Fees are a matter of preference...
If you join a no fee server, and don't get much help, it might be good to join a fee server. You can get helpful benefits.
also likewise, if you're on a fee server, and got getting any benefit out of it, then got to a no fee server, where even if you get ignored it'll cost ya nothin!
Most pools do keep transaction fees, and I read somewhere that they usually take 1BTC for every block solved (which gets 50BTC for the pool)
I'm quite happy with EclipseMC. No fee. I can buy credits to get a sms if something goes wrong (.1 bitcoin for 100 sms, BARGAIN!)
I donate 1% of my profits, and will do more once I've paid off my mining equipment. We get looked after pretty good there.
If you're after mining support, nothing beats
http://www.bitcointalk.org/