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Author Topic: A gambler's family action.  (Read 1472 times)
noormcs5
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November 27, 2023, 05:42:20 AM
 #241


Just two questions here:
1. Dis the family of this young man went too extreme in trying to help stop their brother from gambling addiction or not?

2. Assuming you are this young man and you had to run to a distant location to carry out your gambling as you are allowed to gambling within your neighborhood and luckily you won huge sum of million dollars. Would you share that money with your loved ones who were barring you from gambling or you will just stay off from them and live new found wealthy live alone?

Share your thoughts!

I think that both questions contradict each other. First, the family of that person did not want him to gamble and they tried to stop him from gambling in every way possible. The person has to go to another town in order to fulfil his desire for gambling. The family shows extreme behaviour to him but they should not expect him to help the family if he wins something considerable.

Why would he be willing to help the family, when the family was acting like a complete enemy to him. They did not not co-operate with him in times when he needed some support from him. Now that he has gone rich with gambling, it will shame if the same family comes to him and ask for his financial help.

I do not know if the relationship between the young man and the family is so strong that he forgets all the past behavior and comes back to the family and helps them.

What if he started to lose in gambling, will the family still support him:Smiley

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November 27, 2023, 05:50:38 AM
 #242

To answer the first question, I don't think there's any length that'd be considered extreme to help someone struggling with gambling addiction, I believe that before they swung into action and took precautional measures to make sure they try to stop him, I believe they must have tried every other means, including engaging into one on one conversations, criticism and others and that his addiction was already very visible to them and they needed to take actions quickly before it completely ruins him.
Exactly, the family members might have discussed within themselves the possible actions they can take to at least minimize the gambling activities of one of their family members who is addicted to gambling. They might have taken action before, however, there is nothing to stop the addicted gambler that's why they come to the level of taking action to request him to be banned from any gambling house within the area.

And to answer the second question, if I eventually start going out of the environment just to gamble and I hit a very significant win, yes I'd share my blessings with my family, because they're the only ones who truly deserve to enjoy the wealth with me because they're the only ones that truly cared about me, saw that my addiction wasould ruin me if not stopped and decided to take the actions deemed essential and necessary just to make me stop, which was for my own good. I'd understand that their action was backed up by their love for me and my safety and not from a negative point of view. So yes I'll share my fortune with them
Let's be real in here. If this scenario really happened to you, I guess you would do exactly the opposite of what you said. I mean, every addicted gambler will. Right? An addicted gambler is willing to do anything just to provide their own money for gambling activities including selling his own properties. And achieving to win a huge sum of money, I don't think he will have time to think about his family who have tried to stop him from his gambling activities.


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November 27, 2023, 04:00:38 PM
 #243


Just two questions here:
1. Dis the family of this young man went too extreme in trying to help stop their brother from gambling addiction or not?

2. Assuming you are this young man and you had to run to a distant location to carry out your gambling as you are allowed to gambling within your neighborhood and luckily you won huge sum of million dollars. Would you share that money with your loved ones who were barring you from gambling or you will just stay off from them and live new found wealthy live alone?

Share your thoughts!

I think that both questions contradict each other. First, the family of that person did not want him to gamble and they tried to stop him from gambling in every way possible. The person has to go to another town in order to fulfil his desire for gambling. The family shows extreme behaviour to him but they should not expect him to help the family if he wins something considerable.

Why would he be willing to help the family, when the family was acting like a complete enemy to him. They did not not co-operate with him in times when he needed some support from him. Now that he has gone rich with gambling, it will shame if the same family comes to him and ask for his financial help.

I do not know if the relationship between the young man and the family is so strong that he forgets all the past behavior and comes back to the family and helps them.

What if he started to lose in gambling, will the family still support him:Smiley
Therefore, if he wins a lot of money, it doesn’t even matter how much, he will take it back to where he won. He will think that he knows better how to dispose of them. Gambling is also a profitable business because few people take money from there and never return (almost no one). Usually in a day or two he will return there again to leave them there, if not immediately. He doesn’t even know why he needs so much money, he’ll just return there again to experience those unforgettable emotions in pursuit of the jackpot. As a result, his family will never see money from him. Everything could end better, but this happens very rarely and I don’t believe in such an outcome.

R


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November 27, 2023, 05:58:42 PM
 #244


I think that both questions contradict each other. First, the family of that person did not want him to gamble and they tried to stop him from gambling in every way possible. The person has to go to another town in order to fulfil his desire for gambling. The family shows extreme behaviour to him but they should not expect him to help the family if he wins something considerable.

Why would he be willing to help the family, when the family was acting like a complete enemy to him. They did not not co-operate with him in times when he needed some support from him. Now that he has gone rich with gambling, it will shame if the same family comes to him and ask for his financial help.

I do not know if the relationship between the young man and the family is so strong that he forgets all the past behavior and comes back to the family and helps them.

What if he started to lose in gambling, will the family still support him:Smiley

The gambler will not like to make the funds on the taxation after the good win,because the gambler had win the game by their hard work.The tactics was the key to win the money from the gambling site,if they pay some taxes to the government.It may be find by their family member and it may cause some problem to the gambler involvement to the gambling.The family from the gambling background will help the gambler by supporting at the needed time.If the gambler had made the big win once from the gambling site and same was know by their family members.In this case the family member can help you at the hard times or else it was hard for the gambler to start the gambling after some couple of loss from the gambling sites.The experienced gambler will share everything to his wife for their long term gambling with the knowledge of their wife was essential one.

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November 27, 2023, 07:01:38 PM
 #245


Just two questions here:
1. Dis the family of this young man went too extreme in trying to help stop their brother from gambling addiction or not?

2. Assuming you are this young man and you had to run to a distant location to carry out your gambling as you are allowed to gambling within your neighborhood and luckily you won huge sum of million dollars. Would you share that money with your loved ones who were barring you from gambling or you will just stay off from them and live new found wealthy live alone?

Share your thoughts!

I think that both questions contradict each other. First, the family of that person did not want him to gamble and they tried to stop him from gambling in every way possible. The person has to go to another town in order to fulfil his desire for gambling. The family shows extreme behaviour to him but they should not expect him to help the family if he wins something considerable.
Mate you think wrong there is nothing contradictory about the two questions. For a compulsive gambler the action was necessary though it appears to be extreme if he was gambling responsibly the family wouldn't have had issues with his gambling life.

Quote
Why would he be willing to help the family, when the family was acting like a complete enemy to him. They did not not co-operate with him in times when he needed some support from him. Now that he has gone rich with gambling, it will shame if the same family comes to him and ask for his financial help.
How do you cooperate with a compulsive gambler? Who in an addictive situation should be expected to be cooperative; is it the addict or those giving the help?

Quote
I do not know if the relationship between the young man and the family is so strong that he forgets all the past behavior and comes back to the family and helps them.
I always say that family is everything you don't have to hold grudges towards family for long, in this case all that was done was intended to salvage him from falling off and if eventually he got lucky under his addiction to win a big sum of money, incorporating his family in that money is somehow a benefit to him as the family will guide him on how make good use of the money not to squander it all on gambling in the believe of winning more.

Quote
What if he started to lose in gambling, will the family still support him:Smiley
Support was what the family from the onset were giving before he won the money, so there won't have been a difference he won or lose.

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November 27, 2023, 07:52:40 PM
 #246

The player's family should not forbid him to gamble, otherwise he will do it secretly - and the consequences will be unpredictable. It is worth giving him a certain amount of money, which he is entitled to lose, although there is always a chance that he will win. a person should have an outlet.
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November 27, 2023, 07:57:54 PM
 #247

^

I believe that gambling is entertainment for someone who is already making money on his own. In my opinion, gambling for family money is not quite right. Although I also once used money from the family budget, but now I think that for me personally it is unacceptable. There are many legal ways to earn money even for minors, so making money is not a problem now.

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November 27, 2023, 08:21:43 PM
 #248

Luck definitely still plays a part in gambling, no doubt.  But having skill under your belt can assist big time in making smarter choices, grasping the game better overall, and bringing down how much you gotta depend on luck and, besides poker and blackjack,  take betting on sports for example - If you put in the effort to study up on the teams you'll be placing your bets with some more know-how behind 'em.
Skill to many is just jara for gambling. Some people don't take skills very serious in gambling, as they think it's not relevant for them, but they rely on luck for their winning.
 
If we depend on luck alone for gambling, it will only end us where our own winning can't be predicted. Of course we can't be too sure of what's going to be the result of the game, but still skill makes it a bit easier for us to select a better option that will make us win our game.

That's why it has also been proven that most people with mathematical knowledge winning gambling the most more than other gamblers, and this is not luck, but skill.

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November 27, 2023, 08:54:25 PM
 #249

^

I believe that gambling is entertainment for someone who is already making money on his own. In my opinion, gambling for family money is not quite right. Although I also once used money from the family budget, but now I think that for me personally it is unacceptable. There are many legal ways to earn money even for minors, so making money is not a problem now.
If we determine that gambling is only for entertainment then never target getting additional income from gambling, because many gamblers experience losses because they focus on achieving daily profits, we must determine user limits on gambling funds and never involve the family budget in gambling, I think never force to gamble when you don't have special funds for gambling, because gambling is not something that has to be done in every daily activity and I only gamble when I'm bored and just to calm my mind.

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November 27, 2023, 09:36:20 PM
Last edit: November 28, 2023, 05:00:05 AM by DubemIfedigbo001
 #250

This guy in question isn't gambling with clear eyes, I mean his habit might be as a result of peer influence or false hope he either feeds himself, or his fellow gamblers feeds him to enable them always purchase his items at a cheaper rate and enrich themselves at his expense. He's in a situation that he can't help himself and he needs all the love and acceptance he can get. At this stage, there's no difference between him and a mad man. At this point, there are two ways to stop his habit:
The hard way & the soft way
The hard way is the way the family in question took, but they got the configuration wrong. The guy in question should be arrested by relevant authorities and detained until he signs an undertaking that he will never sell any of his property again nor be seen in any gambling shop. upon release he shouldn't return to that same environment that affected him negatively. He should be relocated to a new environment to start a new life.
Secondly he should be made to understand that seeing him around any gambling office will lead to a re-arrest with stricter punishment and harsher condition. however, he should be allowed to gamble  at intervals, to keep him sane.
Thirdly, he would be going to the police station daily to sign until the family is sure he's repented of his stupid lifestyle.
Finally, a legitimate business or trade should be opened for him, or he should go learn a skill to keep his mind occupied as an idle mind is the devil's workshop.
The second way is therapy, continuous therapy and convincing advise that will help him reshape his mind and focus on being better and more useful with his life. I still suggest he move out of his present environment to help him not mingle with the familiar persons that had poisoned his mind to becoming useless. The rewarding pattern can be initiated too, whereby he gets an incentive periodically for being of good behavior and after some time, he'll get used to being of good behavior and the case is solved. He should be engaged during this healing period to help reshape his mind positively. This second process is slower and needs much patience and with someone who's case its not yet as extreme as the one mentioned by OP.

in the case being treated above, I suggest the first and harder way, the guy is too stubborn and needs a very much stronger force to bend him and the authorities can do a good job there. In my country, it'll cos some considerable cash to get authorities to comply, but its worth the investment.

To reply your second question, this guy needs to stop that habit first cos even if he wins a lot of money today, it wouldn't last cos he's not in control of himself, he'll waste the money and not bring it home if he's still the wayward guy, but If he has some senses after being controlled, he'll surely remember his family members knowing fully well, everything done was in his own basic interest...

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November 27, 2023, 11:52:30 PM
 #251

^

I believe that gambling is entertainment for someone who is already making money on his own. In my opinion, gambling for family money is not quite right. Although I also once used money from the family budget, but now I think that for me personally it is unacceptable. There are many legal ways to earn money even for minors, so making money is not a problem now.
If we determine that gambling is only for entertainment then never target getting additional income from gambling, because many gamblers experience losses because they focus on achieving daily profits, we must determine user limits on gambling funds and never involve the family budget in gambling, I think never force to gamble when you don't have special funds for gambling, because gambling is not something that has to be done in every daily activity and I only gamble when I'm bored and just to calm my mind.

I agree with what you said. There is truth in what you mentioned. Let's just consider gambling as entertainment; it should not be considered a fixed income, because if we happen to think of it as a source of income, we will be misled by false beliefs. Because let's just remember that gambling and having a fixed income are just being an employee or having your own business.

So, gambling is very far from the self-employed or employee; this is where a gambler knows it should be, so if there is a gambler who thinks gambling is a source of income, it is obvious that he is immediately lost in his belief. It's just a bonus because of the winnings we get here.



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November 28, 2023, 08:45:19 AM
 #252

Keep private your gambling habits from your family. In our country family don't support at all after saying that I earn the tought I earn a lot but don't give them money and don't help them by given money. That's creat family problem and family pressure and something they force you to give money that make you depressed. That's the problem of asian parents such as Bangladesh, India country. If you are a gambler and you are student like me don't sheare your achievement with your family because the small achievement happyness  creat big depression in your life.
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November 28, 2023, 12:01:11 PM
 #253

^

Keeping a secret from your family that you like to gamble is not a good idea, because the only ones who can help you in case you develop a gambling addiction are your family members. If you are worried about the mental health of your relatives, then don't get involved with high-stakes activities at all. A sudden revelation of the bitter truth can be a huge blow to the psyche of your parents, especially if they are already elderly.

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November 28, 2023, 12:35:28 PM
 #254

Support was what the family from the onset were giving before he won the money, so there won't have been a difference he won or lose.
I don't think all families have that mindset. When someone hits the jackpot, let's say $10K, he gives $3K, to his family, the rest he uses for his own needs and gambling again. After winning, the gambler never wins again, even if he wins, he cannot cover his previous losses. At that time, maybe it wasn't moral support that was given, it could have been that his family blamed him for not stopping playing after that big win and lose all of his money. Of course it's good to get good advice, but family sometimes becomes our enemy when our finances get worse.

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November 28, 2023, 01:14:18 PM
 #255

During the weekend I was listening to an evening programme from one our the local radio stations they were discussing about gambling, the effects and how to manage it if you might be struggling with  addiction. And they had listeners calling in to share personal experiences or of a loved one that gambles and amidst many callers there was this very caller story that caught my interest and curiosity.

She told about how the family members of a particular young man that is like a plunger when it comes to gambling, his compulsive gambling is to the length of him selling his personal properties and gadgets to make sure he gambles. So what he family did was to print a photograph of him and giving it to all the gambling shops within their neighborhood and around the locality, threatening that any of the gambling shops they have pasted the photo of their brother should they find their brother allowed to gamble in the shops they will sue the gamble shop owner to court as one that is abetting their brother's compulsive gambling lifestyle.

Now, while I was quietly listening to the story in my head I began to ask myself several possible  questions and one of such questions was; is it not possible that this young man can take a cab away from their location and move to a far area to carry out his gambling since his a compulsive gambler.

Just two questions here:
1. Dis the family of this young man went too extreme in trying to help stop their brother from gambling addiction or not?

2. Assuming you are this young man and you had to run to a distant location to carry out your gambling as you are allowed to gambling within your neighborhood and luckily you won huge sum of million dollars. Would you share that money with your loved ones who were barring you from gambling or you will just stay off from them and live new found wealthy live alone?

Share your thoughts!

1. Maybe many people here will disagree with me but I think that the family in the story is a very caring family that is trying its best to help out a loved one. This is very beautiful because the alternative would be the family not caring or only doing the bare minimum to help him fight his addiction. But having said that, the family does not know how to treat gambling addiction. They aren't therapists. I doubt what they did will have had any kind of impact on treating his addiction. Worst case, they just make things worse with their actions.

So yes, it was a bit extreme.

2. I would not share my money with anyone without good reason. Being family is not a reason to give away your money.

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Fivestar4everMVP
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November 28, 2023, 01:32:52 PM
 #256

Support was what the family from the onset were giving before he won the money, so there won't have been a difference he won or lose.
I don't think all families have that mindset. When someone hits the jackpot, let's say $10K, he gives $3K, to his family, the rest he uses for his own needs and gambling again. After winning, the gambler never wins again, even if he wins, he cannot cover his previous losses. At that time, maybe it wasn't moral support that was given, it could have been that his family blamed him for not stopping playing after that big win and lose all of his money. Of course it's good to get good advice, but family sometimes becomes our enemy when our finances get worse.
Well, family will hardly become our enemy in hard times, though some families may not have the financial means to support their own to rise again after a fall, but trust that they will always give good advice on what to do and what not to do.

It is we most times who turn against our family because we feel they want to control us, we ourselves choose to either make our family our enemy or  not, not the other way round.

Someone who won a jackpot is supposed to be sensible enough to invest the better part of the money in business or good assets that will ensure that the gambler never experiences financial hardship anymore, even if he spent a little amount left with him or her after investing to gamble, and lost it all, he or she will not regret so much as he or she will have that investment to fall back on.

This are the kind of advice good family will give their own, but most times, some of us are so stubborn and will never listen, we eventually family start pleasuring us to ensure we do not make such mistake as gambling away all that we have won, we turn our back on them and tag them our enemy, this ought not to be so bud.

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carlfebz2
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November 28, 2023, 01:37:24 PM
 #257

Support was what the family from the onset were giving before he won the money, so there won't have been a difference he won or lose.
I don't think all families have that mindset. When someone hits the jackpot, let's say $10K, he gives $3K, to his family, the rest he uses for his own needs and gambling again. After winning, the gambler never wins again, even if he wins, he cannot cover his previous losses. At that time, maybe it wasn't moral support that was given, it could have been that his family blamed him for not stopping playing after that big win and lose all of his money. Of course it's good to get good advice, but family sometimes becomes our enemy when our finances get worse.
Well, family will hardly become our enemy in hard times, though some families may not have the financial means to support their own to rise again after a fall, but trust that they will always give good advice on what to do and what not to do.

It is we most times who turn against our family because we feel they want to control us, we ourselves choose to either make our family our enemy or  not, not the other way round.

Someone who won a jackpot is supposed to be sensible enough to invest the better part of the money in business or good assets that will ensure that the gambler never experiences financial hardship anymore, even if he spent a little amount left with him or her after investing to gamble, and lost it all, he or she will not regret so much as he or she will have that investment to fall back on.

This are the kind of advice good family will give their own, but most times, some of us are so stubborn and will never listen, we eventually family start pleasuring us to ensure we do not make such mistake as gambling away all that we have won, we turn our back on them and tag them our enemy, this ought not to be so bud.
Enemy on your eyes but actually they are the ones who could be able to help us, they wont really be doing something like this if it werent for you in the first place. They dont really just like on seeing you like that
this is why they would be making actions for the solution of the current problem that you are taking. It might be looking that too much but your own family could really do all sorts of extents of action
just for the sake of own goodness. There are really just that people who cant really be able to appreciate on what their family or other people been doing on the time that they are on hardship.

You might really be that get irritated on just because they are blocking your happiness specially with gambling but actually they are really doing this for the good.
They dont mind if the action the had made is really that something too much or you hadnt been able to expect as long it would be able to save you up
then this what they would gonna do and this is something that you should appreciate on the love and care that they are showing.
Fivestar4everMVP
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November 28, 2023, 02:22:22 PM
 #258

Support was what the family from the onset were giving before he won the money, so there won't have been a difference he won or lose.
I don't think all families have that mindset. When someone hits the jackpot, let's say $10K, he gives $3K, to his family, the rest he uses for his own needs and gambling again. After winning, the gambler never wins again, even if he wins, he cannot cover his previous losses. At that time, maybe it wasn't moral support that was given, it could have been that his family blamed him for not stopping playing after that big win and lose all of his money. Of course it's good to get good advice, but family sometimes becomes our enemy when our finances get worse.
Well, family will hardly become our enemy in hard times, though some families may not have the financial means to support their own to rise again after a fall, but trust that they will always give good advice on what to do and what not to do.

It is we most times who turn against our family because we feel they want to control us, we ourselves choose to either make our family our enemy or  not, not the other way round.

Someone who won a jackpot is supposed to be sensible enough to invest the better part of the money in business or good assets that will ensure that the gambler never experiences financial hardship anymore, even if he spent a little amount left with him or her after investing to gamble, and lost it all, he or she will not regret so much as he or she will have that investment to fall back on.

This are the kind of advice good family will give their own, but most times, some of us are so stubborn and will never listen, we eventually family start pleasuring us to ensure we do not make such mistake as gambling away all that we have won, we turn our back on them and tag them our enemy, this ought not to be so bud.
Enemy on your eyes but actually they are the ones who could be able to help us, they wont really be doing something like this if it werent for you in the first place. They dont really just like on seeing you like that
this is why they would be making actions for the solution of the current problem that you are taking. It might be looking that too much but your own family could really do all sorts of extents of action
just for the sake of own goodness. There are really just that people who cant really be able to appreciate on what their family or other people been doing on the time that they are on hardship.

You might really be that get irritated on just because they are blocking your happiness specially with gambling but actually they are really doing this for the good.
They dont mind if the action the had made is really that something too much or you hadnt been able to expect as long it would be able to save you up
then this what they would gonna do and this is something that you should appreciate on the love and care that they are showing.
Exactly the point, some times, some people's eyes get blinded in order for them not to see what help is being rendered to them by their family, they are quick to tag their family the problem in their life, meanwhile, family is only trying to help the person become a better version of who they currently are.

Over here in my area, a family was all over their one of their sons who made money, and started living a very flamboyant and useless life, he bought cars even when there was no need for it, he was told to invest In business, or atleast, buy a land and build his own house, he told the family he would, but never did, when the pleasure from the family become heightened, he ran away from home to God knows where.

Long story short, about 3 to 4 years later, he came back left with nothing, he has squandered every single penny, and the same family he saw as an enemy because they were telling him to invest, was the same family he ran back to when he had nothing left, and all his friends had left him.

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November 28, 2023, 03:29:12 PM
 #259

We all know the extend a gamble addict can go just to satisfy the urge to bet, the man in question is an adult that can take good care of himself, families vary and everyone comes from a different family. We cannot start blaming the family for their action, most family are very caring and what they did was Just to express their love and care for him.

If a grown up adult can go to that extend to sell his property to bet then I think the person needs help, if the family allows him to continue like that it's likely he will not have any valuable property in his life, secondly he will never get married cause no woman wants to be with someone who always sell his valuable property to bet, we hear stories like this almost everyday the addiction of gambling can destroy a marriage.

In my point of view the family did the right thing, even if he doesn't want to share his money with his family there's nothing bad, I believe the family has been surviving so his money will not change the fact.

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November 28, 2023, 05:37:07 PM
 #260

We all know the extend a gamble addict can go just to satisfy the urge to bet, the man in question is an adult that can take good care of himself, families vary and everyone comes from a different family. We cannot start blaming the family for their action, most family are very caring and what they did was Just to express their love and care for him.

If a grown up adult can go to that extend to sell his property to bet then I think the person needs help, if the family allows him to continue like that it's likely he will not have any valuable property in his life, secondly he will never get married cause no woman wants to be with someone who always sell his valuable property to bet, we hear stories like this almost everyday the addiction of gambling can destroy a marriage.

In my point of view the family did the right thing, even if he doesn't want to share his money with his family there's nothing bad, I believe the family has been surviving so his money will not change the fact.
Yes, we don't know how the family is doing until they take such decisive action. The man may have gone too far in gambling, so his family felt the need to threaten the man so that he would not gamble anymore or even gamble in other cities. The man should be aware that his family really cares about him and does not want him to experience a more serious gambling addiction that makes it difficult to cure.

His family just wants him to reduce his gambling activities and stop them because they care about him and don't want to lose him. But if the firm actions of his family still can't bring the young man to his senses, he has really gambled excessively. He must be immediately taken to an expert so that he can be treated immediately before it's too late.
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