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Author Topic: Our decision making is responsible for the outcomes in our ways  (Read 1239 times)
Stepstowealth
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March 06, 2024, 09:41:47 PM
 #21

"Had I know"
Do you know that even some people knew the outcome of their actions, it will not still discourage or stop them from doing what they have planned to do. The outcomes me of decision making does.not scare some decision makers so they can be very reckless with decision making at times. There is no decision that doesn't have an outcome, and as a decision maker, always consider the outcome of your decisions before you make up your mind about them.

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March 06, 2024, 09:44:34 PM
 #22

I don't know man, the reason for why I don't have this kind of attitude towards money is from the fact that I'm not earning enough from all of my income streams, even though I do my best at getting them all, I only have a limited time and energy in a day so there's not a lot that I can do about it even if I've got the skills, it's still problematic for me.

Regards to your friend issue, let him be, a person that's not asking to be saved won't ask to be saved, you feel me? They will ask for your opinion about how they spend their money when they feel like it, mind your own business and you can't really force everyone to think like you anyway, even if they're your friends. Just think of this as a delayed gratification when the time comes that their actions haunt them, that "I told you so" from you and "I should've listened to you" from him would be really satisfying, that is if you're still friends in the future.
You're right you don't have to live a flamboyant life that you can only afford in the moment knowing quite well that you don't have enough to continue your grooves. That's ridiculous to even have such good times as a memory at when you can't afford them again.
And so also, everyone can not think the same even though you walks together. In life sometimes we are just temporarily merged in the positions are could be because we're not fit in or matched together. Only little humours that's keeping us and a little itch could cut every connections off.
I think the Op has tried as much as he could Pointing the lapses of his friend right before him while he was ignorant to his doings. But Op I don't think your pulling back from him would be the best of it, verbally or otherwise you can still assist him or he's willing to be a change man but it he can't then take your leave and don't walk all long with people that can't align with you when you're trying to make some senses otherwise you'd be infected with the negative energies just you said earlier and moreso, @pinggoki has also said that "had I know" would be ringing like the sound track to him at when there's no way out for his rescue anymore.
Don't stress yourself out at Op

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March 06, 2024, 09:56:17 PM
 #23

Quote
I have talked to this guy on several occasions but he feels I am a pest disturbing his dear life.

People often get irritated when someone keep pushing his own idea even without the person's consent or asking for advice.  I got it you are concerned to your friend but your friend does not need your advice so giving him unsolicited idea will make him think that you really are a pest disturbing his dear life.

Quote
"Had I know" is now a national anthem to him.

Regret never happens in the beginning, it is always in the end after all the things done. I hope your friend learned a lesson or two from his extravagant spending. when he has the money.

I don't find his ignorance to be an excuse and I am thinking of disassociating from him before he gets me  affected with his negative possesed energies.

A very good friend indeed..., isn't now the time to show your concern?  Why avoid your friend now?


You could never control how other people spending their money, because that's their money, but I agree that your friend is bad person, the best thing is just stay way from that kind of friends.

Bad person (taking bad as being evil/wicked)?  Being extravagant does not mean being a bad person...  The guy might be remorseful because he does not give value to his money but that does not make a person bad.  So having no money and asking people for help makes the person bad now?


Quote
Maybe he keep doing those reckless spending because he think he got you and his other friends as safety net, by being away and refuse to loan him some money you could help him realize that what he had done is reckless and could give him inconvenience.

I do not think that he does that reckless spending because he has someone to support him, some people never think of their future and live by the moment.  Probably that is the kind of person @OP's is talking about.

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Some people make a good decision in some aspect and then make completely reckless decision in spending their money, probably because they come from poor parent that doesn't even have money to manage, thus they never learnt how to manage money. Then when they finally can get their own money they don't know how to use it wisely. But some of them would learn eventually.

And that does not make a person bad (evil)...
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March 06, 2024, 10:06:03 PM
 #24





You could never control how other people spending their money, because that's their money, but I agree that your friend is bad person, the best thing is just stay way from that kind of friends.

Bad person (taking bad as being evil/wicked)?  Being extravagant does not mean being a bad person...  The guy might be remorseful because he does not give value to his money but that does not make a person bad.  So having no money and asking people for help makes the person bad now?


Quote
Maybe he keep doing those reckless spending because he think he got you and his other friends as safety net, by being away and refuse to loan him some money you could help him realize that what he had done is reckless and could give him inconvenience.

I do not think that he does that reckless spending because he has someone to support him, some people never think of their future and live by the moment.  Probably that is the kind of person @OP's is talking about.

Quote
Some people make a good decision in some aspect and then make completely reckless decision in spending their money, probably because they come from poor parent that doesn't even have money to manage, thus they never learnt how to manage money. Then when they finally can get their own money they don't know how to use it wisely. But some of them would learn eventually.

And that does not make a person bad (evil)...

He live an extravagant live but he bothers his friend by borrowing his friend's money, he doesn't consider that his friend also need the money. If he want to live an extravagant live, then he should earn enough money so he doesn't give bad financial influence to his friend by asking to borrow money, I didn't mean he is like evil, he just a bad friend, that is just bad enough for me to stay way from that kind of friend. At least by staying away from him I wouldn't need to loan him some money, and by not loaning him some money he might be able to reconsider his spending because he can't no longer borrow money from me, he might find someone else, but then that's other people problem and decision.

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March 06, 2024, 10:14:45 PM
 #25

The biggest enemy is the ego within us, and this cannot be eliminated within us, but we can control it well. Where sometimes we do things beyond our capabilities and limits, just to satisfy momentary desires and just to show that we look capable. We go on holiday just to breathe fresh air and relieve fatigue and stress, as well as to brag to others that we are on holiday and shopping in a special place, but when we get home we are stressed again because we have run out of money, and what's worse is that we have to take out a loan to be able to continue living. This is what often happens to some people who are unable to manage their finances well.

Therefore, keep trying to find out how we can manage our finances well, because today we have to live and tomorrow we have to live, today we have needs and so will tomorrow, all of which we have to fulfill. Try to control your ego and desires well, don't want to appear capable of being accepted by the public. Because when we are able to manage our finances well, and reach the peak of having financial freedom. So without the need for us to show and brag about what we have to other people, people will know that we not only look capable, but are really capable.

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March 06, 2024, 10:36:33 PM
 #26

"Had I know"
Do you know that even some people knew the outcome of their actions, it will not still discourage or stop them from doing what they have planned to do. The outcomes me of decision making does.not scare some decision makers so they can be very reckless with decision making at times. There is no decision that doesn't have an outcome, and as a decision maker, always consider the outcome of your decisions before you make up your mind about them.
That phrase "Had I know" is like the phrase I know,which means "the regret is in the end," meaning no one can ever know the outcome of their decision or action, so they will realise and regret it after the result, and that is normal. What I mean is that people tend to consider less what's the possible outcome of their decision or action; it can't be helped. We are just humans who make mistakes all the time. The important thing is, how will you cope with that mistake? Will you let that affect you? The important part is how you will do next after that realisation. As they said, we can't do anything about what happens; focus on what is present and not let yourself get stuck with what happens, which hinders you from moving forward. Everything happens for a reason as they said so expect a greater return of you will do your part.

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March 07, 2024, 04:40:34 AM
 #27

I like the emphasis on individual responsibility, moving away from the victim mentality that we are so often sold today. Leaving aside the specific case, in life we will do much better if we believe that life is largely in our hands, that it will be mostly the result of our decisions, than if we believe that we are a victim of circumstances before which we can do nothing. For me in particular, since I've been moving away from the victim mentality and adopting the responsibility mentality, I've been doing much better.

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March 07, 2024, 05:14:15 AM
 #28

That's life, sometimes someone needs to be taught a lesson to know that what they are doing is wrong and the person who doesn't accept our advice from the start doesn't need us to help anymore, because it has been their life choice from the start not to accept help from us.
This can also be a lesson for us in the future about how wisely we can manage our income and how we spend it. If we don't need a new bag, it's best not to buy it, or if we can still ride a motorbike, it's best to just use it, no need to buy a car. Because nowadays it is increasingly difficult and unpredictable, and we have to be able to manage our finances so that we don't get stuck in the mud due to our wasteful behavior.

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March 07, 2024, 05:34:34 AM
 #29


A friend of mine goes wild at me whenever I talk to him about his reckless spendings, he ask me what would be  accounted of his money if not enjoyments?
This is a kind of guy that feels relaxed when he has an attractive amount of money in his bank account and then feels he is only supposed to go after making more money only when he is running out from the one already accumulated and spent.
The money we strive for when made it's actually meant to be enjoyed but even as that it should be spent prudently and in a manner frugal enough to show we have value for our money and not to be spent extravagantly on luxuries. It is in the attitude of people that lacks the value for money to spend it anyhow immediately it enters their purse only to come to a realization when it's getting to the bottom.

Op, if am to advise you I'll say you just ignore him right away, at least you have played the role of a good friend by scolding him about his money spending attitude and since his reaction is usually attacking to you about your advise then you should mind your business and go your way mind your own business. It is his money you can't decide for him how to spend it but can only advise so no need of getting angry he didn't accept your advise.

 However, if he squanders while you build with yours and tomorrow comes that he comes to your for financial help I'll say ignore his plea for help so he can deeply feel the consequences of his actions, that next time you or anyone else renders him a free financial advise he won't hesitate to hold it to mind and make the best use of it for the future.

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March 07, 2024, 06:02:51 AM
 #30

Let's not forget that every person on this planet are on their own journey.

You might have one person hoarding wealth like Mr Scrooge and not enjoying life and then you get the exact opposite, with someone spending every cent they have, but travelling the world and collecting happy memories and experiences.

I try to have a balance between the two, by saving enough to secure my future... when I cannot work and when I will need those savings and also spending some money now ..on things I can still do while I am healthy enough to do it.

Find a balance and enjoy your life.  Wink

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March 07, 2024, 06:14:24 AM
 #31

The fact that people have the choice to choose those actions shows freedom, but there are issues surrounding life that cause disagreements. Just do what you want, evaluating everything around you only reflects a small part of our thinking and perspective on life. I don't complain much about someone's actions being right/wrong, as long as we are aware of our imperfections and choose to be satisfied/grateful for everything around us, even if it causes discomfort uncomfortable.

There were a few situations in the past that I faced when I tried to impose my personal thoughts on someone, and realized that they are not me, each person has their own life and experiences. We can see that the action is silly and help that person realize their mistake, but they haven't experienced it enough to be aware of it, so there's no need to argue harshly and just let things happen naturally.









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March 07, 2024, 07:59:41 AM
 #32

I think there are people like this who will always squandered all that they have before looking for ways to earn more money.
People like this don't understand the term 'save for a rainy day' because to them their enjoyment comes first.
The problem is there is no convincing such people, only life can teach them a lesson that's if they will ever learn.
You can only keep advising him as a friend but the rest is up to him to figure out.
There are still kiddie in some adult hoods, this isa guy @ 40 and he is still jingling around like he hasn't been exposed to the terms of how challenging life could be.
Indeed, there are people who are so relaxed with either the little or the huge one they have gathered and decides to chill, consum it til it depreciates to an obvious level of decrease and conciously, just because they don't want to run a zero % that aspirations alone urges them to go back and hustle once one and relax again and chill to spend up all that accumulated again and before their realization they are up to retirement age and would end up regretting all steps of their lives where "Had I know"  would never depart from their thoughts.

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March 07, 2024, 08:00:20 AM
 #33

Always spend with the future in mind.  Isn't it a bit shameful that you spend without calculating that you have enough money today and in the future your bank balance is all gone and you have to eat to get your hands on someone else?  I think it's a shame.  Everyone should take stock of this and keep the future in mind.  Life is not as simple as it seems.  Financial prosperity will keep your life normal.  Whenever you become financially strapped, you start to see the toxicity of life.  You should explain your friend well and ask him to understand life in the right way.

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March 07, 2024, 11:43:43 AM
 #34





You could never control how other people spending their money, because that's their money, but I agree that your friend is bad person, the best thing is just stay way from that kind of friends.

Bad person (taking bad as being evil/wicked)?  Being extravagant does not mean being a bad person...  The guy might be remorseful because he does not give value to his money but that does not make a person bad.  So having no money and asking people for help makes the person bad now?


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Maybe he keep doing those reckless spending because he think he got you and his other friends as safety net, by being away and refuse to loan him some money you could help him realize that what he had done is reckless and could give him inconvenience.

I do not think that he does that reckless spending because he has someone to support him, some people never think of their future and live by the moment.  Probably that is the kind of person @OP's is talking about.

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Some people make a good decision in some aspect and then make completely reckless decision in spending their money, probably because they come from poor parent that doesn't even have money to manage, thus they never learnt how to manage money. Then when they finally can get their own money they don't know how to use it wisely. But some of them would learn eventually.

And that does not make a person bad (evil)...

He live an extravagant live but he bothers his friend by borrowing his friend's money, he doesn't consider that his friend also need the money. If he want to live an extravagant live, then he should earn enough money so he doesn't give bad financial influence to his friend by asking to borrow money, I didn't mean he is like evil, he just a bad friend, that is just bad enough for me to stay way from that kind of friend. At least by staying away from him I wouldn't need to loan him some money, and by not loaning him some money he might be able to reconsider his spending because he can't no longer borrow money from me, he might find someone else, but then that's other people problem and decision.

If someone has an influence that is not good, it will not help us either. When a person is like this, it is not good to be friends as well, in my opinion, right? Instead of teaching good things or reminding the friend, they will be more influenced to do something bad.

This kind of person can't really be considered a good friend either. So we should also choose our friends because we are also the first to experience good benefits if we find good friends.



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March 07, 2024, 11:55:52 AM
 #35

The fact that people have the choice to choose those actions shows freedom, but there are issues surrounding life that cause disagreements. Just do what you want, evaluating everything around you only reflects a small part of our thinking and perspective on life. I don't complain much about someone's actions being right/wrong, as long as we are aware of our imperfections and choose to be satisfied/grateful for everything around us, even if it causes discomfort uncomfortable.

There were a few situations in the past that I faced when I tried to impose my personal thoughts on someone, and realized that they are not me, each person has their own life and experiences. We can see that the action is silly and help that person realize their mistake, but they haven't experienced it enough to be aware of it, so there's no need to argue harshly and just let things happen naturally.
There's no need to waste energy giving feedback to others if it's considered silly. I agree with you that it is better to focus on managing ourselves. Everyone has different dreams so every decision will be different too. If a person is serious about making his life better, he will definitely make the best decision for himself. But if someone close to you is down, then we also have to be sensitive and provide motivation so they can get back up.

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March 07, 2024, 12:36:52 PM
 #36

Governments of various countries do not want to recognize Bitcoin as their own currency.  They think that recognizing Bitcoin will reduce the use of their own currency and cause a great loss to their country.  Moreover, in underdeveloped and developing countries, if the government does not prohibit keeping black money account, it will be seen that these countries are so corrupt that the government will not be able to keep any account of black money and the corrupt will turn all the black money into white money.

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March 07, 2024, 01:15:19 PM
 #37

Isn't it that the word appropriate for this is “accountability”? It's his fault that he is doing what he can and you, trying to point out his making a problem is what a friend should do. You shouldn't tolerate what you think is not right because you are enabling them to still do it.

What kind of a friend would you be if you let it? Think about it.
Yeah even for me I don't personally tolerate such friend who acted like that though I might respect their decisions but I will surely not gonna stress myself for a problem not mine they should be thankful they have friends who care for them well yeah let them realize it themselves atleast we do our part. Been in this situation so many times before but yeah it's easy to moveon and I just accept the fact that people come and go. 😁



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March 07, 2024, 01:25:33 PM
 #38

A friend of mine goes wild at me whenever I talk to him about his reckless spendings, he ask me what would be  accounted of his money if not enjoyments?
This is a kind of guy that feels relaxed when he has an attractive amount of money in his bank account and then feels he is only supposed to go after making more money only when he is running out from the one already accumulated and spent.

How on earth would someone give chasing after income holidays even when you do not have more than enough and not up to the age of retirement yet?
Sometimes in life you can't predict what will happen in the future, so therefore it  good when one have money and it comes steadily for one to try as much to invest into any good investment just incase if the money that is coming right now stops coming in the future on can hold to it for survival. This is for those that are receiving good amount of money that part of it can be invested.  Money  can never predicted expecially when you are working for something to get money as income but when money is well invested it is very sure that something big is at the corner to hold on in the future.

It is true that some people make this mistake and are carried away not having the mindset to invest money for the future.  I  know everyone cant do business but their is something every individual can do as investment to yield more money.

R


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March 07, 2024, 02:42:59 PM
 #39

Isn't it that the word appropriate for this is “accountability”? It's his fault that he is doing what he can and you, trying to point out his making a problem is what a friend should do. You shouldn't tolerate what you think is not right because you are enabling them to still do it.

What kind of a friend would you be if you let it? Think about it.
We're live in a world full of lies, if you didn't lie, you won't able to build relations with a lot people because when you show your true character, there are someone like you and someone don't like you. If you become a liar and try to do what they like, they will like you and you might be successful because you have more relations.

Most people don't like to get advice or limit with something that they likes.

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March 07, 2024, 03:10:52 PM
Last edit: March 07, 2024, 03:22:35 PM by Cryptomultiplier
 #40

Isn't it that the word appropriate for this is “accountability”? It's his fault that he is doing what he can and you, trying to point out his making a problem is what a friend should do. You shouldn't tolerate what you think is not right because you are enabling them to still do it.

What kind of a friend would you be if you let it? Think about it.
We're live in a world full of lies, if you didn't lie, you won't able to build relations with a lot people because when you show your true character, there are someone like you and someone don't like you. If you become a liar and try to do what they like, they will like you and you might be successful because you have more relations.

Most people don't like to get advice or limit with something that they likes.
It can be concluded that a persons true character is shown when they have money, lots of it.
Money is power as we can agree on and when someone who came from a very poor background or has lived in the streets, feeding from hand to mouth and without a place to call a home, happens to come into some of it in an amount they haven't seen before, it becomes intoxicating to them because they are now more than able to afford the things once craved for and worse is the fact that they become over protective of the wealth in that, no one, be it family or friends can make them or tell them what to do not.

It takes a disciplined person with principles and values to be able to properly manage wealth. That's why, not just education is important, but financial education, so that how to manage the wealth we have will come easy when making decisions that would impact our finances, directly or indirectly.

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