Reserved for future content.

Yes, theymos. Taxing my memory, either I called the Texas PD to follow up or they contacted me shortly thereafter to let me know all is well. I say taxing my memory because I may have the particulars mixed up with another suicide episode on this board where I was able to call the person in question's local PD where it may have been that case were follow-up was made (if not both).

Speaking of Atlas, he called me close to two years ago from Australia just to say hey. Just small talk during the convo.

Full Disclosure: Not sure how the others get paid but I'm compensated for trolling by giving blowjobs to my handlers (or am I their handlers?).

That outta the way, scroll up and read my latest post where you'll learn that I'm on a mission from God to make lending programs great again.

Jah made me do it --> https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=3279318.0. For those afraid to click the link, it's a thread depicting the creation of a bona fide lending program. Any early adopters here willing to get rich via CPM?

Update: Airdrop campaign now live: https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=3305919.0. This'll help guarantee a full downline for early Ponziarians who Seed.

Update: See https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=3279318.msg34305259#msg34305259 to read how we're incentivizing the first 13 folks who Seed Church of the Ponzion Mind.


Please note: This endeavor is NOT satire or the likes thereof. Any humor encountered within is merely an extension of my personality.



Introduction:

The crypto community was sadden with the demise of BitConnect and most every other lending program-cum-Ponzi scheme clone with the exception of those opting to not partake in what's deemed snake oil-esque shenanigans. But good news is on the horizon for those who believe.

Excerpt from The Miracle of Seed Faith:


The Method:

Introducing Church of the Ponzion Mind, a newly sanctioned NRM cyberchurch catering to devotees of all faiths who conjointly embrace the sweet smell of success like flies attracted to a fresh steamy pile of horse shit that Ponzis are infamously known to offer.

Our mission is to accept, embody, demonstrate and declare love for all people regardless of their religious affiliation (past or present) while providing a platform for crypto enthusiasts desiring to Seed within their means.

Parishioners of Church of the Ponzion Mind are recognized as Ponziarians, each planting a Seed of faith of at least U$100, whereupon they're gifted equal-in-value CPM to either sacrifice, trade or hodl, Harvesting a minimum 0.5247% interest compounded daily if the latter. Unlike former lending programs, Ponziarians have full control of their CPM coins.

Elgo: ERC20
Token: CPM
Total Supply: 52,475,247
[Fixed] Price Per CPM: U$0.5247

Inspiration:


Initial inspiration: https://futurism.com/bitcoin-cult-church-brooklyn/.

First proposed/iteration: https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=1681719.msg33822571#msg33822571.

Televangelists: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO) --> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7y1xJAVZxXg (17,667,259 views and counting), cementing the legality of Church of the Ponzion Mind. Can churches accept Seed funding regardless what they opt to call said practice? Yes. Can churches reward those who Seed according to some formula, disclosed (as in our case) or not? Yes.

Perhaps a page in our Hymnal ...


Hierarchy, Faith Seeding & Harvest:

• Witness: Sow U$100
  
  • 0.5247% int. comp. daily: 1st Harvest 133 days; 2nd Harvest 210 days; 3rd Harvest 265 days
• Elder: Sow U$500
  
  • 1.0494% int. comp. daily: 1st Harvest 67 days; 2nd Harvest 106 days; 3rd Harvest 133 days
• Minister: Sow U$1,000
  
  • 1.5741% int. comp. daily: 1st Harvest 45 days; 2nd Harvest 71 days; 3rd Harvest 89 days
• Bishop: Sow U$5,000
  
  • 2.0988% int. comp. daily: 1st Harvest 34 days; 2nd Harvest 53 days; 3rd Harvest 67 days
• Cardinal: Sow U$10,000
  
  • 2.6235% int. comp. daily: 1st Harvest 27 days; 2nd Harvest 43 days; 3rd Harvest 54 days

All Seed amounts are fixed but you're encouraged to sow additional Seeds, for the more you sow, the more you'll reap.

Refferal Program - 3X4 Forced Matric:

As new Ponziarians enter the fold, they'll be added to the downline, whereupon additional payouts will be doled to former Ponziarians according to the following schedule:

• 1st Tier (3 Ponziarians): 10%
• 2nd Tier (9 Ponziarians): 7%
• 3rd Tier (27 Ponziarians): 4%
• 4th Tier (81 Ponziarians): 1%

Thus, Ponziarians will reap no less than U$282 based on if all the 120 devotees below them Seed the minimum U$100; more if any Seed U$500, U$1,000, U$5,000 or U$10,000, not to mention subsequent Seeds sowed, mostly at U$100.

Remittance will be in four payments as each tier is filled, paid in BTC, BCH or ETH, i.e. if all Seed U$100: U$30; U$63; U$108; U$81 (respectively). Yes, you can opt to Seed your downline rewards for a more bountiful Harvest.

Ponziarians can request that their subsequent Seeds be place in the 1st Tier directly below them, in essence enjoying a 10% discount on those Seeds. Such placements will be timestamped accordingly for Harvest rewards. The aforementioned practice is NOT recommended as we approach one million Ponziarians.

Participation:

CMP are rewarded in Seed lots of U$100 up to U$10,000 (see Hierarchy, Faith Seeding & Harvest: above) at the fixed rate of U$0.5247 per, equating to 191 CPM for U$100.


The first person to Seed U$100 via ETH will not only receive 191 CPM (100/0.5247 = 190.58509625) but will be able to redeem them 191 CPM for U$100+ in BTC, BCH or ETH in 16 days, 8+ times quicker than the calculated 133 days for the earliest Harvest date in achieving an ROI when compounding 0.5247% interest daily according to THIS SITE. Plus, you'll be at the very top of the referral matrix, guaranteeing you the first [minimum] U$282 payout in short order.

Bonuses:

Excluding the first Ponziarian mentioned in Participation: above, bonuses for founding Ponziarians are as follows:

• #1 - 13 Ponziarians: Harvests are reaped 4 times quicker and referral rewards are tripled
• #14 - 121 Ponziarians: Harvests are reaped 2 times quicker and referral rewards are doubled
• #122 - 1,093 Ponziarians: Harvests are reaped 1.5 times quicker and referral rewards are 1.5X

See Lucky 13: below FAQ: regarding an additional bonus for the first 13 Ponziarians.

FAQ:

Q. Are there plans for a physical building for Church of the Ponzion Mind?
A. Yes, preferably a historic vacant church in the country with acreage.

Q. Is there an ICO in the works?
A. No, albeit Initial Church Offering rolls off the tongue nicely and could've easily been marketed as such. Bonuses for early Ponziarians who Seed (see Bonuses: above) will quasi-act as an ICO.

Q. What happens once participation becomes lackluster? Do you have an exit scam strategy?
A. No need for an exit strategy. We'll simply reboot where the last 10% who've Seeded will be first in line to be at the top of the modified model followed by the previous 10%, continuing all the way up to the top 10% who first Seeded - enjoying Harvests - prior to allowing new Ponziarians into the fold in perpetuating the scheme. See Lucky 13: below for further considerations.

Q. Where's your fuckin website?
A. Forthcoming, dude, and watch your language in case children are present.

Q. What state or country do you plan on having your charter in?
A. Would it shock you if it were the US? That's the plan, bud, including registering with the IRS as an NPO.

Q. Will CPM be available to trade on exchanges?
A. Yes, on as many as possible including featured on CMC. Regardless of the exchange rates on the various crypto exchanges, ALL CPM in our control will be offered at the fixed rate of U$0.5247 each.

Q. Will somebody on staff at Church of the Ponzion Mind pray for a Harvest of my Seed?
A. We believe that it's best for you to pray for your desired outcome since your voice would be louder than any of ours.

Q. Is it true that the person who founded Church of the Ponzion Mind is User of the Year on this (BitcoinTalk) forum?
A. Yes, so if you're looking to Seed a venture whose principals are unknown, then don't waste any further time on this thread.

Lucky 13:

The first 13 Ponziarians who Seed will be able to jump queue during any and all future Ponzis directly after the first round of the bottom 10% Ponziarians of the previous Ponzi had an opportunity to enroll first. See FAQ 3 above if not versed, asking questions if this concept or any others are unclear.

Scripture of the day:


Bruno aka Ponziarch Fiddy V (V as in 5th opposed to I, II, etc.)

Projected garb of choice when officiating ...

Came here to see if such was the case and if so would you admit it. Class! Now go back outside and play in the snow. 

Your welcome, bud.

Those were the good ole days like when Atlas tried to commit suicide and I sent the police to his home to make sure he's okay.

theymos has been known to trick us on April Fool's day over the past few years. He's also been known to expel tricksters from our midst --> https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=45298.0 (NOW THAT WAS FUNNY !!!).

<toyin' with a new reply concept - reply to replies with a former replyer's reply>

That outta the way, any new celeb et al. submissions?

Another piece of shit I busted.


Tunisia is referring to Mark Castley.

The last ten submissions have been added to the OP and second post of this thread.

Any others?

<replying with one of my main alts>

I literally just got off the phone with Geren (in Vegas now at his daughter's wedding), thus there is an update to report. Geren has convinced a friend/associate of his to also come on board as an investor in getting the endeavor up and running. Combined, they're willing to put up 80-100K, where they'll be paying expenses as they arise with me being fully in the know in confirming that moneys have indeed been allocated to devs et al. The lawyers are still doing the paperwork, etc., now having to include the name of the third party (Geren told me his name - twice - but at this penning, for the life of me I can't recall it, with apologies, for a tad tired is my excuse).

Bruno

Dude, you're gonna make me blush.

In our heaven, it's Lambos and lambs, albeit there's a petition to include kids (read: young goats, you pervs).


The current working name of the envisioned religious org is Church of the Ponzion Mind (ticker CPM) going hand-in-hand with my new garb of choice when officiating ...


<that is so motherfuckin rad>


Exactly! Though personally I'm not into such, I'll allow the Ponziarians to put it up for a vote in seeing if it'll be included as a sanctioned belief right after I push for the kids-in-heaven agenda.

Okay, I looked long and hard and came up empty-handed. I couldn't find a singe 2-D hologram, all of them 3-D resembling their 3-D real-life counterparts.

The OP and second post of this thread have been updated with the latest submissions, thanking, again, all those who've kindly participated by supplying your suggestions.

Any others?

Earth is flat like a pancake. The moon is a cupcake. The planets are muffins. The stars are wedding cakes. And the universe is made up mostly of dark frosting. Black holes are strawberry chocolate fountains where nobody can escape its temptation.

People of all faiths will be welcome at Our Lady of Responsible Ponzism where the seeds they sow will be returned to them multi-fold in the name of whatever lord they embrace.

Let's make Carlos' wife proud of him again. I'm reserving the position of Cardinal Carlos for the US overseeing Bishop James and Bishop Grant. Since the aforementioned treated BitConnect as a religion, I'm simply expanding the model to a true religion where lending crypto is sanctioned for bona fide parishioners aka Ponziarians.