Why some women stand by men during struggles, yet the man later mistreats her.

[Queen uloma]

‎In our society today you will understand that may young lady have face alot of heartbreak, and disappointment, all because of trying to be an understanding woman when the man was poor, broke and had nothing to contribute, not until things started turning out well, you will now realize that she's the problem.
‎As a man you're not supposed to go into any relationship when you have nothing that gives you money monthly or weekly, you can't keep a lady for years to stand by you,  after you've become successful that's when you will feel that she's not a good person , that's when you will be  calling her a liability, I have been in such situation before, and I have decided never in my life will I grow with any guy, make your money yourself before you look for a girl, as a lady we need to wise up, have something to do rather than depending on man for survival.

[Frankolala]

It happens to both sex. I have seen a guy that had a business and saw this beautiful girl he loves. He told her he wants to get married to her. She accepted in only one condition that he will allow her go to the university. The guy accepted and trained the girl till she graduated. She dumped him for her course mate in school. A relationship is not marriage and both parties can do whatever, they like when they don't love each other.

[Itz-prisigold]

This isn't just about the guys having a girl who stands by them while they struggle. This goes both ways. Sometimes a partner supports you during your toughest moments,  when you have nothing,  confused and still trying to find direction,  this person will  give you their time,  love,  patience and emotional support, only for the tables to turn once things start improving.  To me, that just goes to show that they never valued from the beginning.   See someone that truly respects you will never forget the role you played in their journey.

What I have learned is that no one,  be it  guys or girls,  should enter a serious relationship without having at least some level of personal stability.  When you have nothing going for you in life, that just leaves the other to have so much pressure on them, while also getting dependent on them, and then eventually just plain getting resentful of that person.  Even  when they become successful,  so many line up stories to just rewrite history and treat the person who was there for them as a burden.

We  all just need to wise up.  Don't put your whole life on pause just because you want to "grow with"  someone else, whether you be a guy or a girl, just have your own goals, your own money and your own identity. Yeah, it feels good to have somebody behind you but not if it's going to cost the value of your personality or your future prospects. See  a balanced relationship depends on both partners growing together, putting their effort together,  and always value each other,  it is not written anywhere that only one person should be giving  their all while the other person will be acting as if it's their entitlement.

[Agbamoni]

In this world, love comes with pretence a lot. It will take only luck to find someone who you are compaitble with, both in good and bad times. I think it is the main reason why the bible emphaisze on marriage. Because marriage is the only union where both the man and woman will stay with each other both i easy and difficult times. However, marriage has it own flaws which is divorce. We have seen high rate of diveroce in the western countries nowardays.

[Samlucky O]

Well life is unpredictable and the heart of men/women is deceitful. This situation is a common situation in the society today. But I want to know this case is it a boyfriend and girlfriend case or husband and wife case? Well if it's a boyfriend and girlfriend case then there is nothing much to worry about. I know how it feels staying with a Guy for long when he had nothing but when things turn good he disappointe you. Well if you must know dating a broke guy is a risk, and dating an already made man is Also a risk, it is your choice to make because Both have same similarities but slightly different. Let me explain.

If you date a broke guy and he loves you genuinely and things work out for good, you will never suffer. He will Mary you and take good care of you having the mindset that you stayed with him when he had nothing.

You can also date a broke guy who doesn't love you genuinely but only milk you , or he's just being with you because you are satisfying him sexual and materialy since no one else can do that for him at that current status. In that kind of relationship you as a lady is the prey. and trust me when he has money he will dump you for another person because ne never loved you..

But the rich guy case is different because dating a rich guy, is like reaping where you did not sowe, majority of them will treat you like trash because they see every girl that comes their way as a broke girl looking for who to cashout from. And no matter how hard you try to win their heart they will not see it like that, because they believe you didn't met them when they are poor so you have nothing to contribute. If you date such person he might still disappoint you and marry another person. Although there are Also good ones but hardly you get them and if you do, they will keep remembering you that you had no stake in their success.

In summary of all, no one amonge them is easy but trust me if you have a broke guy who loves you genuinely and you stick to him, and he later married you, I bet you will never regret it like marrying a rich man who you never contributed to his success. Men are always proud of you when they met you in there hard times and you stayed by them till they make it.

[Evergreenpost]

Life is a long and unpredictable journey. It affects everyone; both men and women. Life itself is a kind of war, and if you don’t understand it, you will struggle. Today, there are groups of ladies who intentionally look for already established men. Some of them go to extreme lengths to snatch men who are already successful, even at the expense of the women who struggled with such men from the beginning. Some of these situations are not ordinary.

This is why a lady should thoroughly scrutinize a man before saying “I do.” Before accepting him as a lover, ask yourself important questions:
Do you know his background well? Who are the kinds of people he associates with? How was his father relationship with his mother? Why is he truly interested in you? Does he value religious beliefs, and if he claims to, does he obey the principles of the scriptures? Is he attracted to you only because of your body or sexual appeal?

As a lady, you need to weigh all his interests carefully. If he is after sex, beauty and temporary qualities, those things will not last. Yes, men may naturally be polygamous in tendencies, but if a lady is prayerful and does her research well, she will avoid many problems.

On the other hand, some ladies become arrogant or overly materialistic once their man starts making money. Some lose interest in their husband’s well being, which can push men to seek attention elsewhere.

A lady must also be smart, educated, supportive and resourceful. Many women limit themselves and only offer pleasure. But when beauty and shape change, the man may begin to think differently. However, if you contribute economically, intellectually and emotionally to your man’s growth, he will value you deeply. Spending and sex alone won’t hold a home, but your unique contributions; things he cannot easily find outside, will keep his heart with you, even into old age.

For example, if your husband is a businessman and he faces setbacks, you should support him with intelligent ideas and advice. If he is running for a political position, be the wife who mobilizes women and helps him gain support. If he sees that many women follow him because of your influence, he will regard you as an asset, not a liability.

In summary, everything cannot be expressed here, but the point is simple:
If a lady wants a good man, she must also be good enough to attract such a man. Likewise, if a man wants a good wife, he must become the kind of man who attracts a good woman. As a lady, be prayerful, be wise, and be good so that you can choose and keep a good partner.

[Man of peace]

‎In our society today you will understand that may young lady have face alot of heartbreak, and disappointment, all because of trying to be an understanding woman when the man was poor, broke and had nothing to contribute, not until things started turning out well, you will now realize that she's the problem.
‎As a man you're not supposed to go into any relationship when you have nothing that gives you money monthly or weekly, you can't keep a lady for years to stand by you,  after you've become successful that's when you will feel that she's not a good person , that's when you will be  calling her a liability, I have been in such situation before, and I have decided never in my life will I grow with any guy, make your money yourself before you look for a girl, as a lady we need to wise up, have something to do rather than depending on man for survival.

Well the truth of the matter is that life is something one can never understand it all,because in this life it's very rare for a good woman to meet with a good man likewise a good man to meet a good woman weather in marriage or in a relationship, it happens to both man and woman,we have had so many stories about a good woman who has been  of a helping hands and assistant to his husband or boyfriend and after some times you will see her been disappointed after all her efforts and contribution towards their success of that very man you will hear that after all the achievements both of them have struggled and be able to achieve the husband or the boyfriend will send her packing or abandoned her for another woman . and all the years she have been with that man will now be a wasted year and that's the worst thing that can ever happen to anyone.

Likewise the same way we due hear a stories about how a young man have sold almost everything he has in training a lady maybe in school or learning of skills and after much the man did  to her with the intention of getting married with her or even to build a good relationship the man will end up been dumped and choose another man , you begin to hear you are not my type of a man,you can't take care of me she begins to give the man unnecessary reasons and the man will end up been disappointed,so this has been the kind of life we find ourselves ,into being treating each other like a slave rendering someone's life useless , setting someone else's backwards...

And all this evil act is very common to our women because our women doesn't think twice on what to do their husband or boyfriend as long as they have been deceived with a flashing things, material things they easily fall in love with the things of the world.. and all of this is being caused by over greediness both man and woman and lack of wisdom..

[Hewlet]

‎As a man you're not supposed to go into any relationship when you have nothing that gives you money monthly or weekly, you can't keep a lady for years to stand by you,  after you've become successful that's when you will feel that she's not a good person.

Don't be one sided here. If there's ever a time a man runs away from a woman after he has gain a level of financial freedom, more than hundred women have done worse to men that are just struggling to get their feet on something. Heartbreak happens for both parties involve and though the narrative has always favoured the female, male suffers far more brunt because they are mostly the ones that invest so much into the relationship.

It takes two to tangle and if not the the society is getting worse by the day, as much as the man needs to be financially bouyant while considering going into a serious relationship, the woman shouldn't be negligent on her part. While you're building with a man or woman, also ensure you're building yourself in the process for no sane person will through you away when they know that you're an asset to them.

[Dunamisx]

When it comes to relationship matters, this varies, you can see in some situations whereby the man got disappointment form the woman and in some cases, it happened that the woman got exhausted all that she had and yet got humiliated by the man.

In relationship and marriage, we cant predict what may turned out to be, because we may not know about anything when all is going well with them both, until they had a misunderstanding that led to serious complications before everyone got to have a clue on what's going on, you might have been doing good over time, but the moment you made a mistake of doing bad, then people tend to forget all you do in the past that are well recommendable.

[Solosanz]

Alternative subject: Why some women stand by men during success, yet the woman later mistreats him after bankrupt.

You have to use perspective from woman and man if you want to judge something, it's not surprising to see a poor man who became rich choose to broke up, because the woman didn't give a big improvement as the man, which is fair.

On the other hand, it's not surprising to see a woman choose to broke up after she has someone who're richer than her husband, she see her husband can't fulfill her desire need, which is fair.

[uneng]

You had a very negative experience on this matter, and it's natural you don't want to face the same situation again in the future, so you tend to avoid relationships from now on. I think you are right, because you are protecting yourself against dissimulated and selfish men. It's an instinct of self-preservation.

I think the same regards the opposite sex, women. And of course, my past experiences made me feel and think the way I do right now.

Does it mean every man and woman are cunning and deceiving? Of course not, but the price you have to pay in order to find out if the man or woman by your side is, it's too expensive and involves high risks in a decaying world like the one we have nowadays.

Some events leave deep scars which you can't simply forget or pretend it has never happened.

[Findingnemo]

I think most of those women are extinct over the 20th century itself, now we have a new normal. 

I am talking about the majority here, so if anyone feels the opposite, then you are free to deny or ignore my comment here. So the trend among the women changed, now they want their partner to be already successful when they get into a relationship and even if they are financially successful, they expect them to be a puppet for all their life yet they want them to be successful.

Most of the young women are confused by the feminist propaganda and forget how they lead a life with their partner.

[uneng]

I think most of those women are extinct over the 20th century itself, now we have a new normal. 

It's not an exclusivity of women, but of people in general. It truly seems the normal now is to be a scummy individual, ready to do anything necessary to achieve personal goals and to have ephemeral pleasures, even though it may involve cheating on other people.

It's an era where the worst side of human beings is highlighted by themselves in daily life. And even when they do something good, it comes with second and third intentions behind. The famous personalities we used to admire before have a secret side revealed, which goes completely against the image people had from them previously.

We live in a time where the mental illnesses are the most talked subject. And not because it was a taboo before, but because they have become a pandemic in the present time. It's a time of insanity I thought to exist only in sci fi and dystopian movies. But now, it's upon us... And it's quite disturbing.

[mvdheuvel1983]

In this world, love comes with pretence a lot. It will take only luck to find someone who you are compaitble with, both in good and bad times. I think it is the main reason why the bible emphaisze on marriage. Because marriage is the only union where both the man and woman will stay with each other both i easy and difficult times. However, marriage has it own flaws which is divorce. We have seen high rate of diveroce in the western countries nowardays.

There is no perfect relationship anywhere in the world the rate of fake love is high finding a life partner who will not pretend to love you when you have what she wants but when the money is no longer there you will see the true character of the person, marriage was meant to last during the good and bad times but the ladies no longer find those who are not rich attractive they just want men who have the money to spend and without that they will never believe anything you tell them. Marriage is supposed to be for better and for worse but right now it is for better for better cause no one is going to be there when there is no money.

[passwordnow]

Don't be bias to only one gender because that happens in both genders. I've read stories like that in real life where both men and women, when they have nothing, they love their partners. But when they start to be good in life and success is hitting them, they start to dump their partners that have been with them when they have nothing. And that's why money doesn't change people but it reveals the real you.

[Wakate]

You need to understand that people changes and their is no way you can understand them better until when they started making money.
There are people that are very humble when they have nothing and making it very difficult for you to predict them or understand their capability until they started getting money. There are good men and bad men and until you meet the bad ones before you will understand if they exist and this is also applicable to the good ones.

[free-bit.co.in]

I think most of those women are extinct over the 20th century itself, now we have a new normal. 

I am talking about the majority here, so if anyone feels the opposite, then you are free to deny or ignore my comment here. So the trend among the women changed, now they want their partner to be already successful when they get into a relationship and even if they are financially successful, they expect them to be a puppet for all their life yet they want them to be successful.

Most of the young women are confused by the feminist propaganda and forget how they lead a life with their partner.

There is no bias here and we must also admit that this happens to both genders. This depends more on the personality of each person than the gender but I somewhat agree with you, this happens more with modern women.

Women today not only set high standards for their partners, but many are also willing to leave their partners if they no longer meet their material needs. But then again, that's just a group of women, not all of them. There are still a lot of good women and a lot of bad men like OP's story.

[Agbamoni]

There is no perfect relationship anywhere in the world the rate of fake love is high finding a life partner who will not pretend to love you when you have what she wants but when the money is no longer there you will see the true character of the person, marriage was meant to last during the good and bad times but the ladies no longer find those who are not rich attractive they just want men who have the money to spend and without that they will never believe anything you tell them. Marriage is supposed to be for better and for worse but right now it is for better for better cause no one is going to be there when there is no money.

There are still successful marriages irrespective of the misbehaviour going on in the world. I think Gen Z and Gen X are the ones with fewer love and trust issues. Difficult times make everyone look out for themselves first, and since sex can be bought with money, many men are willing to pay the price, as many women are willing to offer the self-claimed services.

[Ishicryptic]

I think that OP is a little biased here, she cannot use her experience to judge all men, as our faces as men are different so is our characters, same with women, I have seen and heard a lot of stories where people betray their partners, it happens all the time. What I observe is that as time goes by our priorities change and if who we are in a relationship with is not growing with us it's either that we carry the partner along or move on.

If you are in a relationship but not yet married to the person you have a right to move on, if in a relationship with somebody that is not taking you seriously there will always be red flags but blinded by "love" you will ignor the warning signs. Married people who have stayed together for many years get divorced so why can't you move on if you are no longer compatible with somebody that you are dating. I have seen where a woman will abandon a man that sacrificed so much for her, same thing I have seen men that abandoned women who stood by them in hard times. If you are in a relationship you should try to make it work, if it doesn't you can take a walk, don't marry somebody out of pity you will regret it in future.

[Lida93]

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‎As a man you're not supposed to go into any relationship when you have nothing that gives you money monthly or weekly, you can't keep a lady for years to stand by you,  after you've become successful that's when you will feel that she's not a good person , that's when you will be  calling her a liability, I have been in such situation before, and I have decided never in my life will I grow with any guy, make your money yourself before you look for a girl, as a lady we need to wise up, have something to do rather than depending on man for survival.

Are you speaking from your cultural background perspective of where you're coming from or what? I don't understand why it should be like a crime for a broke man to be in a relationship, what's the fair play there in life for both genders if it has to be that way. All I can tell you is that both genders are victims of the scenario you're pointing out, which am not in support of that people should be betrayed by those they stood beside when they had nothing but on the verge of rising they start acting savage.