Bitcoin Forum

I don't like having children. It's easy and doesn't require much philosophizing and interpretation. For this reason, most of my relationships with women have failed to develop into a formal relationship. For me, marriage is all about finding a true life partner to share our ups and downs, and that's enough. Just as I don't like to be tied down to someone who is too attached to her family, I also don't like having children who might one day tire me out or whose rights I might have neglected. Don't call me a "pessimist," because I know circumstances change, and what's best for me today isn't guaranteed tomorrow, no matter how many guarantees there are. These are personal beliefs and preferences, and unfortunately, it doesn't seem like there are women who share my perspective, and most, if not all, consider marriage as a means of procreation.

Are there women who share this perspective? Where or how can I find one? (I know this is bitcointalk not tinder hhh). Why should the concept of commitment extend to procreation as if it were a natural outcome when we are the ones who decide that?

Btw, i live in arabic country with conservative culture. Marriage and having children is a must for everybody and people don't even dare to discuss such topics. What do you think guys?

Sorry to say about this post you made.. though I don't often post in this section but I was lucky to have your topic pop-up on the bot and I have to follow it up.

Usually, what I senses here is that you aren't ready to accept responsibility. As woman or Man, the ability for them to accept all responsibilities is to settle down by getting married. Yes, I know that not everyone that must get married but at times there are reasons why they don't get married and this could be lack of finance, accomodations and so many circumstances within a man. But for a woman, it is that easier for them to get married because most at times the Men takes up the responsibilities, while there are some home which their responsibility are being shared equally.

Procreation isn't that Major reason of getting married but at least having someone whom you could confide on, share thoughts and feelings and ideas, but guess what?
What is the benefit of getting married without procreation then who takes over you or after you when you might have joined your ancestors? We see many people adopting a child or babies due to their inability to bear children,.or let say what if your parents didn't give birth to you what could have been of your existence today?

I'm not saying that humans should stop having children or that having children is wrong. Quite the opposite. My refusal to have children is a personal preference, and I'm not saying that those who aren't like me are wrong.

Marriage may be the only socially available means of living with a partner in one home. Keep in mind that I live in an Arab country whose culture doesn't permit extramarital relationships. Therefore, marriage is a means of living with a partner without social stigma.

Furthermore, marriage is not just a means of procreation. First, procreation can occur even without marriage, and second, the concept of marriage cannot be reduced to a mere channel for reproduction and the preservation of the lineage.

There is a philosophy called "antinatalism," which has many followers who believe that humans should stop procreating because the increasing human population threatens the stability of the entire planet. I'm familiar with it, but I don't share the same view. I don't oppose the idea of ​​procreation in general, but I simply believe that planet Earth, in its current state, is uninhabitable due to the numerous crises caused by humans.

I've heard couples that are also shared the same decision of not having children. And it's a normal kind of relationship nowadays and all it takes is proper talks to your future partner.

Start it out with your friends, friends friends and friends of your relatives. If you cannot find that through online dating then start with the approach of traditionally meeting them through common friends.

Yeah, both of you are still the ones to decide. Don't listen to others if they're telling you like you should have kids and it's lonely growing old without having any.

Then start breaking the cycle in your family through you by being vocal and sharing your decision to them. They will understand you no matter what they think of it.

not sure of your age, but there is a biological lesson to be learned
if you are dating or looking for women of legal age that are in their late teens-30yr old .. they are at the start of romantic life and fertile so thinking about family and kids.

however think smart
many women 30+ are entering the phase where they are starting to become less interested in family because they have 'passed their prime' fertile age.. so find a cougar, or a woman 30-40+
the pool of women in their 30's+ are less likely to be trying to start a family(if it hadnt happened already, then less likely will happen) and so they just want the romance/companionship/loyalty side of marriage

i was quite surprised until you said you came from a conservative country in that case you might not meet your match from your own country

i was surprised because i have observed that women nowadays are more career driven and so a lot women decide to not have children of their own we know that pregnancy affects the woman the most since she’s the one who has to carry it and it’s 9 months of her life paused and many more months and years to take care of the child so it’s no longer desirable to have kids now than before especially with our economy lol

Women have machinery built into them to 'make' children. She will never be happy in the long run with the idea of not having children. She can't help it. The best you can do is find a widow who has adult children already, and then simply put up with them when they visit. Otherwise, forget the marriage thing.

8)

I like your reason op, but assume your father or mother have this kind of reasons not to give birth to child or children, I don't think you would have be here today, because they know the important of having children to a woman you loved with your whole heart. If your parent trained you well to become a good child in the society, you will surely know how to associate with good people that will make you to end up in marrying a good girl that will give birth to good children that will not trouble you for the rest of your life.

There are still good ladies out there, but if you are not good, it will be hard for you to find the good ladies than to continue meeting the bad ones that will be breaking your heart, and that is the plain truth man.

Your desire to get married and not have any kids might be considered a taboo in the olden days, they might think that you are somehow not normal to make such a decision. Just like in the past nobody can come out to say that they were gay, it was a taboo, it still is in some cultures. But in this age people are more open about their desires and I've heard people like you who don't wants to have kids and we have to respect everybody's decisions. As a man you have to find a woman that wants the same thing but I don't think that it'll be easy to find because most women will like to have one or more children at some point in their lives. I wish you luck in your search for your perfect match, I want to believe that a woman is somewhere also looking for a man like you.

Deciding to get married is a personal decision and no one should compel you to do so against your wish, however, there's what the society sees to be the norm that when you go contrary to it makes you look like someone that's strange and somehow, in the latter part of your life, you might face the repalcursion there off.

Having children goes beyond being a father, it's the only process through which our continuous existence on the earth is guaranteed. Imagine that your parents made same decision of not having children and every other person makes same decision? What becomes of humanity? For several obvious reasons, even if not getting married might make it look  like the best decision, in the long run, it might not always end too well.

Maybe put that on your dating profile (if you have one). In that way you filter anyone who prefers having kids. You might get less matches, or even more matches that are immediately more suitable. Just skip the part where you say that there are no women who share your perspective, because that's just talking down.

Just be honest about your values and needs. In that way you skip so many unwanted matches. But honestly, take this with grain of salt as any advice from here, as i think this is probably worst place to get dating advices.

The sole aim of marriage is for companionship and not for having children. Anyone who loves children can decide to have children whether married or not. I do not see the reason why people make having children the sole purpose of marriage. What will happen to the marriage if the couple begins to struggle to have kids and those children they so wish to have aren't forthcoming? Will they dissolve the marriage or resort to cheating? The marriage should continue with or without children.

It is better to admit how you feel about having children than to bring children into the world and neglect them. But before a decision like this is taken, both partners must agree to it. It is wrong to impose your desires on someone who feels something totally different.

That is your right to say you don't want to have children for so many reasons. We can not say you are wrong because you have your own thoughts which we don't know. You should search for a woman who doesn't want to have children and explain why you don't want to have children. Maybe most women can not accept but I believe some women can accept your reason so although that is difficult, you can search for the right woman.

We don't know where you can start to find that but you should search by yourself and follow your path. Someday you will found the right person who want to live and married with you and accept your reason.

It’s your life & you can make your own choices. Unfortunately for you though you can’t make choices for other people so it might be hard to find a woman who is dead set against having children. Most women have a natural maternal longing to have kids. It’s probably even harder in an Arabic country as depending where you are, that’s what a woman’s job is. If you were in a Western country there are lots of career driven women who don’t want children. It’s possible to find what you want but won’t be easy.

I agree, age matters.

I would say at least 40 years old, I see many women in their late 30s are willing to downgrade their standard, they do this in order to get married as soon as possible because they want to have baby.

18-25 years old women criteria: must be 6 feet, handsome, six pack, six digits income, have a business, have a house, have a car, etc.
26-30 years old women criteria: must be 6 feet, six digits income, have a business, have a house, have a car etc.
31-35 years old women criteria: six digits income, have a house, have a car.
36-40 years old women criteria: have provider mindset and don't cheat.

But the thing is, women are mostly want to get married if the men have higher salary than them even they're 40-60 years old. So, even these women are ugly, they still demand something instead of working together as a partner.

The problem with making your choice against children is, it is based on simple thinking, and on rebellion against nature.

Natural subconscious is built to have and raise children. Companionship ideals are for children companionship as well as husband or wife companionship. Setting yourself up so that you do not have children, will result in your physical system discouragement in later life. It will drag you to an unhappy later life, and maybe an earlier death.

This is especially true for a woman because she has machinery throughout herself to make children within herself. Any man who stops his woman from having children is doing her a big disfavor.

8)

The whole matter will depend on the thinking of a person. Marriage is not only for giving birth to children. A man usually gets married and his wife will help him in various things on his long journey. And giving birth to children is not a matter of compulsion. But there are definitely some logical reasons why people give birth. The main reason for giving birth to children is the certainty of the matter. If you do not give birth to children, then the attitude that works in you at the moment will not be there when you grow up. You may feel alone at some point. The number of people around you will decrease. And if you had children, you could depend on them. People do not live forever. It may also be that a person may lose his wife in old age, then he may become even more lonely. If he has an inheritance, then they will definitely try to give him some time. In developed countries, children are not seen to take care of their parents as much as they do.

There are some countries where the population is small and the average life expectancy is high, so a person lives for a long time. There they do all the work for their own survival. Especially in Japan, there are some people who die at home when they get old but no one around them knows. Their children are not very responsible towards their parents. There seems to be no benefit in having such children. Above all, I want to say that if you are the owner of a lot of wealth, you will have to leave this world one day, throwing everything away. Then some other person will enjoy these assets. If you get married and have children, then they will enjoy those assets at some point. If you have no interest in living after marriage, then don't take them. After a generation or two, you will change a lot in terms of psychology.

For those who find my argument strange, I do not invite people to adopt my ideas, and it is not my role to present my beliefs as truths for others to follow. I am also not responsible for the continuation or extinction of the human race. All I do is embrace the anti-natalist philosophy and see no need to bring more suffering people onto Earth. You can consider this a personal preference so that it does not conflict with your choice to have children.

There are people who have done nothing but give birth and consider it a great achievement. They are the first to object to such views because such projects would expose their falsehood. In addition to this the people who exploit procreation to achieve their own hypocrite goals. This group is mostly women who refuse to work and produce (a dependent mentality), so they defend childbearing because it is a means of blackmail men to pay for their needs under the umbrella of taking care of his children. And let's not forget those who have children as part of a retirement plan, on the basis that when they grow up, they will find an obedient servant who will endure their disgust.

Does anyone among you see any connection between these reasons and human nature and the continuity of the human race? I live in a very conservative society, and procreation is a sacred matter that is not even allowed to be discussed. Therefore, anti-natalist people like me do not appear in public and do not discuss their thoughts freely for fear of social stigma or the impact on my reputation and the reputation of my family, as I would be considered either insane or an atheist, which are all considered moral issues, not personal convictions or preferences.

That's a self decision, if somebody has a reason why they don't like to have a children is also best known to them but however is funny to see how individual lives of desires is because alot of people can even do anything to have children in their home but some are even wishing and praying not to have them, but it will be difficult to find a woman very compatible to agree with the desire of not having a children and sometimes even if they agree it might still change their mind in the future because as they said change is the only constant thing in live and definitely there might be change that could affect the agreement.

I don't see any issue with your beliefs. In fact, many couples in various countries have chosen not to have children, and they have their reasons. One main reason is the financial capability of both partners, due to the high cost of living, and another reason is that they enjoy their freedom and don't want to be tied down to children.

There are also women who share this belief, so there's no reason to be afraid of having these preferences. I'm sure you will find one in your country, you have to be open about what you believe

I dont see any issue with Kavelj22's beliefs either.

You should move from your country where its conflicting with your beliefs
to a more liberal country if you can.

In Europe where I am a lot of Millennials are of the thinking that the world and
society is so messed up that they dont want the responsibility of creating
another human. They often question the future which their child will have to endure.

Having children should be a personal choice and not a requirement, the world is
already over populated.

Finding a partner with the same beliefs will be tricky but less so in a more liberal
country I guess

I'm not afraid to have these preferences, but imagine the alienation someone may feel with their own preferences would experience in a very conservative environment. For example, I'm agnostic, I don't tolerate procreation, and I believe in the freedom to be different. These are topics that shouldn't be discussed in my environment. Even those who share same ideas don't bring them up for discussion, and there's no organization, association, or club that could provide them with a free space. I'm sure there are women with similar orientations as me, and I've noticed this in Facebook groups. However, they all use fake profiles and distrust private communication with anyone.

I trust the opinions here on the forum, so I didn't hesitate to post this topic. Some see it as an opportunity for jokes, but the issue is serious, and many others share these preferences and have their own arguments. Overall, I've benefited from most of the opinions and have become convinced that my preferences are neither abnormal nor against nature. Procreation in a miserable reality filled with evil becomes a moral issue, not an innate inevitability.

Congratulations OP for your decision.
I once read online that you share same ideology with the WWE Champion - John Cena.
I am not saying that your decision or ideology is faulty and neither am I saying it's the best. But I like the fact that you are able to think independently. You are able to discover what you want in life and you have the power to achieve it. Expect that less than 1% will agree with you but if you have so decided, so be it.

Man was created to function as they desire but we came up with laws to ruin everything. There's no crime in finding a true partner to spend the rest of your life without having children (distraction). While you dwell in your world, there is another man who may want to commit suicide because he doesn't have a child. Then there is another man who killed his wife because she couldn't produce a male child. Weird things happen. Don't be influenced by the crowd, do what makes you happy.

True.

You have to know this, women love money.

If you're not making a lot of money or you didn't show you're trying to make a lot of money, she will abandon you. If you already have a baby, she will blackmail you to earn more because you need to take care your baby. If not, they can easily find other person.

This might be the reason why your previous relationship failed to reach formal relationship, either have a baby or not, they always like money.

We should not equate all women as the same, they are just like men, there will be this one and that one. Not all women are greedy, selfish and only care about money, and not all men are generous and tolerant, affectionate...Gender cannot fully reflect a person's personality but it depends on education, culture, society...

No offense but don't forget your mother is a woman too. Is your mother a good person? I am sure your mother is the best mother in the world to you, because without her, you would not be here today.

I don't know what you've been through with the girls in your life but don't judge them all just because 1 or 2 girls hurt you.

I also live in a conservative society where procreation is a must. Couples are expected to have children within almost two years of marriage. Your family members would start asking questions if you don't have children within these few years. You could be seen as someone who is having a mental disorder if you ever tell people that you don't have children. You can even be ostracized from the family or community if they find out that you don't want children.

My suggestion is that you should find a woman that shares thesame ideology with you. You might be lucky you find one that has fertility problems or can't bear children. You and your wife could also be using contraceptives to avoid pregnancy. You don't need to tell anyone that you don't have children, just pretend that you are trying to impregnate your wife but the baby is not forthcoming. There are many childless couples in my country, people just assume that they are barren. We don't know if they decided not to have children.

I agree with freedom for all people. However, sometimes people use their freedom to do things that harm themselves and those around them. Whatever choices we make, we have to live with having made them... even if we make changes in the future.

Something like 95% of women are torn between having children and their husband's wishes... even if they don't formally marry the guy. The other 5% are simply built with a certain kind of strength that may be weaknesses in some ways.

8)

The problem of men is cheating, but even though they cheat with other partners, they still being responsible with their wife and baby. For me, bad men are better than bad women.

Fortunately my parent are good people and they raise me well, but not all people have a good parent, even our parent are the reason why we exist, but many child choose to not born due to how bad their parent.

Anyway, the past and the present are different, women now have very high standard due to social medias when they can't offer anything except their body.

Yeah not all women are like that, but someone like that always be women.

As a human being, it is within your right to have this kind of idea you are sharing now, but the problem lies with finding a woman that will share the same ideology with you, because the idea of marriage for most women out there is for procreation and for companionship, so finding a woman that will live with you or get married with you without procreation will be difficult to find. So i will advise whenever you resolved to have children you will spend time with and take care of, there and then you should nurture the idea of getting married.

The exception you can have is for probably women that have entered into their menopause and are no longer productive, but to see a woman in a prime that will go with this idea of yours might be difficult.

This is personal approach and perspective to life I guess @0P?
This kind of mindset is not without direct or indirect influence known or unknown!!
Some how very painful to have a date who became a wife, knows her conception predicament but didn't say until a doctor now reveals it as though new but some thing she already knew... On condition like this no matter the pain one can think of alternatives as the case may be or even go on not having offspring...

On the other going into marriage with the intent of not having offspring? Well you can go for medically proved menopause lady (lolz😃)   and there could be ladies ready for that (maybe she knowing her predicament would accept such terms) because even with pregnancy prevention drugs sometimes pregnancy enters and menopause at times reverses.


Checkout your personal desires which could be the road block here...

I've seen US women on social media who follow similar ideology, but one thing with life and women in general is change, the same lady that accepted not to make babies could switch her mind someday and disturb you that all she cares about is having a baby. While you have your reasons always be sure of who you choose to do this, as marriage is a life long journey. Why not have one baby?  ;D

Then don't.. :D

Everyone has the right to live their life the want they want to. If your personal decision is to get married but not have children, that is okay. However, in my cultures when you marry it often comes with an expectation of having children. If that kind of pressure will force you into choices you don't want, it will be better to rethink the idea of going into marriage in the first place.

Do you mean it's better for @OP to just stay in casual relationship?

Pretty sure people will judge him "you guys have been in relationship for 5 years, when you will get married?", "I feel pity for your girlfriend, she has been with you for 5 years and yet you're not serious with her" etc.

I would say it's better for @OP to get married without having a baby instead of staying in casual relationship.

There is a commitment in marriage, where the man and woman are not allowed to give birth outside the marriage. Now, OP does not want a child what if the wife wants a child. Even after agreeing to OP point of view she might have a changed of mind in the future. Because of the commitment she wont want to cheat outside so she has to file for a divorce and get married to someone else. This will cause a lot of catastrophe between his family and that of his wife. I think it is preferable to be in an open relationship.

Whether men or women, once they have an affair, it means they have betrayed their love. They are bad guys and have forgotten their duties as husbands and fathers because that will break up the family, their children will not have the complete happiness of a real family. If they were responsible, they wouldn't have let that happen, so any excuses are unacceptable and won't change their mistake.



Maybe you come from a country where the majority of rich people are men, and women are undervalued and treated worse. But if you are in my country or many other developed countries where there are many successful and rich women, there are also many men who only know how to cling to women's skirts to make a living. In the end, the bad guys are always men.

It will always fail because not every woman will accept going by the mentality of you both not having children, they will prefer a man that can be a father to them and the children, most of the ladies that will say that they don't like children are mostly on the street or single mothers, who will also say that they only like children but not a husband.


This is never enough for marriage, we got married to help fulfill our obligations as a man being responsible for ourself and the partner we got married to, secondly, to be able to replicate the same kind of our generation by giving birth to children who will take after us, just the same way our own parents gave birth to us.

I live in a conservative Islamic society, and it's not part of its culture for a man and woman to live together in a free relationship without the formal commitment of marriage. While there are those who prefer free relationships, they live in big cities where it's overcrowded and no one cares about each other. However, they're always wary that their families might discover the story or that someone might notice and exploit it to blackmail them. A few years ago, in one of the major cities, the police would raid apartments rented by male students, and if they found a single girl, they would accuse them of prostitution. This was similar to the morality police. However, these practices have now ceased, but the culture of society still rejects a man and woman living together without marriage.

Personally, I don't see any problem with being in an open relationship with a woman, but I fear social stigma for both me and her, as my reputation in society is a primary criterion in a conservative Eastern environment, and I imagine most of you can understand this. The whole point is that I want to live with a woman who will be a life partner without having children. Society and families won't ask too much about not having children, and I can then respond that this is God's will, then everyone will remain silent convainced.

As for the question, "Why don't you want to have children?" You can always consider it a matter of personal preference, and I'm not required to give lengthy explanations.
All I can say is that I adopt the philosophy of anti-natalism (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antinatalism) and believe it is unfair to bring more victims to this already overcrowded world. I reiterate that this does not mean that those who have children are wrong. Each of us has our own convictions and principles, and I don't believe I'm offending anyone with these convictions, including the wife I'm seeking, because she will know this from the bigenning and accept it as a basic condition for marriage and living together. I'm not interested in passing on my genes, nor do I care much about the continuation of the human race. This has never been part of my beliefs, and it never will be.

Basically we all have the right to make our own decision in life without giving a fuck what the society thinks. I understand you very much more than anyone in this thread that is why I feel yo might want to have a change of mind at some point but it is clear how rooted this decisions is to you. And I respect you for that.

Kavelj22 I once had an anti-marriage ideology when reaching adult - age. I feel marriage is over hyped and overrated but with time I tend to give relationship a try then I figured out that if you are with someone who is submissive and wants the same thing you want you can succeed in marriage. Now you stand on your belief but time shall tell if re-consider having children. Best of luck buddy!

Is funny to see how some certain condition of living will compelled someone to make a decision even when they never intend to do it, though it doesn't necessarily mean the system will force you but because of internal factors like parents and also sometimes external openion towards it,  just like you i also lived in a place were having it is the key factor of marriage and it became more of a custom in every marriage, so they never adhere to any believe of a man or the woman deciding they will not have any children  because there understanding is that before a man and woman come together to become one they are ready to have all that's accompanied by marriage, so from this region almost all the women detest men who have that believe because they see the person as someone who has a  physical challenge or psychological problem.

Even though you lived in an Arab country, we are all one; we are living in a new generation, a generation that is open to all feelings and beliefs. You are not unique in your ideas.

I have many neighbors who are living without children, either by choice or circumstances, and they are happy and okay with it.
 
The most important thing is that you follow what you believe in as long as it does not cause harm to your fellow human beings.

If you lived in a different country where the local culture is more diversified, you could surely find the kind of woman your are looking for, but since we are talking about a muslim country, it must be really hard, because if you don't follow the local rules strictly, you may find yourself in big trouble. You may find a woman who has the same preferences and values of yours on the backgrounds of your society, because someone will never come publicly raising such flags, especially women, as they have to be submissive to men in your culture.

Since you are into Bitcoin, make investments, grow your funds, build new sources of income, so you will have the opportunity to travel abroad, discover new cultures, new people, what can potentially increase the chances you find the girl of your dreams...

The main actors in marriage is the man and the women who agreed to share the life journey together, all other things are secondary, child bearing is a choice, but before you make that choice of not having kids, youust first of all agree with your spouse and come through contract of not marrying for child bearing, that way you won't have issues with the marriage along the line, since child bearing is one of the main purposes of marriage in most cultures around the world marriage without kids is not yet complete.

Having children is a choice just like you said. But it also has its consequences. Many countries are giving welfare packages to married people so they can have children because of the political and economic effects. Some countries in Europe and Asia are facing drastic population decline which is making them depend on immigrants. There are no sufficient young people to take over job roles from the aging population. So, as we are making decisions not to have children, it is good to consider how it will affect our country in the long run. Some countries now see giving birth to more children as an act of patriotism.

To make it clear, either marriage or having children can not be a must because everyone do have all rights to decide if they need a partner or an offspring of themselves.

A man and woman a needs companionship to spice their custodial life experiences. It is usually required a duo partnership with the characteristics of both sex lifestyles being matched with the ability of both parties to learn tolerance while diligently chasing one goal but failure to stick to understanding is why marriages are broken (divorced).
That categorically states that marriage is not a "Do or Die" affair. Of course if you tried to pair in some occasions and it does not work out good for you, just leave else, the lifetime marital entitlement would be unfair and potential to ruin your life.
Don't be in an entangled relationship just because you want to earn the title "married".

My advice to you OP is that... You should try and whole heartedly bring out your mind to give this a try because, if everyone thinks like being single and no bearing of children, the world will be empty somedays you would not have even existence if your parents never conceived you to live.

I also understand the irritation accompanied with some individuals which of you find yourself in a relationship with one may refer to a ruin (messy) of your life but on the other hand in marriage, you don't just get 100% of partner you may ever wished for neither are you portraying a perfect person of whom your partner may desire for life.
On that reason, maturity and tolerance should be the primary exhibit of both parties before any of perspective is considered.

Therefore, having married and having children is necessary but not compulsory.

How did you get this mindset as your country values culture and everyone wants to have children? Everyone has their own lives and targets, and I've seen people like you on social media who aren't interested in anything concerning marriage. For example, in my country, many people are afraid to become a father because the economy is difficult, and bringing children into the world would make more it difficult to give them the better life they want.

However, the issue is not about taking another responsibility, but you don't view marriage as something you should do. According to your question, there are many women out there who want to remain without kids forever, many women do not want to marry or have children because they believe that being a mother will ruin the shape of their bodies, and they prefer to have fun and enjoy their lives, it is just that I don't know about your country.

If you want to make the natural process abnormal, you have the right to do so. You can choose to live a good life without marriage. If you find a woman with the same mentality as you, you may be lucky. Just as your parents are proud of you, you should be proud of your children. It should be a real pride to leave behind an heir to your family who will remember you as a father and light a candle at your grave.

I really don't know why you can't be generous to your children even though they are innocent and want to be loved after seeing them and everyone hopes for a child of their own. Since you live in a conservative society, you should expect more children or have multiple marriages. In Arabic countries you have to own a lot of wealth to get married, although I have heard that marriage is very expensive for them. If this is the case for you, then it may be logical but you should make efforts to improve your finances.

What is the natural process, marriage and then procreation? It is high time we accepted that not everyone will get married, and not everyone who eventually gets married will have children, either by choice or due to some unfortunate circumstances that might prevent them from having children. As the world advances, we realise that most of the things people were stigmatised for are no longer worth it.

I like the fact that people are beginning to express themselves about how they feel about marriage and children. Do not get married if you are not passionate about it, so the spouse won't suffer unjustly. Same also with having children. Do not bring children into the world and deny them real love. That's cruelty. Everything would work fine with effective communication.

Sure, some people prefer to be single, while some prefer not to have children, but keep in mind that it's not just a preference. You're going against nature here. You may now think that you'll never want to have children, but 30 years from now you will want them, but it will be too late.

It's the same with women. At first they don't want children because they want to be free and look good, but when they're in their 40s and their friends have kids, they suddenly wake up and try to find a partner willing to have a child with them and it's hard. I know a few women who claimed they'd never have children, but it changed when they were over 35.

Developed nations have adequate planning for the elderly. They are usually sent to elderly people's homes where the government provide for them and makes them feel comfortable. In my country, such welfare packages for senior citizens don't exist. The elderly retirees become dependent on their children. It is the children that have the responsibility to provide almost everything their parents want. In fact, it is common to see parents move into their children's homes when they become old and weak. In this kind of condition, having children is seen as an investment and protection. You don't just have children because you love raising them but because you are concerned about who will take care of you during old age.

If you don't need children, I don't see any reason why you should get married because bearing children is one of the things you consider when thinking about marriage. Since you don't want to give birth to children, it would be better to just have a relationship with someone that is not marriage.

When two people get married, it is expected that the children will be the ones to take care of them when they are old, as no other family member will take this responsibility. However, if you don't get married and grow old, relatives can look after you. Marriage is a responsibility, and if one is not ready to accept that responsibility, there is no need to enter into marriage, because having children is one of the responsibilities in marriage.

Never was, and never will be. That is just ape mirror neurons at work. People watching too much content and other people's lives and the imitate them and think that it is natural. Copying everyone else is dumb, one should try thinking for himself for a change.

There are cases of all changes in behavior to be honest. I do agree that it may be slightly more problematic with women that don't want children but are still young. They are a bit more likely to change their mind than a man would. Anyway, having children because everyone else has them is a bad idea.

You don't know what you are talking about, there are many legal benefits to marriage depending on where exactly one lives. Why should you not take a tax deduction as a married couple, if it is available, just because you don't want children? That would be economically very irrational.

So you wish to end your lineage with you by not wanting to procreate? If that's the case then you don't also need to get married too because it doesn't give any woman joy that should would have to marry, conjugating and wouldn't have children to call her own. Not even one at least. That's absurd.

And yes, marriage is the only ethical means of living with a partner and be called family and without children it's not complete as a home. Obviously it's your choice to not want to have children in marriage but which woman in her right sense would want to do that with you?

The primary reason why people get married can not be for the sake of reproduction only, to some people getting married helps them to have a partner that will stick with them while to some they got married to have a good bond in their relationship etc. Having kids in your marriage or relationship is a choice it shouldn't be a must because not every one wants to have kids in their relationship.

You're right, although there's also a matter of loneliness.
I've known a few couples in my life and those who had no children or lived alone seek companionship in their late years.

I honestly don't know a couple who lived through 50s and 60s with no children, stayed together and were happy.

It's natural to have these thoughts that you won't be remembered by anyone when you die and all your wealth gets redistributed among random people.

You are right BADecker women has what it takes to carry a child and give birth to the child and they are the reason why human are not in extinction however there are some women who are like the OP they don't want to give birth or have a child they just want to live there life without having someone to take care of or be responsible for, a lot of people that has this mentality something caused it, some is because of the family they come from they saw a lot of things that made them decide not to give birth and some people it is what the society is turning into that made them decide not to give birth, I know of someone that said because of the transgender happening this time around she wouldn't give birth if she is lucky she may see a man that share the same thought or believe with her.
I will like to say this if anyone decides not to give birth or have a child he or she should discuss it first with his or her partner before getting into marriage.

In a previous comment, I explained some of the reasons why I reject the idea of ​​having children. I have a general stance against having children, but that doesn't mean I deny others their right to have children. I'll try to summarize the idea: I'm not interested in passing on my genes, nor do I care much about the continuation of the human race. I believe it is unfair to bring more victims to this already overcrowded world. I reiterate that this does not mean that those who have children are wrong. Each of us has our own convictions and principles, and I don't believe I'm offending anyone with these convictions.

It is better to have a plan and be open about it with your partner, being married without having children should be talked between partners.
They should be on the same boat, so that the relationship wouldn't be destroyed, respect each other's decision.
There are those who knows that they still couldn't afford it so they decides to bee safe and secure their future first, and I think this is way better than having a child but couldn't properly take care and love them.

Not wanting kids doesn’t mean you don’t appreciate love or commitment. It basically means you know yourself and what kind of life you want. In a conservative community it’s undoubtedly tougher to locate someone who shares that perspective but that doesn’t imply those people don’t exist. It’s just unusual and maybe more hidden. I respect that you’re being honest with yourself instead of pretending to fit into a box that isn’t for you.

Actually, not wanting children means that you don't know yourself very well. Life is built around procreation. Not having children doesn't mean that you don't want them. It simply means that there are reason why you think having them isn't practical at the time.

Except for an extremely few people, anybody who has real security in life recognizes that he wants children.

8)

I understand the reason behind your perception or decisions as a man...

It's clear to say that in this modern day of life many people, especially men are currently scard to shoulder responsibility which as a result makes them not to consider having children.some even go an extend of using protection in making love with their wife's.  Which personally I don't welcome.


But buy and large.for me, getting married and having children is ideal as a man

I don't understand why someone would post their personal opinions as if they were established scientific facts that are beyond dispute. My friend, this is called personal preference, and there are many people who have the financial, physical, and psychological capacity to have children and raise them, but would rather not do so and spend their time on other tasks. Other people prefer to adopt children rather than have more. Another type of person prefers to have children and even adopt orphans. Another type of person wants to have only one child, while others prefer to have an infinite number. If each of them imagines that they alone are right, they will inevitably see the others as wrong, and this will spark pointless discussions. It's just like religion dialogue, when each adherent of a particular religion thinks that their religion is the correct one, that their god is the true God, and that all other religions are wrong and that they should follow the same religion. While the truth is that we are different and diverse in our doctrines, beliefs, and convictions, and that is life; we cannot all be the same color, especially if our convictions do not harm anyone.

Personally, I believe it is wise to adopt a philosophy of anti-natalism, better than having children when we cannot guarantee that we will truly be able to raise them until they mature.

What does science have to do with it? Except for the literal engineering facts, science is as much of a religion as any 'god' religion. The differences with science are that men are trying to make themselves into God through their understanding of how things work, and that much of science opinion is controlled and manipulated by the wealthy elite. This means that anybody who bases his thinking on science is simply expressing a religious position or opinion just like anybody who presents a God opinion.

As far as gods go, the religion of Ancient Israel as expressed in the Bible is a religion of power. Moses did miracles from God that few others have matched since. And the apostles after the time of Jesus did many other miracles. And that is to say nothing about Jesus, himself. The Bible is a record, not a 'science' fiction writing.

Further, the Bible is a coherent writing over a 1,500 time-period. It is about salvation for mankind that was done by God, Himself, through His Son Jesus. There is no other religion like it. Certainly not science. You can tell by the many people who die in hospitals believing in medical science.

As far as this topic goes, consider the greatest pleasure that everybody has. It's the pleasure of having sex. Sex is the method for procreation. People who want to have sex without having children, are bypassing what the whole system was created for. Pleasure in sex is an inducement to have children, because that is what the whole sex pleasure is for. People who can't put 2 and 2 together about this are simply dense.

8)

I think you are a responsible person.  My kids all died I am 68 my wife is 69 so kids are not happening.

Being with my wife since our 1986 marriage has had its share of good and bad.

We wanted kids

We were expecting kids 3 times

They all died in miscarriages.

I have zero issue with you not wanting children.

Anyone that thinks you are immature or not ready does not know that for sure.

But your country if it is Arab and muslim wants kids to be born.

You will likely need to leave it as if you decide to stick to your guns and do not make kids people will think less of you.

Good luck in your decision whatever it is.

May Allah allow you to do what it is you have to do.

This is one of the most wise and mature answers I've read on this topic, demonstrating great maturity and life experience. I know you Philip as an active member on the forum and always read your posts, but this is the first time I've learned you're in your seventies. I'm so sorry for the loss of your three children. I believe it's one of the hardest things anyone can experience in their life, and I appreciate your patience and your wife's acceptance of your fate with a big heart. Life has never been fair.

I share many points with those who don't want to have children (Anti-Natalism), as they believe it's unfair to bring more children into the world when there are still children in need of care.
I also have my own opinion, which is consistent with my personal circumstances, as I cannot guarantee a good life for my son in my current circumstances. Yes, I have a job, have my own home, and a steady income, but the general situation is not conducive to anything. The situation in Arab countries has become somewhat frightening due to political dictatorship and the spread of wars and armed conflicts everywhere. I cannot guarantee my son a good living condition in my country, and I cannot leave for a better place.

Those of you who see the war in Gaza and how people are dying from hunger, lack of medicine, and the lack of hygiene facilities, including toilets, bathrooms, and even drinking water, do you think Gaza is a suitable place to give birth and raise children? I believe it is a crime for someone to give birth under such conditions. Unfortunately, births have not stopped, and people are having sex under the bombardment, giving birth to babies who die a few days later under the rubble. I am not a resident of Gaza, but it is a good example to put the concept of procreation under the microscope of reason and morality, even for once.

Gaza is so sad and the real sin is nice climate a beautiful place made into a hell by human sins.


I have watched wars happen since then1960s it amazes me that people kill so much and are so violent.

I spent 5 years in the navy . I saw all kinds of people all  over the world . It would be nice to see people be less harsh to each other.

But it is more likely I will hit 2 solom blocks mining tonight  ;D
Please take care.and I hope things work out for you.

In my view, getting married and don't like to have children or having children and don't want to get married all depends on individuals

Marriage is a unique thing and it's the Creators concept as it's stated in:

Genesis 2:18
And the LORD God said, [It is] not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

So also procreation is the Creators concept as state in:

Genesis 1:27
So God created man in his [own] image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
and
Genesis 1:28
And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

So it all depends on what you want.

I think that what OP really means is that he wants a flower girl at his wedding.  :D

8)

Not having children is actually becoming a trend here in the west, specially in the Americas, I have at least met one couple that is married and they do not have any plans to have children in the long term, because of the responsibilities associated with it and the economical costs which come attached to it, they may change their opinion in the future, however so far they have been married for two years and they have still kept their relationship childless.
Interestingly enough, I have dated at least one woman who explicitly told me she did not want to marry and have children, due to the economical situation of the country, it was something we both agreed on. So depending on the context of where your life, it could be harder or easier to find a woman who shares those perspectives you have about marriage and procreating.

I know see why you don't want children. Your concern is not really money but security. If I were from Gaza, I would never give birth in such circumstances. How can a pregnant woman survive in such a hellish condition in Gaza? Bringlng a child into hunger and danger is not good. But I don't also criticize those who are still having babies, maybe they have means of surviving. Many of them see the population as weapons against occupation. But if I am in Gaza, my major goal will be how to be safe and not have children.

According to statistics issued by the Ministry of Health in the Gaza Strip, there are 120 births every day. If we consider those born in the first nine months of the war to be the natural outcome of marital relationships, then all those born after that date are the result of an ill-considered decision. It can be classified as a criminal act to give birth to a baby in conditions such as those in Gaza, even after the ceasefire was declared. Children today are dying of hunger due to a lack of supplies, and those who survive suffer from constant shelling by tanks and aircraft. Anyone who believes that population density is a means of resistance is delusional and wants to portray themselves as heroes, but in reality, this is the product of a stupid culture that encourages unrestrained procreation.

Hahahaha 🤣😂 This your suggestion of him getting a widow with adult children really cracked me up. But the truth is that there a still few women out there who doesn't really see having of kids as the ultimate purpose in marriage. Let me give an instance, there some woman who are barren and they are still married, and some of this woman are not even a fan of adoption. Now if they see children as the ultimate, they wouldn't even consider getting married in the first place.
Funny enough I actually remember a scene in the popular movie series titled ''Blacklist'' where the star cast/ FBI Agent by name Elizabeth Keen told her husband by name Tom Keen that she doesn't want to have kids, this her decision didn't make her any less of a woman it only showed that communication and understanding in marriage is very important.

The point isn't more or less of a woman. The point is the inner comfort and desires of the woman.

Almost all women, if offered great security, will choose children. It's only when they think that their 'nest' isn't secure that they want to avoid children. Why? Because they don't want their children to be harmed.

Almost anybody can adapt themselves to circumstances. But not having children will always be a basic, deep-down, piece of unfulfillment for women. And this unfulfillment will always come out into the open at least a little, with any man she might be married to.

8)

I see it as a very good option. If you think you don't want children and you see a widow who has children that you love, it will be a very good option. Another alternative could be marrying a woman who has infertility issues. I know women who are aware of their medical conditions and will gladly marry men who don't want children. @BADecker's suggestions are essential because finding a partner who doesn't want offspring can be difficult in some societies.

Yes, I agree in principle that marrying a widow or divorcee with children, or a single mother with children, is a wiser decision than bringing more children to this damn world. I consider these children victims, and most of the children born every day are victims. Therefore, it is better to save existing victims rather than having more of them.

Personally, I have no objections to adopting and caring for a child if my financial and psychological circumstances allow me to do so. When I say I am an anti-natalist, this does not mean I am incapable of raising a child.

If you can marry and take good care of a divorcee or a widow with kids without complaining that's fine since you already admitted that you are an Anti natalist but don't you think if you are not going to need your own children to take good care of you when you get older? Taking good care of kids that are not yours is not a bad thing don't get me wrong but since you are financially capable to take good care of other kids don't you think you could get married, have a kid and make life beautiful for him or her while you take care of the already existing kids that are suffering according to your believe, think about it.

I like your expression, it is obvious that many people work against nature probably, knowingly or unknownly. It is a pitiable situation because i find it difficult believe that a man or a woman that was given birth by parents will decide to marry but not to bear children.
I think that the major reason for man and a woman to marry is for procreation and every other things is secondary. In my opinion, marriage is not complete if there are no children, and if no children, i think may be better to share our felings, issues with friends, it is just the same as not having a wife, there are no difference.

Your prospective about marriage and parenthood are cleared and valid, looking for a life partner to share experience and support each other without possibly  having children, there are women  who share same prospective and beliefs, there are single ladies out there who don’t want children because of pains associated with childbirth,  bearing children is a whole lot of work for some ladies, including stress that comes with parenting , All they want is just get a man to live happily with till they leave the planet ,they don’t let societal pressure get to them about bearing children neither having there offspring to continue their lineage.

To me you can find them on social media group that specialize on relationships and marriage or lifestyle and choices , where individual can share similar belief and prospective, also make use of dating platforms so you can state your choice and preferences and values that can connect you to same people with have same belief and decisions, lastly when you meet your potential partner make sure you communicate your choice and goal , try to be honest with them in other to meet people with same decisions and value .

Some persons prefers to only have kids without marrying anybody and this is not only the idea of the men but is also how some women do, perhaps they feel having only children without a husband or a wife will give them all the opportunity and chance to explore life and in as much as it might be contrary to what we define marriage but we can not force someone to do otherwise, so actually everybody's decisions and choices about this might not be wrong about it because at last is about happiness, so long as is what you want, for me i will like to have even more than two kids. however even if Bible stated about the importance of partner but it didn't make it a compulsory thing for everybody because you have the right to decide for yourself weather you will go by it or not.

This is one of the worst beliefs anyone can adopt: having children as part of a retirement plan.
Who told you that the child you will raise will later agree to help you when you get elder? Who gave you the right to determine the will of a free person and thus make him a slave to your will? People who think this way are extremely selfish and use the idea of ​​procreation as a plan to serve his own interests. Humans are the only ones who think this way because nature depends on reproduction to continue the species, not to help helpless adults. Imagine any animal that reproduces by instinct, but its goal is to continue the species and spread its genes, and it is a normal pattern among all creatures.

There are no guarantees. It simply depends on the love and loyalty that you show your children while they are growing up. That's why it is a good idea to have and lovingly support a bunch of them... so that if one turns against you, the rest won't.

The idea of continuing the species with regard to human reproduction, is so far off base that it is laughable. God controls the replenishing of everything. Our children are His children at the same time.

8)

I respect your beliefs, but I don't think God cares for everyone. There are children in Gaza dying of hunger every day. Yes, you read that right, "dying of hunger," and no one bears the consequences, especially children born in war.

One of the most false beliefs in religious societies is that God is responsible for the sustenance of all creation, so there is nothing wrong with having more children, even if we cannot take care of them.
In the past, I knew a single mother from Europe who had five children and worked as a waitress in a bar. It is impossible for her to provide well for them or take care of all their needs on her own. Moreover, the five children are from different fathers and all living in different countries, refusing to acknowledge their fatherhood. Isn't having children a crime committed by the mother and her five loved ones against those five children? Where is your God in all of this?

God DOES care for everyone. He did it by making a perfect universe. Mankind destroyed the perfection for themselves, but the only reason why anyone has ANY good is that God is maintaining it for them.

God absolutely is responsible for the sustenance of the whole universe. In the Lord's prayer spoken by Jesus, the 4th petition is, "Give us today our daily bread." Bread couldn't exist without the whole universe and the physics of it all that allow grains to grow, yeasts to do their job, and all of it, including all the other foods besides bread. God upholds it all.

God made the universe to be good. He says so in Genesis chapter 1. It is people who don't pick up the goodness of the universe, and use it to maintain themselves properly. However, when they die, God catches their spirits, and will give them a new body in the Resurrection. People could live a lot longer in this life if they would use the things of nature better.

So you see? God takes care of it all, even though we don't understand very well, and even though He doesn't seem to be there at some times.

If the mother from Europe had been wise, she would have made sure that she had an enforceable contract with the guys, especially after the first one. Can she help it that she is dumb? God is taking care of her. And since this whole world will be gone someday, she needs to prepare with Jesus so that she gets her new body in the Resurrection.

8)

Marriage is mostly for companionship, having a partner that you share same purpose with.. You not wanting to have Kids is nothing bad, but then finding a partner that will agree on those terms will be pretty hard, because even if she wants to not have kids, how about pressure from both families, we live in a society where after One from marriage and In-laws are not seeing signs of pregnancy they immediately start asking questions and what not.

Have seen couples who agreed to not having kids and they're enjoying their marriage. Reasons best known to them. Kids comes with alot of responsibility that both partners should prepare for, and also make room alot of changes. I don't think if there's any Lady out there who wouldn't want to have a child of their own, for me I think you need to just prepare your mind about marriage and all that comes with it.

Well pressure coming from the society for deciding not to have kids depends on the country and city you are, in my country Nigeria the pressure from the society will be too much because in Nigeria they expect a woman that gets married to give birth so making such decision in my country won't be easy, you will receive a lot of insult and criticism from people even from your own family, there was a husband and a wife that made a decision that they will never give birth because of how the pressure from the society was much they decided to give birth.

Yes you are right Pearl_20 giving birth comes with a lot of responsibility and some set of people are not ready to take up that responsibility, some people says if you are not ready to give birth then don't get married but I don't agree with that just like you said Marriage is mostly for companionship, having a partner that you share same purpose with, I think this is the main reason for marriage and not just to have children.
But I really don't know what will make some decide never to have a child of his or her own.

It's a personal choice,but first in first,it should be an agreement between you and your wife to be.

That is to say,you need to discuss with your wife to be first and have a concrete agreement before proceeding to even marrying her.

If you make such drastic decision without the consent of your wife to be... Trust me you are on your own.

I created a topic on this sometime ago (https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=5496553.msg64080035#msg64080035) about procreation and just like i said in that thread that it is not necessary for everyone to reproduce because there are a lot of children in the world that needs attention but they are getting less or no attention and when you go to Orphanage homes you see so many children living unhealthy lives when these children can be adopted and taken care of by the society but they are left to their own fate and most of them grows up with a wrong narrative about the society, they feel isolated, dejected and rejected without parents to look up to, we should concentrate more on taking care of children and make sure they have a good understanding about the environment they find themselves instead of bringing more children to the world.

One thing God gave to us is ability to make choice, some that are abstract from the normal human believe. Choices won't stop, if OP chooses to go through this way of being in union then we have nothing to contribute or find a way to dissolve his decision. You do what you want for yourself, marriage is a good thing but let's not forget that so many men have been hindered deep into poverty and tied down because of family and case of paying child supports since the marriage couldn't work out.

Marrying a single mother with kids, is no good option. People who suggest this don't understand what it feels like taking part in a child life that isn't own flesh and blood, if he searches deeper there might be some ladies with the same marriage view as him, his search is a difficult one so it will take time compared to finding a partner who wants to have children.

Depends on the men's quality.

If he's widower, not physically attractive and not financially stable, it's very hard for him to get a partner, but he has a chance to marry a single mother with kids.

If he's single, not physically attractive and not financially stable, he could get a partner.

That's why people who suggest to marry single mother with kids are mostly old people who're widowers.

I don't think it's normal for someone who is capable of reproducing to decide to adopt a child, I've never seen that before, you have whatever it takes to have children but choose not to because many children are looking for someone to adopt and care for them, all that I've seen in my life unless the person is unable to reproduce and decides on adopting a child or they adopt when they don't want to give birth to a lot of children.

Will you care for someone else's children while you fail to have your own? Do you believe you may have the same feelings as if you were caring for your own children? There are many orphans out there looking for safety but no one to care for them. You mentioned that everyone does not need to reproduce, but would you be okay with someone you did not bring into this world achieving what you have been working for so many years? I doubt it.

I have read your initial post and some few replies under it. I noticed how a lot of people here misunderstood your post and only few understand your point. This doesn't sound strange to me because I have come across people online who share similar view as yours before and they're even ladies. Although, this is probably the first time hearing this from a man. These ladies clearly said their mind that they don't want to suffer pregnancy and childbirth talk more of raising a child. They were criticised and called all sort of names but who cares, it's online and everyone share their opinions.

However, the issue of procreation is supposed to be a personal choice just the same way couples decide on what number of children they should have. Nobody should be look down upon or lose their reputation for deciding not to have a child. Some women are naturally barren and this shows having a child is never compulsory but a choice. I hope you'll find your type soonest.

This is precisely the problem. Considering having children as a personal decision gives a person the power to do whatever they want without taking into account the potential consequences for them or their children.

Personally, I don't consider it a personal decision in the absolute sense, since what I call a personal decision could cause trouble and risk to a child who is not at fault except for the selfish decision I made to have them. Furthermore, it is not an individual decision, since it requires the partner's consent.
In other words, if I am committed to fulfilling my responsibilities toward that child, regardless of the circumstances, then how can I guarantee that my partner will fulfill those same responsibilities?

Reality tells us of disasters and tragedies that occur in all societies and across all social classes due to the incompetence of one or both parents to fulfill those responsibilities, and there are no mechanisms for accountability for this.

there are also many women in this era who want to get married without having children but then it seems difficult to find them in areas where the population is still considered conservative then you can look for it in the elite area and then some times i found it in the club

Hmm this post is really something else, are you an anti christ? It's only an impotent that can make sure post, like do you know the joy on seeing kids jumping up and down your home? House rather because it's kids and wife that makes home but with this post it seems you ain't ready for a home, like my best advice to you is to make an absolute turnover on this you post.

Yes, it’s possible to get married without having a child since there are also some women who want to marry but they don't want to give birth because they don’t want to suffer a pregnancy from one place to another, but it’s common in only a few places where they can see it has been done. Because it’s not proper how a person will get married and adopt a child, I think it’s not normal.

But the one that I know is common is that a lot of men are like, Well, there are some men that like to get married but don’t want to have many children. That’s why most of the women apply for family planning after their husbands have permitted them. And that’s why we can see most families have 2 to 3 kids only in all families.

Sorry for your loss, I guess it must be very difficult for you and your wife when you needed the kids and they all died in miscarriages. I think that you case is very different from the OP who has never tried to have kids because he doesn't want them. You needed kids but unfortunately they didn't stay, you and your wife got older and moved on, I'm glad that you both have each other. There are categories of people that don't have kids, the ones that don't want, the ones that tried but it didn't workout, then the ones that conceived but lost their child or children like in your case.

I know that most couples wants kids to complete them as a nuclear family, father, mother and children, some will go for adoption if they cannot conceive. I hope that OP finds his perfect match, a lady that shares his dream of not having kids too.

That's a great decisions I support you go for it.
You deserve it
 cheers 🍻🍻

Lots of people are having children without being married. But that's a State marriage. So do it this way, by simple agreement/contract. And make sure of what you are doing, first.

8)

EDIT: Note that sleeping with a person has historically meant that they married, even if their marriage wasn't recorded by legal means.

The only difference was if they were agreeing to share a bed without marriage. But then they had to act that part.

Life is full of perceptions, op if deeply I understand I can assure you that your desires is easy just an issue of time you will find such who are ready to obey and also having your concept towards marriage, there is nothing new and even mandatory for child bearing.
Procreation is good but I see it as choice and gift of nature, "why" there are couples who married with mind set to procreate but couldn't even having tired all means but seems impossible for them, our declaration are highly accepted by nature if you have made such decision in the spirit rhyme even if your opponent insist you may end up not procreating because your spirit is not connected to it.

The truth must told, pregnancy is a natural grift to every woman and the pains, inconveniences associated with pregnancy is just natural, it ordained to be. Any woman/man who feel he/she cannot bear children but will marry is just nonsense because it better they absent from sexual intercourse.
Naturally speaking, the coming togetheris of both man and a woman is designed for conception and not for entertainment women/men who said they not have children but will married is laughable because the results of sex relationship is giving birth to children, simple.

First of all you have to relocate to another country where having children is not really a big deal, so you won't feel the pressure from the people around. But sincerely speaking, I don't see any need why you should get married if you are not playing on getting children. To me the essence of getting married is just to raise kids. So anything other than this is secondary. Luckily for you, you are still single so just remain single for the rest of your life and and you will achieve your aim. But if you must be with a woman as a life partner, abolish any thoughts of not having kids, because to women love having children it is so important to them. But on a serious note, why would someone despise having children especially when you have the means to provide for them?

Getting married is a completely personal matter. Some people can do it if they want, and some people can remain celibate for the rest of their lives if they don't. However, I consider marriage to be a bond that is a gift from the Creator. Through marriage, the bond between husband and wife is created. And life continues in an orderly manner.

However, it is not a matter of having children if you get married. There are many couples in the world who do not have children, so why do they not live together as husband and wife? Again, there are many countries in the world where husband and wife decide not to have children.

In fact, the main thing is for two people to live happily together for the rest of their lives.

It is of course a personal matter whether you like having children or not, but I think that those who decide not to have children may dislike it now, but when they get older they regret it, because then the loneliness becomes more pronounced, people's situations will never be the same all the time, now you may be much better off without children, but what about your future? Will you be able to earn money all your life? Will your physical health always be the same? Won't you grow old? If you don't have children, it may be difficult to find sympathy, companionship and care in old age. If you find having children annoying now, you will regret it in the future, when you are no longer strong. So if you decide not to have children, you will only face negative situations as a result, may be not now, but surely in the future.
Not having children naturally is another matter, but if you deliberately refrain from having children despite having the ability, then the consequences will certainly be dire.

I am a bit surprised by what the OP said, behind the many people who have been married for decades and hope to have children, but unfortunately God has not granted their wishes. But on the other hand, you want to get married but don't want to have children. I think this is a bit strange, because the birth of a child is the fruit of love from a marriage.

But this goes back to the readiness of each individual, because taking care of children is not an easy matter. But believe me, with the birth of a child, this will further strengthen your family relationship. Children can be a bond between husband and wife. And when you decide not to have a child, be prepared for the silence and solitude of your house, no one to greet you when you come home after a tiring day at work.

It seems to me that it greatly depends on people and their perception of life. Others really are content to live child-free and they establish very good support systems in the way of other friends or community and even through meaning-generating careers. Although children would be a good source of joy and support later in life, the solution of happiness or support in old age is not guaranteed by children. Even people who have children find themselves lonely or without support. Therefore I believe one should choose having or not having children out of love and desire rather than fear of becoming lonely later in life.

Greetings to the house, people with their different perspective of life, for me I see no reason why I want to get married without any plans of having a kids, children are blessing from God that complete a family. Having children in marriage comes with a lot of responsibility and challenges and at the same time come with blessings and fulfillment as well.

However, life is a choice, every persons with his or her own choice of life, but if you ask me my primary purpose of getting married is to build up a family and continue my leanage, thank you.

Getting married without children is the way it is supposed to be. Children come later... except in the case where a man decides to support children of his wife from her former marriage.

Children are a blessing, especially in later life, even though there are many trials with child rearing.

If you marry someone with the idea that they will change their mind, and want to have children later, don't be surprised if they don't change their mind. So, choose with the idea that they might be telling the truth when they say that they don't want children. Then go find someone else.

8)

Getting married without children is the best thing, because bible made us to understand that a man will grow to a setting stage, he will live his parents and get married (he who fined a wife, fined a good thing and obtain favour from God). A man need to get married before he will think of having children.

Good point, any man that is not ready to have children, should just forget about marriage thing, because there is no how that one will get married that sex won't be involved and if one is have an intimacy with their partner, their partner will surely get pregnant and there are some women that don't like practicing the act of abortion, they will want to have the baby, which you won't be able to escape than to accept the fact.

Also, babies are what brings joy or happiness to families, when one looks at them, you will be touch to carry them or be with them, and babies bring in luck to their family and every other positive things that makes the family to be whole and in harmony too.

As you said that you like to get married without having children, i know that it is a personal decision due to what you might have been passing through in a relationship or what you have been seeing within your environment with dose that is married, I'm not here to convince you to go back from your personal decision about marriage but i want to tell you more about having children in the family, because having children is the beauty of any marriage, and i know that getting married, there is many things that is involved which means you really need to meet the right partner because marriage is all about life journey that the both partners will stick together and think of the process where you have all the money and no children that can bear your name or family name when you are no more, that means your chapter have closed,  because you were not able to keep your family name going, and you should understand that once you have married and your people waited for years and there is know cry of a baby in your house, your people will start calling you barren and with this name that people will calling you, you can't afford to with stand the pressure coming from wife family and that of your own family, so i want to you to understand children is a bending agent to any family because children always bring happiness and everlasting of a marriage.

I don't need a prophet  to tell me that you are a Nigerian. I wonder what you have to tell him about child bearing.

Who said so?
The beauty of every marriage is finding a beautiful soul mate to love.

When you die, your chapter is closed. What does children bearing your name or family's name do to you when you are dead?

So you want to marry and born so that people won't call you barren and pressure you. It's obvious you are living for people, you don't have the right to advice OP who knows what he wants.

No points bro. You are coming from your cultural background. Grow up to the international standard and you will see from the angle Op is seeing.

Children could bring joy and happiness to couples, but not all of them want kids. Some married people are comfortable living without children.

A dead man doesn't know what happens to his name or wealth. The families who gave birth to criminals regret having them.  I don't care about my name if I die.

Who cares about what people say about me? They can call me all sorts of names, that's their business.

I can understand your position which is actually the position of the majority. I also respect your choice to have children as you consider it a source of happiness in married life with the right partner.
But let me discuss the idea from another angle by asking few questions: There are many infertile people who cannot have children for biological reasons; does this mean their marriage will not be happy or that they are not happy people just because of this? Personally, i don't think so.
There are people who get married in worst condition of war, as is currently happening in Gaza and Ukraine; do you see it fair to have children in armed conflict conditions such as wars?

Answering these questions can help you see the comcept as something that should be a responsible decision made rationally and not just an emotional impulse.

This is your choice and I respect the fact that you are being true to yourself and the ladies you have dated, but I must tell you that you will definitely have a tough time finding someone like the same opinion about kids because 80% or probably 90% of women in the world want kids because no matter how you try to justify your choices, no family is complete without kids. As humans we are bound to procreate and since you don't want it, I suggest you change your environment because living in an Arabic country with a conservative culture is going to make it hard for you to get what you want.

I'm a Nigerian and having children is one of the key to a blissful marriage, I need children around me incase I grow old, I take care of my old parents and my children will also take care of me, I don't wish to grow old without any children to care and pamper me.

So, one of your goals when you decided to have a child in a miserable reality like the one in Nigeria was part of your retirement plan? So you are risking having a child and taking care of them for more than 20 years to ensure that in the last years of your life, when you are helpless, there will be someone to take care of you? This is absolutely one of the most selfish ideas.

What if your child suffers from the poor conditions of the country and lives in poverty? Will they be able to take care of themselves and their family, as well as you and perhaps their mother too? 

I believe your thinking is limited, and because of these ideas, you cannot be someone capable of proper upbringing. It is not surprising that you sacrifice the happiness of one of your children just for your personal comfort. Please stop having more children and do not teach your children these ideas.

Exactly, I would rather have children and not marry than marrying and not having children. The issue is that some families are staying together today because of their children. I have heard a lady said if not for my children I would have divorced this man. And another thing is because of old age, at least you will see people to look after you.

yes in my country their are women who share same perspective which you share,  there is an actress who is currently acting in Nollywood that said that she is not interested in having children that she don't want her breast to slack and there also some career women that don't have time at all for married talk of having, because they see taking care of children as stress.

I got your point bro, and I know people will think you're running away from responsibilities but that's not true, because marriage is by choice even the holy book made clear to us that marriage is not mandatory for a man or for woman and if anyone is doubting this my comment they can go and read 1 Corinthians 7:8 and 9.

Secondly there are women who share the same perspectives of yours, they don't want to get married talk more of bear children, because they see taking care of children as stress. Although there are some women who are just following what the holy book said, they don't want to get married because the holy book said is not mandatory for man or for woman to get married.

But as for me I we like to get married and I want my wife to bear me children, but not more than 2 children, because I can only handle two children hardship is much and things are very expensive and the government is not doing anything about it.

Death is not enough to challenge creation. Opposite sexes attracts and that's what marriage is about, a legal form of reproduction in the civilized world. It wasn't a choice for most people who didn't have kids in a marriage, to choose, many had difficulty giving birth. I'm not sure except for a contract marriage, that I've confirmed couple who stay fully happy with no kids in the house.

Children are gifts from God although we can decide not to have children it's our personal decision. Me my own is that I would have loved to just go into contract with a lady and after the child birth , the baby will stay with you to some years and I will come and pick them.

The topic is an interesting one. Marriage itself is a divine institution for matured minds, but me instead of marriage without children, I will not even marry. The essence of marriage is for procreation. Though personal decision is also there. Some marriages are strong because of children, my own is that am just scared of even pregnanting my wife cause of pains I see women pass through during pregnancy, children in marriage makes home fun.

I really don't see how getting married with the intention of not having  children is an option from where I am from. I don't think any lady will like to hear that from a man that she wants to get married too, but with the western civilization maybe you can find a lady to have that agreement with you.
To be honest with you, I don't think you will find a lady that will want to do it. So I think you its better you don't get married than to get married and intentionally decide not to have children.

I have found few options since i post this topic. Most of them are widows or divorced women who already have children and don't want to have more. Two other girls are about 40 years old and just think they don't have much time left to rise a child perfectly. Briefly, none of them has a principal of anti-natalism and just want to not have children for other reasons.

All those offers i found in a facebook post i posted recently but it's also worth mentioning that all the women i contacted are originated from the same society culture i have. Maybe i can find better options in Reddit network as i discovered there is a full dedicated sub-reddit for anti-natalists.

Yeah there are females, even in traditional Arab communities that don't want children it's not common but it's true, when you go to the west you will find that adults below the age of 50 that are picking to live a childless life is up to 50% and increasing . The Sharia law views reproduction as a norm but many judges permit optional no child rights if you have hardships or personal finance problems. If you want this type of relationship you should use apps or groups like CFdating, ChildfreeLove, Reddit r/childfree. and be totally sincere in the beginning, your goals should be about chemistry, not offspring by default.

True, hence @OP said all of his relationship ended and not last long to formal relationship.

Most women want to have a baby, I think it's because their motherly instinct to have a baby.

Childfree women are between two types, first usually they're rich (which is @OP isn't in her league) or second they ask a proof which is vasectomy. I mean, if men choose to commit to childfree, why they're not dare with vasectomy? the logic is like that. Human can change, so men who choose to childfree and not vasectomy might want to have a baby in the future.

Well I do not think you are alone for not wanting to have children. There is alot of men in this world that does not want to have kids. And you can find women like this too.

For me I do want to have kids when I find a right woman. I did not want to but I have 2 nephews that I do really love. So some day I want to find a woman to have kids with them. It is not like this for each man you can not feel bad for not wanting to have kids with a wife.