Is some certain lifestyle a waste of money and time ?

[Marcellin9]

Here is what happens to my friends and me and I am sure this is a reflection on different financial values and life attitude in general. Well, I don't drink any alchohol while a few friends of mine love drinking very much. They would gather to have dinner/drink almost every day(at least four times a week). I am often invited but due to my no-drinking habit, I usually turn the invitation down. We are all family men but they are a few years older than me. Their children are much older than my kid so probably they don't need their fathers' attention and time. I always put my family first so this is also one of the reasons I don't join them that frequently. Financially, every gathering meal/drinking is not cheap because it involves a lot of drinks and dishes. The average cost of such dinner/drinking is equivalent to 1/5 the average monthly income in the city where we live. So every month, the cost for these "gatherings" consumes all the income that a man can earn for months. This is considered a huge waste of money in many people's eyes cause most people don't earn much. Although I don't drink, occasionally I will treat them and pay the bills for the guesture of friendliness. Do you think my friends' lifestyle is a waste of money and time ? How much do you spend on such gatherings on average ? Please let me know.

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[Jawhead999]

Well, I don't drink any alchohol while a few friends of mine love drinking very much. They would gather to have dinner/drink almost every day(at least four times a week). The average cost of such dinner/drinking is equivalent to 1/5 the average monthly income in the city where we live. So every month, the cost for these "gatherings" consumes all the income that a man can earn for months.

If the cost of dinner/drinking is equivalent to 1/5 average monthly income, I think your friends will broke after a week, how it's possible your friends can have a dinner/drinking for at least 16x times in a month, they are should in debt.

You can friend with them, but it doesn't mean you need to follow anything that your friends are doing, you need to independent and only do what you want to do. For me having a dinner/drinking for 4x times in a week is really wasting money, I will not follow their habit.

[lovesmayfamilis]

When people do not have goals, they will always spend time with alcohol. This is the level of life of an uneducated person, for whom the whole meaning of life is to fill his mind with alcohol, thereby obtaining temporary pleasure, and avoiding problems.
Do not prevent these people from decomposing and degrading, because they will certainly end badly, having received one or another degree of addiction to alcoholism, which will lead them to a quick outcome.
Life is given to a person once, and there comes a moment when a person finally sobers up, but he is at an advanced age when only regrets remain.
There is an expression that says: Tell me who your friend is, and I will tell you who you are. Run from such friends, OP. The more successful people there are around you, the more you will develop. By being around empty people, you can also become like them.

[Crypt0Gore]

@Lovesmayfamilis have said it all, only a shameless piece of trash spend that high amount of money on alcohol, they have nothing interesting going on in their lives, and these types of men are hardly responsible, I am sure that there is a high chance their wives are the one paying the bills in their home, they are just shameless men.

You need to detached yourself from such men, as they will waste your valuable time and money away, this type of friend won't help you in life, because you have a goal and they don't, detach before it's too late.

This year I detached myself from some set of friends, they came knocking and asking me to go out with them, I don't drink alcohol like you but I see no reason to follow them and waste my time, this is what they always do, waste time when I should be busy with my online jobs, it got to a point that they named me an Introvert and I don't even complain. Today we are far apart, they don't call me and I don't call them, I like it because this is the only way I can move forward in life.

Avoid time wasters.

Avoid unnecessary spending.

Avoid people that don't have a life or goal.

These set of people are toxic to your life, ask yourself what you have gained since you have been going out with them, you guys will only chat about someone else, or talk about football, or do more gossip, all this are time wasting.

[Nwada001]

There are lots of gatherings that require some level of financial stability before you get involved. This kind of gathering is really not meant for you and your clue because you are all salary earners, and small salary earners at that, so spending that much is not advisable. At the end of the month before salary is paid, every responsible man will map out all family needed expenses, and if this fund is enough to foot those bills, there will barely be enough for other expenses. So I assume that for them to live such a life, they really don't look back at their family. Maybe they have seen this kind of gathering from people around who are far above their financial class. 

Let me use myself as an example: I have a few neighbors with whom I spend time almost every weekend; two of them are offshore workers who work two straight weeks on duty and two straight weeks off duty; whenever they are around, they want us to gather to chill, have fun, drink, and eat together. me knowing that their pay is stable and mine is not, and most of the time they are paid very well. Before I go out like that, I always hit them up and tell them that I barely have enough to spend. We laugh over it. At least I have told them about my financial capability, so it's left for them to either say "follow" or I quietly sit behind. 

[WatChe]

Do you think my friends' lifestyle is a waste of money and time ? How much do you spend on such gatherings on average ? Please let me know.

I too was addicted to having meals at restaurants once or twice a week and I can say with confidence that apart from spending it brings lot of health issues like along with diseases like diabetics or blood pressure etc. Not much hygiene is maintained at restaurants and food items used there are toxic to health. Best is to eat at home and you go to restaurants once in a while along with your family or sometimes with friends too. I always try to maintain balance between money, family and friends with family coming at number one.

[imamusma]

If they don't have financial problems, then they can do it even if I don't agree with such things.
Inflation must change their attitude about how to manage finances well. Spending money on things like that is always considered not a good step to prevent financial problems. It's okay if it's only once a month, but if it's 4x a week it will definitely cause problems.

I can hang out with friends once a week, that's fine for me and for everyone else. Financially it is safe, but limiting the use of money for trivial things like this will certainly allow you to manage your finances well during inflation.

[Lamkuthang]

From what you've shared, it appears that your friends' lifestyle of frequent and expensive gatherings centered around drinking may be a waste of both time and money. While everyone has different values and priorities, spending such a significant portion of one's income on socializing and alcohol can be unsustainable and irresponsible. It's important to prioritize family and financial stability, especially in today's economic climate.

Personally, I believe in finding a balance between socializing and saving money for the future.  I do not have a personal average spend on such gatherings, but it's important to evaluate the cost-benefit of any activity and ensure that it aligns with one's values and goals.

[Oasisman]

Here is what happens to my friends and me and I am sure this is a reflection on different financial values and life attitude in general. Well, I don't drink any alchohol while a few friends of mine love drinking very much. They would gather to have dinner/drink almost every day(at least four times a week). I am often invited but due to my no-drinking habit, I usually turn the invitation down. We are all family men but they are a few years older than me. Their children are much older than my kid so probably they don't need their fathers' attention and time. I always put my family first so this is also one of the reasons I don't join them that frequently. Financially, every gathering meal/drinking is not cheap because it involves a lot of drinks and dishes. The average cost of such dinner/drinking is equivalent to 1/5 the average monthly income in the city where we live. So every month, the cost for these "gatherings" consumes all the income that a man can earn for months. This is considered a huge waste of money in many people's eyes cause most people don't earn much. Although I don't drink, occasionally I will treat them and pay the bills for the guesture of friendliness. Do you think my friends' lifestyle is a waste of money and time ? How much do you spend on such gatherings on average ? Please let me know.

Depends on the person's perspective. To someone who has so little, seeing your friends drinking, smoking, and whatever their vices is, It is always a waste of money for them. But to someone who wants to enjoy their life to the fullest (life is short mentality), money doesn't matter as they can be replenished, but the time passed is something we cannot live again.
IMO, there are 2 answers for this and that depends on a person's perspective in life. This is either a waste of money or enjoying life while you're still living.

[Marcellin9]

@Lovesmayfamilis have said it all, only a shameless piece of trash spend that high amount of money on alcohol, they have nothing interesting going on in their lives, and these types of men are hardly responsible, I am sure that there is a high chance their wives are the one paying the bills in their home, they are just shameless men.

You need to detached yourself from such men, as they will waste your valuable time and money away, this type of friend won't help you in life, because you have a goal and they don't, detach before it's too late.

This year I detached myself from some set of friends, they came knocking and asking me to go out with them, I don't drink alcohol like you but I see no reason to follow them and waste my time, this is what they always do, waste time when I should be busy with my online jobs, it got to a point that they named me an Introvert and I don't even complain. Today we are far apart, they don't call me and I don't call them, I like it because this is the only way I can move forward in life.

Avoid time wasters.

Avoid unnecessary spending.

Avoid people that don't have a life or goal.

These set of people are toxic to your life, ask yourself what you have gained since you have been going out with them, you guys will only chat about someone else, or talk about football, or do more gossip, all this are time wasting.

You are right on the point that they have nothing interesting going on in their lives. I like reading and sometimes want to share some views with them but they have zero interest. Well, their wives are doing fine and all of them make good money so finance is not a problem. i won't use the word "shameless" because they do support their family but I gree with you that spending less time on such meaningless gatherings is good for me.

When people do not have goals, they will always spend time with alcohol. This is the level of life of an uneducated person, for whom the whole meaning of life is to fill his mind with alcohol, thereby obtaining temporary pleasure, and avoiding problems.
Do not prevent these people from decomposing and degrading, because they will certainly end badly, having received one or another degree of addiction to alcoholism, which will lead them to a quick outcome.
Life is given to a person once, and there comes a moment when a person finally sobers up, but he is at an advanced age when only regrets remain.
There is an expression that says: Tell me who your friend is, and I will tell you who you are. Run from such friends, OP. The more successful people there are around you, the more you will develop. By being around empty people, you can also become like them.

They are not uneducated people but truly empty so that's why they are loving alchohol so much. You know it feels so sad when you know that they are kind people in heart but their values are so different from mine. Run from them ? Don't need to do that necessarily. I choose to let everything go as it flows.

Well, I don't drink any alchohol while a few friends of mine love drinking very much. They would gather to have dinner/drink almost every day(at least four times a week). The average cost of such dinner/drinking is equivalent to 1/5 the average monthly income in the city where we live. So every month, the cost for these "gatherings" consumes all the income that a man can earn for months.

If the cost of dinner/drinking is equivalent to 1/5 average monthly income, I think your friends will broke after a week, how it's possible your friends can have a dinner/drinking for at least 16x times in a month, they are should in debt.

You can friend with them, but it doesn't mean you need to follow anything that your friends are doing, you need to independent and only do what you want to do. For me having a dinner/drinking for 4x times in a week is really wasting money, I will not follow their habit.

Not really. We are all doing fine financially and I don't think they will have any financial problems for many years. The point is not how much money wasted here but this kind of lifestyle is already a huge waste. I agree with you on the most values so I try to avoid these gatherings as much as I can.

[SatoPrincess]

Not really. We are all doing fine financially and I don't think they will have any financial problems for many years. The point is not how much money wasted here but this kind of lifestyle is already a huge waste. I agree with you on the most values so I try to avoid these gatherings as much as I can.

I think every person at some point in their life entertain certain vices and eventually outgrow them. If your friends financially stable as you say and handle their responsibilities as a husband and father, I don’t think having a men’s club meeting every weekend is bad but four times a week is too much. It’s hard  to imagine a man who spends his evenings in a bar is successful in business, how do you show up to work the next morning. You should change your circle if you feel the relationship is counterproductive. You obviously do not share the same values as them.

[Lorence.xD]

Here is what happens to my friends and me and I am sure this is a reflection on different financial values and life attitude in general. Well, I don't drink any alchohol while a few friends of mine love drinking very much. They would gather to have dinner/drink almost every day(at least four times a week). I am often invited but due to my no-drinking habit, I usually turn the invitation down.

Isn't this considered as alcohol addiction? Four times a week seems a lot if you count it in months they drink like 16 times? OP also mentioned that isn't just a simple drinking session so you wouldn't expect a cheap alcohol drinks. Having gathering for like weekly if it continuous it will drain their money. Even if I like to join them for drinking but knowing the fact that OP stated obviously I would turn them down. Just simply say no you could have save a lot of money where you can use in investments much more likely practical.

The average cost of such dinner/drinking is equivalent to 1/5 the average monthly income in the city where we live. So every month, the cost for these "gatherings" consumes all the income that a man can earn for months

With this statement I could say that they must be rich or is just that they addicted in drinking. That's no joke for earning a lot just to use them all at alcohols. If they just an average man where they also earn an average income then good luck for surviving everyday because they won't last long.

[Doan9269]

Any life you have lived and you can't give it to your children to live that same pattern of lifestyle is as good as nothing but a waste of time, also anything you will do and later regret your actions taken is also a perfect means to waste time, the last one is the worst here, any kind of life you will live and it affects your physical or mental accuracy and well-being is a total waste of time and money, you know some bad things you always do and your inner conscience always fighting you against doing those things, yet because of the pleasure you finds in them you keeping repeating them, all were nothing but a waste of time and resources.

[xSkylarx]

That is why they are inviting you because you are paying the bills lol. Has any of your friends having financial problems like they are saying that they salary is not enough or they are now in debt then it would really bad for them financially. Alcohol and eating outside is really big expenses but nothing wrong with this if you are just doing this on monthly basis just to treat your self but if it is frequently you really go broke. I do drink alcohol mostly if i do have extra money just to relaxt but not on daily basis which still i say that it is a waste of money because if I save it i could have enough money to buy something.

[harapan]

If once in a while you and your friends meet up and have expensive dinners or drinks or both then that's normal but yo do it weekly is something else. Its even way worst if it's four times every week. It just doesn't make sense even if you make a lot of money that can cover the bills and not feel it. Spending so much money on alcohol and unnecessary meals four days out of seven days a week is just another level of stupid for a salary earner responsibilities. At this rate they'll be broke in no time.
People who actually have plans for the future and beneficiaries wouldn't make those kind of decisions. Avoid people like that. Know the kind of company you keep. 

[mvdheuvel1983]

Here is what happens to my friends and me and I am sure this is a reflection on different financial values and life attitude in general. Well, I don't drink any alchohol while a few friends of mine love drinking very much. They would gather to have dinner/drink almost every day(at least four times a week). I am often invited but due to my no-drinking habit, I usually turn the invitation down.

When a person can't find a deep sense of meaning, they distract themselves with pleasure.” Viktor E. Frankl. I have never forgeotten this quote from the first day I read it. Taking alcohol is not good or bad. Everything should be done in moderation. But your friends seems to be overdoing it and I could guess that their lives - personal, career, family, and relationship lives would be affected terribly. It is not good for them.

We are all family men but they are a few years older than me. Their children are much older than my kid so probably they don't need their fathers' attention and time. I always put my family first so this is also one of the reasons I don't join them that frequently. Financially, every gathering meal/drinking is not cheap because it involves a lot of drinks and dishes.

You on the other hand have to do away with these friends if they add nothing positive to your life. Despite you all being married, sooner than later, you will come under peer pressure or influence to join them becasue you wouldn't want to feel like the odd person out or you will be tired of them teasing you.

Although I don't drink, occasionally I will treat them and pay the bills for the guesture of friendliness. Do you think my friends' lifestyle is a waste of money and time ? How much do you spend on such gatherings on average ? Please let me know.

Get new friends who
- encourage you to leave a healthly lifestlye - exercise
- encourage you to spend time with your family and not away from them
- talk and exchange business ideas with you
- talk about making an impact in your society -  mentoring young boys on how to be the perfect gentlemen
- encourage you to acquire new skill or an additional source of income.

[slapper]

Your buddies are spending like confetti on booze and nice meals in our great and exciting world. That's important for their wallets and values. Studies reveal that wild parties and diner hopping can harm our money, health, and friendships for years. We must spend wisely and align our ideals and ambitions.

Remember the big picture. Social factors encourage drinking and dining out too much. Ads, peer pressure, etc. If we want to make decisions that reflect our values, we must be aware of these factors and ask questions. Yes, we need to have fun, but we must control our spending. You'll make amazing, happy choices if you consider your options and see the world as it is.

[Flexystar]

Ahh, now I get why I love this forum! Because everyone here is like-minded and do not really go waste their money just on anything. Off course, its a waste of money if you gonna eat out in a diner every day and also put money on alcohol. They will end up putting more money in their Hospital Bills after a few years and I am not talking about old age, but very soon looking at the current behavior patterns. That's really funny and also very costly affair for sure.

I think they do not understand how to manage the expenses or they are living in the delusional lifestyle where they think they have achieved everything.

In reality we never get enough money until the rest of our lives. There is always something coming at every foot step. Be aware and stay away from them.

I think you are doing great at managing your "MONEY".

[mu_enrico]

Do you think my friends' lifestyle is a waste of money and time ?

Based on your limited information, and since you are also invited, it means that the drinking/socializing isn't for productive activity, but for fun only. In this case, yes it's a waste of money. However, drinking/socializing can generate income if its purpose is work-related entertainment. I mean, when you are in business dealing with clients that can make you more money than you spend. Or to keep a good relationship with partners.

How much do you spend on such gatherings on average ? Please let me know.

As I said it depends on the purpose of the gatherings. If it's just for fun with "useless but I love" friends, then no more than 5% per month for them.
If it's for business then depends on the proposal value. Maybe 10%-20% including kickbacks.

[AnonBitCoiner]

absolutely yes your friend is involved in useless activities that has no future.   Using income in those activities which are not a part of life does not sound good and I think that the person is your friend but remember that a bad friend can effect your behaviour too.

Its the right time to leave that company of friend or otherwise you will think later that its not a good thing. Living a simple life is full of advantages and eating at home is healthy food as compared to restaurants.

There are numerous benefits of living simple life and avoid all those things which are expensive as well as not good for health.