Life with a Gambler - Solution!

[sirenmoon]

Although it seems to you that there are no solutions, I assure you that your answer is within your reach. The answer to the question of what you should do cannot be given to you by your friends, families or even experts, but only by yourself.

What I can tell you is that you can not influence the will of your loved one to solve the problem if he/her ever thinks he has it. The behavior of the loved one can certainly indicate that he/her is a gambling-dependent person. Gambling addiction is sometimes referred to as - "hidden disease" because there are no obvious physical signs or symptoms such as drug dependence or alcohol dependence. Compulsive gamblers usually deny or alleviate the problem, and they do everything that is in their power to hide their problem.

The gambling addiction is the type of impulse control disorders and because of that, the compulsive gamblers cannot control gambling impulse, even when they know how bad and harmful they are. The gambling problem can burden relationships, hinder responsibility at home and at work, and lead to a financial disaster. Although gambling addiction can be cured, every treatment is the key readiness of a person to admit to having a problem and wanting help.

In most cases, the relationship is burdened to such an extent that it also affects the health of the non-gambler in a relationship, and ultimately determines the further course of life that does not go in the desired direction. Blackmailing the loved one to terminate the addiction will not lead to the desired effect, nor the "forced" treatment will. If a loved one is not aware of at the moment that he/her has a problem that needs to be resolved, none of the above solutions will result in improvement.

It is important that you realize what you want and how well you are willing to neglect your own needs, wishes and priorities until your loved one feels he/her has a problem.

I suggest an honest conversation with the loved one, without condemnation and blackmail, which will show you in what way is he/her looking at his/her own problem, and then comes your decision about the further course of the relationship: the willingness to fight with the uncertain end, or the decision to continue your life course in the other direction.



To all of you with the same problem, I wish a lot of luck and courage!



My questions are:

Do you have the same problem at home?

If you have this particular problem are you trying to solve it?

If you have solved it, can you share your "personal fight" flow and outcome here?

Thank you!

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[Juggy777]

I don't think gambling should be called a addiction it's not something bad or horrible as it's always is portrayed. Not all our alike, not even our fingers are the same size, each one finds a different passion which keeps him sane so I would call it a passion, i believe each person is sane enough to decide for himself, and so I feel each one can make his own choice without being subject to humiliation.

[Don Pedro Dinero]

I haven’t got that problem at home but an acquaintance I know used to spend too much in slot machines and the solution was self-will and leaving all kind of gambling forever, the same way for an alcoholic the solution relies on self-will and not drinking a drop more for the rest of their lives. Just one drop leads to the same old self-destructive pattern, the same way as just one bet.

I don’t agree with it being called a “hidden disease”. There might not be physical signs or symptoms but someone with a real problem spends too much and that’s clear symptom of a behavioral problem and they cannot hide it for long.

[Oilacris]

I haven’t got that problem at home but an acquaintance I know used to spend too much in slot machines and the solution was self-will and leaving all kind of gambling forever, the same way for an alcoholic the solution relies on self-will and not drinking a drop more for the rest of their lives. Just one drop leads to the same old self-destructive pattern, the same way as just one bet.

I don’t agree with it being called a “hidden disease”. There might not be physical signs or symptoms but someone with a real problem spends too much and that’s clear symptom of a behavioral problem and they cannot hide it for long.

Self will would always matter on here.If you do mean to quit then quit and avoid at all cost any other related things connected to gambling or any addictions in life like alcohol or any related addiction things which do mostly destroy our lives if we decide to engage too much on it. Its not surprising that gambling do always been portrayed to be like that which i do agree on the thing said above. Each one of us do have different kind of handling on any things, some would really be sensible into his actions and some are just carelessly enough.

[SyGambler]

we keep seeing topics coming about the negative side in gambling , it's a fact that there are really few percentage that are addicted to gambling but the majority are fun seekers and professionals

I don't see someone coming with topics like getting addicted to video games , or getting addicted to watching movies

I have seen many people who ruined their selves with different types of addictions , but never seen a person who was affected from gambling

the problem does exist , but it's really rare and I guess the majority know the risk and also know the reward

to be honest living in Syria I realized that gambling is the minimum risk that the human being can take

[artmaker]

I don't think gambling should be called a addiction it's not something bad or horrible as it's always is portrayed. Not all our alike, not even our fingers are the same size, each one finds a different passion which keeps him sane so I would call it a passion, i believe each person is sane enough to decide for himself, and so I feel each one can make his own choice without being subject to humiliation.

It's call adiction when someone can't stop gambling and its bad or horrible when that someone lose control and ruin his/her life because of it.

[btc_angela]

~snip~

Do you have the same problem at home?

If you have this particular problem are you trying to solve it?

If you have solved it, can you share your "personal fight" flow and outcome here?

Thank you!

No, I don't have the same problem at home. I would categorized myself as not a addicted gambler because I can control when I'm going to play and how much money I wanted to spend(lost). I guess their is no secret it fighting gambling addiction. Just learn how to control your emotions, and try to make your mind think of other things like having a hobby or something or probably really connect ot your family and friends will make this addiction go away.

[sweetbet]

My partner was a gambling addict for many years, and I put up with it as much as I could for many years. We had talks about it. We had fights about it. Sometimes we went for weeks without speaking to each other. Many times after promising to quit, she'd quietly go back there and lose more money. The children would stay up until late into the night waiting for their mother to come home. Where's mommy? They'd wake up tired for school the next day. One night after she came home, something inside me snapped. I had enough!! I told her to get the F out of my house and to take all her crap with her. I told her that I'm going to divorce her and take the house and the kids. I told her that I have copies of all her bank statements showing how much money she's been squandering at casinos and that no judge in his right mind would give a gambling addict custody of the children, besides she was always broke. I was seeing red and I was fully prepared for the ugliest divorce and custody fight ever. Do you know what happened after that night? She quit gambling. It's been 6 months or so since that night, and I have to say thanks be to God for answering my prayers and bringing this whole ugly problem to an end. I've never been that angry with her before, and I guess that is what she needed to see before she quit. I showed her the brick wall that she was heading for and she slammed on the brakes.

[semobo]

we keep seeing topics coming about the negative side in gambling , it's a fact that there are really few percentage that are addicted to gambling but the majority are fun seekers and professionals

I don't see someone coming with topics like getting addicted to video games , or getting addicted to watching movies

I have seen many people who ruined their selves with different types of addictions , but never seen a person who was affected from gambling

the problem does exist , but it's really rare and I guess the majority know the risk and also know the reward

to be honest living in Syria I realized that gambling is the minimum risk that the human being can take

Yes only few people were seriously addicted to the gambling and then most of them can tackle it even if they were addicted to it with their daily life.
Gambling has lot of positivity too but in most of the world it was just portrayed as bad thing to do,like a sin and sometime even like illegal activities that is why many people afraid to be a gambler even if they wanted to be.

[eternalgloom]

My partner was a gambling addict for many years, and I put up with it as much as I could for many years. We had talks about it. We had fights about it. Sometimes we went for weeks without speaking to each other. Many times after promising to quit, she'd quietly go back there and lose more money. The children would stay up until late into the night waiting for their mother to come home. Where's mommy? They'd wake up tired for school the next day. One night after she came home, something inside me snapped. I had enough!! I told her to get the F out of my house and to take all her crap with her. I told her that I'm going to divorce her and take the house and the kids. I told her that I have copies of all her bank statements showing how much money she's been squandering at casinos and that no judge in his right mind would give a gambling addict custody of the children, besides she was always broke. I was seeing red and I was fully prepared for the ugliest divorce and custody fight ever. Do you know what happened after that night? She quit gambling. It's been 6 months or so since that night, and I have to say thanks be to God for answering my prayers and bringing this whole ugly problem to an end. I've never been that angry with her before, and I guess that is what she needed to see before she quit. I showed her the brick wall that she was heading for and she slammed on the brakes.

That is a pretty amazing story, I mean the part where you mentioned that she eventually quite after that one night.
6 months of no gambling is pretty long for an addict, I hope she doesn't re-lapse. What would you do if she does?

Also be very careful that she doesn't do it behind your back. I've read stories of gambling addicts taking out credit cards in their spouse's name.

[Indamuck]

From my experiences gamblers tend to be the most fun people to hang out with.  They are ready to let loose and aren't acting like some party pooper.  Your attitude can bring on positive outcomes in gambling as crazy as it sounds, I believe in things like law of attraction.

[orions.belt19]

I don't think gambling should be called a addiction it's not something bad or horrible as it's always is portrayed. Not all our alike, not even our fingers are the same size, each one finds a different passion which keeps him sane so I would call it a passion, i believe each person is sane enough to decide for himself, and so I feel each one can make his own choice without being subject to humiliation.

How can you say that gambling is not an addiction? It may be a case to case basis since not everyone behaves the same but it can be definitely classified as an addiction. The situation of others are really worse because there are those who cannot control themselves and has made bad decisions. There are some who don’t even sleep or eat if they don’t gamble. Addiction makes people go to a point where they literally lose everything, even their own houses. It’s humiliating yet those who are addicted can’t control themselves to prevent such humiliation.

[Tigorss]

actually i always take risk in gambling here in crypto and in real life but i'm not addict or whatever you post about gambling OP for me better to understand that we play for past time with so fun then for knowledge and experience although this is very risky another thing we can bet here in affordable for us so that's the solution i think also that you need to remember that if your here in crypto knowledge is the key to earn so always try different kinds of way to learn then use that as your weapon for your future here in crypto

if you really are a gambler and earn a living for your life from gambling if it is true there should be no problem whatsoever if conditions should be like that.

[solarion]

actually i always take risk in gambling here in crypto and in real life but i'm not addict or whatever you post about gambling OP for me better to understand that we play for past time with so fun then for knowledge and experience although this is very risky another thing we can bet here in affordable for us so that's the solution i think also that you need to remember that if your here in crypto knowledge is the key to earn so always try different kinds of way to learn then use that as your weapon for your future here in crypto

if you really are a gambler and earn a living for your life from gambling if it is true there should be no problem whatsoever if conditions should be like that.

How the gambler can be live in the without faciing any loosing in the money mate. Please review about gambler life style first then you can understand that gambler will be finally without any money in their hand mate.

Then most of the time people loosing the fund on using dice, slot roll and poker games.
These all games will be finally take you loose all your money only bro.

[detector]

IMO, environment and religion really affect on gambler's mental recovery.

Gambler is a smart guy but sometimes they are greed and do not want think twice about the risk because for some reason, example : usually economy reason

[Hamphser]

we keep seeing topics coming about the negative side in gambling , it's a fact that there are really few percentage that are addicted to gambling but the majority are fun seekers and professionals

I don't see someone coming with topics like getting addicted to video games , or getting addicted to watching movies

I have seen many people who ruined their selves with different types of addictions , but never seen a person who was affected from gambling

the problem does exist , but it's really rare and I guess the majority know the risk and also know the reward

to be honest living in Syria I realized that gambling is the minimum risk that the human being can take

Normal we would see those negative stories about gambling yet we are on a gambling discussion board and talking about other addictions wont really be that much relevant. Majority are just fun and thrill seekers but i do still believe that high percentage or lets say 30% are considered addicted where it do already come to a point that they are already wrecking their own lives. Solution? We should be sensible on actions we do made specially when we do gamble.

[JL421]

I had a gambling addiction problem before but as you stated i start realizing that the money I'm losing is something which might help me in future, it will support me if i have a financial failure, so what i did was stopped logging in on the gambling site and stopped seeing other players profit, instead i started investing on different sites bankroll and started making profits

[sweetbet]

My partner was a gambling addict for many years, and I put up with it as much as I could for many years. We had talks about it. We had fights about it. Sometimes we went for weeks without speaking to each other. Many times after promising to quit, she'd quietly go back there and lose more money. The children would stay up until late into the night waiting for their mother to come home. Where's mommy? They'd wake up tired for school the next day. One night after she came home, something inside me snapped. I had enough!! I told her to get the F out of my house and to take all her crap with her. I told her that I'm going to divorce her and take the house and the kids. I told her that I have copies of all her bank statements showing how much money she's been squandering at casinos and that no judge in his right mind would give a gambling addict custody of the children, besides she was always broke. I was seeing red and I was fully prepared for the ugliest divorce and custody fight ever. Do you know what happened after that night? She quit gambling. It's been 6 months or so since that night, and I have to say thanks be to God for answering my prayers and bringing this whole ugly problem to an end. I've never been that angry with her before, and I guess that is what she needed to see before she quit. I showed her the brick wall that she was heading for and she slammed on the brakes.

That is a pretty amazing story, I mean the part where you mentioned that she eventually quite after that one night.
6 months of no gambling is pretty long for an addict, I hope she doesn't re-lapse. What would you do if she does?

Also be very careful that she doesn't do it behind your back. I've read stories of gambling addicts taking out credit cards in their spouse's name.

I went to the casino a few times after that night when she was late coming home from work, but I didn't find her there. The children told her that sometimes we drive through the casino car park looking for her car. She asked me why I do that. I told her that I'm keeping an eye on her because she promised me that she had quit many times before. Now she spends just as much money on clothes shopping which she couldn't afford before. I'm not sure what I'll do if she relapses. I'm taking it a step at a time for now.

[Shenzou]

Well honestly i don't think that gambling addiction is that hard to get over, for me i think that people get that into gambling because they have nothing else to do, nothing else to keep them busy from spending money on it, if they have friends and family who encourage them to do activities and keep them busy from doing so than i am sure they won't find the time to gamble and they will lose their desire to do it, at least that is what i did for my friend when he started falling to it.

[Aleister Crowley]

Well honestly i don't think that gambling addiction is that hard to get over, for me i think that people get that into gambling because they have nothing else to do, nothing else to keep them busy from spending money on it, if they have friends and family who encourage them to do activities and keep them busy from doing so than i am sure they won't find the time to gamble and they will lose their desire to do it, at least that is what i did for my friend when he started falling to it.

alright the best way to find activities that can divert us from gambling. and this powerful 80% way can get us out of gambling addiction. because when we are busy it will be very difficult for us to find gambling activity. look for positive activities outside of gambling. although actually gambling can still be considered reasonable as long as the activity does not harm anyone