Who deserves the title ‘parent’

[DubemIfedigbo001]

Often times we hear stories of people who were abandoned by their biological parent probably due to one or many unjustifiable reasons, they chose to stay out of the child's life, having abandoned them when the children needed them most from their infant years to their formation years, the absence of the parents in these important years leaves a deep scar in the lives and development of the children and most of them grow up with a deep sense of loneliness and abandonment, some end up hating the gender of the parent that abandoned them and developing cold feet towards them, especially when they see the parent that stayed struggle to fill in the dual role of which we know it is hardly possible for one parent to play the role of the two perfectly.

Then coincidentally, there are situations where another person steps in to play the missing role that was abandoned by the should be parent, and the person shows up consistently and bonds very well with the child, giving him the completeness they need to form well into a emotionally, physically and psychologically balanced adult. In that scenario, the person becomes the parent this child knows alongside the other parent that stayed with the child.

On a twist of fate, if the other biological parent shows up sometime in the future and tries to claim parenthood of the child he previously abandoned, thinking he can get that position back based on biological relationships.

In that scenario who deserves the title ‘parent’, the one who gave you life, or the one who stood by you through it?

Got inspired by this story of of girl abandoned be her biological father when she was 4 hours old , please read before replying

[BADecker]

This post leaves the more important question unanswered. With so much CPS corruption going on, who should have more authority than the parents? And who should dictate that authority?

[Charles-Tim]

The girl is 18 years, it is left for her to decide. I am very sure she is not going to accept him as his father, although nothing can change someone's biological father.

If the father later accepts his mistake because I did not read the story in full, the girl can forgive him, but his father will still be Obinna as she sees his mother brother (Obinna) as his father.

This is how some people have two fathers. When I was young, I will say she should not forgive him, but as I grow older and understand more about life, I see no reason she should not forgive him, but provided if the father know he made mistakes. But as he did not involved in her upbringing, he should accept his fate because who that girl will see as the main father is Obinna.

This is just one story, there are some that can be complicated than this. Each one would be treated differently.

[Sexylizzy2813]

If you talk about children that are being abandoned, honestly is hard to say this should be the person we have to blame, either the father or the mother. Some if not many of this decisions are made out of not knowing how to be a perfect father/mother or not having the funds to take care of the children or child as the case may be. This is the same thing that causes abortion while some mother give birth and suffer all alone and the story mother's tell the child might not be what really happened for the father not to be in the picture. And that is why some girls hate boys so much and choose not to do anything with men same as the boys too. There are too many stories why some decisions are taken by fathers and mothers.
Yes you are right, in some cases, other parents that are looking for a child can adopt and play that perfect role of being the mother and father of the abandoned child, the love, protection and attention they give to the child as if he or she is their own can even erase the idea of the child thinking that he or she doesn't have any body to call mum or dad, at least the people who is available in his or her life as a child is enough.
Again, concerning abandoning a child, girl or boy I'd say is out of fear, we shouldn't let fear be in control of how we want to live our lives because 1 thing we should remember and always have in mind is that while having sex there was nothing like fear just HAVING FUN and we never have that thought of "how will I cope if she gets pregnant (for the guys)? Can I be able to endure the pressure and get everything the baby needs if I get pregnant after sex (for the girls)?", is hard to think of all these things.... We should consider all these before making some decisions and end up making innocent child feel abandoned.

[Charcol]

When a child needs the most care, protection and emotional support, if his parents are not around, then in my opinion, the person who is by his side at that time and alleviates his fears and suffering is the one who actually plays the role of a guardian. Because while biological relationship is important, guardianship has to be proven through responsibility, presence, love, sacrifice and continuity. No one can claim the full status of being a guardian just because they gave birth.

[Y3shot]

Biological parents will remain the authentic parents of their own children even if they are not present in the lives of their children. If someone adopts a child and raises the child as their own, they can consider themselves parents because they play the role of parents. At the same time, if the biological parents show up, it doesn't mean they have lost their parental right to claim the child. This has to do with blood, which cannot be taken away, and it doesn’t mean that just because the biological parents are around, the person who has been there taking care of the child won't be considered for the role they played.

[Dunamisx]

Often times we hear stories of people who were abandoned by their biological parent probably due to one or many unjustifiable reasons, they chose to stay out of the child's life, having abandoned them when the children needed them most from their infant years to their formation years, the absence of the parents in these important years leaves a deep scar in the lives and development of the children and most of them grow up with a deep sense of loneliness and abandonment, some end up hating the gender of the parent that abandoned them and developing cold feet towards them, especially when they see the parent that stayed struggle to fill in the dual role of which we know it is hardly possible for one parent to play the role of the two perfectly.

They could be two reasons to why you will discover a parent abandoning their children, one is genuine to them but not an ideal option, while the other is out of stupidity and lack of sensible thinking ability.

Let me start from the first one, some parents have to abandon their children not because the dislike having them or want to run away from their responsibilities, instead they choose to do so in order for them to pursue after a greener pasture so as to Carter for the family, but I will still go against it because, some of these children they left behind so far a lot from those that we are saddled with the responsibility of taking care of them, because they can't still perform up to 100% of what the parent can do.

The second aspect are those kind of parents that abandoned their children willingly just to be able to run away from responsibilities, could be because of the Father negligence to take care of the child or the mother irresponsibility to afford the mother to child relationship, there could be many reasons why a woman can decided to live her own child and abandoned her anywhere, but this is not ideal and very bad to see parents do, be its father or the mother, some of these children have a brighter future that would have been the reason to elevate the parents from their challenges and they don't know.

[Mhizlove]

This post leaves the more important question unanswered. With so much CPS corruption going on, who should have more authority than the parents? And who should dictate that authority?

In addition I will say that, the challenge is finding the right balance between the external oversight and parental authority. Because you see parents usually knows their children well enough that anyone, but there are situations whereby independent institutions still plays a role an important role in the life of children or protecting their welfare. The major concern here is not about who has absolute power but how to create a system with a enough accountability to prevent abuse from all angles. So no single group should have unchecked power.

[Spaceman1000$]

Often times we hear stories of people who were abandoned by their biological parent probably due to one or many unjustifiable reasons, they chose to stay out of the child's life, having abandoned them when the children needed them most from their infant years to their formation years, the absence of the parents in these important years leaves a deep scar in the lives and development of the children and most of them grow up with a deep sense of loneliness and abandonment, some end up hating the gender of the parent that abandoned them and developing cold feet towards them, especially when they see the parent that stayed struggle to fill in the dual role of which we know it is hardly possible for one parent to play the role of the two perfectly.

Then coincidentally, there are situations where another person steps in to play the missing role that was abandoned by the should be parent, and the person shows up consistently and bonds very well with the child, giving him the completeness they need to form well into a emotionally, physically and psychologically balanced adult. In that scenario, the person becomes the parent this child knows alongside the other parent that stayed with the child.

On a twist of fate, if the other biological parent shows up sometime in the future and tries to claim parenthood of the child he previously abandoned, thinking he can get that position back based on biological relationships.

In that scenario who deserves the title ‘parent’, the one who gave you life, or the one who stood by you through it?

Got inspired by this story of of girl abandoned be her biological father when she was 4 hours old , please read before replying

I feel if the matter is being taken to court, The judge might analyze the situation and give a judgement that will favor the person that stepped in to play the role of parents, because upon resuming that position the person has been able to properly take care of the child without any hitches, this is because the most important part of taking care of a child involves financial stability and emotional attachment to that child and if the person has been able to provide all of these, then it's obvious that he has so far handled the situation as a biological parents would have done. But however the situation is quite confusing because biologically some children would want to supposedly start getting close to their biological parents after they've attained adulthood.

[programmer3666]

By all standards, being a parent is more than just giving birth to a child. The title of a parent should also come with responsibility, sacrifice, love and being present in the child's life. Imagine if a father abandons his child when the child is a baby and another man steps in, raises the child, pays school fees, gives guidance and stays through the difficult years, it is only natural that the child will see that person as a real parent. Biology may make someone a father or mother, but actions are what truly earn the title of parent. But that doesn't mean the biological parent can never reconnect, but they cannot simply disappear for years and expect everything to return to normal because of blood ties alone. Respect and trust have to be earned.

[Findingnemo]

It is not about who deserves it but what the law says, because it all depends on the legality when it comes to deciding such a thing. Most likely, the biological parent will be given the parental rights unless the rights are terminated by court due to incompatibility of being a parent or prolonged abandonment and others can claim only if they legally adopted a kid, not by simply raising one.

But the question is who deserves it, goes to the one who stood with them all these years, helped them to grow and get the necessary guidance needed and if lucky they even managed to build an emotional bond.

[passwordnow]

IMHO, the girl or whoever is in the same situation will call and accept the parent that have been with them through all the hardships until they understand their situation and life. While the biological parents remain to be their parents in paper and biologically, they can be disowned or treated as if they're trash just like how they've treated the kid when they were young and left them. It's hard to be in that situation and letting it be to the person involved to decide it.

[Iamgoat]

When a child needs the most care, protection and emotional support, if his parents are not around, then in my opinion, the person who is by his side at that time and alleviates his fears and suffering is the one who actually plays the role of a guardian. Because while biological relationship is important, guardianship has to be proven through responsibility, presence, love, sacrifice and continuity. No one can claim the full status of being a guardian just because they gave birth.

As a matter of fact to me , a guardian who took care and nurtured a child has more value and importance to the child than the biological father. Being able to give birth to a child is one thing and being able to take good care of the child to the point of them growing into becoming somebody is another thing entirely and the latter is more important and should be accord more respect than the earlier. Meanwhile, it does not mean you should ignore or disrespect the parent. If you also ask me, who should be in custody or should be crown with a bigger crown than the biological father because what makes you a full fledged parent is not your ability to give birth to a child only but also your ability to foster them to become an important person tomorrow.

[Merit.s]

What a touching story. The girl has already chosen Obinna her uncle as her father from the information that I got from the story because she proved it there when are biological father came to reclaim his position. She wrote it on her white shirt.

It sucks to see how people abandon their partners at the time of difficulty and come back when they're successful. Life isn't like that. You suffer together and be successful together.

[Queen uloma]

Parenthood is not by blood. Giving birth to a child is another thing, but being there when the child needs love, guidance, protection and care is another different thing. If a parent decides to abandoned his or her child for years, especially when the child needs the both parents. it will leave a big scar in their heart. During this period if someone decides to adopt a child, or be a mother figure to the child, show love, care, sacrifice, and always support the child, eventually that person will automatically become the parent of that child. So even if that child’s biological parent shows up, it doesn’t mean that he or she can possibility take the child away from the person who took care of the child. Because the person was present, took the child as his or her, so you coming back to claim ownership of the child you left won’t work. This does not mean that the biological parent does not deserve a chance to reconnect with your child but in a situation like this, the relationship should be built gradually and with humanity not by ownership.

[Agbamoni]

Parenting is derived from the word parent. Now, this is the definition of parenting obtained from Microsoft Bing: Parenting is the process of raising and caring for a child. It includes providing for a child's physical, emotional, social, and educational needs from infancy through adulthood.. Any man or woman who was not involved in this process does not deserve to be called a parent. Such a person can be referred to as a mother or a father, not a parent. A parent is not a title for someone who is involved in sexual intercourse that led to the birth of a child.

[noorman0]

A biological father is still a parent, and the question is no different if the scenario involves the parent's death. But reality will determine who deserves credit or blame, regardless of status. Don't assume that major mistakes will cease to haunt your psychology; they happen every second, every step of the way. And the ultimate regret will come when they are unable to do anything in old age.

[Akbarkoe]

Biologically, parents are their biological parents but morally, they deserve to be their parents are the people who have taken care of them until they grow up, it is very heartless if their parents leave them when they are small without giving anything to take care of their children, this may be a different case when their parents go to work and other people take care of them, then their parents are still worthy of being their parents from any point of view, but when they meet their children when they grow up it is very silly and will only make the hearts hurt of the people who care for them especially if they know that the child was abandoned by the biological parents before.

[EluguHcman]

In that scenario who deserves the title ‘parent’, the one who gave you life, or the one who stood by you through it?

You say title? That depend on the aspect of presentation. Of course there is Foster and Biological parenting and all deserves the title as a parent.

Blood is thicket than water that no matter the circumstances, the gene of the biological parents will always match with that of that of the child which can not be denied when justified ethically.

The one that adopted the child is entitled to be a parent because without the caring and the provisions of the forster parent, the child may either not have been alive to still represent someone's child whose parents may be claiming as their child.
Perhaps the foster parents deserves the acknowledgement as parent when the children grows up and be given accounts of his life and achievements because they made it possible and realistic for him or her from the childhood where the biological parents were not there

[o48o]

Biological parents will remain the authentic parents of their own children even if they are not present in the lives of their children. If someone adopts a child and raises the child as their own, they can consider themselves parents because they play the role of parents. At the same time, if the biological parents show up, it doesn't mean they have lost their parental right to claim the child. This has to do with blood, which cannot be taken away, and it doesn’t mean that just because the biological parents are around, the person who has been there taking care of the child won't be considered for the role they played.

Did you even read the article? Blood doesn't mean squat if you abandon your kids, and showing up in graduation and making up a scene. Only a narcissist dad would even assume that kids that have never even seen him would be happy and welcoming him back, without even an explanation. And walking into graduation, interrupting it and making it about basically himself is a giveaway why he wasn't around in the first place

Man-child who don't want to handle responsibility wants to take credit for having a graduate as a daughter? I can't even imagine the disbelief that girl probably was at that moment.