You just need to get a job that pays in BTC every week. Starting salary of $750k should be close to about right. Maybe you could take an overnight class tonight to become a brain surgeon or grab your MBA real quick and open up a hedge fund.
I'm looking for something that doesn't have a private key on it, more like something where people go to a website and redeem it. Does something like this exist?
What's the difference between a private key and some code you give them to redeem it?