Just another gambling addict story.

[danherbias07]

So, just recently a piece of bad news came out to my wife that his brother ran away to the city because he made trouble in their home in the province.
I asked why and she said, it's all about borrowed money and stolen funds from the family.

This is not just once that happened so I really know the reason behind it and it's gambling.
I did understand it before because it's from his own pocket which he made from mango picking which is their business. But that business is seasonal and there will be times when there will be no funds coming in.

What he did: Borrowed 15,000 PHP from a neighbor which is his gambling opponent. Pawned the tricycle (trike) for 12,000 PHP. Stolen 13,000 PHP from the piggy bank of his nephew. And more hidden borrowed small amounts.

Who will pay? My wife (which means my money too) and his sister working in Italy.

What did he do so that his mother would give up where the hidden piggy bank of the nephew is was the unacceptable thing to me. He threatened his mother that he would kill himself if he didn't give it up.

That's when I told my wife that this is a gambling addiction and the brother should be rehabilitated once he goes back. He will just do it over and over again and we will be the ones shouldering all the problems.

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

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[Ultegra134]

I'm sorry for your loss, however, what's your point here? I know what you'll say, to share our experiences and yada yada yada. There are whole threads devoted to gambling addict stories and how they or someone close to them messed up, why does your story require a dedicated thread by itself? On top of that, what kind of replies are you expecting here, to say that they're sorry? I don't think anyone actually is, but at least it adds up to their quota, right?!? Or possibly a pat in the back and say that all is okay? What kind of solution are you anticipating? You know the answer yourself, and it's a widely discussed topic that doesn't need its dedicated thread.

I understand that you want to "share" but some things and some details are beyond sharing with a bunch of strangers on a Bitcoin forum; you're a legendary member, you should know better. Your "wife's brother" if that's even a true story, needs professional assistance and to be held responsible for his actions, he's a thief and a manipulator. Providing that it's true, such sensitive information requires a place where serious discussions take place, while I personally wouldn't share such details with the public.

[blckhawk]

Sad news overall but I think more than rehabilitation, that person needs to be punished for his crimes, there's no way that someone would just repent because you've forgiven them and you gave them a chance, that moment is the opportunity that most of these addicts look for to know that they can just walk all over you and do what they do all over again because you know that you'll forgive them, this is especially devastating to that nephew because they've done all he can to save that money and suddenly it's going to get stolen. I hink that your situation, there needs to be some involvement of litigation, rehabilitation won't work if the person doesn't have the will to be rehabilitated.

[Julien_Olynpic]

There is gambling addiction, infantilism, and theft. Moreover, by stealing from relatives, he apparently believed that he would have a more lenient punishment. Here, of course, it is true that the stolen money must be returned, the crime committed must be punished, and apparently you will have to stop communicating with your brother. Rehabilitation is, of course, good, but if it costs a lot, then who should pay for it? This is usually paid for by the parents of the gaming addict or sometimes by the addict himself. But if neither he nor his parents have money for this, then the person himself must realize the depth of the problem. Usually life makes a person sooner or later realize the harmfulness of a habit. After all, sooner or later a person runs out of funds and he is forced to think about what he is doing. It is impossible to leave a person without punishment. After all, in essence, punishment is part of rehabilitation

[Oshosondy]

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

He said if his mother do not pay the money that he is going to kill himself. I think this is more than an addiction but the child is very wicked. His parent should try send him to rehabilitation center but I do not think this kind of children may want to listen. If he listens, that is the best thing to help him with. His parent should explain everything he did shared they got to the rehab center.

[Davidvictorson]

He said if his mother do not pay the money that he is going to kill himself. I think this is more than an addiction but the child is very wicked. His parent should try send him to rehabilitation center but I do not think this kind of children may want to listen. If he listens, that is the best thing to help him with. His parent should explain everything he did shared they got to the rehab center.

I am sorry to say this but the kid is probably a spoiled brat whose tool of manipulation and emotional blackmail has worked on his mother many things and he doesn't fail to use it when things aren't working his way. The kid isn't going to kill himself because he's not depressed or anything. His parents should be firm in handling him. Rehabilitation may be effective but what his parents can't afford the payment. I'd say send him to some military boot camp or something. Somewhere where his behavior can be modified.

[un_rank]

You already answered the question yourself. Sending him to a proper rehabilitation facility is the best approach to protect him from himself. Mental health challenges are not usually treated with severity in the grassroots setting leading to worsening of manageable situations. Families also have the fear of stigma of having a relative sent to a rehabilitation home.

It is worth noting that anyone can become addicted to anything with bad side effects, not entirely a gambling problem.

- Jay -

[HajiBagi]

This is why gambling is bad for unemployed people; things are really getting out of control. I'm sorry for your loss, but my advice in reading your story is to not even consider family matters. Instead, take the situation personally, make sure he pays for it, punish him, and teach him the value of hard work. These are the reasons why young men shouldn't develop a gambling addiction because once they've never played, they'll never feel good. I've seen a lot of people these days who would rather use their money to gamble rather than eat.

Gambling is meant to be fun, and for those who are capable of playing it, it is not required. As a young person, go out and work and earn money. I've been thinking about this a lot. Does gambling have the spirit of making people fall in love with it or people who played it the way they liked just to do it on their own? The thing that used to frighten me the most is that, once these young men become dependent on gambling, they have no choice but to find a different way to support themselves. Whether they succeed or fail, they don't care, but based on your account, the man demands discipline.

[angrybirdy]

So, just recently a piece of bad news came out to my wife that his brother ran away to the city because he made trouble in their home in the province.
I asked why and she said, it's all about borrowed money and stolen funds from the family.

This is not just once that happened so I really know the reason behind it and it's gambling.
I did understand it before because it's from his own pocket which he made from mango picking which is their business. But that business is seasonal and there will be times when there will be no funds coming in.

What he did: Borrowed 15,000 PHP from a neighbor which is his gambling opponent. Pawned the tricycle (trike) for 12,000 PHP. Stolen 13,000 PHP from the piggy bank of his nephew. And more hidden borrowed small amounts.

Who will pay? My wife (which means my money too) and his sister working in Italy.

What did he do so that his mother would give up where the hidden piggy bank of the nephew is was the unacceptable thing to me. He threatened his mother that he would kill himself if he didn't give it up.

That's when I told my wife that this is a gambling addiction and the brother should be rehabilitated once he goes back. He will just do it over and over again and we will be the ones shouldering all the problems.

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

That's sad and horrible news, Your brother in law is addicted to gambling, or maybe he is also under the influence of drugs, what sane person would threaten his own parents? it's quite dangerous because he might come back and hurt each of you. The only poor thing here are the family members  who were left behind because they are the ones who are suffering and will share the bills owed by your Brother in law. Actually, ya'll don't have to pay the debts because the debts are not in your name and there is no document stating that you are allowed to pay his debts, the better thing to do is to complain this incident and report your brother in law to have a record about his debts. The only way to stop him in doing gambling is a rehab because there are so many signs that He is confirmed a gambling addict.

[danherbias07]

I'm sorry for your loss, however, what's your point here? I know what you'll say, to share our experiences and yada yada yada. There are whole threads devoted to gambling addict stories and how they or someone close to them messed up, why does your story require a dedicated thread by itself? On top of that, what kind of replies are you expecting here, to say that they're sorry? I don't think anyone actually is, but at least it adds up to their quota, right?!? Or possibly a pat in the back and say that all is okay? What kind of solution are you anticipating? You know the answer yourself, and it's a widely discussed topic that doesn't need its dedicated thread.

I understand that you want to "share" but some things and some details are beyond sharing with a bunch of strangers on a Bitcoin forum; you're a legendary member, you should know better. Your "wife's brother" if that's even a true story, needs professional assistance and to be held responsible for his actions, he's a thief and a manipulator. Providing that it's true, such sensitive information requires a place where serious discussions take place, while I personally wouldn't share such details with the public.

What are you so mad about? It's a forum. Get a life bro.
It's asking if there's a better solution and not just rehabilitation. Maybe there's more that I don't know. And yes it is a true story. I am not a fiction writer who can make up such things. It's detailed, don't you see?
It's on you if you don't want to share, that's your problem, not mine.

Sad news overall but I think more than rehabilitation, that person needs to be punished for his crimes

That's the other thing that I am thinking but I know my wife's family won't agree with that. That's still their brother and their parents would not let it happen too.  Actually, I am the only one thinking about rehabilitation for him, the family is not even thinking about doing it.

He said if his mother do not pay the money that he is going to kill himself. I think this is more than an addiction but the child is very wicked. His parent should try send him to rehabilitation center but I do not think this kind of children may want to listen. If he listens, that is the best thing to help him with. His parent should explain everything he did shared they got to the rehab center.

Yeah, lack of respect. To threaten your mother like that. That's why I said it's unacceptable to me because there's a big tradition in this country about respecting our parents and not talking like that.

I am sorry to say this but the kid is probably a spoiled brat whose tool of manipulation and emotional blackmail has worked on his mother many things and he doesn't fail to use it when things aren't working his way. The kid isn't going to kill himself because he's not depressed or anything. His parents should be firm in handling him. Rehabilitation may be effective but what his parents can't afford the payment. I'd say send him to some military boot camp or something. Somewhere where his behavior can be modified.

Well, they don't really have a rich life in the province but I think he saw an opportunity and my wife thinks that because they helped him the first time that's why he repeated it because they are there to help again.
That's my one more point with these gambling addicts. We should not be the culprit to make them gamble excessively again. I think they should let him know that next time, help won't come.

Actually, ya'll don't have to pay the debts because the debts are not in your name and there is no document stating that you are allowed to pay his debts, the better thing to do is to complain this incident and report your brother in law to have a record about his debts. The only way to stop him in doing gambling is a rehab because there are so many signs that He is confirmed a gambling addict.

But there's a problem, that (tricycle) trike that he pawned is their transportation to go to the wet market, the hospital, and other places because they are too far from their house. So it needs to be paid back especially with the old parents getting sick a lot of times.

[Smartprofit]

There is gambling addiction, infantilism, and theft. Moreover, by stealing from relatives, he apparently believed that he would have a more lenient punishment. Here, of course, it is true that the stolen money must be returned, the crime committed must be punished, and apparently you will have to stop communicating with your brother. Rehabilitation is, of course, good, but if it costs a lot, then who should pay for it? This is usually paid for by the parents of the gaming addict or sometimes by the addict himself. But if neither he nor his parents have money for this, then the person himself must realize the depth of the problem. Usually life makes a person sooner or later realize the harmfulness of a habit. After all, sooner or later a person runs out of funds and he is forced to think about what he is doing. It is impossible to leave a person without punishment. After all, in essence, punishment is part of rehabilitation

Gambling addiction is very difficult to treat (unlike alcoholism and drug addiction). 
I know what I'm talking about, because I myself suffered from gambling addiction at one time. 
I managed to recover from gambling addiction, but to do this I used a very cunning psychological trick.  I decided to replace one psychological addiction with another psychological addiction.  To do this, I stopped going to casinos, and started going to computer clubs and playing computer games - strategies.  From the point of view of game mechanics, computer strategies are more interesting than roulette.  Constantly concentrating on this circumstance, I gradually completely freed myself from the painful dependence on roulette.  At the same time, I fell in love with playing computer games, but I no longer developed a painful addiction to them. 
My cunning psychological trick worked and I was cured!

[OceanBit]

Sorry to hear about the challenges your family is facing rn because of your brother-in-law's gambling addiction. He should take the consequences of his actions. Rehabilitation is a good step to address his addiction and hoping he'll be rehabilitated soon. Rehabilitation is helpful for him to be enlightened of what he did and maybe encourage him to seek employment. Hoping that his family will work together, have open communication with him, support and will be able to convince him to participate in support groups or programs for individuals with gambling addiction that will help him recover.

[wxa7115]

What he did: Borrowed 15,000 PHP from a neighbor which is his gambling opponent. Pawned the tricycle (trike) for 12,000 PHP. Stolen 13,000 PHP from the piggy bank of his nephew. And more hidden borrowed small amounts.

Who will pay? My wife (which means my money too) and his sister working in Italy.

What did he do so that his mother would give up where the hidden piggy bank of the nephew is was the unacceptable thing to me. He threatened his mother that he would kill himself if he didn't give it up.

That's when I told my wife that this is a gambling addiction and the brother should be rehabilitated once he goes back. He will just do it over and over again and we will be the ones shouldering all the problems.

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

There is no other way around this problem than your brother in law accepting the responsibility for what he has done and look for help, but taking into account the behavior you describe, it does not seems as if he is ready to take that step.

Being that the case, this is where the family also has to take some painful decisions, if you pay his debts then since he is not suffering any repercussions for his misbehavior, this could cause him to do it again, and at some point you will need to wonder, how long are you willing to tolerate this situation before you call it quits and stop it?

[Samlucky O]

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

I must say it is difficult to  figure out a way to control such a person gambling addiction, Gambling addiction are of different criteria. I made a research and I have discovered the the types of gambling and the ways to stop gambling addiction the information below may be of help for you to identify the type of gambler he is and how to reduce his gambling addict though it might not be the best option but you may find it interesting to shear with such a person.
types of gambling and gambling addiction
how to stop gambling addiction

[bitbollo]

the best solution is to make him realize the mistake he made and make him decide that he wants to change his life and understand where the mistakes lie.
external help is never decisive. it all depends on your own inner strength and that's what really helps you find solutions.
monitors online services related to compulsive gambling its plenty of basic service and info on how to manage these kind of issues.

[EarnOnVictor]

-snip-
Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

Thankfully, you are a member of this forum who visits the gambling section often, and this could have helped you to easily know the issues. The good part is that you've already known the issue, unlike others, so the problem now is half-solved if they cooperate with your advice. You may go with the advice to rehab him, and of course, no other solution unless he is wise enough to fight by himself within, but without the Willpower, this will fail. I hope everything works well with you guys.

However, I like to suggest the advice of finding a better job for this guy. The seasonal work may get people frustrated. We all need regular money to take care of our regular needs. If the need is regular and the money is seasonal, this is not balanced at all, which leads to desperation like this. In my understanding, this is the main source of the issue if I read you correctly, so "nipping it in the bud" will go a long way in helping this guy. At least, something beneficial financially will get him occupied.

[pinggoki]

the best solution is to make him realize the mistake he made and make him decide that he wants to change his life and understand where the mistakes lie.
external help is never decisive. it all depends on your own inner strength and that's what really helps you find solutions.
monitors online services related to compulsive gambling its plenty of basic service and info on how to manage these kind of issues.

That stage of addiction, I'm sure that he's aware of that, no way you can be doing those mistakes and be ignorant about it, I just don't see it that way but you're right about the realization part though not because of the mistakes but because he's hurting his loved ones just to satisfy that addiction. Apparently this person doesn't have the inner strength to be able to fight the urge and not be consumed by the addiction that he's feeling, if he did have that, he wouldn't be stealing money from his nephew.

[TravelMug]

The thing is, will the brother willing to go to rehab? I do agree that this is the last resort for this if ever he will surface again. And we don't want worst thing to happen to him, i.e. borrowed money from a long shark and then he didn't pay. Most of the time this crime syndicate will do everything to hurt the addict and his love one. So the trick maybe is once he floated that you and your wife, his sister will go somewhere is, and then you secretly goes to a rehab facilities and enter him. And as what others have said, he is really addicted that he threatens not just everyone around him, but himself. Wish you best luck and hopefully you will find a better solution before it's too late.

[TopTort777]

For this is just another story that people have reckless approach to money. And I cant blame only that guy who get into troubles with gambling. Family is guilty also. He did not come up with idea of gambling, stealing, running away our of nowhere and all of sudden. That addiction he has was forming for years. Family should have noticed that earlier and do something about it.

Solution for this situation - isnt it to late to search for solution, but instead people should act radically now? Rehab, visiting specialists, made him find new hobby or work (which is better since he owe now alot), that will take all of his time.

[qwertyup23]

What he did: Borrowed 15,000 PHP from a neighbor which is his gambling opponent. Pawned the tricycle (trike) for 12,000 PHP. Stolen 13,000 PHP from the piggy bank of his nephew. And more hidden borrowed small amounts.

Who will pay? My wife (which means my money too) and his sister working in Italy.

You do not have the obligation to pay the loan of your neighbors unless you are the guarantor himself.

In the case of your brother, he is personally liable for the loans that he incurred. He should actually commit in paying the loan amounts in an installment basis so that he could relieve himself of that liability.

That's when I told my wife that this is a gambling addiction and the brother should be rehabilitated once he goes back. He will just do it over and over again and we will be the ones shouldering all the problems.

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

He will definitely do it again.

The fact that he even stole money from your nephew's piggy bank is just appalling. I honestly believe that he will refuse any form of therapy until he pays all of his loan obligations. If you really want to help your brother, then do your best to avoid exposing him in certain triggers that are associated with gambling.

For example, you can borrow his phone and try your best to exclude certain websites that may trigger a response to gambling. But in all honesty, your brother definitely needs professional help since he is already too deep in his addiction. He can definitely self-destruct in any minute and he would threaten against his life again.

[michellee]

I don't know what the real situation is. But you can try to talk to him honestly. Maybe he wants to tell you what really happened, including all the bad things he has done. He had to realize what he had done so he could see the impact.

It may be difficult to immediately take him to rehabilitation because he is not yet aware of the real problem he is facing. But by inviting him to talk privately, maybe he can tell the truth. He needs to understand what really happened.

But if he refuses to talk privately, it may be a little more difficult to get him to a rehabilitation centre. He must first be made aware of his bad gambling habits. Otherwise, he will just repeat the same pattern.

[mindrust]

This guy needs professional help. Possibly drugs to calm him down. Some drugs mess up your brain so badly you’ll become a smiling zombie or a sleeping cow. That may solve the problem. Other than that you may try to talk you out of it but that rarely succeeds. These people are often very stubbrn. They usually don’t admit any wrongdoing too. You need to be smarter than them if you want to break this cycle. Maybe even drug his meals without telling him. It is because these people won’t go to the doctor themselves unless they fuck up huge and even then it is not guaranteed.

[DiMarxist]

Op you confused me entirely both grammar and the story. The story has no meaning and no clear understanding. So now what are you trying to say here? He collected all those money for gambling? I don't think so because from your narrative you said after he has collected all the money, he was resting for sometimes and that shows that he is not a gambling addict because if a gambling addict got such amount then he would have flooded the gambling industry. Or is it that he use the money to pay gambling debt?
But if I will advise you what to do, it is better for you people not to give him money again and if it is possible proclaim in the community that nobody should give him money again and I think that can go die a long way to reduce his gambling habit if really he is an addict.

[Solosanz]

Why you and your wife need to pay off his loan? isn't when your wife already married with you, technically your wife and her brother are no longer in the same family. So it's illegal for his neighbor and nephew to force your wife to pay off their loans, you could report them to authority.

Honestly when the gambling addict is just my distant relatives, I won't care too much since I won't owe their loans.

[Mr. Magkaisa]

So, just recently a piece of bad news came out to my wife that his brother ran away to the city because he made trouble in their home in the province.
I asked why and she said, it's all about borrowed money and stolen funds from the family.

This is not just once that happened so I really know the reason behind it and it's gambling.
I did understand it before because it's from his own pocket which he made from mango picking which is their business. But that business is seasonal and there will be times when there will be no funds coming in.

What he did: Borrowed 15,000 PHP from a neighbor which is his gambling opponent. Pawned the tricycle (trike) for 12,000 PHP. Stolen 13,000 PHP from the piggy bank of his nephew. And more hidden borrowed small amounts.

Who will pay? My wife (which means my money too) and his sister working in Italy.

What did he do so that his mother would give up where the hidden piggy bank of the nephew is was the unacceptable thing to me. He threatened his mother that he would kill himself if he didn't give it up.

That's when I told my wife that this is a gambling addiction and the brother should be rehabilitated once he goes back. He will just do it over and over again and we will be the ones shouldering all the problems.

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

            -   I am sorry for such an incident in your family because a part of your family had such an incident just because of gambling addiction or vice. That's not good when the person becomes a vice and becomes an addict himself.

It's a bit unacceptable to me that your nephew's piggy bank was also taken; he didn't feel sorry for the child. I see only one remedy in that matter, and that is that he needs to be rehabilitated for a year, and at least in that case, there are high chances that he will realize that the things he did were wrong.

[Sandra_hakeem]

One of the hardest decisions to make would probably be taunting a close relation of yours for his crimes; yet, sparing his unrighteousness would mean serving him impeccable flowers for his flaws... So therefore "if a man goes against his bounds, he must be made to face the consequences of his actions regardless "..
Sometimes, people don't learn to quit a habit unless they're being squashed through an excruciating pain and frustration...Your brother in-law must not wreck your family!

[piebeyb]

I think you need to let him outside your house because if he still continues to live with you and your family of course he will never be able to change, he will repeat the same thing because you let him in a less firm way, you have to be firm in making the decision that you don't have to His brother lives with you and your wife in your house, let alone just playing until he really changes, besides, it would be difficult to send him to a rehabilitation center and I'm sure that way he won't be completely cured either.

Moreover, you and your wife will definitely spend more money to take him to the rehabilitation center, as you said, you don't seem to want to spend money to replace what he lost and don't want to continue to be harmed, especially by taking him to the rehabilitation center, you definitely need to spend money too. , for me maybe I will let him live out there and not allow him to come to my house until he is completely cured of his addiction. because gambling addiction is difficult to cure and takes time to heal itself, I think this is a bit harsh but firm to get your wife's brother to change and think more broadly to respect money that is not his. 

[decodx]

This is a tough situation. Rehab can help start the healing process, but clearly there are deeper issues at play.  The brother-in-law's actions suggest a troubling pattern of impulsive behavior and lack of conscience.  Stealing from a child to feed an addiction crosses serious ethical lines.  Perhaps legal authorities or family interventions need to set firm boundaries, requiring restitution and accountability and  addiction treatment alone may not fully address this individual's capacity for harm, so additional measures seem warranted to wake him up and protect vulnerable potential victims.  Tough love and real consequences could motivate real change.

[Hispo]

I am honestly sorry you are going to a situations like this one. When I first opened this thread and read this was going to be about an gambling addiction story, I never expected the OP of this thread to have anything to do with the person suffering from the addiction. 

I had heard about people addicted to gambling asking for loans and then avoiding to pay but it is a completely level of addiction and insanity to threaten to commit suicide if not being able to steal the saving of others, let alone if we are talking the savings one's family member who is closely related to them.
By the way, it would have been useful if you included the amount being stolen by your brother-in-law in United States Dollars because I personally do not have any idea how much that amount is without consulting some converting tools.

I sincerely hope you all can solve this issue as a family and you brother-in-law can be rehabilitated, this is the kind of conflict which could easily fracture a household beyond reparation. 

Is gambling rehabilitation free and of public access there in your country or is it private?

[gunhell16]

So, just recently a piece of bad news came out to my wife that his brother ran away to the city because he made trouble in their home in the province.
I asked why and she said, it's all about borrowed money and stolen funds from the family.

This is not just once that happened so I really know the reason behind it and it's gambling.
I did understand it before because it's from his own pocket which he made from mango picking which is their business. But that business is seasonal and there will be times when there will be no funds coming in.

What he did: Borrowed 15,000 PHP from a neighbor which is his gambling opponent. Pawned the tricycle (trike) for 12,000 PHP. Stolen 13,000 PHP from the piggy bank of his nephew. And more hidden borrowed small amounts.

Who will pay? My wife (which means my money too) and his sister working in Italy.

What did he do so that his mother would give up where the hidden piggy bank of the nephew is was the unacceptable thing to me. He threatened his mother that he would kill himself if he didn't give it up.

That's when I told my wife that this is a gambling addiction and the brother should be rehabilitated once he goes back. He will just do it over and over again and we will be the ones shouldering all the problems.

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

It's right, dude, if you think that it should be rehabilitated then go for your plan. When the situation is like that, it's not normal anymore if you look at it honestly, OP. Instead of the situation getting worse, maybe later it will be your possessions that can be sold or mortgaged, you don't know yet.

Imagine that he was able to get into debt in various ways, and it even led to the theft of money that other people had saved. So, it's not unlikely that he can do what I'm saying in the long run if he doesn't focus on it.

[Wapfika]

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

Philippines right? This kind of story is not new and there’s a case which the son use his parents house title as collateral for gambling worth million pesos that he loss all in a single night of gambling.

Rehabilitation is the best approach on this kind problem because people with addiction usually have the tendency to become violent so confronting them might cause a huge problem. You should not pay on all the loans that he acquire because he will just keep doing that once the loan is settled since he might come back again.

The guy is already away in hiding. It’s best to not accept him until he finally to go on a rehab.

[slapper]

People, this is horrible. The beast of gambling addiction kills lives financially and emotionally. Borrowing, pawning, stealing, and suicidal threats show your brother-in-law is struggling. Rehab is a terrific start, but only a start. Rebuilding trust is crucial. You and your wife must create clear rules with consequences. He must commit to improving before receiving financial aid

Giving him money without a plan feeds his addiction. Tough love period. Remove the financial aid till he changes. He must take responsibility for his actions, not just cease gaming. Prepare for his return. What support system will exist? Without direction, relapse is possible. Long-term fight, not fast fix. Prepare for hauling

[yahoo62278]

So, just recently a piece of bad news came out to my wife that his brother ran away to the city because he made trouble in their home in the province.
I asked why and she said, it's all about borrowed money and stolen funds from the family.

This is not just once that happened so I really know the reason behind it and it's gambling.
I did understand it before because it's from his own pocket which he made from mango picking which is their business. But that business is seasonal and there will be times when there will be no funds coming in.

What he did: Borrowed 15,000 PHP from a neighbor which is his gambling opponent. Pawned the tricycle (trike) for 12,000 PHP. Stolen 13,000 PHP from the piggy bank of his nephew. And more hidden borrowed small amounts.

Who will pay? My wife (which means my money too) and his sister working in Italy.

What did he do so that his mother would give up where the hidden piggy bank of the nephew is was the unacceptable thing to me. He threatened his mother that he would kill himself if he didn't give it up.

That's when I told my wife that this is a gambling addiction and the brother should be rehabilitated once he goes back. He will just do it over and over again and we will be the ones shouldering all the problems.

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

Well, I would let the guy go and hope he stays gone. Pretty cowardly of him to run away over less than $300. If small problems like that make him run off then what kind of life or marriage will he ever have? He will just run off everytime life gets hard. This is not a solution that leads to a happy ending.

Realistic solution would be you guys can choose to pay the debt for him and let his wife move in with you. When the guy decides to try to come home, don't let him. Tell him to stay away until he changes his ways. Then he has some decisions to make.

[Cryptoprincess101]

~ Snip ~

Very sad story, I tell people that the worst thing that can happen to anyone is being addicted to gambling or drugs because every efforts by your friends, families and other relatives to take you out of that situation will all prove abortive because even when you decide to quit due to advice and counsel that you have been given by people who truly care about you, a time will come when you will find yourself going back to those things again because addiction looks like something that is being mixed in the blood vessels such that it can never leave not matter how you try. I have seen a gambler empty everything in his house, sold his wife's dresses just to gamble even attempted to sell his house if not that his wife's family intervened the man would have been homeless so just like we keep advising ourselves here, never allow your gambling habits get to an uncontrollable state such that even when you don't want to continue, another part of you will advice you to continue.

[Assface16678]

Well, this kind of story is very common in gambling addict stories. Someone will steal money from either their parents or friends in order to continue gambling but end up losing it, and everything is messed up. The thing is, no matter what we do, we can't stop and control other people, even our family members. But will we surrender to helping them change or stop their addiction? If you know that he or she could cause trouble in your family, will you just abandon them instead of helping them? In sad reality, the answer is that most families will choose to abandon their family member who is addicted to gaming, even though we can't blame them because maybe that person caused too much trouble in the family. But if we just let them be themselves, then it might get worse. So choose or become more responsible for your family member just in case they are undergoing gambling addiction or any addiction.

[Baofeng]

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

The only solution here is to go to rehab, there is no amount of persuasion and talk to this person to change and make a U-turn. However, as you have said, he is now missing, but once he goes home again, then at least some family members will have to talk and some form of intervention.

But I don't know in our country, there could be a lot of rehabilitation facilities but it can cost money as well if you enter him. But at least that is the only way for him to stay away from gambling and maybe it will really help him a lot. There will be a lot of time for him to think it over while he was in the rehab.

[rachael9385]

Op you confused me entirely both grammar and the story. The story has no meaning and no clear understanding. So now what are you trying to say here? He collected all those money for gambling? I don't think so because from your narrative you said after he has collected all the money, he was resting for sometimes and that shows that he is not a gambling addict because if a gambling addict got such amount then he would have flooded the gambling industry. Or is it that he use the money to pay gambling debt?
But if I will advise you what to do, it is better for you people not to give him money again and if it is possible proclaim in the community that nobody should give him money again and I think that can go die a long way to reduce his gambling habit if really he is an addict.

Well I do understand what op is saying, someone who's related to his wife borrowed money from some people and he used the money to gamble and then still lose it, now he doesn't have money to pay back and he ran away, so he's wife will be the person who's going to pay back those money 13,000p.
However if someone that's related to me did something like this I wouldn't care to pay rather I will find the person and he will will pay by him self. Those people that are addicted to gamble always run away with people's money because they don't have money to pay back after losing the ones they borrowed from people. the reasons why I would not pay the money is because if I pay it will look like I am in support and next time he will collect more money and gamble because he has someone who's paying for him.

[Zigabel]

You have mentioned the problem and the possible solution OP, the guy in question needs help and proper rehabilitation so he can stop if not like you have rightly stated, he's going to continue to cause more harm and problem to the family and then he will end up making the family spend money on clearing debts which they shouldn't have ordinarily taken care of at this time and it might not stop any soon except the family takes the action of fixing the issues with that guy unless he's not going to change he will only take occasional breaks whenever the heat is much on him like this and then he will come back again and still become a problem to the family after every break interval.

A professional help either in rehabilitation centers or therapy would help him a lot but it's not cost free but then it will be worth every money that will be spent to put everything in place before he becomes so much of a menace to the family than he's already been and will cost the family even much more bigger expenses in the nearest future.

[khiholangkang]

So, just recently a piece of bad news came out to my wife that his brother ran away to the city because he made trouble in their home in the province.
I asked why and she said, it's all about borrowed money and stolen funds from the family.

This is not just once that happened so I really know the reason behind it and it's gambling.
I did understand it before because it's from his own pocket which he made from mango picking which is their business. But that business is seasonal and there will be times when there will be no funds coming in.

What he did: Borrowed 15,000 PHP from a neighbor which is his gambling opponent. Pawned the tricycle (trike) for 12,000 PHP. Stolen 13,000 PHP from the piggy bank of his nephew. And more hidden borrowed small amounts.

Who will pay? My wife (which means my money too) and his sister working in Italy.

What did he do so that his mother would give up where the hidden piggy bank of the nephew is was the unacceptable thing to me. He threatened his mother that he would kill himself if he didn't give it up.

That's when I told my wife that this is a gambling addiction and the brother should be rehabilitated once he goes back. He will just do it over and over again and we will be the ones shouldering all the problems.

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

It's important to gamble when you have income every month or every week to do gambling because logically if you are a gambler but don't have income it will be worse when addiction comes to us, it's very unfortunate for your wife's brother who did such a stupid act because he wanted to fulfill his gambling desires. It is not other than the thought that he can win the gambling and return the money to his opponent when he wins the gambling.
Investment alone needs cold funds to be able to invest healthily and safely, this is gambling taking capital from borrowed money, I think indeed the brother of your wife needs further rehabilitation because he has an impulsive addiction that will get worse if left further.

He will not be gone for a long time, I think he will also inform you in a month or two, because living outside is not as easy as he thinks especially if he does not have the ability it will be very difficult to survive.

[swogerino]

So, just recently a piece of bad news came out to my wife that his brother ran away to the city because he made trouble in their home in the province.
I asked why and she said, it's all about borrowed money and stolen funds from the family.

This is not just once that happened so I really know the reason behind it and it's gambling.
I did understand it before because it's from his own pocket which he made from mango picking which is their business. But that business is seasonal and there will be times when there will be no funds coming in.

What he did: Borrowed 15,000 PHP from a neighbor which is his gambling opponent. Pawned the tricycle (trike) for 12,000 PHP. Stolen 13,000 PHP from the piggy bank of his nephew. And more hidden borrowed small amounts.

Who will pay? My wife (which means my money too) and his sister working in Italy.

What did he do so that his mother would give up where the hidden piggy bank of the nephew is was the unacceptable thing to me. He threatened his mother that he would kill himself if he didn't give it up.

That's when I told my wife that this is a gambling addiction and the brother should be rehabilitated once he goes back. He will just do it over and over again and we will be the ones shouldering all the problems.

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

The only solution to such problem involves a complex one and it is made of,first of all to go to the psychologist or the church or whatever entity who can motivate him to stay away from gambling,second he needs after talking to such entity to be convinced to go to a rehab center and stay there for more than a few months,he will have the urge to gamble as it is very difficult to by pass that but in there he will be isolated learning patience the hard way.Third it is the support of all of you,the family who need to stay near to him during his stay in the rehab center.When all these steps are made you can only pray to God and hope for the best.

[Gozie51]

He threatened his mother that he would kill himself if he didn't give it up.

I know of a practical story and experience of someone who actually borrowed money and when he couldn't pay back he killed himself. So his own case was that he didn't tell his relatives or threatened to kill himself rather the public got to know about what happened to him he was already gone, it was the few who were aware that revealed the reason he took his life. The unfortunate thing is that his family are very rich and would have paid back the money with ease without any financial burden for him to be alive. But the guy didn't want the stigma or shame.

So it is a story that is already not far from the public that gamblers borrow money and then they are not able to pay back, some are lucky that the family come to their rescue.

[Stepstowealth]

So, just recently a piece of bad news came out to my wife that his brother ran away to the city because he made trouble in their home in the province.
I asked why and she said, it's all about borrowed money and stolen funds from the family.

This is not just once that happened so I really know the reason behind it and it's gambling.
I did understand it before because it's from his own pocket which he made from mango picking which is their business. But that business is seasonal and there will be times when there will be no funds coming in.

What he did: Borrowed 15,000 PHP from a neighbor which is his gambling opponent. Pawned the tricycle (trike) for 12,000 PHP. Stolen 13,000 PHP from the piggy bank of his nephew. And more hidden borrowed small amounts.

Who will pay? My wife (which means my money too) and his sister working in Italy.

What did he do so that his mother would give up where the hidden piggy bank of the nephew is was the unacceptable thing to me. He threatened his mother that he would kill himself if he didn't give it up.

That's when I told my wife that this is a gambling addiction and the brother should be rehabilitated once he goes back. He will just do it over and over again and we will be the ones shouldering all the problems.

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

The only solution to such problem involves a complex one and it is made of,first of all to go to the psychologist or the church or whatever entity who can motivate him to stay away from gambling,second he needs after talking to such entity to be convinced to go to a rehab center and stay there for more than a few months,he will have the urge to gamble as it is very difficult to by pass that but in there he will be isolated learning patience the hard way.Third it is the support of all of you,the family who need to stay near to him during his stay in the rehab center.When all these steps are made you can only pray to God and hope for the best.

Rehab is a very proper move to make because such habit needs to stop else he kills someone because they refuse to give him money to gamble.
The issue however is that gambling is a habit that has been formed, and while rehab will teach him how to abstain and think of other things, it won't enforce a new skill that would earn him money.
He should be taught a new interesting skill that is such to earn him good pay in the long run and I think if he ain't married, he should be. At least some sense of responsibility will teach him some valuable lessons.

[goaldigger]

As you trust your family with your finances and let them lend some money, make sure they are using it and spending it the right way or else they might ended up like this.

Don’t just give any money even if its your relatives, and if you really want to help better to transact it on your own so you can be sure that the money will go for its real purpose. There’s also a case like this in my local, and yeah you can’t trust anyone including your relatives. Don’t help them get addicted, help them to recover instead.

[Blitzboy]

Look, what you're facing with your family, its a tough situation. No question. Gambling addiction destroys lives. But folks, there's always a path forward. We need to tackle this head-on, just like I tackle the biggest deals. Rehab, thats the key. Addiction isnt easy - its a mental game as much as anything. Just like the best strategies in business, your family member needs a plan with the right support. Dont expect miracles, its tough work, but its the work that turns things around.

The money, thats gotta stop bleeding. Period. Think of your family like a business. You cant keep covering losses. Set boundaries, clear and firm. Everyone in your family needs to unite on this. Make it about consequences, make him see he's hurting the people around him. Find help in your community. Support groups, services...they exist. Its like using the best resources in a deal, its part of a smart strategy. Your family can overcome this, but its going to take a clear focus and teamwork.

[taufik123]

There needs to be a deterrent effect to solve acute addiction problems like this,
because if he has threatened to commit suicide, he is crazy enough because of gambling.

The right way is to do rehabilitation, but consciously he will not want to be rehabilitated.
Then it is necessary to carry out a forced pick-up and be taken to where he should be.

If it can't be commemorated, then strict action is needed, he also committed theft and embezzlement of his own family's money.
If I as a family cannot overcome problems like this, then there will be no peace for myself and my family.

[danherbias07]

The thing is, will the brother willing to go to rehab? I do agree that this is the last resort for this if ever he will surface again. And we don't want worst thing to happen to him, i.e. borrowed money from a long shark and then he didn't pay. Most of the time this crime syndicate will do everything to hurt the addict and his love one. So the trick maybe is once he floated that you and your wife, his sister will go somewhere is, and then you secretly goes to a rehab facilities and enter him. And as what others have said, he is really addicted that he threatens not just everyone around him, but himself. Wish you best luck and hopefully you will find a better solution before it's too late.

I am asking myself the same. Will he bother about the decision made by the whole family or will he just neglect it. IF he answer this pessimistically then I will have him arrested and I won't even care what my wife will say to me. He is dangerous and he will give more problems to us so I won't just let him get away with all the  troubles he had given.

I know, I may be doing the wrong decision and I know that I am hurting those who love him and that includes my wife, but this cannot happen again because he is also hurting those people who will shoulder all the problems. It hurts, I can feel it but it's abusive. Until now I am still convincing my wife that something should be done. I always wish this is just a dream.

[boty]

As you trust your family with your finances and let them lend some money, make sure they are using it and spending it the right way or else they might ended up like this.

Don’t just give any money even if its your relatives, and if you really want to help better to transact it on your own so you can be sure that the money will go for its real purpose. There’s also a case like this in my local, and yeah you can’t trust anyone including your relatives. Don’t help them get addicted, help them to recover instead.

If we want to help those who need financial assistance, of course we have to know that they will use the money for things that can be useful for themselves, because if we help them and it doesn't provide good benefits for them, of course this would be detrimental to us and those we help and it would be better if we asked them what they would do with the money we give them, but if they give the right reasons I don't think there's any harm in helping them because this will make them more OK, and if those who are addicted to gambling lend us money, of course it would be better if we directly gave them what they needed and didn't give them money, they could have used the money for gambling.

[angrybirdy]

The thing is, will the brother willing to go to rehab? I do agree that this is the last resort for this if ever he will surface again. And we don't want worst thing to happen to him, i.e. borrowed money from a long shark and then he didn't pay. Most of the time this crime syndicate will do everything to hurt the addict and his love one. So the trick maybe is once he floated that you and your wife, his sister will go somewhere is, and then you secretly goes to a rehab facilities and enter him. And as what others have said, he is really addicted that he threatens not just everyone around him, but himself. Wish you best luck and hopefully you will find a better solution before it's too late.

I am asking myself the same. Will he bother about the decision made by the whole family or will he just neglect it. IF he answer this pessimistically then I will have him arrested and I won't even care what my wife will say to me. He is dangerous and he will give more problems to us so I won't just let him get away with all the  troubles he had given.

I know, I may be doing the wrong decision and I know that I am hurting those who love him and that includes my wife, but this cannot happen again because he is also hurting those people who will shoulder all the problems. It hurts, I can feel it but it's abusive. Until now I am still convincing my wife that something should be done. I always wish this is just a dream.

maybe it will go through with proper pleading, just tell him that it is for his own good while there is still time to change, because in reality you and your wife and your whole family will be affected more if he continues to everything he does is wrong. If I were in your situation, I would also take my own actions even if our other relatives would get angry, but just be careful because you might be the one that your brother in law gets angry with. After all, you have no obligation for all the silly things he did, of course he is your close relative and there is no one to help him but your wife and the whole fam.

[moneystery]

what a loser this guy is. he got into debt just for gambling and then ran away from his responsibilities and delegated them to his sister. what a loser a man like this is, where he is not responsible for his own problems and does not understand how his sister's condition is. if i were you, then i would ask her to sever ties with her brother and ask the party he owes money to to pursue him directly. because people like this are very annoying, they don't get tired of the chaos they make and it is appropriate for them to learn a lesson from their actions.

[alani123]

Petty crime and theft over gsmbling is a really problematic situation and we should do everything in our power to help these people understand that what they are doing is not right and give them some standing to get back on their feet. Really what these people need is counseling and group support, but first to understand their mistake and realize the need to work on their own faults.

If people understand their fault as a problem gsmbler things can be fixed slwly, but their family needs to show understanding and flkeep up with such trouble sadly. I don't know what this person will do leaving his city but hopefully his guilt will lead to him fixing his issues.

[Aanuoluwatofunmi]

OP sorry to talk on this but it seems like one of the reasons why there are several deleted topics on the gambling section these days by the moderators are on this specific subject matter of discussion, whereby there are many threads on gambling addiction and this is becoming more alarming for them to be taking actions on such, i hope this as well does not end up on the off topic board, even though its a live story base on real time experience on what happened, but i still see it that talking more often about gambling addiction is getting too much, my opinion. 

[darkangel11]

What he did: Borrowed 15,000 PHP from a neighbor which is his gambling opponent. Pawned the tricycle (trike) for 12,000 PHP. Stolen 13,000 PHP from the piggy bank of his nephew. And more hidden borrowed small amounts.

Quite an entrepreneur. Borrowed money, sold stuff, stole a piggy bank. This reads like one of those police stories where a guy robs a house and all he gets out of it is a bottle of alcohol and a booze of cigs.
I know delinquents like him. My cousin's kid is similar. He used to go out to school every day, hide in the bushes and wait for his mother to leave for work, then come back home, drink, smoke and listen to music all day. She caught him and took away is keys, so one day he stole a bottle of vodka somewhere, broke the window to get into the house and got drunk in his own bed anyway.
What finally worked? She kicked him out of the house and after a few weeks of living with his girlfriend and doing nothing he had to find a job and be sober.
IMO you shouldn't pay his debts. The only way for him to learn is the hard way.

[junder]

I know of a practical story and experience of someone who actually borrowed money and when he couldn't pay back he killed himself. So his own case was that he didn't tell his relatives or threatened to kill himself rather the public got to know about what happened to him he was already gone, it was the few who were aware that revealed the reason he took his life. The unfortunate thing is that his family are very rich and would have paid back the money with ease without any financial burden for him to be alive. But the guy didn't want the stigma or shame.

So it is a story that is already not far from the public that gamblers borrow money and then they are not able to pay back, some are lucky that the family come to their rescue.

Yes, it's the same as the experience that I know of gambling addicts who are willing to borrow money from the bank just to gamble and they hope to win from the game, but unfortunately the game doesn't produce results or doesn't live up to their expectations. And maybe his curiosity was so high that he borrowed again and gambled again so that the nominal debt he owed the bank was very large, then at that time he was so confused about how to pay that he quarreled with his wife and family. Maybe the addict really hopes that he will win at gambling and be able to pay off the debt he owes, but gambling is just a bookie/admin's game because there is no history of a rich gambler except an admin. and the impact of that person was that he went crazy and was abandoned by his wife and children.

The impact for gambling addicts is very bad, it can result in mental disorders, the breakdown of households for those who are married, poor relationships between families, and suicide.

[Wiwo]

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

He said if his mother do not pay the money that he is going to kill himself. I think this is more than an addiction but the child is very wicked. His parent should try send him to rehabilitation center but I do not think this kind of children may want to listen. If he listens, that is the best thing to help him with. His parent should explain everything he did shared they got to the rehab center.

Sometimes such cases is not about gambling addictions alone,  the boy may be under the influence of some other things outside gambling and I the parent could look closer then they will see and discover what other substance that the boy could be exposed to and he is abusing them such as drugs  because drug mixed with gambling could be a heck in the ass.

Just so we know that the combination of drugs and gambling is really a bad one and could trigger even worst realities in the future if not checked because at this stage the child is already losing his mind since he threatened suicide already.

[famososMuertos]

I'm sorry for your story.

 It is difficult for me to have these types of stories on this board, a place where we cannot precisely do anything, it is reality.

Surely it is a catharsis for you to develop the topic here, but I even think it is O-T, since the answer is as simple as doing nothing, or doing a lot, that is, it is something within the family, your solution is in your hands, Right?

This "rare" in asking for help on a board where gambling is promoted.

You yourself support a casino, it's not ironic, you have to promulgate it not only with words but with actions, or at least spend the weekly campaign on the costs of medicine and therapy for him, if that's enough.

May the end of the story be positive for your entire family, these are my wishes.
^{Please, all the help that is requested as first-person players is always welcome, downsizes are normal, strategies, evaluating probabilities, and a great etcetera that happen as a player, but there are other things like OP that come into another field of analysis.}
 

[Marvelman]

Suicide Threats?  Seriously? Don't fall for that.  He's using emotional manipulation to get his way.  Call his bluff and let him face the consequences.  Maybe jail time will give him a different perspective on "rock bottom."

Your wife and her family are enablers, constantly cleaning up his mess.  He needs to understand there's no safety net anymore.  Let him reap what he sows.

[dothebeats]

All I can say is, send that person to a place wherein he doesn't know anybody and can't bother other people to borrow money. That way, he will try and make a living for himself and his gambling addiction. Idk if rehabilitation will help him in the Philippines because the stories I've heard from friends and family all say the same thing: rehab is ineffective and just intensifies the desire of the person to commit the same thing they're addicted on.

Try to be blunt on him and deprive him of any money. Don't give in to his threats as it's obvious that he's not going to do it anyway. Perhaps send him to jail due to the theft that happened. Give him a hard lesson and he'll learn soon.

[AmoreJaz]

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

He said if his mother do not pay the money that he is going to kill himself. I think this is more than an addiction but the child is very wicked. His parent should try send him to rehabilitation center but I do not think this kind of children may want to listen. If he listens, that is the best thing to help him with. His parent should explain everything he did shared they got to the rehab center.

Sometimes such cases is not about gambling addictions alone,  the boy may be under the influence of some other things outside gambling and I the parent could look closer then they will see and discover what other substance that the boy could be exposed to and he is abusing them such as drugs  because drug mixed with gambling could be a heck in the ass.

Just so we know that the combination of drugs and gambling is really a bad one and could trigger even worst realities in the future if not checked because at this stage the child is already losing his mind since he threatened suicide already.

Or find out the reasons why he is becoming addicted to gambling? Because in most cases, to treat someone else's gambling addiction, you need to understand them and learn the root cause of why they are into this activity. If you are just thinking of how to punish him because of what he did, you won't resolve the situation. He may really go back again and again to this addictive activity.

In my opinion, try these following activities that you think may alter his lifestyle -
> find his other passion - where do you think he is into? is he educated enough to understand what's going on with his life?
> look for sports that you believe he has an inclination of, and bring him to that sports, engage him
> learn who his friends are, knowing who he mingles with will give you insight why he is into this activity? try to introduce better companions
> try other outdoor activities - camping, hiking, going to the beach, road trip, traveling, etc
> maybe introduce yoga/meditation
> learn new skills he can devote his idle time into

[Casdinyard]

So, just recently a piece of bad news came out to my wife that his brother ran away to the city because he made trouble in their home in the province.
I asked why and she said, it's all about borrowed money and stolen funds from the family.

This is not just once that happened so I really know the reason behind it and it's gambling.
I did understand it before because it's from his own pocket which he made from mango picking which is their business. But that business is seasonal and there will be times when there will be no funds coming in.

What he did: Borrowed 15,000 PHP from a neighbor which is his gambling opponent. Pawned the tricycle (trike) for 12,000 PHP. Stolen 13,000 PHP from the piggy bank of his nephew. And more hidden borrowed small amounts.

Who will pay? My wife (which means my money too) and his sister working in Italy.

What did he do so that his mother would give up where the hidden piggy bank of the nephew is was the unacceptable thing to me. He threatened his mother that he would kill himself if he didn't give it up.

That's when I told my wife that this is a gambling addiction and the brother should be rehabilitated once he goes back. He will just do it over and over again and we will be the ones shouldering all the problems.

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

addicted or not he committed a crime, he should be punished for it by any means and he should know that once he gets back. The thing about some self-aware addicted gamblers is that they could weaponize their current state and reason out their atrocious acts not to their lack of control and discipline, but to the fact that they are addicted to gambling and they can't help it. For sure the court since we're living in the same country would rule out the possibilities of him getting rehabilitation and he'd probably find himself behind bars, which is also the reason why he's hiding from you guys right now, but he'll come back soon enough and when that happens, for the sake of you and your family's well being, have him arrested and be taken into custody.

This is pretty much how every gambler's story boils down when things go unchecked and the gambling addict remains in his erred ways. They find the opportunity to commit a crime to fund their vices and scratch the itch at the back of their heads, they do it, they get arrested, and they get rehabilitated.

[Fivestar4everMVP]

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

Op, are you certain that what is happening to your brother in-law is as a result of his addiction to gambling? Please don't just assume, but believe a thing with facts, because in such situations, it is absolutely wrong to assume.
Yes, the characteristics beinf displayed by him confirms as symptoms of a gambling addict, but people who are addicted to hard drugs also display exactly like this, creating same kind of problems or even more, for people around them.

I have personally witnessed several scenes a drug addicted was caught stealing money from another, and after been beaten to pop, he confesses that the money being stolen was to be used to by hard drugs, since he can't borrow from friends or people around because he is already oweing them all.

So, what am I saying in essence?, find out exactly what your brother in-law is suffering from, and don't jump into conclusions without confirmation of what his problem is, it could be that he is addicted to gambling just as you have assumed, but it also could be that he has addicted to hard drugs, though for some people, hard drugs and gambling usually do go hand in hand, but find out what his real problem is, so you guys can know exactly what the best form of medication for him would be.

[Rengga Jati]

So, just recently a piece of bad news came out to my wife that his brother ran away to the city because he made trouble in their home in the province.
I asked why and she said, it's all about borrowed money and stolen funds from the family.

This is not just once that happened so I really know the reason behind it and it's gambling.
I did understand it before because it's from his own pocket which he made from mango picking which is their business. But that business is seasonal and there will be times when there will be no funds coming in.

What he did: Borrowed 15,000 PHP from a neighbor which is his gambling opponent. Pawned the tricycle (trike) for 12,000 PHP. Stolen 13,000 PHP from the piggy bank of his nephew. And more hidden borrowed small amounts.

Who will pay? My wife (which means my money too) and his sister working in Italy.

What did he do so that his mother would give up where the hidden piggy bank of the nephew is was the unacceptable thing to me. He threatened his mother that he would kill himself if he didn't give it up.

That's when I told my wife that this is a gambling addiction and the brother should be rehabilitated once he goes back. He will just do it over and over again and we will be the ones shouldering all the problems.

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

Oh may, another very sad story. There are many cases of gambling addiction that end like this, the various effects that are caused are very damaging to family relationships, detrimental to families who don't even know anything about gambling. And it can damage not only finances, but mental condition and also relationships.

Really, I can imagine how upset you are about this incident. because after all, it is money, and it's like I'm not willing to spend that much money just for the sake of gambling addiction. Be patient, the fear is that the moment he turns out to be addicted again. this will be very serious.

This is why I really hate people who don't know much but immediately jump into the world of gambling, and end up in a state of gambling addiction. This even happened to my sister's brother-in-law, in fact his condition was very bad. He plays online slots. And a few months ago, his condition was quite bad, he had difficulty eating and sleeping, and even when he was spoken to, he didn't respond. And, suddenly many debt collectors came to the house, collecting huge debts. The family was shocked and even made the father fall ill, because it turned out that his son was playing slots and accidentally hit it.

And what's worse, instead of being responsible, the person actually becomes STRESSED and CRAZY because he is unable to overcome his problem. In the end, his family also had to take care of him, until he was finally admitted to a mental hospital. Not only that, all of his parents' and his property have been sold, and he still has a debt of more than 1 billion Rupiah. This is crazy. Imagine, his wife just had a small baby, her parents are very fragile, and in the end they have to live with another family. because I don't have anything anymore. I was very surprised and this really happened, not someone else. What's worse, previously, it turned out that the perpetrator had borrowed the vehicle documents of his other relatives, not just 1 but 4 cars were pawned. In the end, his brother also had to take care of him. Meanwhile, he is currently still in a mental hospital. This is not in the big city, this is in a small town in my country. Really.

For this, they have no reason. so sad to know their condition right now.

[Jody.Drummer]

This is an alarming situation where you and your wife's family have to bear all the burden of the many problems caused by your nephew's behavior, the conclusion we can draw here is that gambling addiction can make a person do anything or justify any means just to get money to finance his gambling activities which sometimes even his actions are far from reasonable. Borrowing money is not unusual, but it would be a bad act if it is done without any accountability to pay, and the other is stealing money.

Now he is running away from home and one thing I am worried about is that it is possible for him to do some other bad things out there such as stealing money from other people or robbing or maybe cheating to pay for his life outside and also to pay for his gambling activities which is a situation that will ultimately only endanger themselves, in my place usually thieves will be beaten up when caught, and maybe it is the same there and this is another fear that his parents will feel. On the other hand, if you have a means of communication with your nephew then persuade him to return immediately, because the most important thing is for him to return to his home first and only then can you think of various ways to deal with his addiction problem such as going to a rehabilitation center.

[Mrbluntzy]

The City where he ran to is obviously not the solution to his problem because once a thief is always a thief. He will end up to make friends in the city and still continue to dupe his friends and or even cause a serious problem for himself that can put his life at risk or send him to jail. I also heard the story of a guy who was working in a local bet shop, he was tempted to use his boss money to stake on a gambling which he believed he will win the game. He stake more than $500 of his boss money whereas his salary was not even up to $100. He lost the game and before his boss even found out about the incident, the guy has ran away to a different city. He is still in hide out till today. If anyone is caught in this kind of acts, let them be captured and taken to a rehabilitation center.

[Akbarkoe]

So, just recently a piece of bad news came out to my wife that his brother ran away to the city because he made trouble in their home in the province.
I asked why and she said, it's all about borrowed money and stolen funds from the family.

This is not just once that happened so I really know the reason behind it and it's gambling.
I did understand it before because it's from his own pocket which he made from mango picking which is their business. But that business is seasonal and there will be times when there will be no funds coming in.

What he did: Borrowed 15,000 PHP from a neighbor which is his gambling opponent. Pawned the tricycle (trike) for 12,000 PHP. Stolen 13,000 PHP from the piggy bank of his nephew. And more hidden borrowed small amounts.

Who will pay? My wife (which means my money too) and his sister working in Italy.

What did he do so that his mother would give up where the hidden piggy bank of the nephew is was the unacceptable thing to me. He threatened his mother that he would kill himself if he didn't give it up.

That's when I told my wife that this is a gambling addiction and the brother should be rehabilitated once he goes back. He will just do it over and over again and we will be the ones shouldering all the problems.

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

It's a clichéd story where the gambler loses his mind and does something stupid, addiction makes him not use his mind to think ahead, take all the risks and lose it all, the cycle of humans who can't manage themselves.

Yes, he should be rehabilitated quickly, but if he ran away from home, let him go, no need to look for him, he needs time to think what he has done is a wrong mistake. If he returns later, it must be absolutely certain that he has truly repented and is no longer experiencing the disease of gambling addiction.

[LUCKMCFLY]

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

He said if his mother do not pay the money that he is going to kill himself. I think this is more than an addiction but the child is very wicked. His parent should try send him to rehabilitation center but I do not think this kind of children may want to listen. If he listens, that is the best thing to help him with. His parent should explain everything he did shared they got to the rehab center.

Sometimes such cases is not about gambling addictions alone,  the boy may be under the influence of some other things outside gambling and I the parent could look closer then they will see and discover what other substance that the boy could be exposed to and he is abusing them such as drugs  because drug mixed with gambling could be a heck in the ass.

Just so we know that the combination of drugs and gambling is really a bad one and could trigger even worst realities in the future if not checked because at this stage the child is already losing his mind since he threatened suicide already.

Or find out the reasons why he is becoming addicted to gambling. Because in most cases, to treat someone else's gambling addiction, you need to understand them and learn the root cause of why they are into this activity. If you are just thinking of how to punish him because of what he did, you won't resolve the situation. He may really go back again and again to this addictive activity.

In my opinion, try these following activities that you think may alter his lifestyle -
> find his other passion - where do you think he is into? is he educated enough to understand what's going on with his life?
> look for sports that you believe he has an inclination of, and bring him to that sports
> learn who his friends are, knowing who he mingles with will give you insight why he is into this activity? try to introduce better companions

I also think the same, when a person is addicted then there is nothing to do, you have to help them get out of that situation, give them moral support with whatever you can to support them, it is not easy, it is hard, it is a detox. that sometimes it is not easy, that is why when we are seeing things from another point of view it is always easier to give our opinion, but when the player is immersed in addiction what he has to do is look for the quick solution to these things, There is no other way, you have to see where you can get the best out of what you have, punishment is not efficient, punishment is given while the person was entering into that addiction, but not when they are already there, as I said before. , find the quickest solution to get out of that and whatever, what needs to be spent and if there are the resources there should be no doubt.

[GigaBit]

When a person is spending Borrowed money that will be difficult to pay back at that time they are making a decision to leave the place if they lose. Particularly people who have lost a lot of money in gambling or gambling usually debt money take this type of policy. Moreover, those who are addicted gamblers today or tomorrow when they conduct gambling beyond their limits, they may decide to run away rather than pay off the debt.

Such behavior is not new to gambling addicts. I have seen many gamblers who conduct gambling with borrowed money. If there was such a survey there would be names of gamblers who operate gambling with borrowed money. If a gambler gambles with his own money and loses, there is no problem, but whenever he loses after gambling with borrowed money, he may be in an escape situation. Not only that, if the loan amount cannot be paid, the burden of this debt can be pressed on his relatives or someone close to him.

[bluebit25]

I can relate to the way you feel. It’s hard seeing someone you love go through a tough time, especially when it comes to hearing stories about online gambling addiction that are so common. There are forums and such for these types of discussions, but at times people just need somewhere to vent or share experiences within a community they feel a connection to. It seems like your Bitcoin forum friends may see this space as one where they can safely express their worries.
Whether the story is yours or not, it’s quite obvious this situation has brought you much pain. Nobody expects anyone to come up with a solution like a stranger; however, there are times when simple words like ‘sorry to hear that’ or ‘thinking of you’ can go far as well.

[Iroh]

I read a thread on here about family members helping out one of their own who’s an addict. I commented on there about issues that comes along with addicts that would make even family members give up hope on the individual.
OP, in this case, you’re right on the addicted Individual coming back only to have a repeat of what he did and perhaps, even more. He needs to get help and fast too. Without funds coming in from family, he may resort to illegal activities to get money to satisfy his desires but then again, You can’t really help someone that doesn’t want to be helped.

[TopT3ns]

When a person is spending Borrowed money that will be difficult to pay back at that time they are making a decision to leave the place if they lose. Particularly people who have lost a lot of money in gambling or gambling usually debt money take this type of policy. Moreover, those who are addicted gamblers today or tomorrow when they conduct gambling beyond their limits, they may decide to run away rather than pay off the debt.

Such behavior is not new to gambling addicts. I have seen many gamblers who conduct gambling with borrowed money. If there was such a survey there would be names of gamblers who operate gambling with borrowed money. If a gambler gambles with his own money and loses, there is no problem, but whenever he loses after gambling with borrowed money, he may be in an escape situation. Not only that, if the loan amount cannot be paid, the burden of this debt can be pressed on his relatives or someone close to him.

When you are addicted to a gambling place, it is very difficult to leave the gambling site, even in difficult economic conditions. As long as you can find someone who can change like that when you have lost a lot of money, then you are very lucky because you can see that person's recovery process, but until now I have not seen anyone who has managed to recover from a gambling place. They will continue to try to get money at any cost to gamble again until finally many decide to end their lives because they are trapped in a lot of debt because they use it for gambling.

[entertheabyss]

I read a thread on here about family members helping out one of their own who’s an addict. I commented on there about issues that comes along with addicts that would make even family members give up hope on the individual.
OP, in this case, you’re right on the addicted Individual coming back only to have a repeat of what he did and perhaps, even more. He needs to get help and fast too. Without funds coming in from family, he may resort to illegal activities to get money to satisfy his desires but then again, You can’t really help someone that doesn’t want to be helped.

Family is everything and we should try our possible best to always do the pleasant things, atleast to ourselves to gaining the crucial basic information for the purpose to make good long runs. We should be careful while gambling because if we fall in the darkest spot, it will definitely be challenging for everyone of us. Gambling addicts are different from main people, they're always calculativd and not bearing the activities of the real world, always ready to take risks that involves the space and not relenting.

[danherbias07]

I have an idea of what to do. Thank you for your answers guys. It helped a lot because I came up with a solution that would maybe not hurt both his family and others. It all came from you guys because my mind was clouded by hate and I could not think straight so my decision-making was not good.

I really appreciate all the efforts to share and come up with a better solution.

Again, Thank you.

Locking this thread.