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Author Topic: Totally Off-Topic!  (Read 98944 times)
deslok
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November 25, 2011, 02:37:17 PM
 #61

Religion is like a penis. It's fine to have one and it's fine to be proud of it, but please don't whip it out in public and start waving it around... and PLEASE don't try to shove it down my child's throat.

If your daughter is raised catholic there's no forcing involved

"If we don't hang together, by Heavens we shall hang separately." - Benjamin Franklin

If you found that funny or something i said useful i always appreciate spare change
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Matthew N. Wright
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November 25, 2011, 02:52:47 PM
 #62

Religion is like a penis. It's fine to have one and it's fine to be proud of it, but please don't whip it out in public and start waving it around... and PLEASE don't try to shove it down my child's throat.

If your daughter is raised catholic there's no forcing involved

Silly deslok. Catholics only like boys.

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November 25, 2011, 03:56:11 PM
 #63

An actual email 'conversation' (edited only names and places):

Quote
Bro.Netrin Blah,Many people died 1300 people by Sunami in Japan.Very sad.I love Japan and China.I will come to dance like Michael Jackson.My brother and sister and John and me danced very well.I live in Paamiut.The address is Xujeillerpatsti D 2103.My telephone number is 123456.John went to work now.I am using his internet explorer.We are best friends in the whole world.I will like to dance but without any partner.So,i don't think i will go to dance anymore.Only if John goes with me to dance.He said he saw you yesterday in Kadishack.I would rather be singing.I am also good in writing.I like singer prince.I also like Leonell Richi.I will go to singing on monday and thursday afternoons.10,000 people are missing in Kyoto.Terrible news.See you sometime in the city.
Banana Bobana

...

Thanks for your reply. John is the best friend.I am sorry for the dead people. I loved Michael Jackson along with so many people.I love his country United States of America and Barak and Michelle Obama too.My parents have many friends from Japan.I have family in Newzeland also.THanks for dance lessons.Best regards for you and Mandy,
Banana from Bananaland.The concert for Bananaland was the best concert in the whole world.I love Norway my Husbands country.I will say thankyou for the music like ,Abba,the Sweedish Group.The salsa music is wonderful.Richard Dean Andersen,Mcgyver is really very good.He never killed anybody in the series Mcgyver.Tago Dance,comes from Argentina.Our friend Franko Gabano and Tilly Cruz comes from Argentina.The Argentinian football team is very popular in Banaland.We are very fond of Maradonna.He is a good football coach.You are a good dance trainer.Give regards to Xavier from France and his wife from Denmark Trine.Our friend Damien is in France now.My sisters' sister in law lives in France.Would you give regards to your parents from me? Bye Bye.God is great.Thanks for giving me star for dancing.
With best regards for you and Mandy Banderbooby,
Mrs.Banana Bubana

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November 25, 2011, 04:34:03 PM
 #64

An actual email 'conversation' (edited only names and places):

Quote
Bro.Netrin Blah,Many people died 1300 people by Sunami in Japan.Very sad.I love Japan and China.I will come to dance like Michael Jackson.My brother and sister and John and me danced very well.I live in Paamiut.The address is Xujeillerpatsti D 2103.My telephone number is 123456.John went to work now.I am using his internet explorer.We are best friends in the whole world.I will like to dance but without any partner.So,i don't think i will go to dance anymore.Only if John goes with me to dance.He said he saw you yesterday in Kadishack.I would rather be singing.I am also good in writing.I like singer prince.I also like Leonell Richi.I will go to singing on monday and thursday afternoons.10,000 people are missing in Kyoto.Terrible news.See you sometime in the city.
Banana Bobana

...

Thanks for your reply. John is the best friend.I am sorry for the dead people. I loved Michael Jackson along with so many people.I love his country United States of America and Barak and Michelle Obama too.My parents have many friends from Japan.I have family in Newzeland also.THanks for dance lessons.Best regards for you and Mandy,
Banana from Bananaland.The concert for Bananaland was the best concert in the whole world.I love Norway my Husbands country.I will say thankyou for the music like ,Abba,the Sweedish Group.The salsa music is wonderful.Richard Dean Andersen,Mcgyver is really very good.He never killed anybody in the series Mcgyver.Tago Dance,comes from Argentina.Our friend Franko Gabano and Tilly Cruz comes from Argentina.The Argentinian football team is very popular in Banaland.We are very fond of Maradonna.He is a good football coach.You are a good dance trainer.Give regards to Xavier from France and his wife from Denmark Trine.Our friend Damien is in France now.My sisters' sister in law lives in France.Would you give regards to your parents from me? Bye Bye.God is great.Thanks for giving me star for dancing.
With best regards for you and Mandy Banderbooby,
Mrs.Banana Bubana

Did I just read the entire Wikipedia in Cliff's Notes?

You're not goin' to believe this, but I found this complete conversation on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQbYc7qLgBc
organofcorti
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Poor impulse control.


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November 25, 2011, 08:42:53 PM
 #65

And while we're on *that* particular topic, I've always thought that dwarves, Japanese people and Michael Jackson should

REST OF POST REDACTED FOR BEING ON TOPIC.

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Jeremy West spendbitcoins.com
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November 25, 2011, 10:51:51 PM
 #66

These aren't the droids you're looking for.

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November 25, 2011, 11:09:10 PM
 #67

Somewhere in America there's a movement to quit calling it Black Friday. Someday soon, business will not be able to use the term "in the black." Just wait till the Indians hear about this.

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November 26, 2011, 11:07:40 AM
 #68

Whenever I see a fat lady fall on the street, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I were an ant and she fell on me? Then it wouldn't be so funny.

--Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

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November 26, 2011, 03:27:59 PM
 #69

As an elephant, whenever I see a mouse, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if comes closer? Then it wouldn't be so funny.

~ Nikki the Elephant
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November 26, 2011, 11:16:21 PM
 #70

As an elephant, whenever I see a mouse, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if comes closer? Then it wouldn't be so funny.

~ Nikki the Elephant

+Wan

The Obi Kenobi kind.

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November 27, 2011, 02:45:14 AM
 #71

Fact: Every 17 seconds (on average) on Facebook, somebody is calling their own mother a bitch. Sick!
Jeremy West spendbitcoins.com
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November 27, 2011, 02:53:51 AM
 #72

Ducks are cool.

Phinnaeus Gage
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November 27, 2011, 02:58:52 AM
 #73

Edit: I edited this post after it was already quoted. Some people just don't give you enough time to proofread copy.  Wink

Ducks are cool.

Yes they are, but remember: A monkey never Monkey's with another Monkey's monkey...just sayin'.


Jeremy West spendbitcoins.com
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November 27, 2011, 06:30:38 AM
 #74

Ducks are cool.

Yes they are, but remember: Never monkey with another monkey's monkey.


That's totally homophobic!

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November 27, 2011, 02:11:15 PM
 #75

Computer is slow this morning, thus reserving the right to edit this post.
Matthew N. Wright
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November 27, 2011, 05:26:43 PM
 #76

Computer is slow this morning, thus reserving the right to edit this post.


I hereby grant you the right to edit my post as well.


EDIT: Thank you Matthew. The people of Uganda rejoice in your name. Picture for proof.


netrin
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November 27, 2011, 08:26:04 PM
 #77

'We think the pleasure of humor, the emotion of mirth, is the brain's reward for discovering its mistaken inferences,' says Hurley, co-author of Inside Jokes (from /.)

Just thought that sounded like a blockchain reorg... which are neither funny nor instantaneous.

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netrin
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November 27, 2011, 08:28:33 PM
 #78

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

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Jeremy West spendbitcoins.com
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November 27, 2011, 08:30:31 PM
 #79

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

And then what happened?

netrin
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November 27, 2011, 08:52:38 PM
 #80

Jeremy, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you stayed on topic.

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