When Help Turns to Hurt;Avoid Lending Significant Money to Friends

[tygeade]

The sad part is, this becomes an effective basis whether what you have is a real and honest friend, or just a fake one who is trying to take advantage of your kindness. I have this friend also, he borrowed just a minimal amount, and after that it seemed like he had not remember paying at all. I never reminded him also hoping he'll remember it on his own, but until now no single payment has been given.

We're friends until now, but for me, I already build a gap between us. If in small thing a person cannot be trusted, then he won't be trusted at all when it comes to bigger things. Its not about paying the money, but its the trust that was ruined after not sticking to the said promise.

That's quite true and that's the only reason why we should not lend money to our friends. Friendship should be in its place and should not be involved with money. I am pretty sure almost everyone might have had this kind of experience. This is unavoidable at least until and unless we know who a good friend can really be.

Some people will always be looking to take benefits if we are sincere and are quite open to them. That's why we should avoid having many friends. Instead, a handful of friends will always keep the circle pure and active. I also hate people who pretend to be our friend just because they think we earn more money, so they make us spend anytime we hangout. I have spent a couple of hundred dollars just for night outs or parties. I hate doing it now.

[Fredomago]

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I've been through this, OP. A friend came to me in dire straits, and I felt sympathy and was willing to sacrifice my savings to lend him money with a one-month repayment agreement. Those promises were empty promises, and it took me a year to get my money back, despite much effort.
Experience and maturity have taught me to prioritize my own family. It doesn't matter if they call me stingy and unsympathetic. I don't want to be like a beggar again just to get what I deserve. Furthermore, I don't want to ruin the good relationships I've built up over money.

Tough times when you are tryng to recover back what they owe from you, it's makes you beg in some instances just to collect or to be repay by them, and after that long time you've waited most of the time hate comes out from them, instead of appreciating your kindness just because you come to the point that you need to pressure them makes them feel uncomfortable.

Those are the times that you need to have a strong heart just to get what really yours to the point that you need to forget about your good relations since you badly needed the money that they barrowed from you.

[Stormisover]

There’s a popular saying: “If you want to lose a friend, lend them money.” As harsh as it sounds, life has a funny way of proving this statement true especially when the amount involved is significant.

Lending money to friends often starts from a good place of "help." Because you trust them and you believe things will work out.But money,unlike emotions,doesn’t run on good intentions.It runs on structure,timing,and accountability things that friendships rarely enforce.

When you lend what you cannot afford to lose, you don’t just risk your finances; you risk your peace of mind. Every missed call, every delayed promise, every “next week” begins to weigh on you. Suddenly, casual conversations turn awkward. You replay the decision in your head and ask yourself why you ignored that initial inner voice that said, “This might not end well.”

This is why a crucial financial rule exists: never loan what you can’t afford to lose. If giving the money back would disorganize you emotionally or financially, then it’s not a loan in the first place.

If you must help, be honest with yourself, Saying no doesn’t make you wicked;it makes you wise.Boundaries are not a lack of love they are a form of self-respect and discipline.

In a world where survival is already hard,protecting your financial stability is not selfish it’s fundamental.In other words,help where you can, but never at the expense of your finances.Because once money and friendship collide without limits, the cost is rarely just cash.
If you can’t afford it, don’t loan it.Your peace depends on it.Let's be wise and guarded!

The whole write up speaks so much about me in some kind of ways, am not good at having that feeling that am a debtor, secondly when it happens that I gave out loan I don't also have the enough courage to demand my money this whole situations leaves me frustrated and while I find it difficult to loan out money that I can't give out for free and whenever someone lend me money I make it a priority to pay even before the agreed time just to restore my sanity, a lot of people with a good heart are really being hurt by their kindness some people don't have conscience by not being good at repaying their loans on or before the due time which is very bad, it is good to secure your finance and peace of mind.