Does over pampering prevent children of seeing the realities of life

[PhilosopherKing]

It is good to teach your children how to do everything, but the way some very rich people brought up their children can be very different. Especially if the child is a boy and not a girl and in some cases also girls. Some parents prefer their children to know more about their business when they grow to certain age. If some rich men's children tell your that they are suffering and explain to you, you will even be wondering that it is not suffering at all but enjoyment.

House girl and house boy doing the whole job for them, that is why this rich men children can't do anything. Even if you are rich I don't use to support this house help doing everything in the house. I have friend that is going dry cleaner, he used to guys me of the numbers of boxers and ladies tights that he used to wash. I already told him to stop collecting it because those are private and because that is what the customers are supposed to be washing themselves. What that my guy told me was what is his business, so far say them dey pay him his own money then ba wahala.

Parent should learn to teach their children house chore and quit allowing their house help do everything. This will help to reduce bunches of lazy grown up adults who are as lazy as a pig that can't do anything on their own without a house help. House help of these days are even becoming evil, some can even poison you or do anything they want simply because you offended them.

[o48o]

It is good for us to share our knowledge on our experience on this topic, so that it can also educate others and shaping any one that is going out of track the can destroy someone futures, because this portion Bible that  said in Proverbs 22:6.Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it, it is very obvious that most parents do neglect this portion of Bible because I'm talking out experience when my uncle son came to living with us in House, and during his stay with us, i was able to notice that this cousin of mine couldn't do anything for himself, things like washing his plate, washing his clothes or sweeping the room that will both do sleep, and till the day i ask him the reason behind all the characters he exhibit and reply and said that he parents doesn't all him to do anything in relation to house choice and there are many things he can't do on his own that i just wish to mention few points.

So parents should not over pamper their children because too pampering can cause harm than good to any child.

I don't think there's a person in the world who would think it's a good idea. There's no parenting book claiming that it is and i haven't talked with any parents who would think it's a good idea.

Whole word is supposed to have a negative connotation, so who is defending that?

But i do understand why some parents fail. Because rising kids is hard work, and when their kids have tantrums, or when they act incompetent, parents might be just too tired and give up. They do the work for their kids or give up other ways. That's a huge disservice for the future of the child, because they learn that they are entitled to get anything by being aggressive or by playing dumb.

As a side note i don't believe in the bible, but if someone does, i don't understand how they can just pick and choose what parts they are supposed to follow.

[icebar]

Many parents among us do not understand the difference between loving a child and overindulging him. @OP From the incident of your cousin, it can be understood that if others do all the household chores, the child does not get the opportunity to learn any work on his own and gradually becomes dependent on others. If you teach the child to organize his own things, help with small household chores and do some of his own work from an early age, he will gradually learn to do his own work without depending on others.

I do not think there is a need to keep the child under strict discipline here, or to impose extra work on him. Rather, he should be given the opportunity to do some work according to his age and should be patient and teach him to do it if he makes a mistake. Many times, parents do not let the child do any work thinking that it will be difficult, but later in life, that child will have to rely on others to solve simple problems. Therefore, teaching the child to understand the responsibilities of real life little by little from an early age can be much more beneficial than keeping the child away from all kinds of difficulties.

[Nanga Parbat]

It is good to teach your children how to do everything, but the way some very rich people brought up their children can be very different. Especially if the child is a boy and not a girl and in some cases also girls. Some parents prefer their children to know more about their business when they grow to certain age. If some rich men's children tell your that they are suffering and explain to you, you will even be wondering that it is not suffering at all but enjoyment.

Taking  good care of kids is good thing, but pampering too much would be harmful for them. It is a behaviour that's prevent kids from learning harshness of the life. They always need care taker for the survival, the ability to face public criticism, mocking any obstacles of their way to progress shattered them deeply because they never learned how to deal challenges.

Once i have read a column of psychiatrist who shared about his son's death reason. She explained that she had always tried to available for her son in every difficulty, i was very over protective mother, wanted to give solution of his problems. When he grew old, at age of 16 he committed suicide. I found a written note where he wrote that you are a great mother of me, but you never taught me how to handle my situation my own. As you are psychiatrist but your too much involvement never helped him to developed the strength or become strong man.

It is good to keep deep sight on them or aware about their activities but not compulsory to inform them about it. Let them in world of sea or let them learn all on their own. As we have observed in our surroundings that lower middle class kids usually have strong stamina or brave enough because they face the challenges from very little age, they learn to fight or find the solution of their circumstances.

[Judith87403]

We live in an era where most parents sees disciplining their children as a punishment instead of correction. Everyone of us who didn't grow up in a rich home wants to get rich so that our children can enjoy the things we never enjoyed while we were young. Nothing is wrong in pampering a child or your children, spoiling them with gifts and soft life but in doing that, also make them to understand that "life is not a bed of roses" so they will grow up with the awareness that they also have to put in work and efforts in order to make money and become responsible. Over pampering is not good for a child, when they do silly things you should correct them either by beating them or by a minor punishment so that they will know that they have done something bad. Teach them manners and how to respect people in the society. I rich family that I know had 2 kids and this two kids are always insulting their house maid which is a sign that their mother also insults and abuse the maid which is why the children emulated their mother. We should teach our children good morals and also teach them to be humble and respectful.

[JoyceBTC]

Any way we train our child, that’s definitely how they will grow. If parents train them to be useful, they will become useful and if parents train them to be useless, they will surely become useless. The parents has the bigger role in the upbringing of a child while the people around that child will also play their little role in shaping that child and if the parents fail in some basic things to correct their child, it is very hard for an outsider to put them through or correct them because they will believe the path their parents has shown them is the right way.
Pampering of a child is not bad, but I believe everything should have limit, when they are wrong, correct them and don’t just turn a blind eye to them because in future it will surely affect them.

[Salahmu]

It is good for us to share our knowledge on our experience on this topic, so that it can also educate others and shaping any one that is going out of track the can destroy someone futures, because this portion Bible that  said in Proverbs 22:6.Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it, it is very obvious that most parents do neglect this portion of Bible because I'm talking out experience when my uncle son came to living with us in House, and during his stay with us, i was able to notice that this cousin of mine couldn't do anything for himself, things like washing his plate, washing his clothes or sweeping the room that will both do sleep, and till the day i ask him the reason behind all the characters he exhibit and reply and said that he parents doesn't all him to do anything

Some of the things most parents are doing to their children might seem to them like they're the best parents for not allowing their children do anything for themselves but they forgot to think about how the future of that child would be when they will not be there with the Child then, actually a lot of people are suffering today because of their upbringing and to me that's the worst parenting because there should always be something a child could do for themselves aside from somebody assisting them, so that's why even if a parent has money is important to allow the children learn some basic chores because in as much as nobody is wishing to be poor but the future is always unforseen so every child is meant to be taught properly how to handle things.

[Homemade-IQ]

Having the basic skills of cooking, cleaning and washing is what all reasonable person should know how to do, so if your cousin doesn't not know how to do such things, then he is still far from knowing how life works, because he cannot stay alone or fend for himself like that.

If that is what you call pampering, then I think that it's wrong because failing to train your child on how to live a proper life, and how to fend for himself without no assistance is not pampering, but it is failing your parental duties.

[Popkon6]

Look, there are many things that you can do with your eyes, which you can only do with your eyes, if you do not have your own willpower, then you will never be able to do that work. So, how hard you are depends on your own willpower, many people spend their time in laziness, this is their personal problem. So in the current situation, you can give yourself more time, you can learn the work that you see from a young age,
but there are some things that you have to learn with the help of others, you can do these things if you have your own willpower to learn. If someone stops you from gaining education, you need to wait, because you know that you have to change your future yourself, so you should focus on work.

[HelliumZ]

Yes, I think that the more you pamper your child, the more he will be late in understanding the reality of the environment. If you teach your child to travel in a car from a young age and do not teach him to walk for short distances, then he will forget the significance of walking when he grows up. If your child cannot adapt to the environment, then he will lose the ability to fight in a hostile environment when he grows up. For this, children should be raised from a young age in such a way that they can handle themselves in any situation and learn to master all the qualities that can sustain themselves. For this, from a young age, with extra care, sometimes something should be done so that he himself understands what is hostile in the environment? He should sometimes be made to understand scarcity, he should sometimes understand the significance of hunger, he should sometimes understand how people survive in hostile environments, he should be made to understand how he has to move without the help of others. If he is taught in this way from a young age, then he will definitely be able to adapt to the environment when he grows up.

[Anayochukwu]

Many parents these days now do what they call "gentle parenting"  and I will never agree to that style because my parents never raised my siblings and I that way and we all turned out good, the Bible says spare the rod and spoil the child and I'm not ready to bear the consequences of having a spoilt child. I have kids and I'm doing the best to prepare them for the outside world and I'm preparing them and teaching them how to survive when they are not longer staying with me, there's college and other things for them to explore and there will be no body there with them to wash their dishes or do their laundry so they have to learn and I start teaching them at a very young age.

[DYOR+BTC]

Many parents these days now do what they call "gentle parenting"  and I will never agree to that style because my parents never raised my siblings and I that way and we all turned out good, the Bible says spare the rod and spoil the child and I'm not ready to bear the consequences of having a spoilt child. I have kids and I'm doing the best to prepare them for the outside world and I'm preparing them and teaching them how to survive when they are not longer staying with me, there's college and other things for them to explore and there will be no body there with them to wash their dishes or do their laundry so they have to learn and I start teaching them at a very young age.

Its nice choosing not to spare the rod because it will spoil the child,  to me i don't think punishment or flogging can kill children,  if it can that means we all won't have been in existence today because my African parents raised me in a strong way.
Flogging children doesn't mean they will be harm but just to correct the child and direct him to the right path, therefore anyone going with that will raise children with solid character.  I am still confused where this gently up bringing came from as children will insult there parents and nothing will be done to them, that is completely wrong.  Raising children with that lifestyle will end up destroying them instead of helping them

[Hispo]

...

So parents should not over pamper their children because too pampering can cause harm than good to any child.

I agree.
Life is rough and children are supposed to be ready to face reality of life as they get older, their parents won't be there forever for them, after all. So they need to be taught how to deal with relationships, money, jobs, alcogol, tobacco, drugs and other things they will eventually find along the way.

Parents who are over-protective and pamper their children will eventually just result on those children becoming non-functioning adults and prey for human predators in the cities and towns of our countries.

That applies to both developing countries and also developed countries.

[Stive009]

Being loving adoring and condoning every mistake a child makes is not the same. Parents' responsibility not only to make their child happy, but also to teach her discipline responsibility and to do work by herself. This way when a child grows up he or she will face the challenges of reality much easier if taught to take responsibility from an early age according to his or her age. Parents can not be with their children forever therefore parents should be raised in a way that they will be able to make their own decisions and understand their responsibilities when they leave. Discipline however doesn't mean being strict or intimidating with love it is also essential to explain the consequences of errors and to establish the required limits. For me, being a good parent is not only about loving your child but is also about helping to develop Her into a good person that can go in the right direction even if you are not around.

[Swordsoffreedom]

Many parents these days now do what they call "gentle parenting"  and I will never agree to that style because my parents never raised my siblings and I that way and we all turned out good, the Bible says spare the rod and spoil the child and I'm not ready to bear the consequences of having a spoilt child. I have kids and I'm doing the best to prepare them for the outside world and I'm preparing them and teaching them how to survive when they are not longer staying with me, there's college and other things for them to explore and there will be no body there with them to wash their dishes or do their laundry so they have to learn and I start teaching them at a very young age.

Its nice choosing not to spare the rod because it will spoil the child,  to me i don't think punishment or flogging can kill children,  if it can that means we all won't have been in existence today because my African parents raised me in a strong way.
Flogging children doesn't mean they will be harm but just to correct the child and direct him to the right path, therefore anyone going with that will raise children with solid character.  I am still confused where this gently up bringing came from as children will insult there parents and nothing will be done to them, that is completely wrong.  Raising children with that lifestyle will end up destroying them instead of helping them

Gentle parenting is not the same as permissive parenting , tho. It does not mean letting kids insult their parents and get away with it. Parents can still set rules and boundaries and discipline their kid without resorting to physical punishment.

Don't confuse a kid who listens because he's  scared of getting hit with a kid who actually understands right from wrong.

Different strokes  for different folks, so I can't speak for how you raise yours. But for me, goal is to help them think for themselves, control their own behavior, and take responsibility for their actions, not just obey their parents. So discipline is necessary ,  but you  don't have to hit your kids to raise them right.

[DYOR+BTC]

Many parents these days now do what they call "gentle parenting"  and I will never agree to that style because my parents never raised my siblings and I that way and we all turned out good, the Bible says spare the rod and spoil the child and I'm not ready to bear the consequences of having a spoilt child. I have kids and I'm doing the best to prepare them for the outside world and I'm preparing them and teaching them how to survive when they are not longer staying with me, there's college and other things for them to explore and there will be no body there with them to wash their dishes or do their laundry so they have to learn and I start teaching them at a very young age.

Its nice choosing not to spare the rod because it will spoil the child,  to me i don't think punishment or flogging can kill children,  if it can that means we all won't have been in existence today because my African parents raised me in a strong way.
Flogging children doesn't mean they will be harm but just to correct the child and direct him to the right path, therefore anyone going with that will raise children with solid character.  I am still confused where this gently up bringing came from as children will insult there parents and nothing will be done to them, that is completely wrong.  Raising children with that lifestyle will end up destroying them instead of helping them

Gentle parenting is not the same as permissive parenting , tho. It does not mean letting kids insult their parents and get away with it. Parents can still set rules and boundaries and discipline their kid without resorting to physical punishment.

Don't confuse a kid who listens because he's  scared of getting hit with a kid who actually understands right from wrong.

Different strokes  for different folks, so I can't speak for how you raise yours. But for me, goal is to help them think for themselves, control their own behavior, and take responsibility for their actions, not just obey their parents. So discipline is necessary ,  but you  don't have to hit your kids to raise them right.

Kids are special set of individuals that most times know the right things but just like doing the wrong once just to know the kind of parents they have.
From what I have seen and experienced,  it is obvious that without physical hitting at times children will never learn, hitting children doesn't  mean one is hurting them but just for correction which I see is the best way of life. There is nothing wrong in hitting my children because I want a better future for them

[Btcdeybodi]

I don't understand why most rich families don't allow their children to do anything in the house, they can't do their laundry, they can't cook , they can't clean. Everyone loves their children but these are basic things a child can learn to do by themselves even though their parents have the money to employ people that can do everything for them.

Pampering children is good but over pampering them will bring disaster in the future when you are not around them. Giving them the best education, healthy meals and fun activities is good but they should know how to do some minor works especially if it has do with being hygienic.