remotemass (OP)
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Activity: 1117
Merit: 1016
ASMR El Salvador
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January 10, 2013, 07:08:24 AM |
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I'll keep adding new ones. Hope you find these amusing  http://bitcoinjokes.vacau.com |
{ Imagine a sequence of bits generated from the first decimal place of the square roots of whole integers that are irrational numbers. If the decimal falls between 0 and 5, it's considered bit 0, and if it falls between 5 and 10, it's considered bit 1. This sequence from a simple integer count of contiguous irrationals and their logical decimal expansion of the first decimal place is called the 'main irrational stream.' Our goal is to design a physical and optical computing system system that can detect when this stream starts matching a specific pattern of a given size of bits. bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=166760.0 } Satoshi did use a friend class in C++ and put a comment on the code saying: "This is why people hate C++".
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Transactions must be included in a block to be properly completed. When you send a transaction, it is broadcast to miners. Miners can then optionally include it in their next blocks. Miners will be more inclined to include your transaction if it has a higher transaction fee.
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herzmeister
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Activity: 1764
Merit: 1007
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January 10, 2013, 12:20:26 PM |
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so far, it seems to be a nice collection of anti-jokes  |
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julz
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Activity: 1092
Merit: 1001
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January 10, 2013, 02:23:48 PM |
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What's the best way to extract Bitcoins from people?
a) rubber-hose cryptanalysis
b) any unspecified investment offering 7% weekly interest or more
c) prepayments for a mining rig with hashrates over 9000 (may be made of cardboard)
Answer: They're all reasonable methods - b) and c) may be slightly less effective due to some people actually reading and even understanding the Bitcoin forums - and rubber-hose cryptanalysis has the disadvantage that up until now, it hasn't worked over the internet.
But wait!
We've solved the remote-wacking problem with our brilliant new BFH9000 (Big F!@#n Hose 9000) personal mining rig which actually mines coins straight out of your chosen victim's brainwallet! This amazing technology sucks so hard* on the interweb tubes that it repeatedly whacks your target with their own ethernet cables until they blurt out their private keys which are then recorded and sent directly to your rig. Don't delay! preorder your position in the waiting list now by sending just 100 Bitcoins to the following address:
19gnq3qQyjxRvmnVzi4SCM7pAv666C8cao
We're also taking investments so we can ramp up production of the BFH9000 units.. and will be paying 10% weekly interest!
Just send 1337 BTC to our address, and make sure to list your return address. That's right - we'll pay 10% interest per week to "that" address! Great deal!? You Bet!!
You know we'll pay the interest - because if we didn't - you'd all turn your BFH9000 units on us and force us to. That just proves what top guys we are and what a foolproven investment this is!
* technology guaranteed to be as described.
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@electricwings BM-GtyD5exuDJ2kvEbr41XchkC8x9hPxdFd
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Akka
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Activity: 1232
Merit: 1001
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January 10, 2013, 02:57:53 PM |
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We've solved the remote-wacking problem with our brilliant new BFH9000 (Big F!@#n Hose 9000) personal mining rig which actually mines coins straight out of your chosen victim's brainwallet! This amazing technology sucks so hard* on the interweb tubes that it repeatedly whacks your target with their own ethernet cables until they blurt out their private keys which are then recorded and sent directly to your rig. Don't delay! preorder your position in the waiting list now by sending just 100 Bitcoins to the following address:
19gnq3qQyjxRvmnVzi4SCM7pAv666C8cao
We're also taking investments so we can ramp up production of the BFH9000 units.. and will be paying 10% weekly interest!
Just send 1337 BTC to our address, and make sure to list your return address. That's right - we'll pay 10% interest per week to "that" address! Great deal!? You Bet!!
You know we'll pay the interest - because if we didn't - you'd all turn your BFH9000 units on us and force us to. That just proves what top guys we are and what a foolproven investment this is!
* technology guaranteed to be as described.
The perfect Bitcoin Product. I hope is also annoyingly loud and heats you entire apartment up. |
All previous versions of currency will no longer be supported as of this update
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adamstgBit
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Activity: 1904
Merit: 1037
Trusted Bitcoiner
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January 10, 2013, 11:19:58 PM |
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your momma is so stupid, she sold her bitcoin, to buy a bitcoin T-shirt.  |
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bbit
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Activity: 1330
Merit: 1000
Bitcoin
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January 10, 2013, 11:29:14 PM |
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your momma is so stupid, she sold her bitcoin, to buy a bitcoin T-shirt. haha this ^^ ! |
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julz
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Activity: 1092
Merit: 1001
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January 11, 2013, 12:34:11 AM
Last edit: January 15, 2013, 01:31:53 AM by julz |
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Did you hear the one about the stripper who tried working for Bitcoins?
She kept showing her privates and her horde went down on her every night.
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@electricwings BM-GtyD5exuDJ2kvEbr41XchkC8x9hPxdFd
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julz
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Activity: 1092
Merit: 1001
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January 11, 2013, 01:27:57 AM |
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Did you hear about the stoner who got into Bitcoin mining?
He was doing blocks of hash while hashing blocks, and blew what he mined on blowing his mind.
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@electricwings BM-GtyD5exuDJ2kvEbr41XchkC8x9hPxdFd
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julz
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Activity: 1092
Merit: 1001
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January 11, 2013, 01:28:40 AM |
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How many Bitcoin miners does it take to change a light bulb?
All of them: but only one locks it in place and the others approve of the result even though they made it difficult.
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@electricwings BM-GtyD5exuDJ2kvEbr41XchkC8x9hPxdFd
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julz
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Activity: 1092
Merit: 1001
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January 15, 2013, 12:43:52 AM |
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Thanks to whoever sent the 5 *thousand* satoshi 'investment' The transaction is curious.. http://blockchain.info/tx-index/42852608/8e1ee8f326c9514bb8231c3c09dc4dae6d5c52e02592f914805803119e9d1bc2Oodles of tiny payments from 18SaGKDdzect9FqTEQ3k3Rgcj4gggwD34E in the one transaction. ..most of them well under 0.001 BTC What is this? Some sort of automatic Bitcoin faucet that spreads the love around to addresses it scrapes off the net? |
@electricwings BM-GtyD5exuDJ2kvEbr41XchkC8x9hPxdFd
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Spaceman_Spiff
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Activity: 1638
Merit: 1001
₪``Campaign Manager´´₪
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January 15, 2013, 01:24:16 AM |
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Did you hear about the stoner who got into Bitcoin mining?
He was doing blocks of hash while hashing blocks, and blew what he mined on blowing his mind.
I find that one pretty clever actually. I wasn't rofl-ing, but it is nifty |
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Elwar
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Activity: 3598
Merit: 2386
Viva Ut Vivas
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January 15, 2013, 08:51:41 AM |
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1: Knock Knock
2: Who's there?
1: CP
2: CP who?
1: You'll never be able to mine Bitcoins that way!
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First seastead company actually selling sea homes: Ocean Builders https://ocean.builders Of course we accept bitcoin. |
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thefiniteidea
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January 16, 2013, 04:25:17 AM |
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So a new thread over at the Bitcoin Foundation has requested entries for an updated weusecoins-type video... naturally, I spent the last few hours on goanimate creating my masterpiece: Bitcoin: A Love Story  |
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