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Author Topic: Would you quit gambling for a friend?  (Read 1181 times)
Hanadawa
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February 11, 2024, 06:16:30 PM
 #61

This guy hasn't caused any trouble to his friends but it's a worrying situation to see him waste most of his salary every month... -snip-
You are right but such a situation will destroy his life and his friends slowly. I'm guessing your friend isn't married because you haven't told him about his family at all. But I can say that over time he will become more and more broken and it will impact his relationships with his close relatives and people around him.

I'm worried that he has started trying to get into debt to gamble. You may not mention it here because he hasn't done that but one of the bad effects of gambling addiction is that you will become addicted to debt. What would you do if he tried to owe you money?











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uneng
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February 11, 2024, 06:23:51 PM
 #62

Would you do the same for a friend? Me personally I think I would have just confronted such a friend and told them to seek help instead of me altering my lifestyle for his benefit. If they didn't seek help to the point that it was affecting me I would've just stopped hanging out with them silently I think. A friend would've had to be a real good one to make an exception at least.
I would do the same while on his presence. I wouldn't gamble in front of him or talk about my gambling activity anymore to him, because it could work as an encouragement for him to continue gambling, so I would try avoiding this kind of subjects when talking to him. Instead of that, we could talk about another matters and practices which can be potentially good for him to forget gambling and engage himself in more healthy habits, due to his current addiction.

However, my life would continue in the same way when away from this friend. There is no reason to stop gambling because you have an addicted gambler friend. It doesn't mean you are also going to become an addicted one. You just have to be careful with your bets and watch yourself to analyze if you are playing in a responsible and reasonable way.

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February 11, 2024, 06:24:39 PM
 #63

This guy hasn't caused any trouble to his friends but it's a worrying situation to see him waste most of his salary every month... -snip-
You are right but such a situation will destroy his life and his friends slowly. I'm guessing your friend isn't married because you haven't told him about his family at all. But I can say that over time he will become more and more broken and it will impact his relationships with his close relatives and people around him.

I'm worried that he has started trying to get into debt to gamble. You may not mention it here because he hasn't done that but one of the bad effects of gambling addiction is that you will become addicted to debt. What would you do if he tried to owe you money?
Tricky question but it should be a no, and if he insisted or threat you like your friendship is on the line, then things would be wrong on a different level. Your task as a friend, although it is not required, is to guide him/her to better life decisions but still, it depends on the individual whether he would follow your suggestions and advices 'coz we cannot for them anyway. Even if he becomes mad, let him be than to be a part of his potential addiction. And if that's the case, try consulting his family about it and convince them to have your friend be checked by professionals for the betterment of his situation.

But going back to the main question, will he really stop if you won't gamble? 'coz if he's really into gambling, he would still do so  Your act of stopping, will just lessen the engagement but won't guarantee that his friend would do the same thing on times he's just alone. If he's already at that point that he goes that much with his bets, then he's basically problematic of it. Try talking to him in private and make him aware of things if he's not yet. But again, it will depend on him.

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February 11, 2024, 06:30:42 PM
 #64

Would you do the same for a friend?
There are things we can do for friendship especially for childhood friends as it will be sympathetic seeing such a friend going astray due to gambling addiction and you do nothing of much effort to support him out of it. We are friends for a reason and maybe a little form of encouragement and sacrifice could go a long way in bringing him back on track.

Me personally I think I would have just confronted such a friend and told them to seek help instead of me altering my lifestyle for his benefit. If they didn't seek help to the point that it was affecting me I would've just stopped hanging out with them silently I think.
.
There are people that can't on their own help themself and what they just need to get off from whatever problem they are struggling from is just a form of  helpful closure from close associates like friends. A true friend won't stop hanging around you just because of your problem you're struggling with, like how do you define that to me that you're only going to hang around with me only when am in a positive situations.

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February 11, 2024, 06:34:50 PM
 #65

This guy hasn't caused any trouble to his friends but it's a worrying situation to see him waste most of his salary every month... -snip-
You are right but such a situation will destroy his life and his friends slowly. I'm guessing your friend isn't married because you haven't told him about his family at all. But I can say that over time he will become more and more broken and it will impact his relationships with his close relatives and people around him.

I'm worried that he has started trying to get into debt to gamble. You may not mention it here because he hasn't done that but one of the bad effects of gambling addiction is that you will become addicted to debt. What would you do if he tried to owe you money?
Tricky question but it should be a no, and if he insisted or threat you like your friendship is on the line, then things would be wrong on a different level. Your task as a friend, although it is not required, is to guide him/her to better life decisions but still, it depends on the individual whether he would follow your suggestions and advices 'coz we cannot for them anyway. Even if he becomes mad, let him be than to be a part of his potential addiction. And if that's the case, try consulting his family about it and convince them to have your friend be checked by professionals for the betterment of his situation.

But going back to the main question, will he really stop if you won't gamble? 'coz if he's really into gambling, he would still do so  Your act of stopping, will just lessen the engagement but won't guarantee that his friend would do the same thing on times he's just alone. If he's already at that point that he goes that much with his bets, then he's basically problematic of it. Try talking to him in private and make him aware of things if he's not yet. But again, it will depend on him.

putting the friendship on the line seems like a gambler applying himself.
the friends are still vaguely responsible for this friend to have gotten into this mess. and because this guy is among the friends they play with in their weekend hobby, i think he is worth saving.

all the methods i think should still be tried on him and more tolerance to his behavior to give him the the chance. there is always a Barry in every group of friends. maybe even two Barrys.



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February 11, 2024, 06:45:04 PM
 #66

if it could work as solution yes of course. no doubts.
for a friend this and even more... but can it always work? any situation, any friend? Is this really the solution to adopt?
I'm skeptical that it will work in the long term but happy to be proven wrong.

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February 11, 2024, 06:55:12 PM
 #67

nevitably, situations like these are intricately difficult and fraught with. It can be distressing and unnerving to see someone close to you in such agony. The approach to this dilemma is contingent on many aspects such as one’s familiarity with the person, the level of intimacy between them, or personal values but it is also a subjective decision that is primarily dictated by one’s own choice.
Confronting your friends about their gambling addiction and urging them to consult an expert is a kind-hearted action. Taking the step of providing support and resources to friends for their issues can be seen as the beginning of helping them out of difficult circumstances.

If, however, your friend does not answer or refuses to get assistance, and you keep being influenced negatively by their behavior, setting a healthy boundary for yourself might be an option. This may involve less involvement with the friend or curtailing the amount of time spent together. Although taking action for your protection is never easy, it is often needed to keep balance in your life. But one should bear in mind that such things are not always so straightforward and simple; it can be a matter of time as well as introspection to make the right decision. Regardless of what you choose, providing support and empathy to a friend struggling with gambling addiction is an important step in helping them on their recovery journey.

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February 11, 2024, 06:59:36 PM
 #68

In my opinion, if you are addicted, it will be difficult to stop if you don't have self-awareness. stop gambling for a friend? in my opinion it doesn't make sense, unless you stop gambling for your own good, because we are the ones who do it, and we have to have good self-control so that there is no bad impact that can happen to other people, because the bad impact of gambling addiction can be It also has an impact on other people if we cannot control ourselves well.

If gambling really has an impact on our friends or other people, then we really have to stop because of course other people don't know anything about the gambling we do ourselves, but if it's a friend, they will definitely give their best, to advise us so we can stop. gambling is good because basically friends are supposed to remind each other of good things, a friend certainly doesn't want bad things to happen to other friends, therefore if there is friendship then they should remind each other.

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February 11, 2024, 07:06:34 PM
Merited by carlfebz2 (1)
 #69

So I heard a story of some acquaintances that in their friend group, some person really got addicted recently.
At first it was just fun and game, they would sit together and play some slots together in a big screen with some 10€ or so for as much as this would last them with small stake spins. And this is something they would do on big occasions. Only when together as a group and only for big days like birthday parties etc.

But the thing is, unbeknownst to them, one person in their friend group was really compulsive. So in the course of a few months, he became really addicted. He would spend much of his own money from his salary on slots and sports betting, eventually losing most of it regularly every month. Then on nearly every get together he would ask his friends to chip in so they can play slots this time in his account. Every time asking for more significant amounts too.

This guy hasn't caused any trouble to his friends but it's a worrying situation to see him waste most of his salary every month... So now the other guys were contemplating to quit their poker playing hobby because it was really affecting their friend negatively. And they had a somewhat regular get-together to play poker with very small stakes just for the fun of it. It's a petty that they might have to abandon their poker games but to them it's either that or abandoning their friend and worsening his compulsion.

Would you do the same for a friend? Me personally I think I would have just confronted such a friend and told them to seek help instead of me altering my lifestyle for his benefit. If they didn't seek help to the point that it was affecting me I would've just stopped hanging out with them silently I think. A friend would've had to be a real good one to make an exception at least.
As a friend then it would really be just that right to do so that you should really be that telling him about on the actions that he's been making on which it isnt really that viable anymore or something that do talks about not being right because on the time that you are already spending tons of money with gambling activity then this is a solid indication that you are already addicted or someone who do lose off control when it comes to spending.
It is really just that sad to see for someone who do really loses up their control and ended up on being addicted just because of too much greed and too much interest with gambling.If you do two who have been
having those kind of activity occasionally but he had decided to play on solo and you are tending to quit your gambling session then it wont really be totally  get rid into his addiction.
We do know on how it would really be ending up yet most of us wont really be tending to care on what are other people would be saying even if he's your friend.

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February 11, 2024, 07:16:01 PM
 #70

~~
As a friend then it would really be just that right to do so that you should really be that telling him about on the actions that he's been making on which it isnt really that viable anymore or something that do talks about not being right because on the time that you are already spending tons of money with gambling activity then this is a solid indication that you are already addicted or someone who do lose off control when it comes to spending.
It is really just that sad to see for someone who do really loses up their control and ended up on being addicted just because of too much greed and too much interest with gambling.If you do two who have been
having those kind of activity occasionally but he had decided to play on solo and you are tending to quit your gambling session then it wont really be totally  get rid into his addiction.
We do know on how it would really be ending up yet most of us wont really be tending to care on what are other people would be saying even if he's your friend.
As a friend then you would really be definitely be having those thoughts that you should be helping your friend but actually no one would be able to help him out but only himself
could do it. When a person do really gets addicted then there's no way that they would be hearing out someones advises even how close you would be on which it would really be something
that will really be just that ignored and they would really be continuing on what they are doing because they would really be sticking out into those interest that they do have in mind.
You would really be having those kind of thoughts that its none others business on how they should really be treating up those things.

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February 11, 2024, 07:37:27 PM
 #71

As a friend then you would really be definitely be having those thoughts that you should be helping your friend but actually no one would be able to help him out but only himself
could do it. When a person do really gets addicted then there's no way that they would be hearing out someones advises even how close you would be on which it would really be something
that will really be just that ignored and they would really be continuing on what they are doing because they would really be sticking out into those interest that they do have in mind.
You would really be having those kind of thoughts that its none others business on how they should really be treating up those things.
We are in control of ourselves and we cannot fully make the decision to stop gambling without consulting other people, including your close friends. I really like friends who care about providing positive motivation to improve their life and financial patterns for the better without the influence of gambling addiction. I have to give appreciation to friends who remind each other to set budget limits for gambling and they have made them aware that gambling is just entertainment so you must be vigilant to avoid becoming addicted to gambling again.
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February 11, 2024, 07:51:39 PM
 #72

Our obligation is to remind each other of friends who have started to stray and accompany them. Yes, occasionally having a fight so that the friend is aware is also not a problem. However, if subtle and rude efforts such as fighting still don't wake him up, I personally prefer to stay away from him and don't want to have anything to do with that person again.

At least we have tried, if it doesn't work then it is our decision not to change.
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February 11, 2024, 07:52:40 PM
 #73

So now the other guys were contemplating to quit their poker playing hobby because it was really affecting their friend negatively. And they had a somewhat regular get-together to play poker with very small stakes just for the fun of it. It's a petty that they might have to abandon their poker games but to them it's either that or abandoning their friend and worsening his compulsion.

Would you do the same for a friend?
I would do so for a real friend  who I know will do it for me.  it will be bad to abandon this friend with their addiction that you know will definitely lead them to depression which in bad cases can lead them to considering  suicide because of the debt they will accumulate along the way.

You all got into gambling together, it is thoughtful that you are all considering dropping gambling together to help your friend. I believe it is what friendship is all about, making sacrifices for each other.

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February 11, 2024, 08:05:44 PM
 #74

So I heard a story of some acquaintances that in their friend group, some person really got addicted recently.
At first it was just fun and game, they would sit together and play some slots together in a big screen with some 10€ or so for as much as this would last them with small stake spins. And this is something they would do on big occasions. Only when together as a group and only for big days like birthday parties etc.

But the thing is, unbeknownst to them, one person in their friend group was really compulsive. So in the course of a few months, he became really addicted. He would spend much of his own money from his salary on slots and sports betting, eventually losing most of it regularly every month. Then on nearly every get together he would ask his friends to chip in so they can play slots this time in his account. Every time asking for more significant amounts too.

This guy hasn't caused any trouble to his friends but it's a worrying situation to see him waste most of his salary every month... So now the other guys were contemplating to quit their poker playing hobby because it was really affecting their friend negatively. And they had a somewhat regular get-together to play poker with very small stakes just for the fun of it. It's a petty that they might have to abandon their poker games but to them it's either that or abandoning their friend and worsening his compulsion.

Would you do the same for a friend? Me personally I think I would have just confronted such a friend and told them to seek help instead of me altering my lifestyle for his benefit. If they didn't seek help to the point that it was affecting me I would've just stopped hanging out with them silently I think. A friend would've had to be a real good one to make an exception at least.

Frankly someone that starts going down that path sounds a bit like a leach that is not respecting their friends, if they are constantly asking to borrow money. It is one thing to waste your own cash on such pursuits, but when you run out - it's really time to evaluate your choices and stop if you're in such a dire situation. Why should a group of friends, who have their lives and finances in order, give up a fun activity because one person in the group has lost all sense of control, they should simply not get invited to this particular gathering any more. There are plenty of non-gambling related activities that you could do with them, which would probably help them break the cycle, without impacting on the rest of the group socializing like this.

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February 11, 2024, 08:20:32 PM
 #75

So now the other guys were contemplating to quit their poker playing hobby because it was really affecting their friend negatively. And they had a somewhat regular get-together to play poker with very small stakes just for the fun of it. It's a petty that they might have to abandon their poker games but to them it's either that or abandoning their friend and worsening his compulsion.

Would you do the same for a friend?
I would do so for a real friend  who I know will do it for me.  it will be bad to abandon this friend with their addiction that you know will definitely lead them to depression which in bad cases can lead them to considering  suicide because of the debt they will accumulate along the way.

You all got into gambling together, it is thoughtful that you are all considering dropping gambling together to help your friend. I believe it is what friendship is all about, making sacrifices for each other.

maybe not totally quitting but slowly reduce your gambling sessions. because if you totally stop the sessions, the tendency of going back again is always there. much better if your group will set the mood of your friend to stop his compulsions. find another group activity that you think all of you can enjoy, like camping/hiking, regular sports that you believe can alter your gambling activities.

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February 11, 2024, 08:41:15 PM
 #76

I'd do both of the things OP mentions, so I'd confront him and also stop meeting for a while, or I'd stop inviting him to the games. You definitely should do something when you know his condition is getting worse and you should also talk about it with the rest of your friends and come to a decision. I know similar behavior from gaming because there's often that one guy who if you decide to play a game together and start meeting for it every evening will get addicted and keep playing all day without you. Some people are just prone to this kind of compulsive behavior.
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February 11, 2024, 09:03:48 PM
 #77

It's simple: a true friend, when he sees that his friend is in trouble, will remind him, and if he continues and doesn't listen, he will talk to him again, remind him again, and tell him the bad effect it has on his friend, even if he is angry. The important thing is that you showed true concern and were a true friend.

Now, if the friend continues with such a vice, there is nothing we can do about it because it is their choice, although we feel sorry for our friend's condition when that happens to him. So, of course, that's the path he chose.

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February 11, 2024, 09:06:17 PM
 #78

Another story of addiction, but this time the context does not lead to gaining a few more lines of ideas...

Pay for a consultation with a specialist doctor or give him $100, that's enough as a friend.

What you do or don't do, doesn't have to be judged, I believe that in this life one has to be an example for their children and pride for their parents and you can even be a gambler.

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February 11, 2024, 09:07:54 PM
 #79

Friends can sacrifice for their friends, or should I just say that, a friend can sacrifice for a fellow friend, as long as the sacrifice is something he or she can afford to do, though it sometimes might be something difficult, all depends on how deep such friendship is, and how Strong the foundation is.

Personally, If I had a friend whom I spend time with gambling for fun, and I noticed that he or she through our gambling activities had become addicted, I do not mind myself quiting gambling for his or her sake, at least, for that main time, i might later on resume my gambling activities again on my own or still with him or her when he gets better and completely healed from his or her gambling addiction, but from then on, I will personally take it upon myself that we both follow precautions and rules that will ensure he or she never gets addicted to gambling again.

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DaNNy001
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February 11, 2024, 09:09:08 PM
 #80

This guy hasn't caused any trouble to his friends but it's a worrying situation to see him waste most of his salary every month... -snip-
You are right but such a situation will destroy his life and his friends slowly. I'm guessing your friend isn't married because you haven't told him about his family at all. But I can say that over time he will become more and more broken and it will impact his relationships with his close relatives and people around him.

I'm worried that he has started trying to get into debt to gamble. You may not mention it here because he hasn't done that but one of the bad effects of gambling addiction is that you will become addicted to debt. What would you do if he tried to owe you money?
What's there to do other than actually not borrow him the money when I know very well that all he is gonna do is use it for gambling. I think I would even called that as part of indirect encouragement because other than looking for ways that will help him out, you lend him money to gamble and like you said I hope he doesn't have any family because if he does then it will really be a sad story because I know very well that the entire family will be affected by such reckless ways of gambling.

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