and judge them easily. There are things that are simple but it's crazy on how we complicate them.

However or fortunately, not all things are like this. To have more money is not always good but it can also change your attitude, like the ones you said there that we will end up being to showy to others. This isn't worse though as acting that if you're rich when the truth is you are only poor and you end up compromising other important things.

[taufik123]

-snip-
However or fortunately, not all things are like this. To have more money is not always good but it can also change your attitude, like the ones you said there that we will end up being to showy to others. This isn't worse though as acting that if you're rich when the truth is you are only poor and you end up compromising other important things.

Having a lot of money suddenly not only changes a person's attitude, but makes his true nature appear.
Even this happened in my real life, where my friend who initially had nothing, could even be said to be poor then got the jackpot from the Airdrop and he became an impromptu rich man overnight.

But what happened, of course as you said he has now become more arrogant and likes to show off about his property and forget his comrades-in-arms.

Even though he was originally a poor man and didn't have as much property as he got now.
It is enough to regret when money changes the nature of a person and even forgets his friends.
He just concealed his true status and changed to a rich man according to himself.

[Wakate]

Money changes people. Doesn't matter how you take it, in some ways it always changes people. It is the reality. You may lose your own self in order to make money. Don't push it too hard because eventually you will find success. When you are faced with responsibility, you will find a way to make money. That's how it works you need some sort of reason to make money. Maybe you are making a good amount of money for yourself but when you are required to do it for more people you tend to find more opportunities for making money. I think marriage is a good example for that.

You can make thousands of dollars in a month which is sufficient for yourself but when it comes to take someone else's responsibility you will find other options to take that responsibility. It is a good thing to make a good amount of money before getting married but it could go either way. People are still coming out on top after getting married. It's all about responsibility in the end.

Taking other people's responsibilities is never easy because as we are calculating on how to take care of our bills we shall also be looking for ways to take care of others bills too. This is of a good mindset for us to continue taking the borden of others without any string attached. Family is a big responsibility and we need to make sure that we set a financial source for ourselves that would help us to make consistent money to take care of our bills. When we start making family with children, that is when we hurt to work more so that we can pay bill and take responsibility.