Bitcoin Trader - The Best Joke of the Week Contest

[coindetective]

Hi guys,


I guess most of you have heard about Bitcoin Trader. They have been online since November 2013, they provide BTC trading and arbitrage services and a lot of people have made money by using them so far.
According to their website: “Bitcoin Trader is utilizing arbitrage situations to generate profits for our Trading Pool. Arbitrage is the practice of taking advantage of the price difference between two or more markets. For us, it means to buy Bitcoins on one market for immediate resale on another market in order to profit from the price disparity. This results in immediate, principally risk-free profit.”


Here are their results for the last 10 months:  


                                                              



In order to help general Bitcoin acceptance, they have sponsored several interesting events so far including:

Bitcoin 2014: http://bitcoin2014.com/

Central European Bitcoin Expo 2014: http://cebexpo.net/

Bitcoin Conference Chicago: http://btcchicago.com/

The North American Bitcoin Car Giveaway Tour 2014: http://www.bitpages.co/content/car.html


Now, there is something else interesting for you guys. I would like to start Bitcoin Trader – The Best Joke of the Week Contest. I will award 5 free Bitcoin shares, each worth $20, at the end of each of the next 10 weeks to 5 people posting the best jokes in this thread. So, 50 people in total will be able to get their free Bitcoin Trader shares. Winners will get a special coupon which they can redeem on Bitcoin Trader website in order to get their free share.

A few rules:

1)   This contest is open to both existing and new Bitcoin trader clients. In case you do not have an account, you must register via the link from my signature in order to qualify. If you already have an account, you are fine, just post your jokes.
 
2)   Only 1 share will be given per account. The system does not allow redeeming multiple coupons. So, if you have already received a free share, there is no point trying to do that again.

3)   I will personally select winners at the end of each week and they will receive their codes within 24 hours. Additional points will be given to jokes related to Bitcoin/Cryptocurrencies.

Let us all have fun here and I really hope to see a lot of great jokes in this thread. Good luck!

P.S. I was hired by BT to oversee this contest. I do not work for BT and I have never been part of their team.  Also, if I may ask you to focus on posting only great jokes in this thread so I can give you some free money. There are several other BT threads where you can discuss their services. Thx

[Grinder]

Here's mine: Audit.

[Minerjoe]

Let me try.

Women goes into a bar with a duck under her arm. Bartenders says "what'll the pig have." The woman says, "that's not a pig, that's a duck!". I know says the bartender, "I was talking to the duck."

[jadefalke]

Here's mine: Audit.

lol. good one

[vach]

Here's mine: Audit.

contest is over

[crazyivan]

I would not mine scoring a free share. Here is mine:

A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store.
The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious!
She stormed past the store to her work.
On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." She was incredibly ticked now.
The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and warned she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager replied profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot didn't say it again.
When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, "Hey lady."
She paused and said,"Yes?"
The bird said, "You know."

))))

[ranlo]

"So a seal walks into a club..."

[mailmansDOGE]

Here's one I know.

A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. "What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor. The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."

[coinmaster222]

To Absent Brothers
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finished all three, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender says to him, 'You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time.' The Irishman replies, 'Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we all drank together. 'The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way: he orders three pints and drinks the three pints by taking drinks from each of them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars in the bar notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, 'I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss.' The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a lights dawns in his eye and he laughs. 'Oh, no, ' he says, 'Everyone is fine. I've just quit drinking!

Thanks for running this!

[semidead]

Two guys are driving through Alabama when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up, taps on the window with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver says, "Why'd you do that?"
The trooper says, "You're in Alabama, son. When I pull you over you'll have your license ready."
Driver says, "I'm sorry, officer, I'm not from around here."
The trooper runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean. He gives the guy his license back and walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window.
The passenger rolls his window down, and the trooper smacks him with the nightstick.
The passenger says, "What'd you do that for?"
The cop says, "Just making your wishes come true."
The passenger says, "Huh?"
The cop says, "I know that two miles down the road you're gonna say, ''I wish that jerk would've tried that shit with me."


Good luck to all!

[martin1024]

Here is an IT one:

A SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, public house, Irish pub, drinks, beer….

[Candystripes]

Alt-coins.

Do I win?

[ValdÍs]

Mine were here: Free.

[vipgelsi]

An oil sheik says in a gallery:
I really admire Picasso.
There is nobody who was able to sell oil so expensive.

[nwfella]

A Koala bear walks into a bar, sits down and orders a BLT sandwich.

The Koala eats the BLT sandwich, gets up, spins around, pulls a pistol out of his pouch, shoots the piano player, and proceeds to walk out of the bar.

The bartender, in shock, shouts to the Koala, "Hey, who do you think you are, you ate my sandwich and shot my piano player, and just where do you think you're going!?"

The Koala replies, "Hey, I'm a Koala. Look it up." The frustrated bartender pulls out a dictionary from behind the bar and looks up Koala: The dictionary reads "noun: a marsupial that eats shoots and leaves."

[coindetective]

Heh, keep them coming guys, 5 free shares this week.

[HowardF]

So, an Irish man walks out of his local bar...  Hah, just kidding, he's Irish, no he doesn't....   

[vach]

So, an Irish man walks out of his local bar...  Hah, just kidding, he's Irish, no he doesn't....   

good one

[worhiper_-_]

How can you tell that someone is a redneck?

Well, he goes to a family reunion looking for a wife.

[Minerjoe]

How can you tell that someone is a redneck?

Well, he goes to a family reunion looking for a wife.

Haha, nasty. OP, can we post multiple jokes or just one per week?