Pregnancy before marriage or after marriage, which do you prefer?

[Stive009]

We are social creatures and we can't make all our decisions outside of society. We are obliged to live in the context of the norms values and social realities of our society. When you're an adult it's hard to take on a completely different approach to life to change your entire perspective. It's just the way it is often you have to do it.

But it does not imply that the traditional rules of society should define the one and only life for all. The issue of marriage and children is a personal one. Even if a person may decide to have a baby before marriage the choice should not just be based on the society's opinion. However before deciding to have a child the couple needs to think about mutual consent and if they are emotionally and economically prepared to undertake the responsibility.

After all it is not just about personal desire and a child is a long term responsibility. Consideration needs to be given to the child's future financial educational health and care requirements. Everyone is entitled to live life on their own terms but that freedom requires that people take responsibility for their decisions. Societal pressure should not be the sole determinant of all things and personal wishes should not be the sole reason for neglecting practical matters.

[Charleslie]

Personally, I prefer pregnancy after marriage. I believe bringing a child into the world is a big responsibility, and I would rather have that experience within a committed marriage. Marriage does not mean everything will automatically be perfect, but I believe it can give two people time to understand each other, plan their future, and prepare themselves. Having a child is more than just giving birth. It comes with financial responsibilities, emotional responsibilities and providing a better education for the child. That is why, for me, I would rather prefer to get married first and then have children when my partner and I are ready. 

[Mr_Brilliant$]

Your percentage figure is questionable. Where did you get your facts from? You should have just said some men. Full blown 90%. How many men are actually getting married. It's just a fraction of all the men. As for the men, I won't blame them. I don't know whether it's because of the advancement in technology that has made moral things look like things of old. You need to hear what I hear about women. Bro, you won't get married again. As I am here, I even have double mind in using my hard earned money to do marriage ontop one girl head. I understand were you're coming from first of all, some women do a lot and in the process damage their womb. So some men prefer getting their women pregnant before marriage. But I don't see a growing thread of it that's why I question your percentage fact.

[Cryptoprincess101]

Personally, I prefer pregnancy after marriage. I believe bringing a child into the world is a big responsibility, and I would rather have that experience within a committed marriage. Marriage does not mean everything will automatically be perfect, but I believe it can give two people time to understand each other, plan their future, and prepare themselves. Having a child is more than just giving birth. It comes with financial responsibilities, emotional responsibilities and providing a better education for the child. That is why, for me, I would rather prefer to get married first and then have children when my partner and I are ready. 

In moral standards, giving birth when you are married is very responsible and prestigious but it is not a guarantee that your partner will be financially responsible. This is why i also encourage other ladies to work hard, earn money and make some savings before getting married because the rate of irresponsible men in the society is alarming so it is best to have your own money so that if the father of the kids is not financially present, you won't suffer because you already have your own money. I saw a video on social media where a young lady was lamenting that the father of their kids bluntly refused to take responsibility of the children's school fees. Though the woman was divorced already but even at that, it's only a coward that refuses to take responsibility of the children. Child birth comes with a lot of responsibility, both partners must be sure they are emotionally and mentally ready to become parents.

[Royal Cap]

Personally, I prefer pregnancy after marriage. I believe bringing a child into the world is a big responsibility, and I would rather have that experience within a committed marriage. Marriage does not mean everything will automatically be perfect, but I believe it can give two people time to understand each other, plan their future, and prepare themselves. Having a child is more than just giving birth. It comes with financial responsibilities, emotional responsibilities and providing a better education for the child. That is why, for me, I would rather prefer to get married first and then have children when my partner and I are ready. 

I agree with you because if a child is born before marriage and after if the couple does not get married, then that child grows up in a very bad environment and it can have a big impact on his life, Because he moves away from the love of his parents. So if a child is born after marriage, the child grows up in a healthy care and that is what should happen. From the perspective of our country, having a child before marriage is like a crime, because living relationships are prohibited here.  And our religion also prohibits it. So from a religious point of view, having a child after marriage is the most reasonable.

[BALIK]

Personally, I prefer pregnancy after marriage. I believe bringing a child into the world is a big responsibility, and I would rather have that experience within a committed marriage. Marriage does not mean everything will automatically be perfect, but I believe it can give two people time to understand each other, plan their future, and prepare themselves. Having a child is more than just giving birth. It comes with financial responsibilities, emotional responsibilities and providing a better education for the child. That is why, for me, I would rather prefer to get married first and then have children when my partner and I are ready. 

I agree with you because if a child is born before marriage and after if the couple does not get married, then that child grows up in a very bad environment and it can have a big impact on his life, Because he moves away from the love of his parents. So if a child is born after marriage, the child grows up in a healthy care and that is what should happen. From the perspective of our country, having a child before marriage is like a crime, because living relationships are prohibited here.  And our religion also prohibits it. So from a religious point of view, having a child after marriage is the most reasonable.

Putting religion and culture of each country aside, having a child before marriage is something couple should probably avoid. Women especially need to be strictly firm on this, because if shit goes sideways. They are the ones who end up carrying the biggest loss. Meanwhile, men do not have to deal with nearly as many physical or social consequences.

Not to mention, child can end up missing out too if they don't grow up with proper care and attention from both parent like you said. So, having kid before marriage can be a pretty bad idea.

[Joeboy]

~snip~

In moral standards, giving birth when you are married is very responsible and prestigious but it is not a guarantee that your partner will be financially responsible. This is why i also encourage other ladies to work hard, earn money and make some savings before getting married because the rate of irresponsible men in the society is alarming so it is best to have your own money so that if the father of the kids is not financially present, you won't suffer because you already have your own money. I saw a video on social media where a young lady was lamenting that the father of their kids bluntly refused to take responsibility of the children's school fees. Though the woman was divorced already but even at that, it's only a coward that refuses to take responsibility of the children. Child birth comes with a lot of responsibility, both partners must be sure they are emotionally and mentally ready to become parents.

Surely, marriage is a mutual commitment, same as child bearing...Both the father and the mother has the responsibility of taking care of the children...And in situations whereby the father can't, his partner should be willing to step in and assume that responsibility, and vice versa...But the society we live in today has the habit of pushing children responsibility to one party, and that is why we see cases whereby the father is expected to provide everything even down to buying underwear for his wife, which isn't supposed to be like that..That's the more reason why a woman should a have job of her own...No one is mandating that she get a high paying job..But at least having something doing would always reduce the stress that is on the man... But i would also say that this shouldn't also be an excuse for the man to deliberate abandon his responsibility to his children just because his wife is working... Everything should be in absolute balance..If possible, the responsibilities should be equally divided amongst the man and the wife in such a way that everyone has whatever or she is expected to do..I absolutely abhor a one-sided marriage or relationship...