Placing value in the family

[Noson]

Wow!

This topic make sense die and na real matter wey dey play for our African families normally.

Wetin dey cause this matter na economic hardship thereby promoting bitterness and envy. But the truth be say, everything boils down to MINDSET. Because, favouritism doesn't only thrive in families where poverty dwells. Favouritism no respect family background. Favouritism dey play for rich homes too.

To solve the matter na 2-way approach:

Firstly: Parents need to LOVE their kids equally without making anyone look irrelevant because of their current financial status. Parents need to understand say favouritism dey breed hatred and disunity. And e no go make sense say na parents go dey promote disunity amongst their own kids. That will be so bad.

Secondly:  As a guy man or babe, I go like advice say make we find something genuine to do. No wait make that big breakthrough land. Them say na small drops dey form ocean. Abi?... Today your small drop fit be POS shop, Simcard shop, Snacks joint,  Akara joint... As long as e dey fit buy your soap and soap for your family, as long as e dey buy small garr for you and your parents or your own family and as long as you dey fit save part of the money, ONE DAY THINGS GO SOFT FOR YOU! Because, na who enter bush dey see bushmeat catch.

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[Best-mary]

No be lie. E dey happen for every family. Now the worst part be say country con hard. Imagine the kind trauma most of them go pass through just because say money no dey hand.

Na man dey suffer this thing pass. The insult they always come as premium

[CryptoHeadlineNews]

To solve the matter na 2-way approach:

Firstly: Parents need to LOVE their kids equally without making anyone look irrelevant because of their current financial status. Parents need to understand say favouritism dey breed hatred and disunity. And e no go make sense say na parents go dey promote disunity amongst their own kids. That will be so bad.

Secondly:  As a guy man or babe, I go like advice say make we find something genuine to do. No wait make that big breakthrough land. Them say na small drops dey form ocean. Abi?... Today your small drop fit be POS shop, Simcard shop, Snacks joint,  Akara joint... As long as e dey fit buy your soap and soap for your family, as long as e dey buy small garr for you and your parents or your own family and as long as you dey fit save part of the money, ONE DAY THINGS GO SOFT FOR YOU! Because, na who enter bush dey see bushmeat catch.

This na better truth you just sama for here my friend, because without doing all what you said as shown above, both parents and youth will be doing themselves more harm than good, that is, when the parents fails to unit the family due to their selfish gain, it scatters the family at end, and likewise, when a youth depends too much I getting a white collar job that is never forth coming, such individual end up wasting his time and grow old, and yet haven't got a single achievement, which makes him or her lose respect for himself. Because if there is one thing the hardship in this country thought us, is the ability to be able to hustle in any condition and yet still survive.

[Agbe]

Dat is where responsible parentshood go come play. How di parents take prepare di children for di future challenges also means a lot. Though their destiny e dey their hands but di parents go set the pace or path for dem. But whereby the parents has done theirs and u come failed, na there di disrespect go come and him or her e no go get di respect in di family again. And dis thing many of e don see am for their families so experience is the best man to know all dis kind things.
As odas don tok am even as that though you don't have anything to offer to them but ur character towards dem go tell dem saw you be good person in di family. Do di right thing at right time shun evil. Be a good person in the society with day value will be restored back to you again. always think what you can do to support yourself and the family. There are lot of things you can do to support yourself and the family.

[sokani]

Dis topic dey nice and na wetin dey happen for most of our families. E go dey very bad say afta your parent don try raise you up or you don grow up to a certain level you no fit bring anything on di table, because at some point dem no go dey regard you, not just your parents but your siblings too. E get tori wey I hear about a family wey dier fada die, di first son dey far far north and im no dey financially bouyant, so dem just hold meeting com bury dier papa. Afta burial dem come call di guy man dey tell am wetin happen, di guy com dey para say why dem go bury dier papa without im knowledge and presence... Dem com let di guy kno say na because nothing com out for him side, dat even di transport fee na dem go pay for am to and fro, so dem don reason am com decide to add di money for di burial expenses. So make una reason dat kind thing.

I no say all fingers no dey equal and di fact say e stew for you first no mean say e no go stew for anoda person. Dis na wetin most of our parents and siblings dey fail to understand, life is in circles and your own turn go come. But still on still e no mean say make person fold im arms dey look ceiling say im dey wait for God's time, one needs to go out there and do a legit hustle, no mata how small, appreciate your little beginning and trust God for beta things.

[Zackz5000]

Naturally no piken go feel happy say e no dey ever contribute for family needs me sometime I go just dey vex for my self say I no dey fit dey add value for family unto say my parents don suffer for my head train me for University I graduate still come dey feed under them with out contributing anything.
As time dey go I come dey notice say the way my parents dey do for me before when I still dey school how them dey treat me when ever I come bck home because that time them place me for high value no meeting they no dey involve me I no come dey see those things again after a year from NYSC. Only me come understand say na poverty dey cause this one, say if I get money some insult no go dey occur because no be small insult I receive but e motivated me to work harder and things started changing for good as I dey talk now my value don high for the family the respect don dey cos me dey deliver back to back.
All most very household family for naija still dey experience this thing till tomorrow.

[Benedictare]

   This matter wey OP drop don be tradition for our country,i believe say most of us wey dey this platform form dey experience am either you be the bread winner or rejected stone for the family, my friend wey dey wan commit suicide,no  do am because na sin for God hand ,no worry  him go do  am for you , because him know when him go give you money ,just bear ,for this period,if you watch well God dey teach you something and dey remodify you so that wen the money come you go know how to use am.

   Na so dis matter also be for marriage to if you no quick marry na problem.
   When i dey school one of my lecturer na first daughter,her parents say all her younger ones don marry finish wetin she dey wait for any man wey come her way make she marry, na so dem frustrate her say weda na book she go live her life with(PhD holder oo)wen the any man come she marry man wey no fit pay her bride price ,na she sponsor her marriage do everything,give the man money to pay her bride price because him no get  work and no be graduate sef,after marriage, she open shop for am no way ,buy motor to do taxi no,him go just sit down for house,she go go work, come back do house work him still dey complain anyhow say the woman dey take am do boyboy for house lastlast him still leave the woman .

[Barikui1]

Chai, as I see this particular post now, e just be like say make I cry, because na the exact tin I experience when I been dy stay with my parents, which was in 2015, the worst year of my life.

During that time wey I just finish school, I no get work, my elder brother, and my two siblings Dem been all they work, all of dem dey assist the house with feeding money every month ending, but my own side, nothing come out because I no dy work, and I never still see work after graduation.

Every day was like hell to me, because before them go give me food, them go use talk finish the food for my belle first, before I go even eat am, them come even dy give my sister respect for the house pass me, but the one wey force me out of the house na the one wey my old girl tell me to go wash plate when my youngest sister dy around, when I confront her, she tell me say I no dy contribute anything for the house, say na my only contribution be that.

That day I use vexation use park all my things comot go stay with my friends, though my father come later beg me for that thing wey happen, and tell me to come back house, but I don already zero my mind, I say e better make I dy hungry and get peace of mind than to dy collect this kind insult everyday,  I stay there till I get work,  and I come later rent my own apartment till dis day.

As I see this post now e just reminded me of my own story in the past, and if we see the way me and my parents dy use relate now, and how Dem no dy carry me play, you go think say something like that no ever happen, but such is life. In such situation the best you can do for urself na to just stay strong because e no easy I swr.

[Claudeake]

Well, some tin like this dey always happen in every family. If any of the pikin no come get money, in value go come down pass in younger ones we get money. The parents go dey Sabi the ones wey dey bring money for Dem every time for house.
But if the one wey no get the money continue like dis for many years, in value go cocoma die finish and in parents go throw way yam. Even though in get money later sef, in parents no go Sabi yam again.

[laijsica]

You wey be first daughter or Son, second and third to any number wey you be for your house, you don eva stay see say you don loose value for ur house onto say you no meet up with family needs or based on say you no dey job kon make ur old man or old woman to place value to ur sisters or brothers pass?

When parents get old, it seems to be a extra for everyone, but it's not fair, if we live we will also be old one day, this must be remembered. Our parents work hard to raise us. After getting marriage we are separated from parents and all others family members. So I want to say we should not leave our family members. Another openion.. From now we need to take initiative activities for DCA method, If we savings a extra money it will be a great support for our future and we will not dependent to any others.

[Obim34]

Well, some tin like this dey always happen in every family. If any of the pikin no come get money, in value go come down pass in younger ones we get money. The parents go dey Sabi the ones wey dey bring money for Dem every time for house.
But if the one wey no get the money continue like dis for many years, in value go cocoma die finish and in parents go throw way yam. Even though in get money later sef, in parents no go Sabi yam again.

To some extent it may not be something to generalize, some households could be very different from such practices but most times it happens. We are humans and we tend to pick interest on where benefits us. I also don't believe they get thrown and forgetting, our season may be quite different so we should understand and less every pressure.

[Dailyscript]

Well, some tin like this dey always happen in every family. If any of the pikin no come get money, in value go come down pass in younger ones we get money. The parents go dey Sabi the ones wey dey bring money for Dem every time for house.
But if the one wey no get the money continue like dis for many years, in value go cocoma die finish and in parents go throw way yam. Even though in get money later sef, in parents no go Sabi yam again.

Most times we do misunderstand these things. I dont think the value of the person will reduce because he do not have money. It is because he or she is ignorant to take care of responsibilities as an elder one and be responsible. You can expect an elder brother that loves smoking, gambling, drinking amd womanising to be responsible or take responsibilities into hand. Money doesnt solve all problems. This is because i have seen families with someone who has wealth but they are having issues in the family. I believe each member has its own importance in the family from good advice, peace maker, one who dont take bullshit and the financial supporting one.

One who dont accept to place importance in his family is just his decision. You cant say its because he is poor so he cant support the family.

[Y3shot]

That is life for you, this thing is not just happening only in the family but even outside from the home one comes from. Money brings respect,  when you don't have money it is difficult for people to give the kind of respect you want. The worse thing that can ever happen to man in life is to remain poor. When you are broke and make a suggestion to people they won't listen to uou or accept it because you don't have  money to show their is value.

[SmartCharpa]

I pray make nobody experience waiting Op dey talk for life because na big embarrassment. You reach the level wey be say your parents go ask you to bring something to the table, yet you no fit provide anything everybody go dey look down on you, even your junior ones. Nobody go dey happy say their parents dey suffer and they no fit support the family, but some parents no dey understand. If you no fit provide anything, e dey reach one level wey be say na your junior brother or sister dey provide, na you wey be the elder go dey run an errands because you no go get value, insult go dey drop everywhere. Person no dey even get peace of mind, if you ask for your food they will be like say na waiting yu sabi be that just to chop, you don't know how they buy the food.

Anytime wey be say bad things happen they can even use you to search as an example. For this life make we try work hard and make money to avoid see finish because na when money no dey all this they happen, if not how can a third child become the parent first choice just because he/she get money? This matter don make many of our youths to do bad thing for life because they no fit continue with the insult again.

[Uhwuchukwu53]

As Dem dey always yan say life no balance na dis kind matter now you go really see say truly life get K leg, this kind of issue don damage many home were wisdom is not apply and bring disowned of father and children, the issue on ground happened always, just painful where the junior one who get opportunity fail to use wisdom even correct parents when the love done exceeded limit and is bringing division.

Most of d mata dey always come from parents wey no dey reason say no be the fort of the one way opportunity never hit, because some kid of reference and praise den go they give the small one way dey resourceful fit curse division .

Parents wey no dey balance the situation fit raise the wing of the small one to boast and be proud wey go damage his life as many envy fit come out from his elderly once.

As for me I did not have such experience because my people is not the money type who love their children base on money they render to the family if not my younger once are still more resourceful than me but the place of  me as there elder brother have not be infringe by any despite their contribution financially.

[SmartGold01]

You wey be first daughter or Son, second and third to any number wey you be for your house, you don eva stay see say you don loose value for ur house onto say you no meet up with family needs or based on say you no dey job kon make ur old man or old woman to place value to ur sisters or brothers pass?

When parents get old, it seems to be a extra for everyone, but it's not fair, if we live we will also be old one day, this must be remembered. Our parents work hard to raise us. After getting marriage we are separated from parents and all others family members. So I want to say we should not leave our family members. Another openion.. From now we need to take initiative activities for DCA method, If we savings a extra money it will be a great support for our future and we will not dependent to any others.

Hey did you really comprehend my post correctly??
I dey talk say our parents dey give pass to our younger ones dem wey dey bring money pass  you for house that one kon make dem feel like say dem be number one for house onto say anything dem talk wey go happened instead of you the first son or daughter to give command first the last wey be ur small brother don pass order make dem do something and, at this point your mama go dey think say anything wey that one do dey right on her eyes without knowing say as you no dey bring. But if you kon start to dey bring now how you go feel am or how your mama go feel?
Please next time read information very well before commenting so dat dem no go report your post.

[Promocodeudo]

I supposed make this post for economy section but I see am say na we people here go real understand the post very well pass those people for that place. Just as my title take tok am

You wey be first daughter or Son, second and third to any number wey you be for your house, you don eva stay see say you don loose value for ur house onto say you no meet up with family needs or based on say you no dey job kon make ur old man or old woman to place value to ur sisters or brothers pass?
How you dey face the hit for ur family because those people wey be bread winner for their families fit understand the kind of regards them dey get for house based on say them dey always provide for the family pass their elderly brodas and 6tas. I don see some people wey be say for their family wey no balanced well base on say dem never get work or something to do kon make their parents pass the loves to their brodas wey supply the family.

As you get work kon dey bring money for the family how your papa or mama don reason ur matta, she don change or she still dey give special respect to your sister wey be odogu for house or every every don balance for balance for the family?

Well if you never experienced wetin I dey talk e mean say your old man hold money scatter because na only them wey no fit experience am. People wey their old man no hold money understand wetin I dey talk because e dey very frustrating to see say as woman them come carry ur mantle of leadership give ur junior 6sta or brodas onto say your face no show and ur shoe no shine for the house.

Abeg makes we discussed respectfully to know wetin we dey pass tru as individuals, make we see people wey there mama remove the mantle give another person for family onto say she/him no fit assist the family as e supposed be.
How una see this kid matta for ur house?

That's why everyone needs to hustle to bring something to the table, last year I bought a phone for my mother and gave her and my dad money too, do you kno that amount of money I gave them is still trending in the family till this moment though the money was a little bit much to them but I never expected such happiness from my mum, she blessed me and I was very happy to have given my parents for the very first time, from that day my hustling mindset changed though it is not easy but what can I do.

I want to state it categorically as a man, make sure you are bringing something to the family because if you are not, you won't be that relevant and even when situation arises you won't be considered as an option.

[7juju]

You wey be first daughter or Son, second and third to any number wey you be for your house, you don eva stay see say you don loose value for ur house onto say you no meet up with family needs or based on say you no dey job kon make ur old man or old woman to place value to ur sisters or brothers pass?

When parents get old, it seems to be a extra for everyone, but it's not fair, if we live we will also be old one day, this must be remembered. Our parents work hard to raise us. After getting marriage we are separated from parents and all others family members. So I want to say we should not leave our family members. Another openion.. From now we need to take initiative activities for DCA method, If we savings a extra money it will be a great support for our future and we will not dependent to any others.

I think you are getting everything wrong. Before you respond to a post make sure you really understand what the post is talking about before responding. Your post is really off topic and it's not good. As a newbie I understand it's difficult, but you should first read and understand what a post is talking about before you respond and if you don't understand, it's not necessary to respond to all posts you see in the forum. It's better to keep quiet than to talk off topic as it's is not healthy.

[Gormicsta]

Family is certainly an important factor. Some people have the family support in the world, but they don't have access to the resources or opportunities they need to be successful and others vice versa. Remember the common saying that " a good name is better than riches" so for me I think it's very important to value your family more than wealth because when e red for you now, na them go still come for you, dey go they der for you in terms of hard times, they go dey support you in different way. Although no be all family members be better people o but in despite of anything family na still family.

[Y3shot]

No be lie. E dey happen for every family. Now the worst part be say country con hard. Imagine the kind trauma most of them go pass through just because say money no dey hand.

Na man dey suffer this thing pass. The insult they always come as premium

Make people no dey allow how family members treat us when we have nothing,  because if we allow ahm to disturb our peace of mind e fit break us down. This is always the attitude of family members and we should learn to get used to this and make we also understand too if we no get money today e no mean say money no go dey tomorrow.  Life na journey and everything no go remain the same for ever, na from step by step everything go dey okay.