Just another gambling addict story.

[danherbias07]

So, just recently a piece of bad news came out to my wife that his brother ran away to the city because he made trouble in their home in the province.
I asked why and she said, it's all about borrowed money and stolen funds from the family.

This is not just once that happened so I really know the reason behind it and it's gambling.
I did understand it before because it's from his own pocket which he made from mango picking which is their business. But that business is seasonal and there will be times when there will be no funds coming in.

What he did: Borrowed 15,000 PHP from a neighbor which is his gambling opponent. Pawned the tricycle (trike) for 12,000 PHP. Stolen 13,000 PHP from the piggy bank of his nephew. And more hidden borrowed small amounts.

Who will pay? My wife (which means my money too) and his sister working in Italy.

What did he do so that his mother would give up where the hidden piggy bank of the nephew is was the unacceptable thing to me. He threatened his mother that he would kill himself if he didn't give it up.

That's when I told my wife that this is a gambling addiction and the brother should be rehabilitated once he goes back. He will just do it over and over again and we will be the ones shouldering all the problems.

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

[1714703689]

1714703689

[Ultegra134]

I'm sorry for your loss, however, what's your point here? I know what you'll say, to share our experiences and yada yada yada. There are whole threads devoted to gambling addict stories and how they or someone close to them messed up, why does your story require a dedicated thread by itself? On top of that, what kind of replies are you expecting here, to say that they're sorry? I don't think anyone actually is, but at least it adds up to their quota, right?!? Or possibly a pat in the back and say that all is okay? What kind of solution are you anticipating? You know the answer yourself, and it's a widely discussed topic that doesn't need its dedicated thread.

I understand that you want to "share" but some things and some details are beyond sharing with a bunch of strangers on a Bitcoin forum; you're a legendary member, you should know better. Your "wife's brother" if that's even a true story, needs professional assistance and to be held responsible for his actions, he's a thief and a manipulator. Providing that it's true, such sensitive information requires a place where serious discussions take place, while I personally wouldn't share such details with the public.

[blckhawk]

Sad news overall but I think more than rehabilitation, that person needs to be punished for his crimes, there's no way that someone would just repent because you've forgiven them and you gave them a chance, that moment is the opportunity that most of these addicts look for to know that they can just walk all over you and do what they do all over again because you know that you'll forgive them, this is especially devastating to that nephew because they've done all he can to save that money and suddenly it's going to get stolen. I hink that your situation, there needs to be some involvement of litigation, rehabilitation won't work if the person doesn't have the will to be rehabilitated.

[Julien_Olynpic]

There is gambling addiction, infantilism, and theft. Moreover, by stealing from relatives, he apparently believed that he would have a more lenient punishment. Here, of course, it is true that the stolen money must be returned, the crime committed must be punished, and apparently you will have to stop communicating with your brother. Rehabilitation is, of course, good, but if it costs a lot, then who should pay for it? This is usually paid for by the parents of the gaming addict or sometimes by the addict himself. But if neither he nor his parents have money for this, then the person himself must realize the depth of the problem. Usually life makes a person sooner or later realize the harmfulness of a habit. After all, sooner or later a person runs out of funds and he is forced to think about what he is doing. It is impossible to leave a person without punishment. After all, in essence, punishment is part of rehabilitation

[Oshosondy]

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

He said if his mother do not pay the money that he is going to kill himself. I think this is more than an addiction but the child is very wicked. His parent should try send him to rehabilitation center but I do not think this kind of children may want to listen. If he listens, that is the best thing to help him with. His parent should explain everything he did shared they got to the rehab center.

[Davidvictorson]

He said if his mother do not pay the money that he is going to kill himself. I think this is more than an addiction but the child is very wicked. His parent should try send him to rehabilitation center but I do not think this kind of children may want to listen. If he listens, that is the best thing to help him with. His parent should explain everything he did shared they got to the rehab center.

I am sorry to say this but the kid is probably a spoiled brat whose tool of manipulation and emotional blackmail has worked on his mother many things and he doesn't fail to use it when things aren't working his way. The kid isn't going to kill himself because he's not depressed or anything. His parents should be firm in handling him. Rehabilitation may be effective but what his parents can't afford the payment. I'd say send him to some military boot camp or something. Somewhere where his behavior can be modified.

[un_rank]

You already answered the question yourself. Sending him to a proper rehabilitation facility is the best approach to protect him from himself. Mental health challenges are not usually treated with severity in the grassroots setting leading to worsening of manageable situations. Families also have the fear of stigma of having a relative sent to a rehabilitation home.

It is worth noting that anyone can become addicted to anything with bad side effects, not entirely a gambling problem.

- Jay -

[HajiBagi]

This is why gambling is bad for unemployed people; things are really getting out of control. I'm sorry for your loss, but my advice in reading your story is to not even consider family matters. Instead, take the situation personally, make sure he pays for it, punish him, and teach him the value of hard work. These are the reasons why young men shouldn't develop a gambling addiction because once they've never played, they'll never feel good. I've seen a lot of people these days who would rather use their money to gamble rather than eat.

Gambling is meant to be fun, and for those who are capable of playing it, it is not required. As a young person, go out and work and earn money. I've been thinking about this a lot. Does gambling have the spirit of making people fall in love with it or people who played it the way they liked just to do it on their own? The thing that used to frighten me the most is that, once these young men become dependent on gambling, they have no choice but to find a different way to support themselves. Whether they succeed or fail, they don't care, but based on your account, the man demands discipline.

[angrybirdy]

So, just recently a piece of bad news came out to my wife that his brother ran away to the city because he made trouble in their home in the province.
I asked why and she said, it's all about borrowed money and stolen funds from the family.

This is not just once that happened so I really know the reason behind it and it's gambling.
I did understand it before because it's from his own pocket which he made from mango picking which is their business. But that business is seasonal and there will be times when there will be no funds coming in.

What he did: Borrowed 15,000 PHP from a neighbor which is his gambling opponent. Pawned the tricycle (trike) for 12,000 PHP. Stolen 13,000 PHP from the piggy bank of his nephew. And more hidden borrowed small amounts.

Who will pay? My wife (which means my money too) and his sister working in Italy.

What did he do so that his mother would give up where the hidden piggy bank of the nephew is was the unacceptable thing to me. He threatened his mother that he would kill himself if he didn't give it up.

That's when I told my wife that this is a gambling addiction and the brother should be rehabilitated once he goes back. He will just do it over and over again and we will be the ones shouldering all the problems.

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

That's sad and horrible news, Your brother in law is addicted to gambling, or maybe he is also under the influence of drugs, what sane person would threaten his own parents? it's quite dangerous because he might come back and hurt each of you. The only poor thing here are the family members  who were left behind because they are the ones who are suffering and will share the bills owed by your Brother in law. Actually, ya'll don't have to pay the debts because the debts are not in your name and there is no document stating that you are allowed to pay his debts, the better thing to do is to complain this incident and report your brother in law to have a record about his debts. The only way to stop him in doing gambling is a rehab because there are so many signs that He is confirmed a gambling addict.

[danherbias07]

I'm sorry for your loss, however, what's your point here? I know what you'll say, to share our experiences and yada yada yada. There are whole threads devoted to gambling addict stories and how they or someone close to them messed up, why does your story require a dedicated thread by itself? On top of that, what kind of replies are you expecting here, to say that they're sorry? I don't think anyone actually is, but at least it adds up to their quota, right?!? Or possibly a pat in the back and say that all is okay? What kind of solution are you anticipating? You know the answer yourself, and it's a widely discussed topic that doesn't need its dedicated thread.

I understand that you want to "share" but some things and some details are beyond sharing with a bunch of strangers on a Bitcoin forum; you're a legendary member, you should know better. Your "wife's brother" if that's even a true story, needs professional assistance and to be held responsible for his actions, he's a thief and a manipulator. Providing that it's true, such sensitive information requires a place where serious discussions take place, while I personally wouldn't share such details with the public.

What are you so mad about? It's a forum. Get a life bro.
It's asking if there's a better solution and not just rehabilitation. Maybe there's more that I don't know. And yes it is a true story. I am not a fiction writer who can make up such things. It's detailed, don't you see?
It's on you if you don't want to share, that's your problem, not mine.

Sad news overall but I think more than rehabilitation, that person needs to be punished for his crimes

That's the other thing that I am thinking but I know my wife's family won't agree with that. That's still their brother and their parents would not let it happen too.  Actually, I am the only one thinking about rehabilitation for him, the family is not even thinking about doing it.

He said if his mother do not pay the money that he is going to kill himself. I think this is more than an addiction but the child is very wicked. His parent should try send him to rehabilitation center but I do not think this kind of children may want to listen. If he listens, that is the best thing to help him with. His parent should explain everything he did shared they got to the rehab center.

Yeah, lack of respect. To threaten your mother like that. That's why I said it's unacceptable to me because there's a big tradition in this country about respecting our parents and not talking like that.

I am sorry to say this but the kid is probably a spoiled brat whose tool of manipulation and emotional blackmail has worked on his mother many things and he doesn't fail to use it when things aren't working his way. The kid isn't going to kill himself because he's not depressed or anything. His parents should be firm in handling him. Rehabilitation may be effective but what his parents can't afford the payment. I'd say send him to some military boot camp or something. Somewhere where his behavior can be modified.

Well, they don't really have a rich life in the province but I think he saw an opportunity and my wife thinks that because they helped him the first time that's why he repeated it because they are there to help again.
That's my one more point with these gambling addicts. We should not be the culprit to make them gamble excessively again. I think they should let him know that next time, help won't come.

Actually, ya'll don't have to pay the debts because the debts are not in your name and there is no document stating that you are allowed to pay his debts, the better thing to do is to complain this incident and report your brother in law to have a record about his debts. The only way to stop him in doing gambling is a rehab because there are so many signs that He is confirmed a gambling addict.

But there's a problem, that (tricycle) trike that he pawned is their transportation to go to the wet market, the hospital, and other places because they are too far from their house. So it needs to be paid back especially with the old parents getting sick a lot of times.

[Smartprofit]

There is gambling addiction, infantilism, and theft. Moreover, by stealing from relatives, he apparently believed that he would have a more lenient punishment. Here, of course, it is true that the stolen money must be returned, the crime committed must be punished, and apparently you will have to stop communicating with your brother. Rehabilitation is, of course, good, but if it costs a lot, then who should pay for it? This is usually paid for by the parents of the gaming addict or sometimes by the addict himself. But if neither he nor his parents have money for this, then the person himself must realize the depth of the problem. Usually life makes a person sooner or later realize the harmfulness of a habit. After all, sooner or later a person runs out of funds and he is forced to think about what he is doing. It is impossible to leave a person without punishment. After all, in essence, punishment is part of rehabilitation

Gambling addiction is very difficult to treat (unlike alcoholism and drug addiction). 
I know what I'm talking about, because I myself suffered from gambling addiction at one time. 
I managed to recover from gambling addiction, but to do this I used a very cunning psychological trick.  I decided to replace one psychological addiction with another psychological addiction.  To do this, I stopped going to casinos, and started going to computer clubs and playing computer games - strategies.  From the point of view of game mechanics, computer strategies are more interesting than roulette.  Constantly concentrating on this circumstance, I gradually completely freed myself from the painful dependence on roulette.  At the same time, I fell in love with playing computer games, but I no longer developed a painful addiction to them. 
My cunning psychological trick worked and I was cured!

[OceanBit]

Sorry to hear about the challenges your family is facing rn because of your brother-in-law's gambling addiction. He should take the consequences of his actions. Rehabilitation is a good step to address his addiction and hoping he'll be rehabilitated soon. Rehabilitation is helpful for him to be enlightened of what he did and maybe encourage him to seek employment. Hoping that his family will work together, have open communication with him, support and will be able to convince him to participate in support groups or programs for individuals with gambling addiction that will help him recover.

[wxa7115]

What he did: Borrowed 15,000 PHP from a neighbor which is his gambling opponent. Pawned the tricycle (trike) for 12,000 PHP. Stolen 13,000 PHP from the piggy bank of his nephew. And more hidden borrowed small amounts.

Who will pay? My wife (which means my money too) and his sister working in Italy.

What did he do so that his mother would give up where the hidden piggy bank of the nephew is was the unacceptable thing to me. He threatened his mother that he would kill himself if he didn't give it up.

That's when I told my wife that this is a gambling addiction and the brother should be rehabilitated once he goes back. He will just do it over and over again and we will be the ones shouldering all the problems.

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

There is no other way around this problem than your brother in law accepting the responsibility for what he has done and look for help, but taking into account the behavior you describe, it does not seems as if he is ready to take that step.

Being that the case, this is where the family also has to take some painful decisions, if you pay his debts then since he is not suffering any repercussions for his misbehavior, this could cause him to do it again, and at some point you will need to wonder, how long are you willing to tolerate this situation before you call it quits and stop it?

[Samlucky O]

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

I must say it is difficult to  figure out a way to control such a person gambling addiction, Gambling addiction are of different criteria. I made a research and I have discovered the the types of gambling and the ways to stop gambling addiction the information below may be of help for you to identify the type of gambler he is and how to reduce his gambling addict though it might not be the best option but you may find it interesting to shear with such a person.
types of gambling and gambling addiction
how to stop gambling addiction

[bitbollo]

the best solution is to make him realize the mistake he made and make him decide that he wants to change his life and understand where the mistakes lie.
external help is never decisive. it all depends on your own inner strength and that's what really helps you find solutions.
monitors online services related to compulsive gambling its plenty of basic service and info on how to manage these kind of issues.

[EarnOnVictor]

-snip-
Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

Thankfully, you are a member of this forum who visits the gambling section often, and this could have helped you to easily know the issues. The good part is that you've already known the issue, unlike others, so the problem now is half-solved if they cooperate with your advice. You may go with the advice to rehab him, and of course, no other solution unless he is wise enough to fight by himself within, but without the Willpower, this will fail. I hope everything works well with you guys.

However, I like to suggest the advice of finding a better job for this guy. The seasonal work may get people frustrated. We all need regular money to take care of our regular needs. If the need is regular and the money is seasonal, this is not balanced at all, which leads to desperation like this. In my understanding, this is the main source of the issue if I read you correctly, so "nipping it in the bud" will go a long way in helping this guy. At least, something beneficial financially will get him occupied.

[pinggoki]

the best solution is to make him realize the mistake he made and make him decide that he wants to change his life and understand where the mistakes lie.
external help is never decisive. it all depends on your own inner strength and that's what really helps you find solutions.
monitors online services related to compulsive gambling its plenty of basic service and info on how to manage these kind of issues.

That stage of addiction, I'm sure that he's aware of that, no way you can be doing those mistakes and be ignorant about it, I just don't see it that way but you're right about the realization part though not because of the mistakes but because he's hurting his loved ones just to satisfy that addiction. Apparently this person doesn't have the inner strength to be able to fight the urge and not be consumed by the addiction that he's feeling, if he did have that, he wouldn't be stealing money from his nephew.

[TravelMug]

The thing is, will the brother willing to go to rehab? I do agree that this is the last resort for this if ever he will surface again. And we don't want worst thing to happen to him, i.e. borrowed money from a long shark and then he didn't pay. Most of the time this crime syndicate will do everything to hurt the addict and his love one. So the trick maybe is once he floated that you and your wife, his sister will go somewhere is, and then you secretly goes to a rehab facilities and enter him. And as what others have said, he is really addicted that he threatens not just everyone around him, but himself. Wish you best luck and hopefully you will find a better solution before it's too late.

[TopTort777]

For this is just another story that people have reckless approach to money. And I cant blame only that guy who get into troubles with gambling. Family is guilty also. He did not come up with idea of gambling, stealing, running away our of nowhere and all of sudden. That addiction he has was forming for years. Family should have noticed that earlier and do something about it.

Solution for this situation - isnt it to late to search for solution, but instead people should act radically now? Rehab, visiting specialists, made him find new hobby or work (which is better since he owe now alot), that will take all of his time.

[qwertyup23]

What he did: Borrowed 15,000 PHP from a neighbor which is his gambling opponent. Pawned the tricycle (trike) for 12,000 PHP. Stolen 13,000 PHP from the piggy bank of his nephew. And more hidden borrowed small amounts.

Who will pay? My wife (which means my money too) and his sister working in Italy.

You do not have the obligation to pay the loan of your neighbors unless you are the guarantor himself.

In the case of your brother, he is personally liable for the loans that he incurred. He should actually commit in paying the loan amounts in an installment basis so that he could relieve himself of that liability.

That's when I told my wife that this is a gambling addiction and the brother should be rehabilitated once he goes back. He will just do it over and over again and we will be the ones shouldering all the problems.

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

He will definitely do it again.

The fact that he even stole money from your nephew's piggy bank is just appalling. I honestly believe that he will refuse any form of therapy until he pays all of his loan obligations. If you really want to help your brother, then do your best to avoid exposing him in certain triggers that are associated with gambling.

For example, you can borrow his phone and try your best to exclude certain websites that may trigger a response to gambling. But in all honesty, your brother definitely needs professional help since he is already too deep in his addiction. He can definitely self-destruct in any minute and he would threaten against his life again.