People keep asking me to borrow money, some of them for betting

[Hispo]

It has become increasingly common for friends and not-so-close "friends" to come and ask me to borrow money. I don't usually ask for the purpose, but some ask me because of betting at online houses.

The last time I lent money to a colleague, who I hadn't had much contact with other than at work for a short period, it was with great difficulty that I got the money back.

I don't know where people get the amount of money they think I have, they must think I look like a bank...

Who likes having to borrow money? Unless you are a loan shark and lend with collateral where the risk is almost zero, why lend money where you end up with a loss? 'cause in addition to no one paying you with interest, most never pay you on time, at least you will get your money back after repeated charges.

Some people even go so far as to ask me to borrow money for what? to bet!! What a joke. I answer briefly and bluntly that I don't have the money to lend for these purposes!

And the worst thing is that they ask me for small amounts, like $2, 5, 10$... I think that if the person doesn't have that money now, the chances of them getting that money to pay you are low. If the person is in need, it's easier for them to confess right away to see what I can do, because I'm not a bad person.

Do you usually lend money to relatives, friends, etc.? Have you ever felt bad about it, done it unwillingly?

And when they are female friends, do you lend them?

I believe the problems comes from allowing your friends to know you have the money in the first place, you know. if they assumed they could now count on you having that money, then they would not ask you for it in the first place.
My advice to you would be as the next person comes to you and asks you to for a lending, do not ask for what the money is for, since you are implying to have the money and be willing to lend it if the uase for it is reasonable.
Instead asking for the purpose of the loan, so day you don't have money outright, not matter how minuscule those quantities are in your eyes, when comes to lending to bettors and gamblers, they will always come back for more as soon as they find someone who has given them at least once.

Also, When comes to family and friends, I tend to lean to very close family members like parents and siblings, not far closing or nieces. It saves a lot of trouble if people around you assume you are broke.

[taufik123]

-snip-
I don't know where people get the amount of money they think I have, they must think I look like a bank...
-snip-

As I experienced it too, because I looked like I had a lot of money and was likened to a walking bank.
There are many people in my neighborhood who are not even familiar at first suddenly become familiar because they want to borrow money,
whether the purpose of borrowing for their basic needs or for gambling etc. (Slot gambling is quite popular in my place).

I never respond to those who insist on borrowing money because I know that in the end I will bear the risk of collecting the money back,
but it will take a very long time to pay off.

Someone who only borrows for gambling purposes only, I really won't respond because they will just get into gambling and waste the money.
It is no longer entertainment, but an addiction to keep playing.

There are many bad examples that occur when the slot games,
they do suffer a lot of losses to make them sell their valuables. It was sad to know that fact.

[Lida93]

Do you usually lend money to relatives, friends, etc.? Have you ever felt bad about it, done it unwillingly?

Loan and relatives doesn't go together, as in most times relatives do grow a feeling of entitlement about money borrowed to them by their brother or a sister. It's an awful experience I have had more than twice  and you just can't go the extra miles just to get your money back when you remember he or she is a relative unlike if it's was to be an stranger on the grounds of business.

No matter what a relative or a close friend is demanding you lend money to him for, be it bet (which I don't support) or a project best you should do is support them with whatever part of an amount you know is in your capacity to without having to think you're lending it out to avoid have problems due to how some family members and close friends do have this archaic psychology about returning money they borrowed from a kinsman differently from when it is a stranger.

Also, all of these usually occur when an individual seem to be too benevolent.  if you can build the habit of saying No to people's demand, you be saving yourself from many unnecessary demands that'll stress you, soon as they know you will refuse their request they won't bother you anymore often.

Borrowing a gambler money to use to go and gamble, you're only causing more harm than good to that person's life. It's ain't a show of love because it's mainly gamble addicts that borrow money to gamble.

 

[iBaba]

Do you usually lend money to relatives, friends, etc.? Have you ever felt bad about it, done it unwillingly?

Loan and relatives doesn't go together, as in most times relatives do grow a feeling of entitlement about money borrowed to them by their brother or a sister. It's an awful experience I have had more than twice  and you just can't go the extra miles just to get your money back when you remember he or she is a relative unlike if it's was to be an stranger on the grounds of business. 

These days I've grown to categorize everyone as the same when it comes to loaning people money for whatsoever reasons and I've only come into the conclusion never to loan someone else an amount of money that I cannot afford to lose forever but rather to loan out funds that I can instead afford to let go when I have to.

This may be peculiar to my own environment or society but many people here do not know how to refund borrowed funds regardless of their relationship with you and they have to make you go into hell before you get a repayment or refund of your money from them. Hence, my decision not to allow anyone kill my budgets or finances.

[AmoreJaz]

Do you usually lend money to relatives, friends, etc.? Have you ever felt bad about it, done it unwillingly?

Loan and relatives doesn't go together, as in most times relatives do grow a feeling of entitlement about money borrowed to them by their brother or a sister. It's an awful experience I have had more than twice  and you just can't go the extra miles just to get your money back when you remember he or she is a relative unlike if it's was to be an stranger on the grounds of business. 

These days I've grown to categorize everyone as the same when it comes to loaning people money for whatsoever reasons and I've only come into the conclusion never to loan someone else an amount of money that I cannot afford to lose forever but rather to loan out funds that I can instead afford to let go when I have to.

This may be peculiar to my own environment or society but many people here do not know how to refund borrowed funds regardless of their relationship with you and they have to make you go into hell before you get a repayment or refund of your money from them. Hence, my decision not to allow anyone kill my budgets or finances.

I can agree with your stand here. These days, if someone borrows you money, most of the time, you won't see it coming back as per arrangement. Very rare that you will see a person who will respect your agreement and will pay on time as promised. There's nothing wrong if you will say no to people. Because if it will ruin your budget and you will be the one suffering from it, then, better be straightforward rather than say yes, but you will suffer afterwards.

[Onyeeze]

-snip-
I don't know where people get the amount of money they think I have, they must think I look like a bank...
-snip-

As I experienced it too, because I looked like I had a lot of money and was likened to a walking bank.
There are many people in my neighborhood who are not even familiar at first suddenly become familiar because they want to borrow money,
whether the purpose of borrowing for their basic needs or for gambling etc. (Slot gambling is quite popular in my place).

I never respond to those who insist on borrowing money because I know that in the end I will bear the risk of collecting the money back,
but it will take a very long time to pay off.

Someone who only borrows for gambling purposes only, I really won't respond because they will just get into gambling and waste the money.
It is no longer entertainment, but an addiction to keep playing.

There are many bad examples that occur when the slot games,
they do suffer a lot of losses to make them sell their valuables. It was sad to know that fact.

Sometimes they people seems you may not be the way you are, I know very well that many people always think that people that dressed well and also appear decent is rich, but the thing is that don't keep your mouth short when you know that you are not up to such rank people in your surroundings is giving you, the aspects of borrowing, you need to have a limitation of what you do, and secondly borrowing money to participate in gambling has advantages and disadvantages, its neither you gamble with you have than bringing debt to yourself when you have known that gambling have no assurance of wining.

[goaldigger]

I can agree with your stand here. These days, if someone borrows you money, most of the time, you won't see it coming back as per arrangement. Very rare that you will see a person who will respect your agreement and will pay on time as promised. There's nothing wrong if you will say no to people. Because if it will ruin your budget and you will be the one suffering from it, then, better be straightforward rather than say yes, but you will suffer afterwards.

This is why its better to be more private and tell the public that you’re broke so no one will attempt to borrow some money from you, though the delay of payment can be situational but still asking for a money for betting purposes are not ok and if you let them borrow, it looks like you are tolerating them as well so better so say No and stay focus on your own finances and peace of mind.

[Mahanton]

Do you usually lend money to relatives, friends, etc.? Have you ever felt bad about it, done it unwillingly?

Loan and relatives doesn't go together, as in most times relatives do grow a feeling of entitlement about money borrowed to them by their brother or a sister. It's an awful experience I have had more than twice  and you just can't go the extra miles just to get your money back when you remember he or she is a relative unlike if it's was to be an stranger on the grounds of business. 

These days I've grown to categorize everyone as the same when it comes to loaning people money for whatsoever reasons and I've only come into the conclusion never to loan someone else an amount of money that I cannot afford to lose forever but rather to loan out funds that I can instead afford to let go when I have to.

This may be peculiar to my own environment or society but many people here do not know how to refund borrowed funds regardless of their relationship with you and they have to make you go into hell before you get a repayment or refund of your money from them. Hence, my decision not to allow anyone kill my budgets or finances.

I can agree with your stand here. These days, if someone borrows you money, most of the time, you won't see it coming back as per arrangement. Very rare that you will see a person who will respect your agreement and will pay on time as promised. There's nothing wrong if you will say no to people. Because if it will ruin your budget and you will be the one suffering from it, then, better be straightforward rather than say yes, but you will suffer afterwards.

Specially on the moment that you would really be letting your friend or know someone borrowed up some money to you on which promising specific dates something like this and that but ended up on being forgotten.
This is why whenever someone who do approach me asking money or borrowing for whatever reason they do have, then i do really simply ignore and reject them out not unless if its really that emergency
and i could really see it real then i would be having those considerations but if not then i would just simply that ignore or would be telling that i dont have money. I do have enough bad experiences about those
promises which are really that been tons had been broken and ended up on losing tons of money because of those borrowing but ending up on not getting repaid.

Although there are really those people who are mindful about paying up their obligations but majority of them are really that having that amnesia.  
On the moment that you do know that someone borrows just to gamble then it would be common sense that you wont really be letting them borrow.
-1% chance that you would be paid up back. hehehe

[Yamifoud]

It was hard to decline if some of our relatives wanted to borrow money but for the purpose of using it to gamble, I should have. Whatever they feel doesn't matter because what we are trying to do is to help them either in the way of not making them fall into huge debt which usually happens in most gamblers when losing control. What we did was help them realize that gambling is not the stuff that we have to spend a lot and we need to commit debts just for the sake of our gambling habits.
I would lend money if it is for investment and for important stuff but for gambling, I should decline.

[Accardo]

These days I've grown to categorize everyone as the same when it comes to loaning people money for whatsoever reasons and I've only come into the conclusion never to loan someone else an amount of money that I cannot afford to lose forever but rather to loan out funds that I can instead afford to let go when I have to.

This may be peculiar to my own environment or society but many people here do not know how to refund borrowed funds regardless of their relationship with you and they have to make you go into hell before you get a repayment or refund of your money from them. Hence, my decision not to allow anyone kill my budgets or finances.

I see that you are on the right side of this due to the safety you plan to achieve by giving out only a few amount of money that you'll be able to lose. Whenever handing out such loans erupts giving out is fine but going for the money would be quite very stressful. Due to the purpose of the player who took the loan. Gambling is not certain, that is going to be enough reason why handing out an amount enough to cause you sleepless night is not advisable. I don't think it's peculiar only to your society, most people still find it difficult to pay back even when they have the money. Not to talk of gamblers. It has to be a psychological effect, happens to lots of people.

[hyudien]

It was hard to decline if some of our relatives wanted to borrow money but for the purpose of using it to gamble, I should have. Whatever they feel doesn't matter because what we are trying to do is to help them either in the way of not making them fall into huge debt which usually happens in most gamblers when losing control. What we did was help them realize that gambling is not the stuff that we have to spend a lot and we need to commit debts just for the sake of our gambling habits.
I would lend money if it is for investment and for important stuff but for gambling, I should decline.

It is indeed difficult when relatives borrow money from us, especially among those of us who already have an income, of course we are the main targets when they have financial problems. Apart from that, we should be able to help each other, but if they borrow money for gambling, of course what should be done is not to lend them money, but rather they should be given advice with the aim of making them aware that gambling does not have to be done by desperately borrowing money. it is not a solution to losing gambling.
For some gamblers who are addicted to gambling, borrowing money is something that is most likely to be done when they have lost a lot of money in gambling, maybe those who do this are already at the point of frustration where they dare to take big risks that endanger their lives by thinking that a miracle will happen when they have taken a big risk. However, this will not completely help them, there will still be losses. lending money to those who are addicted to gambling will only worsen their relationship with each other.

[Lida93]

Do you usually lend money to relatives, friends, etc.? Have you ever felt bad about it, done it unwillingly?

Loan and relatives doesn't go together, as in most times relatives do grow a feeling of entitlement about money borrowed to them by their brother or a sister. It's an awful experience I have had more than twice  and you just can't go the extra miles just to get your money back when you remember he or she is a relative unlike if it's was to be an stranger on the grounds of business. 

These days I've grown to categorize everyone as the same when it comes to loaning people money for whatsoever reasons and I've only come into the conclusion never to loan someone else an amount of money that I cannot afford to lose forever but rather to loan out funds that I can instead afford to let go when I have to.

This may be peculiar to my own environment or society but many people here do not know how to refund borrowed funds regardless of their relationship with you and they have to make you go into hell before you get a repayment or refund of your money from them. Hence, my decision not to allow anyone kill my budgets or finances.

Borrowing money to people at every request could make you the borrower go broke and same people that kept coming to borrow from you will turn to be same persons that will make mockery of you that you didn't maximize your money well that's why you ran broke due to your lack of money management skills.

People that have money have to realize that saying No to people when they request money from you either as a gift or borrowing it's a part of money management skills. Rather, divert those money to some crucial investment not minding how small it is and see your networth doubling in the next few years from the profits you will scrape up compared. Never compromise at the expense of your set budget except in live threatening matters.

[Mr. Magkaisa]

It has become increasingly common for friends and not-so-close "friends" to come and ask me to borrow money. I don't usually ask for the purpose, but some ask me because of betting at online houses.

The last time I lent money to a colleague, who I hadn't had much contact with other than at work for a short period, it was with great difficulty that I got the money back.

I don't know where people get the amount of money they think I have, they must think I look like a bank...

Who likes having to borrow money? Unless you are a loan shark and lend with collateral where the risk is almost zero, why lend money where you end up with a loss? 'cause in addition to no one paying you with interest, most never pay you on time, at least you will get your money back after repeated charges.

Some people even go so far as to ask me to borrow money for what? to bet!! What a joke. I answer briefly and bluntly that I don't have the money to lend for these purposes!

And the worst thing is that they ask me for small amounts, like $2, 5, 10$... I think that if the person doesn't have that money now, the chances of them getting that money to pay you are low. If the person is in need, it's easier for them to confess right away to see what I can do, because I'm not a bad person.

Do you usually lend money to relatives, friends, etc.? Have you ever felt bad about it, done it unwillingly?

And when they are female friends, do you lend them?

          -    It is often the case with people who borrow. When it is okay for us to lend them money, we usually don't ask others; only a few ask where the money they will lend to the borrower will be used. But of course, if I'm the lender and I know that he's just going to use it for gambling, I won't lend it to him/her.

Now, when our bloodline or relatives lend us a small amount, there is usually no return of what was borrowed from us. Yes, that's what always happens, but when the borrowed amount is really large and it is not immediately returned as discussed, it becomes a reason for fighting later, so it is better not to lend to the relatives than, in the end, fight.

[Woodie]

Do you usually lend money to relatives, friends, etc.?

to relatives(not immediate family)? no, they are one of the most entitled people on this planet, they get angry when you try to ask them for the money you have lent to them, they would even involve other relatives and badmouth you to them. to friends? yeah, but it's very rare, In my experience, friends are more likely to pay you back than your relatives.

You said this exactly how it happens lol.
At the end of the day, I have come to terms not to mix business with friends and family and when it comes to giving a hand whenever need arises...am more comfortable to give and forget to avoid any bad blood with family because it will sure comeback and I dislike money talks with family as these are just headaches and they could spoil healthy relations that exist.

And on the friends part paying back, well let's just say I have lost over 50% of friends over money in the last couple of years and at this point I have learnt to give and forget, if it's a large amount I send them to loan sharks or the bank unless it's a small amount say for example to service a car , otherwise money and family should never mix no matter the reason...

[bitterguy28]

It has become increasingly common for friends and not-so-close "friends" to come and ask me to borrow money. I don't usually ask for the purpose, but some ask me because of betting at online houses.

How come that even a Not so close friends are borrowing money from you? because it seems that you are famous in your place that lend people money thats why they are knocking in your door.

The last time I lent money to a colleague, who I hadn't had much contact with other than at work for a short period, it was with great difficulty that I got the money back.

I don't know where people get the amount of money they think I have, they must think I look like a bank...

Who likes having to borrow money? Unless you are a loan shark and lend with collateral where the risk is almost zero, why lend money where you end up with a loss? 'cause in addition to no one paying you with interest, most never pay you on time, at least you will get your money back after repeated charges.

Some people even go so far as to ask me to borrow money for what? to bet!! What a joke. I answer briefly and bluntly that I don't have the money to lend for these purposes!

And the worst thing is that they ask me for small amounts, like $2, 5, 10$... I think that if the person doesn't have that money now, the chances of them getting that money to pay you are low. If the person is in need, it's easier for them to confess right away to see what I can do, because I'm not a bad person.

Do you usually lend money to relatives, friends, etc.? Have you ever felt bad about it, done it unwillingly?

And when they are female friends, do you lend them?

I prevent myself from lending anyone because I believe that instead of lending them I rather give them small amount to help in their troubles .

[Z_MBFM]

These days I've grown to categorize everyone as the same when it comes to loaning people money for whatsoever reasons and I've only come into the conclusion never to loan someone else an amount of money that I cannot afford to lose forever but rather to loan out funds that I can instead afford to let go when I have to.

This may be peculiar to my own environment or society but many people here do not know how to refund borrowed funds regardless of their relationship with you and they have to make you go into hell before you get a repayment or refund of your money from them. Hence, my decision not to allow anyone kill my budgets or finances.

I see that you are on the right side of this due to the safety you plan to achieve by giving out only a few amount of money that you'll be able to lose. Whenever handing out such loans erupts giving out is fine but going for the money would be quite very stressful. Due to the purpose of the player who took the loan. Gambling is not certain, that is going to be enough reason why handing out an amount enough to cause you sleepless night is not advisable. I don't think it's peculiar only to your society, most people still find it difficult to pay back even when they have the money. Not to talk of gamblers. It has to be a psychological effect, happens to lots of people.

For gamblers to gamble excessively, they are deprived of their normal behavior potential thinking because at that time they like gambling so much that they would do anything for it.  When gamblers end up losing their money, they turn to loans.  First they start borrowing from friends and then from relatives.But when they lose by using the loan money to gamble, they can no longer repay the loan money. so gamblers should not lend money no matter how good they are. Be sure to avoid gambling addicts when lending money, or if you lend money to them, don't expect to get the money back.

[TopTort777]

People who lend money, lets check out how greedy you are When you land money, do you expect the same amount in return of want to get something extra? And if you lend money for gambling, do you expect given amount in return, or percent of a win? In case you lend 100 bucks and a guy wins a million, you expect 100 or more ? Such question appeared because I have remembered the case when couple split after they won in a lottery, but cant share the prize, because guy purchased lottery ticket with chicks money

You make me remember with that thread.

I believe he will demand more than $100, but the winner will be stingy and say all the winnings come from him, not from you. If he won $100K, he might only want to give $200 and say it's already a good amount, I've doubled your money.

The conclusion is, either his friend can or can't pay off his debt, their friendship will be ruined.

Honestly speaking, if I would won a lot of money with borrowed money, I would split it half. That is not just for a forum and to look like a that good. I believe in karma and luck. If with someones help I succeed or achieve something that is hard to achieve, I am always a generous in reward matter. I find it fair to do, and I find money to be just a resource and not something to live for and be greedy. Maybe this is partly connects "with easy come easy go". Partly because I would not spend amount won back in gambling. Some people say that I am easy with lending money, and complain that sometimes I must learn to say "no". But that is not me. If I see that money can help, I lend. If this is for gambling. I will also lend, but talk about the return date. If person needs money now, them from my vision it is better to give and not postpone things for tomorrow or until next time.

[sompitonov]

It has become increasingly common for friends and not-so-close "friends" to come and ask me to borrow money. I don't usually ask for the purpose, but some ask me because of betting at online houses.

The last time I lent money to a colleague, who I hadn't had much contact with other than at work for a short period, it was with great difficulty that I got the money back.

I don't know where people get the amount of money they think I have, they must think I look like a bank...

Who likes having to borrow money? Unless you are a loan shark and lend with collateral where the risk is almost zero, why lend money where you end up with a loss? 'cause in addition to no one paying you with interest, most never pay you on time, at least you will get your money back after repeated charges.

Some people even go so far as to ask me to borrow money for what? to bet!! What a joke. I answer briefly and bluntly that I don't have the money to lend for these purposes!

And the worst thing is that they ask me for small amounts, like $2, 5, 10$... I think that if the person doesn't have that money now, the chances of them getting that money to pay you are low. If the person is in need, it's easier for them to confess right away to see what I can do, because I'm not a bad person.

Do you usually lend money to relatives, friends, etc.? Have you ever felt bad about it, done it unwillingly?

And when they are female friends, do you lend them?

I have borrowed money many times in my life, even since my student days when it was scarce. One of his fellow students always liked to drink a lot of beer, and then he was looking for someone to borrow from to continue his fun, but he always repaid, but at one point he did not repay this debt. I want to say that in gambling this moment will come much earlier, because the player will not be able to win all the time and the moment will come when he will lose everything and even his debts. This is a very common occurrence in gambling and there is nothing surprising here, he simply believed in his chosenness and was mistaken.

I want to say that I have never been repaid a debt twice in my life, and this was enough to never lend money to anyone again under any circumstances, even the most serious ones. I just made this rule for myself, now no one contacts me. As for friends, if she doesn’t want to communicate after this, I don’t mind, then this friend was not my friend at all.

[TopTort777]

I want to say that I have never been repaid a debt twice in my life, and this was enough to never lend money to anyone again under any circumstances, even the most serious ones. I just made this rule for myself, now no one contacts me. As for friends, if she doesn’t want to communicate after this, I don’t mind, then this friend was not my friend at all.

You must be lucky that you have revealed a fake friend and person would never bother you again. I can always earn that money you have lended, but that person will never regain your trust. And you will always have an ace in you hole against him. In fact, you can manipulate with that. That worth more than money you have lended. Like people say "gamble only money you can afford to lose", same refers to lending. So this imho isnt the case when you "never lend money anymore". Turn that into purchased advantage. Be more strategic.

[Lucius]

It has become increasingly common for friends and not-so-close "friends" to come and ask me to borrow money. I don't usually ask for the purpose, but some ask me because of betting at online houses.
The last time I lent money to a colleague, who I hadn't had much contact with other than at work for a short period, it was with great difficulty that I got the money back.
I don't know where people get the amount of money they think I have, they must think I look like a bank...
~snip~

It's not the fault of the people who ask you for money, it's your fault that you let them know that you have money and that you share it like candy without any major problems - and like little children who learn from whom to ask for candy, your "friends" come to ask you for money.

If you think that the only problem is that they ask you for money, I hope that you will not experience that you will find yourself in a situation where someone will force you to give them money. Sometimes even good people react completely unpredictably when they become addicted, be it to gambling, drugs or alcohol.