‎Is knowing your fiance or fiancee a gambler a big red flag?

[TheUltraElite]

When you are getting married to someone you also get married to all their good and bad and their family. You have to help them get out of any bad stuff that they might be clinging on to. The ones who are looking for marriage might want to avoid any possible matches that are into gambling but in case you find it out later, work it out and try to get them off gambling in order to keep the family finances stable.

Because the long term effect on the family and the upcoming kids is going to be bad hence this problem needs to be taken care of seriously.

[imthegreat]

‎Just as the topic implies, I wonder how big a red flag it is, if you find out or your intended spouse funds out that you occasionally still gamble as a habit or gamble as a part time hobby of sort.
Hence the question, is knowing your fiance or fiancee a gambler a real big red flag when deciding to marry them?
‎

It all depends on how strong the marriage is and how much the spouses need each other economically. I mean, if the wife reacts strongly negatively to her husband's gambling, there are two possible scenarios for preserving such a marriage. First, if she loves him and married him for love, she'll likely talk him out of gambling to avoid the risk of her husband becoming addicted. But if the wife doesn't work and is economically dependent on her husband, she'll simply remain silent because she has no choice but to stay away and not go against her husband's hobby.

[impulse709]

If that was the case then everyone would be red flags, it would have made more sense if you were just asking about addicted gamblers but you are talking about every type of gambling and that includes a greater percentage of the population so if someone who gambles is a red flag then you probably won't see anyone else but I suppose everyone has a right to their choices in these matters, if s person doesn't want to be with someone who gambles then it's their choice to make.

You are right, everyone got the right to do whatever thing they want, which means one can decides to choose who they want to be with, whether the person its a gambler or not. Nevertheless its essential for one to always display the act of self-control each time they gamble, it doesn't mean that gambling itself isn't the red flag but losing control is, that's why one should discipline themselves by controlling their emotions or their minds towards gambling.

I do agree that it is not a red flag just because someone is a gambler, many people gamble at times, but it doesn't mean that it impacts their personal relationships or lives. The actual problem starts when a person becomes addicted to gambling and loses control of him or herself. An addicted gambler can cover up his or her losses, forget to pay bills. Or take financial risks that can hurt the relationship. Self-discipline is the key to responsible gambling and avoiding harmful use of gambling. Gambling should not be a measure of their character if they can do it as a form of entertainment. Stick to a budget and never let it disrupt their commitments. The bottom line is that honesty. Responsibility and self-control are much more important than the gambling itself.

[bubilas]

‎Just as the topic implies, I wonder how big a red flag it is, if you find out or your intended spouse funds out that you occasionally still gamble as a habit or gamble as a part time hobby of sort.
Hence the question, is knowing your fiance or fiancee a gambler a real big red flag when deciding to marry them?
‎

It all depends on how strong the marriage is and how much the spouses need each other economically. I mean, if the wife reacts strongly negatively to her husband's gambling, there are two possible scenarios for preserving such a marriage. First, if she loves him and married him for love, she'll likely talk him out of gambling to avoid the risk of her husband becoming addicted. But if the wife doesn't work and is economically dependent on her husband, she'll simply remain silent because she has no choice but to stay away and not go against her husband's hobby.

Maintaining a relationship where spouses are financially dependent on each other isn't a healthy way to be together. I believe that spouses should be together voluntarily, and this can be achieved if both are well-off and working. Then neither is dependent on the other for financial reasons. Gambling introduces many variables into such relationships, as in some couples, both spouses are addicted. And sometimes, only one. But in most cases, the wife will dissuade her husband from gambling, as society disapproves of the topic.

[CryptoYar]

It relies completely on size and the openness surrounding it. In terms of gambling, person who gambles sometimes, such as on football weekend or at casino once in a while, is not any different from someone who spends money on few football tickets or single night at casino. If it is under control, budgeted and has no impact on finances and relationships, it might be overreaction to call it red flag.

The real red flag is NOT the gambling but the hiding of it. As long as someone hides it from their partner, this says more about character than habit does. A lack of financial honesty is one of the bases of healthy marriage and secret gambling breaks that rule. Real problem starts when there is addiction that is becoming problem, debts that are piling up and lying to hide losses. That mix is real problem no matter what it is habit of. Open sharing of fun gambling is discussion. If there is problem with gambling, it will be deal breaker if it is kept secret.

[michellee]

That is red flag but I will talk to my fiancee about his gambling habit. I don't want this becomes a problem to our marriage later so I prefer to solve it immediately. By talking deeply, we can negotiating and select the method or other ways and if my fiancee still want to gamble, I will asks my fiancee to reduce gambling activity and only gamble weekend.

But we will figure out the way solving about gamble as a free activity but with watching each other. We will take care and reminds each other if that is almost break the limits. We don't want gambling becomes a problem and makes our marriage ruins.

[DrBeer]

‎Just as the topic implies, I wonder how big a red flag it is, if you find out or your intended spouse funds out that you occasionally still gamble as a habit or gamble as a part time hobby of sort.
Hence the question, is knowing your fiance or fiancee a gambler a real big red flag when deciding to marry them?
‎

It becomes a problem if your partner is addicted to gambling, viewing it as a source of regular income, or fervently believing that he’ll hit the jackpot.
If it’s just a form of entertainment-with a limited budget, some ground rules, and so on-then it’s simply a controlled and safe pastime! In the first case, I wouldn’t take the risk In the second, it’s still worth discussing this issue, since it poses a risk to the family due to the additional expenses.

[Obim34]

‎Just as the topic implies, I wonder how big a red flag it is, if you find out or your intended spouse funds out that you occasionally still gamble as a habit or gamble as a part time hobby of sort.
Hence the question, is knowing your fiance or fiancee a gambler a real big red flag when deciding to marry them?
‎

Isn't hypocrisy if you don't like what others are doing, but yourself is doing the same.

I'm a gambler, not an addicted gambler, therefore, if my partner also likes to gamble but doing so responsibly, just the way i do too, I don't think it is anything of a red flag. Yes, I will marry her, and i believe we both can help ourselves not to become addicted.

[YellowSwap]

If you meet a careless gambler you will know that they are careless, nothing about them will work out and they will never be able to keep their words and also keep time, addicted people have this habit.

Some of them are always in constant worries too, there will be sign, it's also better you find out before settling down with them than they turning into a gambler after you are together.

I know of a couple whom ended up losing everything after 5 years of successful marriage, the husband was influenced by a long lost friend from school days, the day they met again was the doomed day for him.

Today he still says that how he wished he never met his old friend ever again, he started selling his properties because of gambling because at first he won something big.

This was how he lost his marriage later and he is never balanced again up till now.

[Zadicar]

‎Just as the topic implies, I wonder how big a red flag it is, if you find out or your intended spouse funds out that you occasionally still gamble as a habit or gamble as a part time hobby of sort.
Hence the question, is knowing your fiance or fiancee a gambler a real big red flag when deciding to marry them?
‎

If I do able to witness or know that my finance is a gambler then i will definitely be having that kind of in-depth talks or discussion about it. Also, im a kind of person on which if there are things that turned out to be a red flag then i do easily get discouraged and might be ending up on having no plans to pursue further for the marriage if this is the case. Some might be that too perfectionist about it when they decide to separate or break because of this issue but there's nothing we can do since we do have our decisions and preference in life. There are those who dont mind since they do love the person on which its understandable and we do have those thoughts that a person could change, but there are those people who do think that they wont and would really be a problem in the future if ever they would be building their own family. This is why its important that you should really be knowing totally your wife to be while you are still on the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship status so that you wont be get off-guard on times like this.

[lovesmayfamilis]

If the decision to marry is based on a very short period of time, then even if you have a partner who does not gamble, you can make a big mistake. Everything should always come gradually, meaning the decision to start a family. For example, how does your partner feel about money, where does he get it, and how quickly does he part with it? All these things are very visible on the "relationship surface." One way or another, a person will show himself aggressive or greedy, or he may be very stingy in order to take all the money to the casino. When creating a family, you don't need to rely solely on feelings, you always need to turn on your brain and analyze how a person might behave in a given situation.

[DubemIfedigbo001]

When you are getting married to someone you also get married to all their good and bad and their family. You have to help them get out of any bad stuff that they might be clinging on to. The ones who are looking for marriage might want to avoid any possible matches that are into gambling but in case you find it out later, work it out and try to get them off gambling in order to keep the family finances stable.

Because the long term effect on the family and the upcoming kids is going to be bad hence this problem needs to be taken care of seriously.

From what I understood in the OP, the gambler isn't automatically in a bad shape already, he is only gambling occasionally. My girlfriend used to gamble earlier when we met, but her discipline is that she never funds her balance by herself so she doesn't get addicted and loose money, I fund her sometimes still from my budget. It's about the level of control the partner exerts, if they're not gambling irresponsibly, it's no big deal, sometimes gambling together brings about a lot of fun.

[Dr.Bitcoin_Strange]

If this person is a regular gambler who is always gambling at all time or at any opportunity they have, I would consider it a red flag for myself because for people that plays like that, the chance to get addiction is high, but if it's someone that just play occasionally, I don't have any problem because they don't take gambling as the best hobby.

[xenomorfo]

When you are getting married to someone you also get married to all their good and bad and their family. You have to help them get out of any bad stuff that they might be clinging on to. The ones who are looking for marriage might want to avoid any possible matches that are into gambling but in case you find it out later, work it out and try to get them off gambling in order to keep the family finances stable.

Because the long term effect on the family and the upcoming kids is going to be bad hence this problem needs to be taken care of seriously.

This is why i don't like marriage, there are all these rules, the family as you say, you get married with its assets. i don't like all these rules at all.
If I'm with someone i want to be only with them, I'm not interested in the side dish.
It worked in my case, and it still works now.

[Queen uloma]

Knowing if your fiance or your fiancee  always gamble doesn’t automatically mean that it’s a Red flag. What matters is how the person gamble and the level of control that a person has over gambling. If the person is gambling for fun and he  can control gambling without it affecting his or her  finance, relationship or responsibilities, I don’t see it as a big deal. But if the person borrows money to gamble, use money that’s meant for other bills to gamble, continually chasing after losses or gambling excessively that’s a serious red flag. Because marriage needs trust, discipline, and responsibility. So, gambling itself is not the issue, but  it is the person’s relationship with gambling that’s the problem. A Responsible gambler can make a good spouse but addicted gambler can bring financial problems into marriage.

[MArsland]

‎Just as the topic implies, I wonder how big a red flag it is, if you find out or your intended spouse funds out that you occasionally still gamble as a habit or gamble as a part time hobby of sort.
Hence the question, is knowing your fiance or fiancee a gambler a real big red flag when deciding to marry them?
‎

Based on my personal opinion, if we are in that position, that our partner still likes to gamble, it is better to try to rest the relationship first before continuing to the level of marriage. I would advise him to consult a professional and recover himself first. Maybe that sounds judgmental but it's all done for the common good. I would not be quick to make the decision to end the relationship, as long as it can still be fixed together then it is worth fighting for.

[coin-investor]

‎Just as the topic implies, I wonder how big a red flag it is, if you find out or your intended spouse funds out that you occasionally still gamble as a habit or gamble as a part time hobby of sort.
Hence the question, is knowing your fiance or fiancee a gambler a real big red flag when deciding to marry them?
‎

I have to investigate how much money and time she spent, and if she can stop it if we get married. I don't want something that will disturb us in our married life, and gambling for entertainment could lead to gambling for profit, which could result in the other party being addicted.
I consider it a red flag if he is losing a lot, but if she has been responsibly managing it for a long time, then it's something I can accept.

[348Judah]

I don't think we need to discover that our partner is into gambling by ourselves, if the trust is there in a relationship then they should be able to express themselves and what they do to each other, but for you to have discovered it on your own shows a little sense of being not fully transparent enough in that relationship, gambling is not the worst thing to do because it is fun, but being unaccountable is the serious issue that may be involved between the two partners in a relationship.

[Ummeettaa]

‎Just as the topic implies, I wonder how big a red flag it is, if you find out or your intended spouse funds out that you occasionally still gamble as a habit or gamble as a part time hobby of sort.
Hence the question, is knowing your fiance or fiancee a gambler a real big red flag when deciding to marry them?
‎

It is very disastrous and disappointing for someone to fine out that his/her fiance or fiancee gambles whether occasionally or part of the person's habit.

For someone's fiance to be a gambler either occasionally or a chronic gambler is a red flag that when they gets married, he might likely not take on his responsibility as he should after the marriage.

Not to talk of if someone's fiancee is an occasional or chronic gambler, that tops the list of irresponsibilities and a very big red flag for a woman to be a gambler, if I am to find out that my spouse is a gambler that will be the end of the intended marriage.

[Bright0515]

It depends on the level of gambling, if we are talking about gambling addiction then that's a big red flag and it is something that should be taken seriously, although everyone has their own view if what a red flag is, to some gambling itself even if the gambler isn't addicted to gambling they would still be considered as a red flag. There are people that get married to people that are of likeminds with them, if two people are gamblers then that would not be a problem. This is why it's important to choose people that can understand you.