Just another gambling addict story.

[Gozie51]

He threatened his mother that he would kill himself if he didn't give it up.

I know of a practical story and experience of someone who actually borrowed money and when he couldn't pay back he killed himself. So his own case was that he didn't tell his relatives or threatened to kill himself rather the public got to know about what happened to him he was already gone, it was the few who were aware that revealed the reason he took his life. The unfortunate thing is that his family are very rich and would have paid back the money with ease without any financial burden for him to be alive. But the guy didn't want the stigma or shame.

So it is a story that is already not far from the public that gamblers borrow money and then they are not able to pay back, some are lucky that the family come to their rescue.

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[Stepstowealth]

So, just recently a piece of bad news came out to my wife that his brother ran away to the city because he made trouble in their home in the province.
I asked why and she said, it's all about borrowed money and stolen funds from the family.

This is not just once that happened so I really know the reason behind it and it's gambling.
I did understand it before because it's from his own pocket which he made from mango picking which is their business. But that business is seasonal and there will be times when there will be no funds coming in.

What he did: Borrowed 15,000 PHP from a neighbor which is his gambling opponent. Pawned the tricycle (trike) for 12,000 PHP. Stolen 13,000 PHP from the piggy bank of his nephew. And more hidden borrowed small amounts.

Who will pay? My wife (which means my money too) and his sister working in Italy.

What did he do so that his mother would give up where the hidden piggy bank of the nephew is was the unacceptable thing to me. He threatened his mother that he would kill himself if he didn't give it up.

That's when I told my wife that this is a gambling addiction and the brother should be rehabilitated once he goes back. He will just do it over and over again and we will be the ones shouldering all the problems.

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

The only solution to such problem involves a complex one and it is made of,first of all to go to the psychologist or the church or whatever entity who can motivate him to stay away from gambling,second he needs after talking to such entity to be convinced to go to a rehab center and stay there for more than a few months,he will have the urge to gamble as it is very difficult to by pass that but in there he will be isolated learning patience the hard way.Third it is the support of all of you,the family who need to stay near to him during his stay in the rehab center.When all these steps are made you can only pray to God and hope for the best.

Rehab is a very proper move to make because such habit needs to stop else he kills someone because they refuse to give him money to gamble.
The issue however is that gambling is a habit that has been formed, and while rehab will teach him how to abstain and think of other things, it won't enforce a new skill that would earn him money.
He should be taught a new interesting skill that is such to earn him good pay in the long run and I think if he ain't married, he should be. At least some sense of responsibility will teach him some valuable lessons.

[goaldigger]

As you trust your family with your finances and let them lend some money, make sure they are using it and spending it the right way or else they might ended up like this.

Don’t just give any money even if its your relatives, and if you really want to help better to transact it on your own so you can be sure that the money will go for its real purpose. There’s also a case like this in my local, and yeah you can’t trust anyone including your relatives. Don’t help them get addicted, help them to recover instead.

[Blitzboy]

Look, what you're facing with your family, its a tough situation. No question. Gambling addiction destroys lives. But folks, there's always a path forward. We need to tackle this head-on, just like I tackle the biggest deals. Rehab, thats the key. Addiction isnt easy - its a mental game as much as anything. Just like the best strategies in business, your family member needs a plan with the right support. Dont expect miracles, its tough work, but its the work that turns things around.

The money, thats gotta stop bleeding. Period. Think of your family like a business. You cant keep covering losses. Set boundaries, clear and firm. Everyone in your family needs to unite on this. Make it about consequences, make him see he's hurting the people around him. Find help in your community. Support groups, services...they exist. Its like using the best resources in a deal, its part of a smart strategy. Your family can overcome this, but its going to take a clear focus and teamwork.

[taufik123]

There needs to be a deterrent effect to solve acute addiction problems like this,
because if he has threatened to commit suicide, he is crazy enough because of gambling.

The right way is to do rehabilitation, but consciously he will not want to be rehabilitated.
Then it is necessary to carry out a forced pick-up and be taken to where he should be.

If it can't be commemorated, then strict action is needed, he also committed theft and embezzlement of his own family's money.
If I as a family cannot overcome problems like this, then there will be no peace for myself and my family.

[danherbias07]

The thing is, will the brother willing to go to rehab? I do agree that this is the last resort for this if ever he will surface again. And we don't want worst thing to happen to him, i.e. borrowed money from a long shark and then he didn't pay. Most of the time this crime syndicate will do everything to hurt the addict and his love one. So the trick maybe is once he floated that you and your wife, his sister will go somewhere is, and then you secretly goes to a rehab facilities and enter him. And as what others have said, he is really addicted that he threatens not just everyone around him, but himself. Wish you best luck and hopefully you will find a better solution before it's too late.

I am asking myself the same. Will he bother about the decision made by the whole family or will he just neglect it. IF he answer this pessimistically then I will have him arrested and I won't even care what my wife will say to me. He is dangerous and he will give more problems to us so I won't just let him get away with all the  troubles he had given.

I know, I may be doing the wrong decision and I know that I am hurting those who love him and that includes my wife, but this cannot happen again because he is also hurting those people who will shoulder all the problems. It hurts, I can feel it but it's abusive. Until now I am still convincing my wife that something should be done. I always wish this is just a dream.

[boty]

As you trust your family with your finances and let them lend some money, make sure they are using it and spending it the right way or else they might ended up like this.

Don’t just give any money even if its your relatives, and if you really want to help better to transact it on your own so you can be sure that the money will go for its real purpose. There’s also a case like this in my local, and yeah you can’t trust anyone including your relatives. Don’t help them get addicted, help them to recover instead.

If we want to help those who need financial assistance, of course we have to know that they will use the money for things that can be useful for themselves, because if we help them and it doesn't provide good benefits for them, of course this would be detrimental to us and those we help and it would be better if we asked them what they would do with the money we give them, but if they give the right reasons I don't think there's any harm in helping them because this will make them more OK, and if those who are addicted to gambling lend us money, of course it would be better if we directly gave them what they needed and didn't give them money, they could have used the money for gambling.

[angrybirdy]

The thing is, will the brother willing to go to rehab? I do agree that this is the last resort for this if ever he will surface again. And we don't want worst thing to happen to him, i.e. borrowed money from a long shark and then he didn't pay. Most of the time this crime syndicate will do everything to hurt the addict and his love one. So the trick maybe is once he floated that you and your wife, his sister will go somewhere is, and then you secretly goes to a rehab facilities and enter him. And as what others have said, he is really addicted that he threatens not just everyone around him, but himself. Wish you best luck and hopefully you will find a better solution before it's too late.

I am asking myself the same. Will he bother about the decision made by the whole family or will he just neglect it. IF he answer this pessimistically then I will have him arrested and I won't even care what my wife will say to me. He is dangerous and he will give more problems to us so I won't just let him get away with all the  troubles he had given.

I know, I may be doing the wrong decision and I know that I am hurting those who love him and that includes my wife, but this cannot happen again because he is also hurting those people who will shoulder all the problems. It hurts, I can feel it but it's abusive. Until now I am still convincing my wife that something should be done. I always wish this is just a dream.

maybe it will go through with proper pleading, just tell him that it is for his own good while there is still time to change, because in reality you and your wife and your whole family will be affected more if he continues to everything he does is wrong. If I were in your situation, I would also take my own actions even if our other relatives would get angry, but just be careful because you might be the one that your brother in law gets angry with. After all, you have no obligation for all the silly things he did, of course he is your close relative and there is no one to help him but your wife and the whole fam.

[moneystery]

what a loser this guy is. he got into debt just for gambling and then ran away from his responsibilities and delegated them to his sister. what a loser a man like this is, where he is not responsible for his own problems and does not understand how his sister's condition is. if i were you, then i would ask her to sever ties with her brother and ask the party he owes money to to pursue him directly. because people like this are very annoying, they don't get tired of the chaos they make and it is appropriate for them to learn a lesson from their actions.

[alani123]

Petty crime and theft over gsmbling is a really problematic situation and we should do everything in our power to help these people understand that what they are doing is not right and give them some standing to get back on their feet. Really what these people need is counseling and group support, but first to understand their mistake and realize the need to work on their own faults.

If people understand their fault as a problem gsmbler things can be fixed slwly, but their family needs to show understanding and flkeep up with such trouble sadly. I don't know what this person will do leaving his city but hopefully his guilt will lead to him fixing his issues.

[Aanuoluwatofunmi]

OP sorry to talk on this but it seems like one of the reasons why there are several deleted topics on the gambling section these days by the moderators are on this specific subject matter of discussion, whereby there are many threads on gambling addiction and this is becoming more alarming for them to be taking actions on such, i hope this as well does not end up on the off topic board, even though its a live story base on real time experience on what happened, but i still see it that talking more often about gambling addiction is getting too much, my opinion. 

[darkangel11]

What he did: Borrowed 15,000 PHP from a neighbor which is his gambling opponent. Pawned the tricycle (trike) for 12,000 PHP. Stolen 13,000 PHP from the piggy bank of his nephew. And more hidden borrowed small amounts.

Quite an entrepreneur. Borrowed money, sold stuff, stole a piggy bank. This reads like one of those police stories where a guy robs a house and all he gets out of it is a bottle of alcohol and a booze of cigs.
I know delinquents like him. My cousin's kid is similar. He used to go out to school every day, hide in the bushes and wait for his mother to leave for work, then come back home, drink, smoke and listen to music all day. She caught him and took away is keys, so one day he stole a bottle of vodka somewhere, broke the window to get into the house and got drunk in his own bed anyway.
What finally worked? She kicked him out of the house and after a few weeks of living with his girlfriend and doing nothing he had to find a job and be sober.
IMO you shouldn't pay his debts. The only way for him to learn is the hard way.

[junder]

I know of a practical story and experience of someone who actually borrowed money and when he couldn't pay back he killed himself. So his own case was that he didn't tell his relatives or threatened to kill himself rather the public got to know about what happened to him he was already gone, it was the few who were aware that revealed the reason he took his life. The unfortunate thing is that his family are very rich and would have paid back the money with ease without any financial burden for him to be alive. But the guy didn't want the stigma or shame.

So it is a story that is already not far from the public that gamblers borrow money and then they are not able to pay back, some are lucky that the family come to their rescue.

Yes, it's the same as the experience that I know of gambling addicts who are willing to borrow money from the bank just to gamble and they hope to win from the game, but unfortunately the game doesn't produce results or doesn't live up to their expectations. And maybe his curiosity was so high that he borrowed again and gambled again so that the nominal debt he owed the bank was very large, then at that time he was so confused about how to pay that he quarreled with his wife and family. Maybe the addict really hopes that he will win at gambling and be able to pay off the debt he owes, but gambling is just a bookie/admin's game because there is no history of a rich gambler except an admin. and the impact of that person was that he went crazy and was abandoned by his wife and children.

The impact for gambling addicts is very bad, it can result in mental disorders, the breakdown of households for those who are married, poor relationships between families, and suicide.

[Wiwo]

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

He said if his mother do not pay the money that he is going to kill himself. I think this is more than an addiction but the child is very wicked. His parent should try send him to rehabilitation center but I do not think this kind of children may want to listen. If he listens, that is the best thing to help him with. His parent should explain everything he did shared they got to the rehab center.

Sometimes such cases is not about gambling addictions alone,  the boy may be under the influence of some other things outside gambling and I the parent could look closer then they will see and discover what other substance that the boy could be exposed to and he is abusing them such as drugs  because drug mixed with gambling could be a heck in the ass.

Just so we know that the combination of drugs and gambling is really a bad one and could trigger even worst realities in the future if not checked because at this stage the child is already losing his mind since he threatened suicide already.

[famososMuertos]

I'm sorry for your story.

 It is difficult for me to have these types of stories on this board, a place where we cannot precisely do anything, it is reality.

Surely it is a catharsis for you to develop the topic here, but I even think it is O-T, since the answer is as simple as doing nothing, or doing a lot, that is, it is something within the family, your solution is in your hands, Right?

This "rare" in asking for help on a board where gambling is promoted.

You yourself support a casino, it's not ironic, you have to promulgate it not only with words but with actions, or at least spend the weekly campaign on the costs of medicine and therapy for him, if that's enough.

May the end of the story be positive for your entire family, these are my wishes.
^{Please, all the help that is requested as first-person players is always welcome, downsizes are normal, strategies, evaluating probabilities, and a great etcetera that happen as a player, but there are other things like OP that come into another field of analysis.}
 

[Marvelman]

Suicide Threats?  Seriously? Don't fall for that.  He's using emotional manipulation to get his way.  Call his bluff and let him face the consequences.  Maybe jail time will give him a different perspective on "rock bottom."

Your wife and her family are enablers, constantly cleaning up his mess.  He needs to understand there's no safety net anymore.  Let him reap what he sows.

[dothebeats]

All I can say is, send that person to a place wherein he doesn't know anybody and can't bother other people to borrow money. That way, he will try and make a living for himself and his gambling addiction. Idk if rehabilitation will help him in the Philippines because the stories I've heard from friends and family all say the same thing: rehab is ineffective and just intensifies the desire of the person to commit the same thing they're addicted on.

Try to be blunt on him and deprive him of any money. Don't give in to his threats as it's obvious that he's not going to do it anyway. Perhaps send him to jail due to the theft that happened. Give him a hard lesson and he'll learn soon.

[AmoreJaz]

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

He said if his mother do not pay the money that he is going to kill himself. I think this is more than an addiction but the child is very wicked. His parent should try send him to rehabilitation center but I do not think this kind of children may want to listen. If he listens, that is the best thing to help him with. His parent should explain everything he did shared they got to the rehab center.

Sometimes such cases is not about gambling addictions alone,  the boy may be under the influence of some other things outside gambling and I the parent could look closer then they will see and discover what other substance that the boy could be exposed to and he is abusing them such as drugs  because drug mixed with gambling could be a heck in the ass.

Just so we know that the combination of drugs and gambling is really a bad one and could trigger even worst realities in the future if not checked because at this stage the child is already losing his mind since he threatened suicide already.

Or find out the reasons why he is becoming addicted to gambling? Because in most cases, to treat someone else's gambling addiction, you need to understand them and learn the root cause of why they are into this activity. If you are just thinking of how to punish him because of what he did, you won't resolve the situation. He may really go back again and again to this addictive activity.

In my opinion, try these following activities that you think may alter his lifestyle -
> find his other passion - where do you think he is into? is he educated enough to understand what's going on with his life?
> look for sports that you believe he has an inclination of, and bring him to that sports, engage him
> learn who his friends are, knowing who he mingles with will give you insight why he is into this activity? try to introduce better companions
> try other outdoor activities - camping, hiking, going to the beach, road trip, traveling, etc
> maybe introduce yoga/meditation
> learn new skills he can devote his idle time into

[Casdinyard]

So, just recently a piece of bad news came out to my wife that his brother ran away to the city because he made trouble in their home in the province.
I asked why and she said, it's all about borrowed money and stolen funds from the family.

This is not just once that happened so I really know the reason behind it and it's gambling.
I did understand it before because it's from his own pocket which he made from mango picking which is their business. But that business is seasonal and there will be times when there will be no funds coming in.

What he did: Borrowed 15,000 PHP from a neighbor which is his gambling opponent. Pawned the tricycle (trike) for 12,000 PHP. Stolen 13,000 PHP from the piggy bank of his nephew. And more hidden borrowed small amounts.

Who will pay? My wife (which means my money too) and his sister working in Italy.

What did he do so that his mother would give up where the hidden piggy bank of the nephew is was the unacceptable thing to me. He threatened his mother that he would kill himself if he didn't give it up.

That's when I told my wife that this is a gambling addiction and the brother should be rehabilitated once he goes back. He will just do it over and over again and we will be the ones shouldering all the problems.

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

addicted or not he committed a crime, he should be punished for it by any means and he should know that once he gets back. The thing about some self-aware addicted gamblers is that they could weaponize their current state and reason out their atrocious acts not to their lack of control and discipline, but to the fact that they are addicted to gambling and they can't help it. For sure the court since we're living in the same country would rule out the possibilities of him getting rehabilitation and he'd probably find himself behind bars, which is also the reason why he's hiding from you guys right now, but he'll come back soon enough and when that happens, for the sake of you and your family's well being, have him arrested and be taken into custody.

This is pretty much how every gambler's story boils down when things go unchecked and the gambling addict remains in his erred ways. They find the opportunity to commit a crime to fund their vices and scratch the itch at the back of their heads, they do it, they get arrested, and they get rehabilitated.

[Fivestar4everMVP]

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

Op, are you certain that what is happening to your brother in-law is as a result of his addiction to gambling? Please don't just assume, but believe a thing with facts, because in such situations, it is absolutely wrong to assume.
Yes, the characteristics beinf displayed by him confirms as symptoms of a gambling addict, but people who are addicted to hard drugs also display exactly like this, creating same kind of problems or even more, for people around them.

I have personally witnessed several scenes a drug addicted was caught stealing money from another, and after been beaten to pop, he confesses that the money being stolen was to be used to by hard drugs, since he can't borrow from friends or people around because he is already oweing them all.

So, what am I saying in essence?, find out exactly what your brother in-law is suffering from, and don't jump into conclusions without confirmation of what his problem is, it could be that he is addicted to gambling just as you have assumed, but it also could be that he has addicted to hard drugs, though for some people, hard drugs and gambling usually do go hand in hand, but find out what his real problem is, so you guys can know exactly what the best form of medication for him would be.