galdur (OP)
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November 13, 2015, 07:05:21 PM |
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1. If you are attacked by an anaconda, do not run. The snake is faster than you are.
2. Lie flat on the ground. Put your arms tight against your sides, your legs
tight against one another
3. Tuck your chin in.
4. The snake will come and begin to nudge and climb over your body.
5. Do not panic
6. After the snake has examined you, it will begin to swallow you from the feet
and - always from the end. Permit the snake to swallow your feet and ankles.
Do not panic
7. The snake will now begin to suck your legs into its body. You must lie
perfectly still. This will take a long time.
8. When the snake has reached your knees slowly and with as little
movement as possible, reach down, take your knife and very gently slide it into
the side of the snake's mouth between the edge of its mouth and your leg, then
suddenly rip upwards, severing the snake's head.
9. Be sure you have your knife.
10. Be sure your knife is sharp.
Good luck!
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Gleb Gamow
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November 13, 2015, 08:30:48 PM |
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Male or female anaconda? If the latter ...
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galdur (OP)
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November 13, 2015, 08:47:34 PM |
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Unfortunately for anacondas consumption of humans hasn´t played a meaningful part in their evolution otherwise they´d have figured out long ago to start with the head end or if that´s not practical make sure that the prey is stone dead before consumption starts.
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kingaltcoins
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November 13, 2015, 09:01:53 PM |
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Great idea but what to do when it tries to inject venom on the legs before swallowing?
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kingaltcoins
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November 13, 2015, 09:07:54 PM |
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One is curled up on my lap as I type this!
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galdur (OP)
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November 13, 2015, 09:16:07 PM |
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Anacondas kill by constriction and as far as they´re concerned if it doesn´t move it´s safe for consumption. Which is a rather lengthy process for something as large as a human. They don´t waste time and energy on constricting something that is already still. It´s just another carcass to them. Thus it´s key to play dead and don´t panic.
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erikalui
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November 13, 2015, 09:17:12 PM |
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And what if you don't have a kinfe?
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kingaltcoins
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November 13, 2015, 09:17:53 PM |
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What about a Russel viper !
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galdur (OP)
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November 13, 2015, 09:19:23 PM |
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And what if you don't have a kinfe?
If you don´t have a knife you didn´t read the manual and will suffer death by suffocation before becoming a meal for the anaconda.
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kingaltcoins
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November 13, 2015, 09:21:55 PM |
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And what if you don't have a kinfe?
Then use your teeth or your nails (if they are sharp enough like girls do )! Or die like a Samaritan!
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Arcteryx
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November 13, 2015, 09:29:57 PM |
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And what if you don't have a kinfe?
A ki-nife? I think I have heard of one of these before. It is combination of a knife and a kite. Right? It would definitely be useful against an anaconda if your trapped in one.
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coolcoinz
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November 13, 2015, 09:37:52 PM |
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Anacondas attack in the water so if you get attacked you have to fight back or you're dead. You won't be able to run and if you don't have anything sharp it should be over in less than a minute.
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galdur (OP)
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November 13, 2015, 09:46:06 PM |
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Anacondas attack in the water so if you get attacked you have to fight back or you're dead. You won't be able to run and if you don't have anything sharp it should be over in less than a minute.
Big anacondas that could eat humans also hunt on the ground although they spend most of the time in the water and in marshes.
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Arcteryx
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November 13, 2015, 09:47:09 PM |
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Anacondas attack in the water so if you get attacked you have to fight back or you're dead. You won't be able to run and if you don't have anything sharp it should be over in less than a minute.
I think you watched that movie with J.Lo to many times. They don't always attack in the water. Sure they are faster in the water but they live in the jungle so can attack you there too. So they hang in trees and when they feed they go in the water where they are faster. The nature channel is a wonderful thing
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Arcteryx
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November 13, 2015, 09:48:44 PM |
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Anacondas attack in the water so if you get attacked you have to fight back or you're dead. You won't be able to run and if you don't have anything sharp it should be over in less than a minute.
Big anacondas that could eat humans also hunt on the ground although they spend most of the time in the water and in marshes. Exactly, good man! You know these things and watch the nature shows too. I have also read some books on the subject too after watch the Blood Orchid movie
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galdur (OP)
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November 13, 2015, 10:02:20 PM Last edit: November 13, 2015, 10:31:24 PM by galdur |
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It´s a fascinating animal which can swallow big prey but even the biggest ones mostly subside on small, quick and easy prey birds, fish, rodents and such. Big catch is good, a deer or a human probably means that the snake can take a few weeks off from eating but the downside is that swallowing and processing takes time and in the meantime the snake is vulnerable against other predators that might be interested in taking a bite out of it. I guess evolution leads to increasing practicality.
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SISAR
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November 13, 2015, 10:26:24 PM |
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And what if you don't have a kinfe?
Anacondas are known lovers of quality music so just start singing pretty much any tune released in the last decade or so.
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Arcteryx
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November 13, 2015, 11:07:26 PM Last edit: November 13, 2015, 11:48:12 PM by Arcteryx |
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And what if you don't have a kinfe?
Anacondas are known lovers of quality music so just start singing pretty much any tune released in the last decade or so. I am guessing you are thinking of a cobra. Anaconda is much too big to be tricked by a snake charmer like those in India on the side of the road
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francism
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November 14, 2015, 01:29:14 AM |
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And what if you don't have a kinfe?
Anacondas are known lovers of quality music so just start singing pretty much any tune released in the last decade or so. I am guessing you are thinking of a cobra. Anaconda is much too big to be tricked by a snake charmer like those in India on the side of the road He thought anaconda and cobra are of the same species, most probably never seen an image of anaconda before.
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galdur (OP)
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November 14, 2015, 03:01:30 AM |
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Any snake that can eat Danny Trejo whole has to be respected, especially when they’re this goddamn huge. It may looks incredibly ropey, with dodgy dialogue, hammy acting and a frankly bizarre turn from Jon Voight, but this is a thoroughly entertaining film, despite starring Jennifer Lopez, Eric Stoltz and Owen Wilson. Why is it so enjoyable? Well, that’s difficult to say, because the plot leaves a lot to be desired – a documentary crew heading for a tribe on the Amazon river become waylaid by a snake poacher on the hunt for a giant green anaconda (spoiler: they find it, death ensues). Whatever the reason, the snakes are awesome, mainly because they’re just giant-ass snakes. http://lifevsfilm.com/2013/10/11/top-10-snakes/
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Foxpup
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November 14, 2015, 03:46:17 AM |
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Everyone should realise that this advice is a well-known joke and should not be taken seriously. It contains several pieces of false information for the purpose of building to the punchline. Anyone who actually follows this advice will be quickly killed. 1. If you are attacked by an anaconda, do not run. The snake is faster than you are.
False. Anacondas are extremely slow, and can easily be evaded by just walking away. They don´t waste time and energy on constricting something that is already still. It´s just another carcass to them.
They do. Constrictors often prey on sleeping animals, and do not want their prey to wake up while being eaten. They are not scavengers, and do not usually eat things they didn't kill themselves.
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galdur (OP)
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November 14, 2015, 03:50:24 AM |
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Everyone should realise that this advice is a well-known joke and should not be taken seriously. It contains several pieces of false information for the purpose of building to the punchline. Anyone who actually follows this advice will be quickly killed. 1. If you are attacked by an anaconda, do not run. The snake is faster than you are.
False. Anacondas are extremely slow, and can easily be evaded by just walking away. They don´t waste time and energy on constricting something that is already still. It´s just another carcass to them.
They do. Constrictors often prey on sleeping animals, and do not want their prey to wake up while being eaten. They are not scavengers, and do not usually eat things they didn't kill themselves. They nudge and examine the prey to check for movement. They don´t just slither up to a sleeping animal and start swallowing it without any ado. I guess evolution has taught them certain carefulness.
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Foxpup
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November 14, 2015, 04:02:40 AM |
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They nudge and examine the prey to check for movement. They don´t just slither up to a sleeping animal and start swallowing it without any ado. I guess evolution has taught them certain carefulness.
More carefulness than you think. They examine their prey by constricting it until it stops moving. They are sensitive enough to feel the prey's heartbeat, and will not be fooled by a person playing dead.
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galdur (OP)
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November 14, 2015, 04:09:45 AM |
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They nudge and examine the prey to check for movement. They don´t just slither up to a sleeping animal and start swallowing it without any ado. I guess evolution has taught them certain carefulness.
More carefulness than you think. They examine their prey by constricting it until it stops moving. They are sensitive enough to feel the prey's heartbeat, and will not be fooled by a person playing dead. Well, I don´t know about that. Predators don´t usually spend more energy than necessary. There´s always the balance between energy in and energy out.
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Foxpup
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November 14, 2015, 04:33:51 AM |
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Well, I don´t know about that. Predators don´t usually spend more energy than necessary. There´s always the balance between energy in and energy out.
Well, I do know about that. I am from Australia, after all. It is indeed necessary for an anaconda to constrict its prey to death before eating it, since anacondas are slow and have no options if the prey decides to get up and walk away. They will not attempt to swallow something alive, and they can tell. Playing dead doesn't work on snakes.
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galdur (OP)
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November 14, 2015, 04:39:29 AM |
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Well, I don´t know about that. Predators don´t usually spend more energy than necessary. There´s always the balance between energy in and energy out.
Well, I do know about that. I am from Australia, after all. It is indeed necessary for an anaconda to constrict its prey to death before eating it, since anacondas are slow and have no options if the prey decides to get up and walk away. They will not attempt to swallow something alive, and they can tell. Playing dead doesn't work on snakes. So, what kind of anacondas do you have in Australia? I guess they´ve adapted to deserts. Do they carry the young around in pouches?
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November 14, 2015, 05:20:45 AM |
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So, what kind of anacondas do you have in Australia? I guess they´ve adapted to deserts. Do they carry the young around in pouches?
Very funny. Australia is unique in that it has more venomous snakes than non-venomous ones. You won't find anything so harmless as an anaconda here (or any other boa constrictor, for that matter). But Australians do know about snakes in general. We wouldn't live long if we didn't.
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galdur (OP)
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November 14, 2015, 05:31:11 AM |
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So, what kind of anacondas do you have in Australia? I guess they´ve adapted to deserts. Do they carry the young around in pouches?
Very funny. Australia is unique in that it has more venomous snakes than non-venomous ones. You won't find anything so harmless as an anaconda here (or any other boa constrictor, for that matter). But Australians do know about snakes in general. We wouldn't live long if we didn't. Wouldn´t live long? Venomous snakes have normally no reason to attack prey as big as man, they simply don´t perceive it as food but they´ll try to defend themselves of course. Yeah, I guess you live long if you do your best to avoid them.
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james.lent
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November 14, 2015, 10:58:44 AM |
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We had a tour two years ago to the Amazon. The guide's instructions when you see an anaconda or a crocodile were to slowly back up. Any sudden movements will prompt them to attack so yeah, playing dead would definitely not work unless you decide to become their shish kebab. If you have the speed of Usain Bolt then i think running the other way would be a good idea too.
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erikalui
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November 14, 2015, 11:05:20 AM |
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And what if you don't have a kinfe?
A ki-nife? I think I have heard of one of these before. It is combination of a knife and a kite. Right? It would definitely be useful against an anaconda if your trapped in one. I wouldn't have both kinfe and knife. Your bad luck and the Anaconda's too as it won't happen. We may see you trapped instead
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PrikiNo.1
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November 14, 2015, 11:28:56 AM |
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6. After the snake has examined you, it will begin to swallow you from the feet
and - always from the end. Permit the snake to swallow your feet and ankles.
Do not panicDude, are you crazy? If she start to swallow me, the I am 100% sure that I will panic and in a few seconds I will be dead! Plus, I hate reptiles and the moment I will see the anaconda I am sure that I will start to run... I hope that she will be not ready to run with a speed of sound if she want to catch me!
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Eric Cartman
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November 14, 2015, 11:59:28 AM |
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Or just 1 step:
carry a machine gun if you think you may encounter an anaconta, and go Rambo if you think one wanna eat you
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james.lent
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November 14, 2015, 01:22:15 PM |
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drop the beat
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cr7
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November 14, 2015, 04:46:00 PM |
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Unlikely, they only eat once a month or so and there are plenty of other preys around that are more edible
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XERES
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November 14, 2015, 09:05:52 PM |
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Great idea but what to do when it tries to inject venom on the legs before swallowing? anacondas strangle and swallow i believe
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truckerJoe
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your people
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November 14, 2015, 09:58:51 PM |
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id become j lo shes so ugly and stinky an anaconda even spit her and died so that!
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its not a matter of if its a matter of when
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Blue_Tiger
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November 14, 2015, 11:00:36 PM |
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Wow. Nice survival plan mate.
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galdur (OP)
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November 14, 2015, 11:04:39 PM |
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Wow. Nice survival plan mate.
I´m afraid they´re right. It´s just some internet bullshit. Those bigass snakes are mighty cool though.
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TTMNewsMJ
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November 15, 2015, 10:28:28 AM |
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Whenever you go in a place where anacondas live, just always bring a gun, so if they going to attack you, just shot them til they died.
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bitcoinboy12
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November 15, 2015, 02:37:43 PM |
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How about if the anaconda is too big than you? you still flat?
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galdur (OP)
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November 15, 2015, 04:00:42 PM Last edit: November 15, 2015, 04:22:19 PM by galdur |
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Whenever you go in a place where anacondas live, just always bring a gun, so if they going to attack you, just shot them til they died.
I doubt that they attack many people mainly because most people have no reason to hang around where anacondas live. Also, they assess potential prey visually, can it or can it not be safely swallowed. It isn´t risk free for the snake, once it start swallowing there may be no way back, legs, horns etc on the prey. They don´t just attack anything that moves. A standing human adult would probably look like an unusual prey to a crawling anaconda and certainly rather big. I´m not sure they´d be very interested. What they´re interested in is things they are familiar with and have hunted successfully forever. I doubt that humans are high on that list.
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Flash1997
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November 15, 2015, 04:06:18 PM |
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I hope i will not be attacked by an anaconda , cuz i don't have a knife
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