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Author Topic: What's the best advice or should I just let him  (Read 513 times)
swogerino
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November 05, 2023, 09:13:05 PM
 #41

I would leave the old man alone,I believe he to have enough money to enjoy his weekends of betting and since he is active most of the time during weekends it means that he is not addicted yet although this does not mean he can be free of the threat of addiction.

If he finds joy in these online casinos why to stop such joy from him when we know that when people are pensioners they have not that much more to live so I would talk to him about the gambling in general and I would not stop him from enjoying life in these last years of his life.

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November 05, 2023, 09:25:21 PM
 #42


we talked a lot about many things  I just noticed that he is very active in online casinos and other gambling activities like lotto and cock fighting every weekend, his children do not know about his activities and I'm afraid he is getting addicted.

Should I give him advice on how to manage his gambling activities or I just let him since he is just enjoying his senior years and doing things that he missed doing when he was still young? and what's the right approach, we all know senior citizens are sensitive to criticism.
Op,  according to your story you said the man is a newly packed-in neighbor, please how are you able to know that he is a gambling addict?,  just because you had some conversation with him and have seen him partake or often engage in gambling activities is not enough reason to classify him as getting addicted, he could be doing it for fun and nothing else, however, I would even suggest you let the man be and further watch his activities.

R


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November 05, 2023, 09:36:03 PM
 #43

Old age is not the time to go astray in gambling so I will check if he is still in control or has gone astray and lost control of himself, I think I will get a hint if his health is deteriorating because he will keep up both in his health and finances and I will just let her children to advice him with this.

I will just anonymously tell his children that their father is gambling too much, but if I see that he is still okay I will just casually warn him by telling him my experience on going too much on addiction, old people sometimes listen to people who are close to him and show interest on what they are doing.

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November 05, 2023, 09:40:35 PM
 #44

I'd like to ask the community I have a newly moved neighbor he is a widowed senior citizen and he lives alone with a house helper, all his children are now professionals and he is a pensioner, we talked a lot about many things  I just noticed that he is very active on online casinos and other gambling activities like lotto and cock fighting every weekend, his children do not know his activities and I'm afraid he is getting addicted.

Should I give him advice on how to manage his gambling activities or I just let him since he is just enjoying his senior years and doing things that he missed doing when he was still young? and what's the right approach, we all know senior citizens are sensitive to criticism.
If he does that every weekend, give it to him. That's not a sign of him being addicted to it unless he starts doing it every day. And for a retiree, let him enjoy his money because you're meddling with what he does during his retirement. Better give him his deserved peace and do everything he wants to do.

He's got his own money, he's not touching others' money to sustain his cockfighting and lotto betting. So, just leave the old man on his own and you have said that he's got professional children. That means that leave that obligation to his children if ever that he's going to that point of being addicted.

Other than that, with these situations, we just have to enjoy every single thing that we have when we're old because you'll never know what will come by tomorrow and as long as he's also meddling with other people, that's fine whether he gamble every weekend either with lotto or cockfighting, horse racing or anything.

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November 05, 2023, 09:42:21 PM
 #45

Should I give him advice on how to manage his gambling activities or I just let him since he is just enjoying his senior years and doing things that he missed doing when he was still young? and what's the right approach, we all know senior citizens are sensitive to criticism.

I always believe that I shouldn't put my nose on other people's business since I believe that this kind of action may start a conflict between individual.  An advice shouldn't be given when not asked, but a reminder in a respectful tone can be appreciated by people.

If are too concern on your neighbor, you should remind her in a very respectable way, or if you happen to know her family, you should tell her family and let her family be the one to talk with her about her gambling activity.
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November 05, 2023, 09:49:15 PM
 #46

I'd like to ask the community I have a newly moved neighbor he is a widowed senior citizen and he lives alone with a house helper, all his children are now professionals and he is a pensioner, we talked a lot about many things  I just noticed that he is very active on online casinos and other gambling activities like lotto and cock fighting every weekend, his children do not know his activities and I'm afraid he is getting addicted.

Should I give him advice on how to manage his gambling activities or I just let him since he is just enjoying his senior years and doing things that he missed doing when he was still young? and what's the right approach, we all know senior citizens are sensitive to criticism.



That's lovely idea. Go ahead with him and tell him about the disadvantages with his gambling so far. But since he has such money to care for himself and gamble, yes it is unwise to force or convince anyone to buy and invest in Bitcoin but nice to educate them on the merits that comes with the utilization of Bitcoin. Why not take this chance to throw that his way?

Buy those little SATs would be peng idea even if his kids are professionals, he can accumulate em and give them as birthday gifts to his grand children. This is just my idea though.

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November 05, 2023, 09:49:47 PM
 #47

I'd like to ask the community I have a newly moved neighbor he is a widowed senior citizen and he lives alone with a house helper, all his children are now professionals and he is a pensioner, we talked a lot about many things  I just noticed that he is very active on online casinos and other gambling activities like lotto and cock fighting every weekend, his children do not know his activities and I'm afraid he is getting addicted.

Should I give him advice on how to manage his gambling activities or I just let him since he is just enjoying his senior years and doing things that he missed doing when he was still young? and what's the right approach, we all know senior citizens are sensitive to criticism.



It’s better to bring this to the forum,because you will get the better advice from the more experienced people.Since his children was the professional now,So it my opinion he wa not suffering for the money perpesctive.Because the money was consider on giving the advice to this person.So the family not suffer with the money problem.So you should allow the senior citizen to live their life happily at the end of his life.Because with your words,he must be experienced gambler with huge skills in online casinos and cock fighting.Because we don’t know his experience will help to win the jackpot money,which help his children after his dead.
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November 05, 2023, 09:51:04 PM
 #48

I'd like to ask the community I have a newly moved neighbor he is a widowed senior citizen and he lives alone with a house helper, all his children are now professionals and he is a pensioner, we talked a lot about many things  I just noticed that he is very active on online casinos and other gambling activities like lotto and cock fighting every weekend, his children do not know his activities and I'm afraid he is getting addicted.

Maybe as a senior and widowed, perhaps he is just enjoying his life? And it seems from the way you portray him, he is rich with just a house helper with him all the time. So he can pay that house helper to be with him and so maybe he has nothing to do in his everyday life. His children are no longer with him, so just imagine you were like in the 70's and you are alone then of course you will think of some ways and maybe gambling is his escape in the last remaining days of his life.

Should I give him advice on how to manage his gambling activities or I just let him since he is just enjoying his senior years and doing things that he missed doing when he was still young? and what's the right approach, we all know senior citizens are sensitive to criticism.

Very hard to advise mate, it's really up to you. Maybe you can tell his children in a nice way about their parents playing and that your concern is that he might turn into a gambling addict, simply as that. So it's really up to them on how they are going to react, if they are professionals already maybe they know what is up already or perhaps they have an idea that their father is already on gambling.

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November 05, 2023, 10:14:18 PM
 #49

I don't think the old man is addicted; he is just doing what he likes and what makes him cope with loneliness. As you said, he is a pensioner. I don't think that he will spend all the money he has, especially since he is alone now. He is just enjoying and entertaining himself; it can't be helped. But I get why you are concerned; he is old and alone. Maybe you could talk to him often or play with him the gambling games, such as card games or such.

Well, its good that you show concern over the old man, but I think it is not a good thing to force him to stop or to limit the old man, as I think the old man knows what his limit is. Just be there and watch over the old man and let him enjoy what is accompanying him. Just gambling is more popular with old age, and it is incredible that he is updated to online gambling; it is convenient for him.

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November 05, 2023, 10:23:09 PM
 #50

Should I give him advice on how to manage his gambling activities or I just let him since he is just enjoying his senior years and doing things that he missed doing when he was still young? and what's the right approach, we all know senior citizens are sensitive to criticism.
As a senior citizen, they have experienced life, and actually there is no advise that you want to give them then they have not heard before or know themself. Let the senior citizen be and let him enjoy what is left of his life, the way he wants to enjoy it. Not everyone needs your advice every time, some people understand very well the consequences of their actions and still go ahead with it. It is not your duty to play advisor always.

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November 05, 2023, 10:31:52 PM
 #51

I won't do that if I am in your position.
Simply because he is old and he knows what he is doing. And if he is living alone I don't think he will need much money for his own food and other expenses. His money will be received monthly as a pensioner so there's no chance he could spend all his pension.
What you can do? Just be a friend. In case he needs help, that's when you will come in. But, not to scold him about his mistakes, just give him some little tips on how to stretch his budget while still enjoying all his gambling habits.
Most of these guys don't have much to do and they are just enjoying themselves through that means. Let's not snatch that from them just because we think we are clean.

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November 05, 2023, 10:34:26 PM
 #52

I'd like to ask the community I have a newly moved neighbor he is a widowed senior citizen and he lives alone with a house helper, all his children are now professionals and he is a pensioner, we talked a lot about many things  I just noticed that he is very active on online casinos and other gambling activities like lotto and cock fighting every weekend, his children do not know his activities and I'm afraid he is getting addicted.

Should I give him advice on how to manage his gambling activities or I just let him since he is just enjoying his senior years and doing things that he missed doing when he was still young? and what's the right approach, we all know senior citizens are sensitive to criticism.

Maybe this is an issue that is not important to some people because it will only waste time, energy and thoughts. but here I strongly support the steps you want to take and this shows that you still have a sense of empathy as a human being who has noble values, likes to help, cares about each other and is balanced. And here you already know that senior citizens are "sensitive" to advice and criticism, especially if the person who tries to criticize and give advice is someone younger than him because he thinks that he is more experienced than you, so it is not impossible if later the person will ignore and dismiss all the criticism and suggestions that you throw at him.  But still, age and experience cannot guarantee that the person is mature enough to do everything including gambling. So before you take further steps to try to advise or try to make him realize the alarming activities that he has been doing, it would be better if you give an understanding of a saying that says "don't look at who is talking, but look at what he is talking about". And I am sure, if the person can fully understand the content and meaning of the saying, then he will voluntarily listen well to all forms of criticism and suggestions that you give him.

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November 05, 2023, 10:46:16 PM
 #53

I'd like to ask the community I have a newly moved neighbor he is a widowed senior citizen and he lives alone with a house helper, all his children are now professionals and he is a pensioner, we talked a lot about many things  I just noticed that he is very active on online casinos and other gambling activities like lotto and cock fighting every weekend, his children do not know his activities and I'm afraid he is getting addicted.

Should I give him advice on how to manage his gambling activities or I just let him since he is just enjoying his senior years and doing things that he missed doing when he was still young? and what's the right approach, we all know senior citizens are sensitive to criticism.
I say let him enjoy. I don't think he has or would have that many problems in terms of money due to his pension plus his kids, but it might be better to let them know about it though.  They might reduce or manage the money involved he uses in playing, but it's probably a lot better imo than letting them discover he needs money for doing something else (which probably increases every now and then due to increasing frequency). If he doesn't take it well, then it might be better to just tell his children. Might seem like we are throwing the problem to them, which we are, but it's a lot better to find it sooner than later imo. They'd pretty much find a middle ground anyway since they're much more open to the details of the flow of money involved.

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November 05, 2023, 10:49:09 PM
 #54

Should I give him advice on how to manage his gambling activities or I just let him since he is just enjoying his senior years and doing things that he missed doing when he was still young? and what's the right approach, we all know senior citizens are sensitive to criticism.
As a senior citizen, they have experienced life, and actually there is no advise that you want to give them then they have not heard before or know themself. Let the senior citizen be and let him enjoy what is left of his life, the way he wants to enjoy it. Not everyone needs your advice every time, some people understand very well the consequences of their actions and still go ahead with it. It is not your duty to play advisor always.
Yes, they have enough knowledge at this age. Maybe deep down, they know this is not good for them. But they want to enjoy what they like, even if it's wrong. It's completely valid in this case. We will also fall into that situation later, yearning for things our youth cannot do. Because time cannot come back for us to do that, let's do it while we can, even if we get older. What we need to do is help them silently monitor or, in the worst case, peacefully resolve the consequences they cause.

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November 05, 2023, 11:18:25 PM
 #55

I guess your neighbor is just having a good time again he's a senior and he spent all of his time in too much working and that's the time he just having fun his life, those gambling his doing is just his leisure time or just hobby I guess in my country those are the common things they are doing just to relax like that, introducing him gambling in crypto is vague to him so I guess best ideal is to let him what he doing.
Again those incentives is just enough to their needs or unless their children giving them funds more than that. Base on my experience with the people surround me it's just their fun time.

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November 05, 2023, 11:19:21 PM
 #56

Should I give him advice on how to manage his gambling activities or I just let him since he is just enjoying his senior years and doing things that he missed doing when he was still young? and what's the right approach, we all know senior citizens are sensitive to criticism.
It cannot be denied that sometimes we feel reluctant to give advice to older people, because there are some of them who don't like hearing advice from younger people, or they are closed-minded about what other people say. But this may only be a few. However, we do need to be careful in every set of words when giving advice, so that we don't directly appear as if we are patronizing them. This is a bit difficult indeed.

I just noticed that he is very active on online casinos and other gambling activities like lotto and cock fighting every weekend, his children do not know his activities and I'm afraid he is getting addicted.
So, he lives alone, right?
I thought, is it because he feels lonely? So his gambling activities are done to fill his time because he feels lonely? Sometimes we don't know the reason why someone enters the world of gambling. However, if you look at the situation, if he only gambles on weekends, it means this is to fill his time. Even though the weekend should be spent with his family, because he is alone, he might feel bored and that is one way to make him happy.

but it's true. Gambling, if done continuously and uncontrolled, can later become an addiction, and of course this will have bad consequences. especially at a young age, it might have an impact on his health. So, maybe you can just remind yourself to keep yourself safe so you don't get caught up in gambling continuously and only do it to fill your limited free time on weekends. not become a routine, and know when to stop. This may not be easy to get rid of if it has become a habit. but actually, maybe your children need to know this so that they can at least spend time together on the weekend. Even though he can't stop it 100%, at least he can reduce and manage his gambling time.

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November 05, 2023, 11:19:43 PM
 #57

You cant teach an old dog new tricks, it would be more dangerous if he were drinking too much then something fairly harmless.   I dont think he is in much danger and not from anything he has not seen and experience prior so maybe he could teach you something rather then vice versa.  I would help out someone old with only the things they hadnt seen before, maybe certain tech aspects and security perhaps.

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November 05, 2023, 11:57:48 PM
 #58

Should I give him advice on how to manage his gambling activities or I just let him since he is just enjoying his senior years and doing things that he missed doing when he was still young? and what's the right approach, we all know senior citizens are sensitive to criticism.

I don't know what's the big deal there. Why not just enjoy your talks without being advanced thinking about what will happen in the future?

He should have more knowledge of you dealing with gambling addiction. Since that old man is your newly moved neighbor you didn't even know how long he's been into on that gambling activity. It's not that he will turn his gambling habit into addiction or maybe he was already there before.

Just listen to his story whenever engaged with each other. Don't interfere with how should he manage his gambling habit.
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November 06, 2023, 12:30:53 AM
 #59

If you have got an approach you consider good and a good strategy to manage his his gambling activity I think it will be nice to share with him but know that it will come with initial resistance after which if he tries it out nd it works he will definitely be grateful.

He may be doing it just for the fun because it's possible he uses only spare cash or funds for such so I think if you advise him and he it works he will listen so that he doesn't continually loose on the games. One thing about the fun in gambling is that you may enjoy it so much that you wouldn't know when you are becoming addicted especially for a retired person who does only little and have enough time to spare.

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November 06, 2023, 01:03:33 AM
 #60

I would say that you carefully approach him and try to know him a bit better before drawing some conclusions on whether you should giving him advice on what to do or not, because in the end it is important to know whether your advice could make him feel upset or not. There are senior citizens who do not like to be told what they are supposed to do.
Once you get to know him a bit more, then I would advise you to make your own judgment and advice him if you feel it is the right thing to do, one is always supposed to be led by ones own principles.
If I was in your position, for example, I think I would indeed step forward and talk to him about how to protect his bankroll and his mental health, but there will be always people who would not care about it, because it is not their Problem.

It is on you, Op.

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