Who should quit, and why?

[Rufsilf]

Yes, of course the wife should first give up gambling and then her husband should be made aware of the evils of gambling.  Because girls have less courage to take risks than boys but boys never hesitate to take big risks. Because of this, it is very difficult for girls to give up gambling to boys.  Because of this, it is more important to give up the wife's gambling. Because after giving up gambling, the wife can convince the son-in-law about its bad side and if necessary, she can put pressure on the husband and give up gambling.

A gambling addict husband can be stopped by his wife from gambling. Because every husband listens to his wife, so I think if a wife can explain the bad aspects of gambling to her husband well then it seems that a gambling addict can quit gambling very soon.  I have seen some family's husband and wife could not be happy in their family life due to gambling, they are always fighting and quarreling. We all know that gambling is not a good thing but still we become addicted to gambling without accepting it.

I don't think so that the husband can easily obey what his wife would tell him to stop into gambling. I've seen a lot like the situation you mentioned where husbands and wives keep fighting because of gambling and of course, the money that the husband spent to feed his gambling addiction. I’ve also witnessed a lot of scenarios where they sell all their assets just to bet and to feed their habit of gambling. The time will happen that they were amid deprivation and they were close of being broke. So, while it's still early you should be aware of the limitations and what may happen when you enter this gambling activity.

But if the husband is responsible for balancing his gambling time and his family time then there is no problem. Just like I said in my previous post in this forum, maybe they can make better teamwork and they still have time to make playing as their bonding as a couple.

My advice to all gamblers whether male or female you should avoid chasing losses and never gamble with money that you should spend for your living expenses.

Doesnt matter on which one would really be quitting up because on the time that both husband and wife are already that addicted with gambling then expect that it would really be a long time type of discussion or even quarrel or whatever kind of talking on whose the one to quit or wont really be talking at all about quitting since both are really that interested nor really that like on doing gambling.
This is why on this kind of particular situation or condition then letting them be on what are the things that they've been doing, they are the ones who do create their own fate towards finances
because time comes that everything would be messing up not just like on financial state but also with family relationship too as we do know that it would really be that compromises out such thing on such condition.

So, are you saying that they shouldn't stop gambling and just keep doing what they are doing even though their family is at stake? They can consult or ask for help to psychological therapy if they are too focused on gambling and close to being addicted.  Who will manage the family that they created? What if they have kids? and if they run out of budget, what do they have to spare for their day-to-day expenses?
If they keep fighting, what moral will the children get from their parents?. Parents are the reflection of their children's behavior, and they can be turned into what their parents are when they grow up.

That is if they even have in-laws or any concerned relative they have, better to advise them while it is still early if the situation is not that bad. so, one of the parents or both of them should quit gambling in order to save their finances and both can make a better parent. It will also save their marriage as well.

[Accardo]

They both need each other's cooperation to perform well in gambling. A couple who work together in adventuring the fun of gambling would succeed in gambling and any other life businesses they run. Situations differ in individuals and we may be wrong in generalizing a specific outcome for all gambling couples. Could it be about the risk of gambling and the repercussions of irresponsible gambling that will make individuals make mistakes in the future? In a family where both plan monthly and yearly activities, they'll understand the importance of paying the fees of their wards and keeping to the plans of not meddling with money meant for the growth of the family. However, we are mainly hearing about the disadvantages of gambling and would think that such a family would face problem gambling like any random gambler in the street. When people understand the importance of gambling and how it could help their family grow and feel it's also a true tool for that growth they seek.

Devising accurate techniques for balancing the funds thrown into gambling wouldn't take them lots of time. And if they succeed, the only requirement would be sticking to the plan. In my view, gamblers should have cohorts with whom they can discuss closely the strategies to implement in gambling. Players who face trouble in gambling, don't share ideas with other gamblers or don't have a close friend whom they could trust in gambling matters. Telling one person to quit gambling in such a condition, wouldn't be helpful, as one other person may get addicted along the line, or maybe the party told to quit can decide to hide their gambling activities. This would then cause the trouble as none of them can collaborate anymore in knowing how money is been spent on gambling. But, in a good relationship, both of them agreeing to an idea that circulates on making a better family and being responsible gamblers, I don't see anything wrong in both spouses being active participants in gambling.

[EarnOnVictor]

Who should quit, and why? in the case of where both spouses are gamblers. Husband gambles, wife gambles, and my answer is they both should quit but first of all, is that possible that they can still manage their household finance if they both do gamble especially if they already have kids?

and the reason why is simply they should prepare for their kids and money for retirement, but if the money for retire and money for their kids is available i think should be fine do gamble with a budget

I don't know why this surprised you, it's not a big deal, if you go to some environment, this kind of a thing is a norm there, and they do not get to misbehave in most cases because it is their way of life. Just like it's in regular life, some spouses might be irresponsible even if they are not gamblers, so this is possible in gambling too, yet gambling mustn't be the sole means to judge people, they may not be gambling anyhow. I must say that we should differentiate the kind of gamblers we are talking about first to be sure. This takes me to the responsible gamblers and irresponsible gamblers aspect. If any man or woman is irresponsible with their gambling, I advise the other party to flee even in the courtship, it shouldn't just lead to marriage at all. But if both of them are gambling and are responsible in their gambling habit, to me, there is no big deal in this, they should only be more careful so that it does not corrupt their children.

As a matter of fact, I have seen a whole lot of women who are gambling these days, these are women who are even respected in society, so if they end up with a man like them, there can't be an issue because the gambling itself has never been the major of thing in their lives but an extra. It's secondary to the extent that it is not the main source of their income and from what I noticed with them, they are not such that would ever shift their position to think that gambling will make them rich but to face their career for good. For this, gambling is just a way of life, couples can gamble and nothing bad will happen, but when the two of them are becoming irresponsible in it, they better quit it as soon as possible for the sake of themselves, the marriage and the children.

[Dzwaafu11]

In a situation where the both spouse are gamblers. Husband gambles, wife gambles, how can both of them manage the situation in terms of finance and the family affairs especially when children are now involve so that the time both spends on gambling doesn't affect family moments and affairs in general.

Would it help if  one of the couple quit for the other and if that's the case who should quit for who.

 
I haven’t heard of a situation like this before, even outside the forum, and I have not seen any topic related to your discussion on this forum before.If both husband and wife are gamblers and a person needs to stop, I will say the wife should be the one to stop because she spends more time with the kids than the husband; she is taking care of the kids personal health and other things; she will still do house chores, cooking, and other things. If the wife is gambling, I believe there will be a big problem in that household because she won’t get enough time to do all these things I just listed, and that is why the wife should be the one stop. Gambling is very dangerous for  her.But for the husband, definitely, he will have a job that he does to make money, so even if he gambles, as long as he is not addicted to it and he does it for fun, I don’t think it is a big deal.

They both need each other's cooperation to perform well in gambling. A couple who work together in adventuring the fun of gambling would succeed in gambling and any other life businesses they run. Situations differ in individuals and we may be wrong in generalizing a specific outcome for all gambling couples.

I don’t think it is a good idea for both couples to gamble. Remember that we are not the same, and one person may view it as something to do for fun. What if another person does not view it the same as the first person? From there, there will be misunderstandings between both of them, and problems will now start coming to them. Therefore, the other person who did not view gambling for fun will be thinking of making money from gambling, which will lead him or her to addiction, which may turn that family into financial difficulties.

Devising accurate techniques for balancing the funds thrown into gambling wouldn't take them lots of time. And if they
succeed, the only requirement would be sticking to the plan.

Nah man. You are not a gambler, and that is why you think this way: gamblers didn’t think the way you think what gamblers do after winning some amount of money is to get another odd and stake the amount that is higher than what they staked and won previous going to get more than what have been achieved, so they don’t think of getting another thing else soing with that money but to gambler more to generate another money, which is what they are planning, which is not correct.

[mindrust]

Hey house someone need a few clips here, don't know if a post of this exact nature has been discussed though.

In a situation where the both spouse are gamblers. Husband gambles, wife gambles, how can both of them manage the situation in terms of finance and the family affairs especially when children are now involve so that the time both spends on gambling doesn't affect family moments and affairs in general.

Would it help if  one of the couple quit for the other and if that's the case who should quit for who.

Imagine a couple both husband and wife are smoking cigarettes. When one of them quits, the other will look impulsive and disgusting to the side that quit smoking. The situation you talked about describes a similar scenario. If one of them quits gambling then that marriage won't last for long. It is because one of them will be making money and the other will be losing it. Someone will go mad in the end and tell the other one gfy. It is better if both of them quit at the same time. If they like to play however, then play. As long as they don't lose their life savings to their habits, there is no harm there. If one of them goes stupid, then something must be done about it.

[Porfirii]

Hey house someone need a few clips here, don't know if a post of this exact nature has been discussed though.

In a situation where the both spouse are gamblers. Husband gambles, wife gambles, how can both of them manage the situation in terms of finance and the family affairs especially when children are now involve so that the time both spends on gambling doesn't affect family moments and affairs in general.

Would it help if  one of the couple quit for the other and if that's the case who should quit for who.

The problem is not that they both gamble, but that their gambling habits don't let them manage their obligations, right? then they both have a problem of addiction, and I honestly think that both should stop gambling, because if only one quits it will be too hard for her/him to overcome such a hard situation and still be able to help his husband or wife.

The good thing is that it will be easy to understand each other when the craving to play is too strong for any of them, but apart from that I think that it is a really difficult situation to overcome. Like a couple of drug addicts, if they both don't solve each one's problem, it will be really hard for them to keep being together.

[Fivestar4everMVP]

As much as I believe in equal rights, gambling does not suit a woman to be honest, and like I always have said here and will continue to say, I will not marry a woman who gambles, even if I myself gambles, and even if we are already married before I discovered that she gambles, she will have to stop it immediately or I just assume she not ready for marriage.

Like I said before, I believe in equal rights, but the fact remains that there are things that are better suited for men to do and there are other things that see better suited for women to do, and when it comes to gambling, gambling is a man's thing and not for women when they are married, a married woman should not gamble even if she gambled when she was single, she should understand that life when single is different from life when married.

[Barikui1]

Would it help if  one of the couple quit for the other and if that's the case who should quit for who.

to be honest, I have never seen a case like this where I live because it is one of them that is often encountered. Well because you raise a quite interesting case we think that one of the two is the most appropriate to stop of course the wife and focus on raising and educating their children. The child growth and development and level of emotional closeness are in the hands  of the mother. It is the mother who will be the director of her child while the husband has the obligation to earn a living even though in this  case gambling is actually not an ideal source of  income for getting a consistent income. It depends on whether he works at the casino or is just a gambler not involved in any specific activity with the casino.

Am with you on this bro, if am a gambler, I would never marry a gambler because it's so unwise if both husband and wife are gambling, and if they are addicted, then it's over for both of them, because their life will definitely crumbles. They will find it very difficult to hold unto money.
It will surely be a disaster if they had kids.

[AbuBhakar]

In a situation where the both spouse are gamblers. Husband gambles, wife gambles, how can both of them manage the situation in terms of finance and the family affairs especially when children are now involve so that the time both spends on gambling doesn't affect family moments and affairs in general.

This a dumb argument to discuss with. Gambling was supposed to be use for entertainment purposes only while both of them already have children that they can spend time together instead of gambling. They should think about responsibility first before they start having a children because both of them is immature especially the wife that was supposed to take care the children at home.

This is not a major issue to discuss since they should knew already the answer to their problem and start to become responsible parents and gambler at the same time.

[pawel7777]

As much as I believe in equal rights, gambling does not suit a woman to be honest, and like I always have said here and will continue to say, I will not marry a woman who gambles, even if I myself gambles, and even if we are already married before I discovered that she gambles, she will have to stop it immediately or I just assume she not ready for marriage.

Not a big fan of equal rights myself, but that's all true. Luckily, women tend to be much more risk-averse than men (men gamble around twice as much as women), so they are far less likely to fall victim to a gambling addiction.
There are also differences in the preferred types of gambling between the genders. Men favor more skilled games (poker, sports betting and alike) while women lean towards pure luck games (like bingo, slots, or lotteries).

[wheelz1200]

Hey house someone need a few clips here, don't know if a post of this exact nature has been discussed though.

In a situation where the both spouse are gamblers. Husband gambles, wife gambles, how can both of them manage the situation in terms of finance and the family affairs especially when children are now involve so that the time both spends on gambling doesn't affect family moments and affairs in general.

Would it help if  one of the couple quit for the other and if that's the case who should quit for who.

I don't see what the point of one quitting would do.  In most cases both people combine theor finances so in this case if one of them quit the likelihood of the other one just betting more probably increases.  I actually think if they split theor funds it's better to hedge theor bet that way so they aren't all in on one particular bet. 

[Reatim]

My wife gambles with me only  meaning we are playing together , choosing which to bet together and we are doing this with fun and acceptance to what will happen if ever we lose nor win.

So there is no way that we needed to quit because of how we treated gambling since day one.

but accepting that there are others that gamble with all their assets , and even their living and family are affected , so helping them decide? maybe it is the one that mostly lose , means the money maker will remain gambling and the other one will focus in real life .

A married life with kids already is different from being single or a couple without kids. In this situation, if not both will stop, at least the wife will let go of her gambling habits and focus on her obligation as a wife and a mother. She should spend ample time on the family rather than pleasing herself in gambling because honestly, it doesn't look good to their kids. As a parent, we should look at the welfare of our family, not just ourselves, and most of all, we have to become responsible as these kids will become a mirror of what we are doing.

wrong , we are in the world of equal living now and what Men can do so what woman can , if the Men losses more and has no friend with luck do you think it is fair that still remain the gaming?
wrong mate , the Men should stop and the women must continue or else they must both leave gambling and have job outside risk, but the questions stands if whom will leave and for me this is the luckier that will remain gambling.

[bakasabo]

As much as I believe in equal rights, gambling does not suit a woman to be honest, and like I always have said here and will continue to say, I will not marry a woman who gambles, even if I myself gambles, and even if we are already married before I discovered that she gambles, she will have to stop it immediately or I just assume she not ready for marriage.

Like I said before, I believe in equal rights, but the fact remains that there are things that are better suited for men to do and there are other things that see better suited for women to do, and when it comes to gambling, gambling is a man's thing and not for women when they are married, a married woman should not gamble even if she gambled when she was single, she should understand that life when single is different from life when married.

This sounds like an old stereotype that married woman place is in the kitchen. If we all agreed that one of gambling aims is about about having fun, then why men can have fun and women dont? I agree to facts, that there are some activities that men do better, and some women do better, some jobs are more suited for men, some for women, but gambling does not require any special skill or body condition. Maybe this has something about your religion, I dont know, but that does not look fair that married women should not gamble.

[junder]

Hey house someone need a few clips here, don't know if a post of this exact nature has been discussed though.

In a situation where the both spouse are gamblers. Husband gambles, wife gambles, how can both of them manage the situation in terms of finance and the family affairs especially when children are now involve so that the time both spends on gambling doesn't affect family moments and affairs in general.

Would it help if  one of the couple quit for the other and if that's the case who should quit for who.

The problem is not that they both gamble, but that their gambling habits don't let them manage their obligations, right? then they both have a problem of addiction, and I honestly think that both should stop gambling, because if only one quits it will be too hard for her/him to overcome such a hard situation and still be able to help his husband or wife.

The good thing is that it will be easy to understand each other when the craving to play is too strong for any of them, but apart from that I think that it is a really difficult situation to overcome. Like a couple of drug addicts, if they both don't solve each one's problem, it will be really hard for them to keep being together.

Yep, that's true and I agree with what you said. it's better if they stop at the same time because it's also for their own good, the habit or addiction of gambling can leave behind other things that are more important, especially if they are both addicted then it's very likely that there won't be anything more important than the gambling that they make. gambling as a priority in his life, this is certainly not good because just one person who is addicted to gambling can destroy a humorous relationship, especially if both of them are addicted to gambling, I can't imagine what that family would be like. There will also be high egotism from each of them, and this ego might cause a fight between them.

Stopping gambling is not easy, but if someone is married, I think they have to stop because it won't be good if they still like to gamble because it is possible that people who are addicted to gambling will become stubborn individuals who always want to win with their choices. Of course, this must be avoided so that they do not suffer losses in many ways.

[Dickiy]

I think the answer is clear that the better and the right thing is that if possible then both of them should stop, that's the better thing that should be chosen by both of them if someone asks a question like this. However and no matter how good the financial management they have, if they are still involved in gambling, it is clear that there will be an allocation of money that should not be done, or simply they will find it easier to manage and meet the needs of the family including their children if they have never been involved in gambling, because obviously in terms of money it will definitely be more efficient.

Yes, instead of putting the money into gambling which certainly has a big risk and is always unpredictable, it is clearly better for them to save the money for other purposes in the future such as for the needs of their children or retirement and also including for urgent situations and conditions that require them to have money in sudden conditions. Yes if they already have money saved for future needs then there is nothing wrong if they don't stop but I think however if they can it is better to just stop, gambling uses money and it could be that one day they take the money saved for gambling.

i can agree with you here. because before they know it, their kids are already into gambling and it will be too late to alter their lifestyle. they can still gamble from time to time, like for recreational purposes. if they do want to bet on their favourite teams or athletes, or play some casinos classics in some relaxing days just to have some family fun.

but if they will venture into the gambling world on a serious path. both parties, the mother and the father should understand the possible repercussions not only for themselves but as a family. they need to consider all angles in this lifestyle. and they should be ready for whatever consequences they may encounter.

otherwise, if they can't bear those consequences, better think fast and change their path. before each of them blame about the fate of their family or before they see it in their own eyes how their family is slowly falling apart.

I understand that stopping completely is too difficult or almost impossible if they have entered the addiction zone, but there is always nothing impossible if they are willing to do it with strong determination. I think  in this case it is better for both husband and wife to agree to reduce everything, both in terms of the budget amount and including in terms of hopes and expectations of winning. And if they have succeeded in reducing their interest in gambling then I think everything will be more under control, especially in terms of family financial balance, maybe they will only come when they really want to gamble with the aim of more entertainment and not placing too high hopes on the results. end.

Of course, if they remain serious in their point of view on gambling then it is clear that the impact will definitely be on everyone in the family, meaning that all of their families there will feel the impact, and one of them may be  in terms of the economy declining due to a loss of balance in terms of finance. Yes, if they are unable to bear all the risks resulting from the gambling they do, then perhaps they will blame fate or the fate of their less fortunate family, even though everything can still be overcome if they are willing to make changes, at least reduce it.

[Hispo]

As much as I believe in equal rights, gambling does not suit a woman to be honest, and like I always have said here and will continue to say, I will not marry a woman who gambles, even if I myself gambles, and even if we are already married before I discovered that she gambles, she will have to stop it immediately or I just assume she not ready for marriage.

Like I said before, I believe in equal rights, but the fact remains that there are things that are better suited for men to do and there are other things that see better suited for women to do, and when it comes to gambling, gambling is a man's thing and not for women when they are married, a married woman should not gamble even if she gambled when she was single, she should understand that life when single is different from life when married.

Quite a contradiction there if you are indeed in for equal rights. Though, I understand it must be frustrating to be married to a woman who is also a gambler. Though, you also need to keep in mind that when we are married, the relation is supposed to function as a team work. The woman does her part and so does the man, however, When we talk about women being restricted from gambling what comes to my mind is the fact they usually have more domestics work than the man, and which the man and the children depends on.
If the woman gest addicted to gambling or dedicates much time to it, then she may not have enough time to take care of her family and children, even if the man provides. It is quite a very tough situation to be in, specially when comes from someone who believes in the equality of men and women.
I would be willing to sacrifice most of my gambling time if she does the same and we decided to do other things with our spare time, for the sake of the household finances mostly.

By the way, if you don't mind me to ask. Is this a common way of thinking in your country (the fact women are not supposed to gamble while married) or is rather a personal believe you have adopted by yourself through the years, does it have some roots within your local religious practices?

[summonerrk]

Hey house someone need a few clips here, don't know if a post of this exact nature has been discussed though.

In a situation where the both spouse are gamblers. Husband gambles, wife gambles, how can both of them manage the situation in terms of finance and the family affairs especially when children are now involve so that the time both spends on gambling doesn't affect family moments and affairs in general.

Would it help if  one of the couple quit for the other and if that's the case who should quit for who.

I have heard about such couples and even watched an interview with a woman from exactly such a relationship. You could say she became a ludomaniac because her husband taught her to gamble. The situation there was like this: the guy was betting in the batting, and the girl started playing slots. As a result, he realized that such a situation would not lead them to anything good. And the girl couldn't quit, I'll say more - she didn't want to and eventually began to lose money very much. They broke up. And the strangest thing is that she still remains an ardent ludomaniac and believes that this is a great way to live.

[lizarder]

If both partners are gambling irresponsibly then it will not be long until they find themselves under a tremendous financial pressure, as even a single gambler doing this will put the couple into financial strain, so both of them doing this will only accelerate this process.

It depends on how the couple can handle the gambling they do but I'm not sure they will be able to survive for long in conditions like this. If this whole story is true then I'm sure the couple will have problems maintaining their cash flow and it could be that they will have much bigger problems.

However this is not very common, since this will require that both of them lose control roughly at the same time, and if this does not happen then the one that has yet to do so can see what is happening and begin to take measures to not traverse that path.

It crossed my mind how this couple handled gambling and got around the process of needing to use money to support their daily lives. I think both of them are not active gamblers but gamble only when they have more money and if my assumption is wrong then in the future we will see the couple experiencing great pressure.

The most common thing find is that husbands often gamble and their wives are quite angry when they find out. Rarely do we find incidents like this, where both partners are simultaneously involved in gambling. This is a rare pairing and we can imagine how much fun their lives would have been if they had bet on different outcomes.

[irhact]

This sounds like an old stereotype that married woman place is in the kitchen. If we all agreed that one of gambling aims is about about having fun, then why men can have fun and women dont? I agree to facts, that there are some activities that men do better, and some women do better, some jobs are more suited for men, some for women, but gambling does not require any special skill or body condition. Maybe this has something about your religion, I dont know, but that does not look fair that married women should not gamble.

I agree with you, we shouldn't make gambling only fun for men then women have to be hide to gamble. This isn't the 1800's that women where been stereotype of not gambling in public. Women aren't kitchen tools, they are human beings and they deserve to enjoy life as the men are doing. The woman shouldn't quit only as she's a woman, the man can give up the gambling habit and go out to look for a real job so he can provide for his family.

Gambling is for entertainment therefore the woman should have the turn as she's unlikely to waste all the family money having fun like the husband might do under the impression that he's looking for income to give the family a better life. Gambling is for all gender and I think both of them have to quit if they can't find a solution to make one person to quit without using any stereotype to make the person to quit.

[madnessteat]

^

Absolutely agree with you guys. I don't understand people who demean women before men. Yes, I understand that some of these people follow their religion, but it seems to me that following such religions in the 21st century is absurd. In my understanding women should have all the same privileges as men, not only in entertainment, but also in other spheres of life, because they are an integral part of the process thanks to which mankind has not yet died out.