Anybody any tips on meeting women? I'm turning 45 this winter, have no social life and haven't touched a woman in...well, a long time.
I usually don't get into off-topic, but this is relevant to investing in a not-too-roundabout way. It's very hard to make good investment decisions if you're sexually frustrated, or if you're relying on getting rich as the way to solve this area of your life.
First, most obvious thing: stop spending time online (no computer except maybe dating sites, no phone except for setting up in-person meets). Never be home. NEVER. BE. HOME. Home is for sleep, breakfast, and sex. Everything else is out there. Stop doing every anti-social/unsocial thing you're doing and start doing social things where you actually interact with people face to face. Doesn't matter what it is or who it is, because for the first few weeks practice is your only goal.
And for those times that you must be online, because you're addicted to content, watching TV/movies is way better than reading things. Couchtuner has most of the good shows. Comedies like Wilfred and visceral shows like Vikings will at least put you in a decent semi-social mindset before you go out. Better yet, take a laptop or smartphone to a coffee shop and watch there. Of course you'll have to graduate from that, but start small if you have to.
You can read pickup books if you want to, as they may provide inspiration on what's possible and open your mind, but beware that a most of them focus on the wrong things (gimmicks, getting numbers) rather than correcting the basic errors most guys end up with from years of indoctrination: scarcity mindset, putting her on a pedestal, taking yourself too seriously, etc. If you want to see material of this nature, as far as I'm aware of, you have to go back 15 years to the Usenet newsgroup alt.seduction.fast circa 1999-2001, which I don't even know how to browse now. Anyway, if you look hard and you need it, you can find it. Even there you have to carefully sort the wheat from the chaff, of course, but there is a lot less harmful advice. Re: The Game (Neil Strauss), it's definitely not the right mindset overall but in with the silliness there are some gems so if you've never done well in your life it can help. I'd look elsewhere first.
Now, nuts and bolts: Never turn down a request to hang out with someone, go to every gathering, party, etc. Find groups that share your interests, hiking clubs, tennis circles, Bitcoin meetups... no matter what it is, it's definitely going to be better than whatever you're doing that led to no social life and not touching a woman in a long time. And do it all, every day have multiple things in your schedule, even better would be to get a part-time job that requires social contact, like being a waiter. Look up every event, festival, concert, etc. in your area, put them in your scheduler and go to as many as you can. Anything to force you out of the house and to interact with people, or at least just be around people as a start.
Alcohol is called a social lubricant for a reason. If you don't drink and have no history of problems with alcohol, I invite you to start - but only in social settings! Drink a decent amount three times a week, at a bar or other such place, never to excess but just enough to get a solid social buzz. (To do this comfortably might require eating better and exercising more, which is a great idea anyway, and you'll need to drink a lot more water.) This alone can work wonders. If, as your name suggests, you prefer other substances, force yourself to only do them with other people. Once you're drinking, it will be way easier to talk to people and make friends. In fact, "drink until girls start returning eye contact" and "drink until you strike up conversations without even noticing" are good guidelines to ensure you're drinking enough (feeling sick, uncoordinated, sloppy, etc. are of course signs you drank too much). At first it might be that you get sloppy drunk and still aren't able to overcome social anxiety, but don't worry; just like in investing, "the trend is your friend" and you're moving in the right direction even if it might take a few weeks to see results. You have to see the upside even when it feels like nothing good is coming, knowing you're doing things that will change your results despite any short term inertia and noise. In other words, you have to HODL through it.
Just keep drinking 3x per week outside the house, keep exercising, keep going out, never be home, never do anything unsocial, never use the computer, never refuse an invitation, fill your schedule with meets any way you can, never dwell on negative thoughts, never analyze, just get out there for a few weeks and it will start to happen naturally. Input creates output; whatever you're doing every day is creating a certain mindset in you that creates a social output that is not working. Hanging out on the Internet and whatever else is pushing you down socially. Take that giant millstone off your neck and start doing all the things that you know push you up socially, and it won't be long before things turn around, assuming you've ever had any success before.
Once you feel up to it, you can do more deliberate things. One easy progression when you're out on the street, at a mall, etc. is to simply lock eye contact with every person you pass. Once you can do that, eye contact and smile. Then graduate to a "Hi!" if you want. That alone will put you in a much more social state.
Then as far as women specifically, you'll want to either go to bars/clubs/etc. or rely on connections, or use the Internet, or do cold/buzzed approaches, or better yet kitchen sink it. Do it all, and do it all at once. If you have specific problems after several weeks, PM me.
Those are real great suggestions for anyone.. and some of the ideas could be tweaked to the extent that a person may feel a need to mix up his/her situation and already getting some decent result or is already employing some socializing activities... ...
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