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Author Topic: What's the best advice or should I just let him  (Read 513 times)
Negotiation
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November 06, 2023, 09:00:43 AM
 #81

If he is your neighbor then it is your duty to give him proper advice he has no one to help him maybe he is struggling to make ends meet with pension money so he tries to solve his financial problems by gambling. As you said he is very active in cock fighting so he may have a lot of knowledge about this sport so he chose this sport. If you can control yourself it is better if you don't become an addict You can talk to him and educate him little by little about the pros and cons of gambling. It is difficult to master everything in old age given the right advice he may find some other way than gambling.

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Solosanz
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November 06, 2023, 09:04:51 AM
 #82

I agree with many of users are saying here:
1. It's not your business.
2. Old people always think they're better than the young generation.

For users who are saying @OP need to warn @OP's neighbor because he might addicted to gambling, I just want to say "anything that you think good for you is not always good for the other people, because life is a choice"

As you said the lady is a widow and she is living on pension money. He is living with his children
So it's she or he? there's only one person in this discussion. Cheesy

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November 06, 2023, 10:05:51 AM
 #83

You can give her advice about managing her gambling activities. After all, she had already retired and should no longer need to gamble. She can enjoy her old age well and doing other things will be more beneficial for her.

Maybe the lottery still seems safer than other gambling games. But if this is not managed, she could spend all her savings to buy lottery tickets. You could teach her to allocate some funds to buy her lottery tickets every week or month. It would be better for her not to spend so much money buying lottery tickets.

Or you can talk to the children about their mother's habit of buying lotteries and cockfights. This is so that the children know and can give other suggestions to their mother. Indeed, advising older people requires caution because they are more sensitive. So it looks like you need help from his children because you are his neighbor. Or you could leave it like that because you're afraid to offend him by giving him advice.

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November 06, 2023, 10:34:44 AM
 #84

The OP's thinking may be a good one in wanting to help others, but in this case, I'm not sure whether the man is a gambling addict or simply lonely, so they seek help for the fun of gambling games. Because I also came into contact with a similar case, but on the contrary, the person I came into contact with taught me that I should not be exposed to gambling games much but spend more time with people around.

And going back to the OP's story, I just want to suggest that you regularly discuss understanding better with your neighbor, to know better and why he likes to gamble, and definitely need advice if he's deep into gambling.









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November 06, 2023, 11:04:13 AM
 #85

I don't expect the old man to listen to you, I mean how old are you? Who are you to advice someone who have take responsibility on his family through the days of his life before he get to this final stage of his life? It's in old men to not listen to anyone younger than them, so good luck in advicing such person.

And how did you get to know that he is suffering from addiction? I won't care much about becoming a responsible gambler at such age after doing my best on my kids and family, it's time I don't need to worry about the future anymore, so let me be an addict.

That man can be going through the best days of his life with gambling, something he might not be doing when he was young, mind your own business OP because there is nothing left for this man to lose, and also there is nothing left for him desire for, he might sleep and not wake up tomorrow,  I pray he live more longer though, but at such age there isn't anything left worth chasing.

Let him have the fun while he still can.

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November 06, 2023, 11:11:54 AM
 #86

The OP's thinking may be a good one in wanting to help others, but in this case, I'm not sure whether the man is a gambling addict or simply lonely, so they seek help for the fun of gambling games. Because I also came into contact with a similar case, but on the contrary, the person I came into contact with taught me that I should not be exposed to gambling games much but spend more time with people around.

And going back to the OP's story, I just want to suggest that you regularly discuss understanding better with your neighbor, to know better and why he likes to gamble, and definitely need advice if he's deep into gambling.
That's exactly what I thought, feels like his neighbor is having a hard time and feeling lonely because he's the only one left in his house together with his caretaker. Maybe gambling is one of the reason so that he can't feel the loneliness that he felt.  If i were OP, I will talk to him at first and I'll never give him an advice as long as he didn't request for it. Also OP may consider of inviting his neighbor to do some other physical activities so that his neighbor's attention will focus on other activities rather than gambling, also to lessen the use of mobile devices which affects his neighbor's health knowing that he is a senior citizen.



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November 06, 2023, 11:30:42 AM
 #87

The OP's thinking may be a good one in wanting to help others, but in this case, I'm not sure whether the man is a gambling addict or simply lonely, so they seek help for the fun of gambling games. Because I also came into contact with a similar case, but on the contrary, the person I came into contact with taught me that I should not be exposed to gambling games much but spend more time with people around.

And going back to the OP's story, I just want to suggest that you regularly discuss understanding better with your neighbor, to know better and why he likes to gamble, and definitely need advice if he's deep into gambling.

Op has provided a pretty good place for us to exchange ideas in terms of finding solutions to stop or avoid gambling. Although we have good intentions to help them but on the other hand basically it is quite difficult for us to know whether they experience problems as a result of this gambling or not at all because they come only to seek pleasure. Of course for this problem only the gamblers themselves know because they feel the impact, and maybe we can also find out a little by approaching the person and asking whether this activity causes a lot of problems in his life or not.

And also yes as you said there are also some of them who come because they are lonely and just looking for fun. Of course that is true, if you are lonely there are basically many other alternatives that you can choose if it is just for fun, rather than gambling and having a lot of financial problems. I think your first step should be to socialize with your neighbors before you interfere in their personal affairs including their gambling activities, lest you be called a person who likes to interfere with other people's affairs, and also on the other hand it is better at least your relationship with them can also be more harmonious.

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November 06, 2023, 01:58:41 PM
 #88

I think for me, the better approach would be to ask him first if how long he is been gambling because it seems you didn't know this yet. You shouldn't jump to a conclusion of giving an advice without investigating things first. If his response is he already been gambling for a long time now, then you shouldn't worry about him because he already knows what he is doing. He might be even better than you, and it looks like he is the ones that should give you advices Cheesy.

Another thing is, he is already old and he has a pension plus a successful children. I'm sure his children will also let him enjoy his small time left on the earth. Money is not a problem here.

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November 06, 2023, 02:24:04 PM
 #89

I think you just leave him alone. He does not need your advice because we all know that senior citizens needs to enjoy the remaining days of their lives with what they have either they were pensioners or not. Since that old guy you are talking about is a pensioner and has stable source of funds or income, I think there is no problem with that.



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November 06, 2023, 02:30:27 PM
 #90

Should I give him advice on how to manage his gambling activities or I just let him since he is just enjoying his senior years and doing things that he missed doing when he was still young? and what's the right approach, we all know senior citizens are sensitive to criticism.
At old age, our bad habit gets worse while our good habits get better. I don't believe people pick a habit at old age. It's always a habit that's there but suppressed somehow. The widower didn't pick that gambling habit at old age. He merely found solace in it since the wife who probably was checkmating him had transited to the great beyond. The old man is possibly thinking that he's catching fun of whatever is left of his life now and thinking he's enjoying himself by that past indulgence.

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November 06, 2023, 02:40:10 PM
 #91


Should I give him advice on how to manage his gambling activities or I just let him since he is just enjoying his senior years and doing things that he missed doing when he was still young? and what's the right approach, we all know senior citizens are sensitive to criticism.



Senior citizens are like that, they do the things they missed doing and enjoyed doing when they were young, and most of the time they overdo them, in the case of your neighbor this is not something new, since there's nothing to worry about anymore, there's money in, his children are all professionals so since he has nothing to worry about where to get the money he just pours everything and live life to the fullest.

We all going to get old and we want to remember the things that we enjoy and want to keep doing them until we are old enough to do this, so I recommend to OP to just guide him, the most important thing is he will not neglect his health and his health will not deteriorate because of gambling.

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November 06, 2023, 02:47:03 PM
 #92

I'd like to ask the community I have a newly moved neighbor he is a widowed senior citizen and he lives alone with a house helper, all his children are now professionals and he is a pensioner, we talked a lot about many things  I just noticed that he is very active on online casinos and other gambling activities like lotto and cock fighting every weekend, his children do not know his activities and I'm afraid he is getting addicted.

Should I give him advice on how to manage his gambling activities or I just let him since he is just enjoying his senior years and doing things that he missed doing when he was still young? and what's the right approach, we all know senior citizens are sensitive to criticism.


Knowing that he is very active in online casinos and gambling, I thought that he was already addicted to gambling.
I'd see his situation as all about making himself enjoy instead of getting bored alone. In fact, his children are professionals already which means that he never worries about their future aside from pleasing himself and doesn't bother to tell his children because probably they will stop him.

You either tell him not to really get into addiction or neglect his health but suggesting he will stop gambling, it surely doesn't work.

According to OP's story, it looks like the widowed senior citizen is already enjoying his pension, so gambling is obviously just a hobby for him. And in my opinion, it is not in his condition that he has an addiction to gambling.

So, maybe OP is just misunderstanding what he sees in that senior citizen. So it's better for him to keep to himself what he thinks about the old man, and besides, Niot's condition seems to be fine in my opinion as well, if we base it on the op's story.



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November 06, 2023, 03:31:18 PM
 #93

Should I give him advice on how to manage his gambling activities or I just let him since he is just enjoying his senior years and doing things that he missed doing when he was still young? and what's the right approach, we all know senior citizens are sensitive to criticism.
In my opinion you should approach talking about gambling and asking him what is his take regards it. So you share your personal experience as well, what your family think about, talk about losses and winnings, so at some point he will start about his as well, what can give you a better picture of how gambling is affecting his life.

If your conclusion is that gambling is being potentially harmful to him and that his family has really no clue of what he is doing with the money, then you can go ahead and start advising him to talk to his sons and to be find alternative activities to spend his time and money.

Of course, there is always some chance he won't like a stranger telling what he should do, but I guess you will have done your part to help him and should feel proud of yourself for that.

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November 06, 2023, 03:47:18 PM
 #94

I agree with many of users are saying here:
1. It's not your business.
2. Old people always think they're better than the young generation.

For users who are saying @OP need to warn @OP's neighbor because he might addicted to gambling, I just want to say "anything that you think good for you is not always good for the other people, because life is a choice"

As you said the lady is a widow and she is living on pension money. He is living with his children
So it's she or he? there's only one person in this discussion. Cheesy

That's right, I think there is a misunderstanding here. OP immediately assumed that the senior citizen was becoming addicted to gambling when he noticed that the senior citizen was active in gambling.
The person is retired and and has a pension. For me it's clear that this is just entertainment because his/her children have finished school and are also professionals as well.

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November 06, 2023, 04:02:10 PM
 #95

Well, if both of you are getting along really fine as you said, I don't see any reason why you should hold your advice back if you really think that he needs it, atleast, the advice will not only help him (if he did listen and do as you advised him), but this also will help you learn more about the type of person he truly is, since he is a man only got to meet recently. If he takes your advice well and didn't pick any offence or whatsoever, then, that is a sign that, he is indeed someone that you are freely communicate with. But if he picks offence or tries to act defensive, then you know that you will have to be careful of what and what you should say to him whenever you both are discussing, to avoid him getting angry with you or so.

So yeah, I personally advice you to go ahead and advice him, as long as you are very sure he needs the advice, a simple advice doest harm anybody after all, but if he actually did find your advice offensive and possibly got angry, or acts defensive, then just apologize to him and leave him alone to himself and his decisions.

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November 06, 2023, 04:03:58 PM
 #96

If he is your neighbor then it is your duty to give him proper advice he has no one to help him maybe he is struggling to make ends meet with pension money so he tries to solve his financial problems by gambling. As you said he is very active in cock fighting so he may have a lot of knowledge about this sport so he chose this sport. If you can control yourself it is better if you don't become an addict You can talk to him and educate him little by little about the pros and cons of gambling. It is difficult to master everything in old age given the right advice he may find some other way than gambling.

I do not think that the person is struggling in meeting his daily needs.  He has kids that can help him anytime plus his pension.  I think the person have surplus of fund, possibly the reason why the guy does not mind losing his money on a gambling activity to have fun.

It is not our duty to give our neighbor a proper advice if the person is not asking about it.  It will often end up in misunderstanding if we give them advice when they feel they don't need it.  Besides the person just move in, so the chance of being a close friend is far from possible.


For users who are saying @OP need to warn @OP's neighbor because he might addicted to gambling, I just want to say "anything that you think good for you is not always good for the other people, because life is a choice"

I highly agree with you, worst case scenario the person might feel that the person giving an unsolicited opinion is trying to meddle with his life.
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November 06, 2023, 05:00:27 PM
 #97

Should I give him advice on how to manage his gambling activities or I just let him since he is just enjoying his senior years and doing things that he missed doing when he was still young? and what's the right approach, we all know senior citizens are sensitive to criticism.
Perhaps if is something that he has been doing for many years even when he was young, that means he is fully aware of the possible risk involves while gambling, perhaps if he was not affected by gambling during his youth age I believe that it will not affect him in anyway because is not his first time of gambling.

Or perhaps just like you said, he could be doing it to have some fun and also as a reminder of how he was doing it when he was young, but however if you feel that he is becoming an addict in the gambling were as he is spending all his money on gambling perhaps you could advise him or instead bring the notice to his children in other for them to guide there father.

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November 06, 2023, 05:10:01 PM
 #98

Should I give him advice on how to manage his gambling activities or I just let him since he is just enjoying his senior years and doing things that he missed doing when he was still young? and what's the right approach, we all know senior citizens are sensitive to criticism.
Perhaps if is something that he has been doing for many years even when he was young, that means he is fully aware of the possible risk involves while gambling, perhaps if he was not affected by gambling during his youth age I believe that it will not affect him in anyway because is not his first time of gambling.

Or perhaps just like you said, he could be doing it to have some fun and also as a reminder of how he was doing it when he was young, but however if you feel that he is becoming an addict in the gambling were as he is spending all his money on gambling perhaps you could advise him or instead bring the notice to his children in other for them to guide there father.
Well, I don't remember op mentioning that he has contact of his children, he only said that they all have grown and become professionals. You might want to ask how then did op know that he man's children have grown and become professionals if he doesn't have their contacts, my answer is, perhaps, the man told him(op), cus op did not also mention that the children stays with their father, he(op) said that the man stays alone with a house help.

But on a generally terms though, you are right, if the op did have the contact of the man's children, he can indeed contact them and tell them to caution their father, that their father is wasting too much money on gambling.
But also think about this, what if the man's children doesn't know that their father is gambling, and the man himself doesn't want his children to know that he gambles, don't you think op calling his children to report to them that their father is wasting to much money on gambling, will be op invading the man's privacy, which could result in the man becoming seriously angry with op, and possibly consider op to be a too loose a person to trust and share secret with?

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November 06, 2023, 05:53:24 PM
 #99

Giving him some piece of advice will not make him feel bad as long as you do it not on an offensive way. Just tell him that he might be losing a lot from gambling and that his health might be affected in the end. While we know that gambling is part of entertainment, but if you know you are heading into gambling addiction, you are not only putting your money into waste but you are also putting your own emotional and mental state into danger. So never gamble more than you can afford to lose, and always see to it that when you gamble, never expect for huge profits but face the fact that when you gamble, you are going to lose your money. While it’s okay to lose, but only lose the amount that you will never regret in the end.

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November 06, 2023, 06:03:06 PM
 #100

I'd like to ask the community I have a newly moved neighbor he is a widowed senior citizen and he lives alone with a house helper, all his children are now professionals and he is a pensioner, we talked a lot about many things  I just noticed that he is very active on online casinos and other gambling activities like lotto and cock fighting every weekend, his children do not know his activities and I'm afraid he is getting addicted.

Should I give him advice on how to manage his gambling activities or I just let him since he is just enjoying his senior years and doing things that he missed doing when he was still young? and what's the right approach, we all know senior citizens are sensitive to criticism.



As long as it doesn't affect his finances and his supply or income, I'll say you let him be but its wise to have his children know about his gambling nature so they can route a different approach to the way they take care of him.

Most advanced people don't have much concerns about things that generate money and materials anymore as they consider themselves successful, having trained their children to become professionals and all that, what those millenials now require is peace of mind and joy. If gambling gives him that joy without any form of damage to his finances then he can be allowed to enjoy the years of his life with it.

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