What to do if you're crazy about a girl that has a boyfriend?

[BrightAnarchist]

Wow, all such great advice: fold, kill the guy, or kill the girl.

I'm thinking the best approach is to treat it like a background thread... drop some hints and monitor the situation, but generally speaking try not to bet on it and so keep on the lookout for something new.

It's easier said than done though... this one's a keeper. Dammit, this sucks monkey f*ck.

how much are you worth? as an an-cap my initial inclination is to say buy him out. If you are poor than fix that problem first then buy him out. If he cant be bought than perhaps you should consider being happy that the girl you love seems to have a really damn decent guy.

A lot depends on what life phase you are in. So how old are you? And how old is the girl?
What is the setting: is she a peer at the workplace? A girl from the uni campus? A high-school sweetheart?
What do we know about the current boyfriend? Is he a macho bad guy, a rocker, or a well tailored and rich businessman?

I'm 28, she's 31. The BF doesn't seem that macho, and certainly not wealthy. I'm pretty sure I have significantly more cash than this guy, probably by at least a factor of 10. She's a girl at work.

I feel petty comparing myself in this way though, as he seems to be a nice guy, but these are still the facts.

[Anon136]

Wow, all such great advice: fold, kill the guy, or kill the girl.

I'm thinking the best approach is to treat it like a background thread... drop some hints and monitor the situation, but generally speaking try not to bet on it and so keep on the lookout for something new.

It's easier said than done though... this one's a keeper. Dammit, this sucks monkey f*ck.

how much are you worth? as an an-cap my initial inclination is to say buy him out. If you are poor than fix that problem first then buy him out. If he cant be bought than perhaps you should consider being happy that the girl you love seems to have a really damn decent guy.

A lot depends on what life phase you are in. So how old are you? And how old is the girl?
What is the setting: is she a peer at the workplace? A girl from the uni campus? A high-school sweetheart?
What do we know about the current boyfriend? Is he a macho bad guy, a rocker, or a well tailored and rich businessman?

I'm 28, she's 31. The BF doesn't seem that macho, and certainly not wealthy. I'm pretty sure I have significantly more cash than this guy, probably by at least a factor of 10. She's a girl at work.

I feel petty comparing myself in this way though, as he seems to be a nice guy, but these are still the facts.

you:"hey bub here's 10 thousand dollars now get lost" him:"hell yea" girl:"you payed 10,000 dollars just for me? my hero!"

[Dunster]

Be bright and go for a younger girl. You should be looking at 21 and 22 year old girls based on your age. When your 40 and she's 43 you'll be scouting out younger ones anyway. However if you are 40 and see is 33, your girl will still be hot. With today's social networks you should be able to find another. Also check out the girls mother to see how should could turn out. Don't get too fixated on one girl its not healthy.

[vampire]

Be bright and go for a younger girl. You should be looking at 21 and 22 year old girls based on your age. When your 40 and she's 43 you'll be scouting out younger ones anyway. However if you are 40 and see is 33, your girl will still be hot. With today's social networks you should be able to find another. Also check out the girls mother to see how should could turn out. Don't get too fixated on one girl its not healthy.

21/22 are in colleges... He should be shooting for 23-25, also different girls age differently.

Though at 31 girl tend to want to settle, so the question is if this girl picked a "husband". She may not be in-love with the guy.

[John (John K.)]

Be bright and go for a younger girl. You should be looking at 21 and 22 year old girls based on your age. When your 40 and she's 43 you'll be scouting out younger ones anyway. However if you are 40 and see is 33, your girl will still be hot. With today's social networks you should be able to find another. Also check out the girls mother to see how should could turn out. Don't get too fixated on one girl its not healthy.

Words of wisdom. 

[vampire]

Words of wisdom. 

ROFL. I guess I am lucky I am 5 years older than my gf and her mom looks great at 50.

[BrightAnarchist]

Be bright and go for a younger girl. You should be looking at 21 and 22 year old girls based on your age. When your 40 and she's 43 you'll be scouting out younger ones anyway. However if you are 40 and see is 33, your girl will still be hot. With today's social networks you should be able to find another. Also check out the girls mother to see how should could turn out. Don't get too fixated on one girl its not healthy.

21/22 are in colleges... He should be shooting for 23-25, also different girls age differently.

Though at 31 girl tend to want to settle, so the question is if this girl picked a "husband". She may not be in-love with the guy.

"Picked a husband"... F*ck that's what I'm scared of! I hope not

[BrightAnarchist]

Don't get too fixated on one girl its not healthy.

Yeah, yeah, I know...

[SysRun]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0B6MUOgXMA

[Anon136]

Don't get too fixated on one girl its not healthy.

Yeah, yeah, I know...

sorry to rock the boat but i think thats bull shit. It took me 16 years to find 1 girl that wasnt a toxic piece of shit. There are NOT plenty of fish in the sea.

[John (John K.)]

Be bright and go for a younger girl. You should be looking at 21 and 22 year old girls based on your age. When your 40 and she's 43 you'll be scouting out younger ones anyway. However if you are 40 and see is 33, your girl will still be hot. With today's social networks you should be able to find another. Also check out the girls mother to see how should could turn out. Don't get too fixated on one girl its not healthy.

21/22 are in colleges... He should be shooting for 23-25, also different girls age differently.

Though at 31 girl tend to want to settle, so the question is if this girl picked a "husband". She may not be in-love with the guy.

"Picked a husband"... F*ck that's what I'm scared of! I hope not

You could see hints of this happening.  This phase usually occurs when he's taken to her mom's place a lot, and if they live together already. The extreme phase comes when they go out to shop groceries together. That's the husband phase.   Maybe stalk around for a bit?

[BrightAnarchist]

Don't get too fixated on one girl its not healthy.

Yeah, yeah, I know...

sorry to rock the boat but i think thats bull shit. It took me 16 years to find 1 girl that wasnt a toxic piece of shit. There are NOT plenty of fish in the sea.

This has been my experience too

[gweedo]

Don't get too fixated on one girl its not healthy.

Yeah, yeah, I know...

sorry to rock the boat but i think thats bull shit. It took me 16 years to find 1 girl that wasnt a toxic piece of shit. There are NOT plenty of fish in the sea.

What you mean a "toxic piece of shit"?

[BrightAnarchist]

Don't get too fixated on one girl its not healthy.

Yeah, yeah, I know...

sorry to rock the boat but i think thats bull shit. It took me 16 years to find 1 girl that wasnt a toxic piece of shit. There are NOT plenty of fish in the sea.

What you mean a "toxic piece of shit"?

I think he means exactly what he says

[Lethn]

Don't get too fixated on one girl its not healthy.

Yeah, yeah, I know...

sorry to rock the boat but i think thats bull shit. It took me 16 years to find 1 girl that wasnt a toxic piece of shit. There are NOT plenty of fish in the sea.

What you mean a "toxic piece of shit"?

I think he means exactly what he says

I'm sort of in that place right now, having a hard time finding the non-toxic girls, by that he means they're absolutely psychotic, if a girl has had multiple boyfriends within a year then it's for a reason.

[sd]

sorry to rock the boat but i think thats bull shit. It took me 16 years to find 1 girl that wasnt a toxic piece of shit. There are NOT plenty of fish in the sea.

There are plenty. The problem is finding one who is crazy in a way you can live with. There are not so many of those.

[Dunster]

Also remember that "love" is a chemical process in our brain. If you can pull your higher level thoughts above the "primitive" programs running in your brain it will give you more power over your emotions. I recommend this video to learn a bit more about what is happening in your brain:

http://www.ted.com/talks/helen_fisher_studies_the_brain_in_love.html

Enjoy the punt down the river of life. Being a punter is great. There are many great chicks out there you just need to learn to charm them. Go for the whole package not just the beauty. Beautiful girls can often be controllers because they have tremendous power in our society.

This is a good song but probably doesn't have to taken to the extreme suggested in the song:
http://www.guntheranderson.com/v/data/ifyouwan.htm

If you enjoyed the advice, I will happily accept BTC 0.01 to this address. ;-)

1MTs6spVYuN7joaXVHxgaB5arVqeAixw3d

ANY payment that I receive would be a milestone for me as it would represent my first BTC transaction for "consulting".

[Inaba]

What kind of namby pamby crap are some of you feeding this guy?  If you're an alpha male, show her and she'll come around... if you're not, then sulk back to your den and whimper about how unfair life is.  Although, the fact that you're posting here asking for advice is probably indicative of which direction that's going to end up.  

Just ask: WWFD

I kid, I kid... or do I?

[Dunster]

What kind of namby pamby crap are some of you feeding this guy?  

One man's "namby pamby" is another man's information. 

[gweedo]

If you're an alpha male, show her and she'll come around...

This is so false, maybe in caveman days this is how it worked not today. I am not an alpha male yet I can pull some hots girl. Girls want three things, they want a person that will care for them, surprise them and someone who is funny.