Is it Ideal for parents to demand rent from their child who stays with them?

[Accardo]

My question stems from a 2023 article of a woman who charged her daughter $75 per month to add to their bills since she now works.

Generally, working-class children who stay with their parents do so to be able to save up enough money to start a fresh journey in life. Although it's still cheap to contribute to the bills like paying rent, buying groceries, etc compared to when they live outside their parent's house. But, young people like the girl in the article find it outrageous. Going through the article I saw responses from parents who admit they do the same thing. Do you think it's fine as a parent to demand bills such as rent from your working-class child because s/he stays in your house?

https://www.boredpanda.com/daughter-angry-mom-increases-contribution-to-bills/

N/B: this thread is not exactly what happened in the article above.

[Peanutswar]

Base on my experience I agree with this because at least you can help each other if you tried to calculate the expenses if you will go outside the custody of your parents you will see it's more expensive than living with them at least you can make a saving if you will live with them but of course it has a cons and prons. If you are still dependent with them you will not grow on your self make a decision on your own, do on your own of course it seems you are being dependent because they will notice most of your activities but the expenses is less and you can make a savings until you can make to survive now at your own.

[Nwada001]

From what I read in the article, the child is not directly paying for the rent; the mother is just asking her to pay that amount every month in order to support the family. Aside from the discount that they are already getting from her workplace, it's a small amount compared to what the child earns in a month, and if I'm in her position, I will not complain about it. 
 
In some families, if the child is already earning a salary that is enough to cover family expenses, he or she doesn't have to wait for the parent to request money before they can start assisting the family. Some will even ask the parent to stop paying rent and use the money for other things. It's just a matter of self-decision. If you are to talk about legality, the girl is off-aga and is entitled to pay her own bills where necessary.

[Charles-Tim]

The child is working and living with his or her parent. Even without the parent demanding for anything, he or she needs to be useful. At least he can be paying for electricity bill or house rent. As long as he or she is working, he needs to contribute to everything that is going on in the family.

[Solosanz]

Poor mommy, she should kick her daughter out since her daughter didn't even want to give $75 when she earn $800 per month. If she thinks $75 is really big, she should go out from her parents house and then try to find a place which only cost $75 per month, I'm sure she will never find it since property is getting scarce.

The daughter should be grateful, if she live in Asian countries, she will be forced to send $600 to the family and do anything to live with the rest money.

[knowngunman]

In some families, if the child is already earning a salary that is enough to cover family expenses, he or she doesn't have to wait for the parent to request money before they can start assisting the family. Some will even ask the parent to stop paying rent and use the money for other things. It's just a matter of self-decision. If you are to talk about legality, the girl is off-aga and is entitled to pay her own bills where necessary.

Exactly my thought as well. Moreover, it's not a matter of some family, it is what every responsible child should be doing as far as they have start earning a reasonable amount. Although,  things like this depends on the condition of one's family. Some families who are doing good might not pay attention to issues like this but families surviving with a limited resource will definitely consider the child paying some part of the bill. Regardless, as a working class child earning decent amount, it's expected to be a helping hand to one's family.

As the way Op put it, it's not ideal for parents to demand rent from their child if they stay together unless the child is willing to pay. In as much as responsible child will do what is necessary of him, it is the responsibility of the parent to cater for the children if there's means irrespective of their class until they can not longer do so at their old age and then reverse will be the case.

[franky1]

at 18 parents are not getting the child welfare benefits(social security) so parents income decreased when she finished school and turned 18, so they need to teach her what being an adult is like by asking her to help out the family costs

paying a regular amount gives the young adult a (cushioned)experience of real life bills.. adults living on own cant escape bills.. so yes she should pay something, even a cushioned smaller amount, just to get used to the idea of being a responsible adult

in the UK if she lived with her BF he would want 50% of real life bills so he would be demanding ALOT more than £75 a month from her. he would be asking for £400 a month+ just for 50% of the household bills living as a couple

she should not think that the old £50 a month (+grocery discount for retail staff) as just £50 a month but that she was paying £100 but that got discounted to £50 due to the family discount on grocerys, and now not entitled to the grocery discount because she chose to only want to work the hours her BF works at the new job.. instead of paying the full £100, the parents are still only asking for £75 which is still cheaper than moving in with the BF

the important lessons to learn is that she gets to experience real life(cushioned) of not getting to waste 100% of income(like some entitled child) but have some of that income having to pay bills expected of adults.. if she is having a tantrum over £25 increase then she will certainly not cope if she moved in with BF or definitely not cope if she moved in a home as a single person

imagine the entitlement tantrums she would have if she never experienced having to pay anything, and then suddenly having to pay true costs if she moved in with BF or on her own..

it has been many decades since i moved out from family home, but even i now thank/appreciate my family for their economic education and even back then it was more then £75 a month 'rent' in family home, and my income was less than £800 a month

what the parents should do is actually sit the young lady down infront of a spreadsheet and show her what all the real cost of household bills are and divide it by 3 (2 parents and her) to show how much living in that house actually costs each person. and then she will realise that her parents are giving her a cushioned experience of bill paying, not an excessive experience

[goldkingcoiner]

If the child is making money then that child should want to help pay the bills, especially after experiencing what work is like. Otherwise that child is simply spoiled rotten. On the other hand, forcing a child that does not want to pay rent to hand over cash will not teach them the value of money, as many parents hope it will, and I think it is a misguided attempt at parenting.

[Hatchy]

N/B: this thread is not exactly what happened in the article above.

A reasonable child who understands how hard it is to provide for the whole family might use his own disgretion to try in any mean to support his family. But then asking the child directly to pay for rent or something is illogical to me and no one would be happy with much parents. As a child, even now I'm an adult, I'm still fully welcomed to stay at my parents hux any time without paying a dime, I can at least support for something like electricity bills, a special dinner or any special occasion with money but then never has my parents requested I do anything for the family. Though they are advanced in age, but they still try their best to take care of the bills at home.

[Findingnemo]

My question stems from a 2023 article of a woman who charged her daughter $75 per month to add to their bills since she now works.

Generally, working-class children who stay with their parents do so to be able to save up enough money to start a fresh journey in life. Although it's still cheap to contribute to the bills like paying rent, buying groceries, etc compared to when they live outside their parent's house. But, young people like the girl in the article find it outrageous. Going through the article I saw responses from parents who admit they do the same thing. Do you think it's fine as a parent to demand bills such as rent from your working-class child because s/he stays in your house?

https://www.boredpanda.com/daughter-angry-mom-increases-contribution-to-bills/

N/B: this thread is not exactly what happened in the article above.

I guess this is about the parent teaching the responsibility to their child and I don't find it's outrageous, if she is making money then she must be an adult considering the fact you mentioned working so why not contribute to the bills if you can. It's certainly better than living all by ourselves where we have to more for the rent and if you ask me then I would say ask them to pay for everything they consume which includes electricity, groceries, water and anything else.

If the same comment made by a son and refused to contribute the world will definitely see him worse.

[Accardo]

From what I read in the article, the child is not directly paying for the rent; the mother is just asking her to pay that amount every month in order to support the family.

You are right, that was why I stated clearly below my post that the write-up is not exactly what happened. I added rent to it because it's part of household bills.

On the other hand, forcing a child that does not want to pay rent to hand over cash will not teach them the value of money, as many parents hope it will, and I think it is a misguided attempt at parenting.

I thought about that, the child should choose how to spend on the household. The monetary contribution shouldn't be a rule. Allowing her to take it upon herself is much more helpful than forcing it on the child. It'll also be a relief to the parents to see their child taking up responsibilities without being reminded or forced. Sadly, some adults wouldn't take action if their parents don't put the bills on them.

[Wiwo]

The child is working and living with his or her parent. Even without the parent demanding for anything, he or she needs to be useful. At least he can be paying for electricity bill or house rent. As long as he or she is working, he needs to contribute to everything that is going on in the family.

You are right, with the notion to support the parents, but the question we may have forget to ask if the parent are leaving in a rented apartment or they own they home, if it a rented apartment, that means it justifiable to charge the child for something out of the monthly salary, and as long as the child is above 18 and working they should be made to pay for their space and electricity even they own feeding too.

But if the house is own by the parent, then the child can only play a supportive role, just like you said, he she can choose to take care of the electricity bills or even water, but not to pay for rent because it's the right of the parent to give children shelter until they grow enough to own their own house.

[Marykeller]

When the said girl was unemployed before becoming the working-class lady she is now, there wasn't a time her mum gave her an estimation of what she would be paying for the upkeep and running of the family. Everything was on her mum to cater for her and other of her siblings(if she had).

Now, things have changed(she is working), and her mum asking for monthly support doesn't sound bad. At least it will cut down the expenses leveled on a single being(her mum).

[yudi09]

No. As a parent, it is unethical for me to ask for money from my child even though the child has already got a job that pays. The pattern of parenting towards children starts from childhood until they become adults. If there is a mistake in educating, then the child's behavior will also not be as expected.

Parents are tasked with raising children by giving all forms of affection in addition to trying to provide all their basic needs. That is a responsibility.

A good child from a good upbringing process will care about his parents. Logically, it is like our parents to us. Even though we have earned a decent living from our jobs, I personally have never been asked by them but I am the one who gives it to them.

[avikz]

My question stems from a 2023 article of a woman who charged her daughter $75 per month to add to their bills since she now works.

Generally, working-class children who stay with their parents do so to be able to save up enough money to start a fresh journey in life. Although it's still cheap to contribute to the bills like paying rent, buying groceries, etc compared to when they live outside their parent's house. But, young people like the girl in the article find it outrageous. Going through the article I saw responses from parents who admit they do the same thing. Do you think it's fine as a parent to demand bills such as rent from your working-class child because s/he stays in your house?

https://www.boredpanda.com/daughter-angry-mom-increases-contribution-to-bills/

N/B: this thread is not exactly what happened in the article above.

I think it's very much needed everywhere. The problem with young working class people is - they don't understand the value of money. They expect everything to be provided free by their parents. It's important to set right expectations.

75 USD a month is not a high amount. But it is enough to teach the right lesson about the value of money. It also helps them to understand the value of savings in life.

[cabron]

75$ is a small amount. Just think of it as a contribution to her stay in the house besides it's her mom anyway. It's going to help her mom to be stress-free. I'd be glad to be with my parents still cooking me omelets in the morning.  

You'd be surprised to see how Asians love their parents so much that some of them at age 45 still want their mom to live with them for free. Their parents even want their kids to marry and bring their partners with them in the house and live with them while the parents still serve their grandkids. We have different cultures though.

[AbuBhakar]

This topic is always debatable depending on what kind of family orientation you grown. There’s no right and wrong here because there’s always a good reason for both possible argument on this topic.

Personally, If I see my daughter lazy on her life like she doesn’t have future goals then I’m fine doing this to teach respect not to gain money from her. This method sometimes teach children to grow up on the reality of life. Some parents can’t comprehend this because we have different financial status and family orientation when we grow.

Some are born rich/softy family while others was born on harsh environment that’s why they resort to different method just to teach their child to become a responsible adult.

[Roseline492]

My question stems from a 2023 article of a woman who charged her daughter $75 per month to add to their bills since she now works.

Generally, working-class children who stay with their parents do so to be able to save up enough money to start a fresh journey in life. Although it's still cheap to contribute to the bills like paying rent, buying groceries, etc compared to when they live outside their parent's house. But, young people like the girl in the article find it outrageous. Going through the article I saw responses from parents who admit they do the same thing. Do you think it's fine as a parent to demand bills such as rent from your working-class child because s/he stays in your house?

https://www.boredpanda.com/daughter-angry-mom-increases-contribution-to-bills/

N/B: this thread is not exactly what happened in the article above.

Well before answering, the first question should be that is the parents financially stable? Because if they are financially stable there shouldn't be any need of requesting there child to pay some parts of there house rent or perhaps people have different mentality of building there children to become an independent person because it could be that the only reason why some parents will demand for such thing is to get there attention on what they would be facing after they start leaving on there own, so actually I believe that's the reasons most parents will do that because I have also witnessed a case were a man has a big company and refuses to employes any of his children all because he wanted them to go out and look for work themselves so that they would understand what hard work is all about.

[Juse14]

Even though I don't have a family yet and am far from my parents, I can try to understand both sides of this situation... In some light, requesting a child who is already in employment to contribute to rent perhaps may be seen as having an aspect of teaching them about financial responsibility and availing the experience of managing money, before they can acquire true independence

However, on the other hand, for working-class children, living with their parents is often an opportunity to save and prepare for the future. If they are asked to pay significant rent or bills, this can reduce their chances of saving.

Maybe, there should be an open dialogue of who the parents are with their children surrounding their financial goals, that way, they can come to a fair and supportive agreement. The kids can share their future plans while the parents explain why they are demanding contributions.

[DeathAngel]

It’s a good way of getting them used to budgeting & paying bills. When your kid gets a job, charging them & little money for rent teaches them a good lesson. If you don’t need the money & you provide for them comfortably then maybe invest the money each month on their behalf without telling them. Then you could surprise them with the money years later.