Women Cannot Resist Bitcoins

[st4rdust]

Every time I am out with a woman I will eventually steer the conversation into Bitcoin territory, explaining the nuances and subtleties of this saucy and sensual cryptocurrency that I'm involved with. As I describe the hours upon hours that I put into building and maintaining each individual mining machine and the intricate dance of skill and luck which ultimately dictates my overall hash rates, she inevitably casts a gaze into my eyes which tells me that she could not be more invigorated and enchanted if James Bond himself were sitting across from her, detailing his exploits from any given day... okay okay so you must obviously realize this is sarcastic and the reality is that I have not been touched by any woman for months and Bitcoin is simply ruining my life, it's not worth the cost which I pay for my sweet bitcoin success, because my genitals are now mutilated from all the times that I stick them in my CD-ROM drive tray, opening and closing the drive to punish myself and to bask in the anguish and shame of this pitiful predicament. There was even one day which found me in a particularly vulnerable state, in which I stripped down to complete nudity and tea bagged my processor's heatsink and fan. After running Super Pi for an hour or so, I very carefully lowered my sack down towards the fan until finally one of the spinning blades caught hold of my junk, twisting it around until it became jammed, pinning my nuts against the piping hot copper heatsink which consequently singed the scrotum like a branding iron, indeed the marks are still visible to this day. After shrieking like a pathetic, nubile little schoolgirl while all this was happening, eventually I tore my toasted sack out of the mangled remains of the heatsink fan and slowly shrunk down to the floor, into the fetal position, where I spent the rest of the day quietly weeping to myself.

Does anybody else share these feelings and experiences? I've often wondered whether or not I am alone in this.

[1715253750]

1715253750

[evoorhees]

 

[airnesst]

i have similar with my wife

[Cablez]

Every time I am out with a woman I will eventually steer the conversation into Bitcoin territory, explaining the nuances and subtleties of this saucy and sensual cryptocurrency that I'm involved with. As I describe the hours upon hours that I put into building and maintaining each individual mining machine and the intricate dance of skill and luck which ultimately dictates my overall hash rates, she inevitably casts a gaze into my eyes which tells me that she could not be more invigorated and enchanted if James Bond himself were sitting across from her, detailing his exploits from any given day... okay okay so you must obviously realize this is sarcastic and the reality is that I have not been touched by any woman for months and Bitcoin is simply ruining my life, it's not worth the cost which I pay for my sweet bitcoin success, because my genitals are now mutilated from all the times that I stick them in my CD-ROM drive tray, opening and closing the drive to punish myself and to bask in the anguish and shame of this pitiful predicament. There was even one day which found me in a particularly vulnerable state, in which I stripped down to complete nudity and tea bagged my processor's heatsink and fan. After running Super Pi for an hour or so, I very carefully lowered my sack down towards the fan until finally one of the spinning blades caught hold of my junk, twisting it around until it became jammed, pinning my nuts against the piping hot copper heatsink which consequently singed the scrotum like a branding iron, indeed the marks are still visible to this day. After shrieking like a pathetic, nubile little schoolgirl while all this was happening, eventually I tore my toasted sack out of the mangled remains of the heatsink fan and slowly shrunk down to the floor, into the fetal position, where I spent the rest of the day quietly weeping to myself.

Does anybody else share these feelings and experiences? I've often wondered whether or not I am alone in this.

Where is that damn "Like" button when you need it!!!  LOL   

[Nicolai Larsen]

Every time I am out with a woman I will eventually steer the conversation into Bitcoin territory, explaining the nuances and subtleties of this saucy and sensual cryptocurrency that I'm involved with. As I describe the hours upon hours that I put into building and maintaining each individual mining machine and the intricate dance of skill and luck which ultimately dictates my overall hash rates, she inevitably casts a gaze into my eyes which tells me that she could not be more invigorated and enchanted if James Bond himself were sitting across from her, detailing his exploits from any given day... okay okay so you must obviously realize this is sarcastic and the reality is that I have not been touched by any woman for months and Bitcoin is simply ruining my life, it's not worth the cost which I pay for my sweet bitcoin success, because my genitals are now mutilated from all the times that I stick them in my CD-ROM drive tray, opening and closing the drive to punish myself and to bask in the anguish and shame of this pitiful predicament. There was even one day which found me in a particularly vulnerable state, in which I stripped down to complete nudity and tea bagged my processor's heatsink and fan. After running Super Pi for an hour or so, I very carefully lowered my sack down towards the fan until finally one of the spinning blades caught hold of my junk, twisting it around until it became jammed, pinning my nuts against the piping hot copper heatsink which consequently singed the scrotum like a branding iron, indeed the marks are still visible to this day. After shrieking like a pathetic, nubile little schoolgirl while all this was happening, eventually I tore my toasted sack out of the mangled remains of the heatsink fan and slowly shrunk down to the floor, into the fetal position, where I spent the rest of the day quietly weeping to myself.

Does anybody else share these feelings and experiences? I've often wondered whether or not I am alone in this.

Where is that damn "Like" button when you need it!!!  LOL   

That's where micro-donations come in handy

[st4rdust]

Every time I am out with a woman I will eventually steer the conversation into Bitcoin territory, explaining the nuances and subtleties of this saucy and sensual cryptocurrency that I'm involved with. As I describe the hours upon hours that I put into building and maintaining each individual mining machine and the intricate dance of skill and luck which ultimately dictates my overall hash rates, she inevitably casts a gaze into my eyes which tells me that she could not be more invigorated and enchanted if James Bond himself were sitting across from her, detailing his exploits from any given day... okay okay so you must obviously realize this is sarcastic and the reality is that I have not been touched by any woman for months and Bitcoin is simply ruining my life, it's not worth the cost which I pay for my sweet bitcoin success, because my genitals are now mutilated from all the times that I stick them in my CD-ROM drive tray, opening and closing the drive to punish myself and to bask in the anguish and shame of this pitiful predicament. There was even one day which found me in a particularly vulnerable state, in which I stripped down to complete nudity and tea bagged my processor's heatsink and fan. After running Super Pi for an hour or so, I very carefully lowered my sack down towards the fan until finally one of the spinning blades caught hold of my junk, twisting it around until it became jammed, pinning my nuts against the piping hot copper heatsink which consequently singed the scrotum like a branding iron, indeed the marks are still visible to this day. After shrieking like a pathetic, nubile little schoolgirl while all this was happening, eventually I tore my toasted sack out of the mangled remains of the heatsink fan and slowly shrunk down to the floor, into the fetal position, where I spent the rest of the day quietly weeping to myself.

Does anybody else share these feelings and experiences? I've often wondered whether or not I am alone in this.

Where is that damn "Like" button when you need it!!!  LOL    

That's where micro-donations come in handy

Currently any donations go directly to the benefit of my crispy, toasted coconuts which are still charred from the heatsink. Pretty soon I will need to replenish the ointment as I must apply it in a daily slathering to avoid any large-scale shedding of burnt skin, which is directly related to the possibility of, if enough of the burnt sack is shed away, losing a testicle through an opening. Just sneaking right on out of there on its own! Crafty little bugger, looking for any way out.

I don't know how else to put it, but due to reasons such as this, I would strongly advise anybody to please avoid dunking your testicles into a CPU heatsink/fan. Nothing good will come of this, and you may even end up as unlucky as I did by getting them pulled into the fan and becoming jumbled and jammed up, lodged right against the piping hot copper heatsink. And that's one to grow on...!

[John (John K.)]

Every time I am out with a woman I will eventually steer the conversation into Bitcoin territory, explaining the nuances and subtleties of this saucy and sensual cryptocurrency that I'm involved with. As I describe the hours upon hours that I put into building and maintaining each individual mining machine and the intricate dance of skill and luck which ultimately dictates my overall hash rates, she inevitably casts a gaze into my eyes which tells me that she could not be more invigorated and enchanted if James Bond himself were sitting across from her, detailing his exploits from any given day... okay okay so you must obviously realize this is sarcastic and the reality is that I have not been touched by any woman for months and Bitcoin is simply ruining my life, it's not worth the cost which I pay for my sweet bitcoin success, because my genitals are now mutilated from all the times that I stick them in my CD-ROM drive tray, opening and closing the drive to punish myself and to bask in the anguish and shame of this pitiful predicament. There was even one day which found me in a particularly vulnerable state, in which I stripped down to complete nudity and tea bagged my processor's heatsink and fan. After running Super Pi for an hour or so, I very carefully lowered my sack down towards the fan until finally one of the spinning blades caught hold of my junk, twisting it around until it became jammed, pinning my nuts against the piping hot copper heatsink which consequently singed the scrotum like a branding iron, indeed the marks are still visible to this day. After shrieking like a pathetic, nubile little schoolgirl while all this was happening, eventually I tore my toasted sack out of the mangled remains of the heatsink fan and slowly shrunk down to the floor, into the fetal position, where I spent the rest of the day quietly weeping to myself.

Does anybody else share these feelings and experiences? I've often wondered whether or not I am alone in this.

Where is that damn "Like" button when you need it!!!  LOL    

That's where micro-donations come in handy

Currently any donations go directly to the benefit of my crispy, toasted coconuts which are still charred from the heatsink. Pretty soon I will need to replenish the ointment as I must apply it in a daily slathering to avoid any large-scale shedding of burnt skin, which is directly related to the possibility of, if enough of the burnt sack is shed away, losing a testicle through an opening. Just sneaking right on out of there on its own! Crafty little bugger, looking for any way out.

I don't know how else to put it, but due to reasons such as this, I would strongly advise anybody to please avoid dunking your testicles into a CPU heatsink/fan. Nothing good will come of this, and you may even end up as unlucky as I did by getting them pulled into the fan and becoming jumbled and jammed up, lodged right against the piping hot copper heatsink. And that's one to grow on...!

LOL  . You're making it sound like a queer old porno now.

[girlsgonebitcoin]

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....

[DivaSativa]

I am so amused right now hahahaha
 

[renji1337]

lolol...very amusing

[edd]

I hate when that happens.

[notme]

My lady gets turned on by bitcoins.... Forget hardware, talk $$$.

[the joint]

My lady gets turned on by bitcoins.... Forget hardware, talk $$$.

+1.   Women 'like' my Bitcoin status updates on Facebook, but only if it's profit related.

Had one ask to see my rigs and my hash rate.  I was happy to oblige.

[John (John K.)]

My lady gets turned on by bitcoins.... Forget hardware, talk $$$.

+1.   Women 'like' my Bitcoin status updates on Facebook, but only if it's profit related.

Had one ask to see my rigs and my hash rate.  I was happy to oblige.

Girls asking this kind of stuff? Pfft. They're as rare as the blue moon nowadays.

[Gabi]

Not if they think rigs=$$$

[Raoul Duke]

You used the wong method dude. I find them way more attracted by Bitcoin after I explain they can be exchanged for Dollars and Euros

[st4rdust]

some btc sent since i loled.

this is how you troll.

the two troll kings should take notes.

Many thanks. I also got a laugh when I saw my client with a new transaction, wondering where it came from, then seeing (Pity) at the end. Then it all came flooding back.

[st4rdust]

I have to wonder, does anybody still feel this way? Unfortunately time has not healed these wounds for myself.   

[kwoody]

This is almost as funny as brail issue playboy magazines.
Blind dude feeling bumps on paper and being like "damn girl, you smexy"

[thepwnorbpwnd]

Can I quote this for my sig? xD ''There was even one day which found me in a particularly vulnerable state, in which I stripped down to complete nudity and tea bagged my processor's heatsink and fan.'' - st4rdust

[malevolent]

Thank you, OP, for making me laugh 

[kgonepostl]

copy/pasta'd to my facebook page.

[st4rdust]

Can I quote this for my sig? xD ''There was even one day which found me in a particularly vulnerable state, in which I stripped down to complete nudity and tea bagged my processor's heatsink and fan.'' - st4rdust

Haha, absolutely. Glad you enjoyed the post. 

[Tweaked]

You used the wong method dude. I find them way more attracted by Bitcoin after I explain they can be exchanged for Dollars and Euros

Exactly, tell them how you make money buy simply mining digital currency and converting it into money that can buy shoes and clothes. 

[st4rdust]

I'm glad to see others here in BTC land appreciate my sick BitStories. I feel another one coming on soon, so stay tuned for the next installment of what I now dub "The Epic Tales of a BTC Junkie, Barely Holding on to Sanity!"

[Miles Bennett Dyson]

Genius! 

[weex]

Well nice job on having dates!

[st4rdust]

Well nice job on having dates!

The only dates I have sadly are the sparse few times a month when my personalities convene to discuss hot-button issues, developments on popular television series (breaking bad is a current favorite) and, inevitably, critique and compare what amounts to be a pathetic round of stand-up comedy bits, hour-long variety show concepts and song-and-dance routines.

[Fjordbit]

Maybe you should try litecoin instead.

[Blyzon]

What is a women?   

[st4rdust]

What is a women?   

I read about it in books and stuff before and oh my god when I look at pr0nzoes I see things that make no sense to me whatsoever!!! My dear sweet lord, I see such strange things like men with inverted jennie-tulls and enlarged nappled-milkbags that remind me of far distant primordial memories of nourishment that I vaguely recollect but cannot be sure if it was real or just a long-lost dream. Such strange, unfamiliar-ness that I cannot understand.... OMG WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN.

[Aahzman]

"Honest, Officer! She asked to see my 'mining rig', so I whipped it out! *I'm* the victim here!"

[2weiX]

My lady gets turned on by bitcoins.... Forget hardware, talk $$$.

+1.   Women 'like' my Bitcoin status updates on Facebook, but only if it's profit related.

Had one ask to see my rigs and my hash rate.  I was happy to oblige.

sounds like my wife.
whenever i go into the economical and political implications... *yawn*.
when i go to the bank to withdraw 20k... *sparkle!*

[Cm5xng]

How long till you gain dominion over bitcoin honey?

[#machinist]

true, works every single time

[Kalm]

Can I quote this for my sig? xD ''There was even one day which found me in a particularly vulnerable state, in which I stripped down to complete nudity and tea bagged my processor's heatsink and fan.'' - st4rdust

HAHAHAHA! This is great

[hamdi]

women are never interested in your work.
only the fruits of your work.

and by now it´s still $$$ they wanna see. not BTCBTCBTC