The Pun & Fun Thread

[deisik]

The pub is ten minutes from my house... However, my house is two hours from the pub

[Mbitr]

[deisik]

There is no place like 127.0.0.1

[deisik]

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock

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For everything that sucks there's something that blows

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My girlfriend told me her arms and legs were tired from using the broom all day. I told her to use the car next time

[deisik]

People are more opposed to fur than leather because it's easier to harass women than bikers

[deisik]

I pick my clothes, but the government picks my pockets

[deisik]

I'm here because I'm not all there

[deisik]

I don’t go to church much, but I drink religiously

[deisik]

Milk is good, but it could be butter

[deisik]

Mexico has now decided they will pay for the wall and Canada wants one too

[deisik]

I asked the librarian if she had a book on Schrödinger's cat. She wasn’t sure if it was there or not

[BADecker]

Mexico has now decided they will pay for the wall and Canada wants one too

Do you see Trump's pointing finger? Do you notice that the tip of his finger is sticking up a little, above the direction the rest of his finger is pointing? Many people can't get the tip of their finger to point up like that. Their finger tips automatically point down a little.

Trump has great talent to be able to do this. We should keep him on as president if for only that ability of his, if nothing else.

[deisik]

Trump has great talent to be able to do this. We should keep him on as president if for only that ability of his, if nothing else

I don't mind, show must go on

[deisik]

Doctor got arrested for checking the purse of his patient

[deisik]

A new year feels like a clean slate, but it also brings the second half of the academic year

[deisik]

The tip of the iceberg was enough to sink Titanic

[deisik]

The hardest thing about learning to ride a bike is the pavement

[deisik]

The number of people older than you is steadily decreasing