Sep. Joke contest WIN up to 5$

[andy75]

Hi guys ,
I am doing this as a trial and see how it goes.
This month joke contest , everyone invited to write a joke and vote of course
Here are some ground rules :

     1. first place win 5$ , second wins 3$ , third place win 2$ (paid in BTC)
     2. 1 joke per person (put your BTC wallet address in your post)
     3. if you like the joke please post a reply with the person's joke nickname +1 (no  you can not vote for yourself)
     4. you can post your joke until 30/09/2014 posts placed on October 1st wont count.

please make sure your wallet address is right because i will not pay twice
depend on the number of contenders and votes it might take time for me to process the results so i will pay on start of October

if you trolls have something negative to say please spare it

let the contest begin  

[1715162416]

1715162416

[immea]

Some guy: I once knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith.

Other guy: What was the name of his other leg ?

___
BTC: 13rUA9GgZUnuLqv9Sycu7tvD7uVc7cDs5X

[virtualx]

This is a great idea!

Some guy:  How do I get quick rich of bitcoin?
Karpales:  First, register in MtGox.com then...


BTC: 1P5nptAHF54JF7K66Km6X5F7AqnxrCip1j

[andy75]

i wanna say thanks to the 2 guys for posting a joke. 

i hoped for better cooperation , as the things look no jokes left 

common guys and girls give us a push 

ok ok here is one for starter :

2 guys bump at each other at the market.
the younger guy ask the older one : what are you doing here ?
older respond : i look for my wife , how does your wife look?
the young guy say : she is tall blonde blue eyes and skinny , how does your wife look?
the older respond : never mind , let go look for your wife..

[foxkyu]

a: hi, how are you?
b: fine
a: what's your name?
b: fine
a: are you fine?
b: you're idiot!?!

and then they fight each other

btc address : 1BmpoJkVYHtRcYXmnE1Hepdkj3yQWHUmLi

[richierich]

What's the difference between Dirty Harry and anal sex?
One makes your day the other makes your hole weak.

1ByrFWmyy4LVWQ6hzGMf3LMUmQTYuH6BU3

[Gleb Gamow]

Looks like I win the first go round.

EDIT: Lucky me! This is post #7. What are the odds?

[Gleb Gamow]

i wanna say thanks to the 2 guys for posting a joke. 

i hoped for better cooperation , as the things look no jokes left 

common guys and girls give us a push 

ok ok here is one for starter :

2 guys bump at each other at the market.
the younger guy ask the older one : what are you doing here ?
older respond : i look for my wife , how does your wife look?
the young guy say : she is tall blonde blue eyes and skinny , how does your wife look?
the older respond : never mind , let go look for your wife..

the older respond: Where you from?
the young guy say: Carolina.
the older guy: How long you've known your wife?
the young guy say: Since she was born. She's also my sister.
old guy: Does your wife have a sister?
young guy: Yeah, but she's married to my cousin. You're not from around here are you?
old guy: Nope! But I kinda like the place and thinkin' 'bout movin' here.
young guy: I see you've been practicin' the accent.
old guy: Do what?

[ndnh]

There are two fishes in a tank.
One said to the other, how do u drive this thing??

PM me if i win 

[hosumfu]

notfunny forthis i feel

[Traffic4u]

Hey.. I am not lazy, I am in energy saving mode.

[KIRAZ]

The only thing I use BING for is to search Google.

[ikydesu]

Q:What do you call a man with a spade in his head?
A:An Ambulance

BTC: 1FQvrLVug7JhJb1GgZ7BeM2cc92gHtDyX

[nakazznicek]

My lesbian neighbours have given me a Rolex.
I guess they misunderstood me when I told them, the day they came to introduce themselves, that I wanna watch.

(14QeeyCDCArJ5XhiCVzgZUUnWRsUunrqJk)

[llanillo]

Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.
One boy throws his bag out the window.
Teacher: who just threw that?!
Boy: Me! I’m going home now.

1QGqg2rK75NQyeTcEUVEZ7G9VPZaHmtpWP

[Catman Dude]

Do limericks count as a joke?

There once was a man from Yuma,
Who told elephant joke to puma,
His skeleton lies,
In hot Western skies,
Puma had no sense of huma!

(I'll edit in my bitcoin address later.)

[CripLib]

The parrot went to the henhouse in the evening, and f#ck3d all the chickens.

At the break of dawn the cock started crowing: "cock-a-doodle-doo", calling his hens. And so the chickens, making a line, went downstairs to be f#ck3d by that handsome strong bird (and of course he done it very well to them).

The line up went on, chicken by chicken, and in the end there was only the parrot remaining as well as a small cockerel. The cockerel looked at the parrot and said: "you first". The parrot answered: "oh, I'm so tired..." and pretended he was sleeping. But the cock continued there crowing and calling their victims for their imminent f#ck fate.

After some time, the cockerel was so hungry that he had to go out. On seeing the cock nearing the poor innocent animal the parrot cried in dispair: "PROTECT YOUR BACK DOOR!"


1GUGow6mR8Z8f1dRu6iPza6CtiS1yoXY5s

[Nobitcoin]

What's brown and sticky?
A stick

1NYaBPmrUjGZ5WA7iiPkDGcd7EBZKNTECW

[TheButterZone]

In the year 2016, a gun control advocate and his machine gun-wielding "bodyguards" walk into a bar.

Everyone else runs out the back door, except the bartender, who unlocks the cash register and safe, then eats his own gun before he can be executed.

The gun control advocate sneers "thanks for paying your taxes" as he bags the cash, then waves his hand, so the "bodyguards" machine gun the wall of liquor, after which they all turn to leave, the bar erupts into flames, and burns down shortly thereafter.

In 2024, that gun control advocate is "elected" president of the United States.

1BUTRZ85L1JuoX5y2XRjxJaYcjcMLhPJcY

[_owowo_]

What's the difference between an optimist and a pessimist?

The pessimist says: "Everything is so bad! It can not get any worse!"

The optimist says: "Yes. It can!"


1HgPJmHLWiKEtD8Xyka9E8ZZm47xfAXauS