Is it Ideal for parents to demand rent from their child who stays with them?

[cryptoWODL]

What I realized after visiting the link you mentioned is that the eighteen year old girl's mother just asked her to pay extra for help. There is no reason to be angry or upset because every parent wants their children to help their family financially while establishing or employment. That is the duty of children.

The cost of living is affecting every family especially the increase in the prices of the things we need to live has created discomfort among people. The price of every commodity has almost doubled along with electricity bill, gas bill, house rent along with food and clothing prices are increasing day by day. OP In your mentioned post the amount of money a mother asks her daughter to pay to help her family seems small to me because we have to pay more money to help the family in Asia continent countries. If a son of a family works, he is obliged to spend about 70% of his salary on the family. He can keep the remaining 30% for himself.

[P3Key]

Well, culturally speaking, in Asian household, there is no such thing like paying rent to your parents. You can still live with your parents until you get married. Even some people will bring their parents to live with them after they get married.

With this kind of habit, children who already got a job usually give sum amount of their salary to their parents eventho some of their parents never make that as a responsibility to their children.

You might argue with this statement, but I'm talking about most of Asian household, not all, but most of them.

[lizarder]

Generally, working-class children who stay with their parents do so to be able to save up enough money to start a fresh journey in life. Although it's still cheap to contribute to the bills like paying rent, buying groceries, etc compared to when they live outside their parent's house. But, young people like the girl in the article find it outrageous. Going through the article I saw responses from parents who admit they do the same thing. Do you think it's fine as a parent to demand bills such as rent from your working-class child because s/he stays in your house?

In my place of residence this is very unusual because the habit of parents giving the house to their daughters is not the other way around asking for bills like that. Maybe the culture or life in the area is different so that parents ask for bills for their children who live at home but this does not apply in my area. Generally parents help their children's process to develop their potential in making money and usually they will provide capital or a way for the child to achieve financial freedom.

Honestly, I have just heard of parents asking for bills from their children who live at home and have never heard of anything like this before. Whatever the reason, parents ask their children to pay the bill, in my opinion, it is not a normal behavior or life for us, especially if the child is a girl like in the article.

[Solosanz]

Well, culturally speaking, in Asian household, there is no such thing like paying rent to your parents. You can still live with your parents until you get married. Even some people will bring their parents to live with them after they get married.

With this kind of habit, children who already got a job usually give sum amount of their salary to their parents eventho some of their parents never make that as a responsibility to their children.

You might argue with this statement, but I'm talking about most of Asian household, not all, but most of them.

It's true, but that just worse than the Western culture.

It's better for the children to pay rent and utilities bills rather than taking full responsibility to feed the whole family when you're still financially struggle. With this culture, it's getting harder and harder to change your life.

That's why the gap difference between the poor and the rich in Asian countries is really far compared to The West.

[Gallar]

~Snip

I think this depends on the situation and condition of the parents. For example, if the parents are well off, in my opinion it would be better for such parents not to burden their children with bills like that. Because as you said, young people have their own goals and aspirations. Therefore, if, for example, parents have sufficient financial conditions, then they should be able to support their child's progress, one of which is by not burdening their child's finances. In fact, it would be better if, for example, rich parents provided additional capital to their children. Because this will have a better impact in enabling their children to progress and be more successful financially. However, if for example the parents have a slight financial shortage while the children they have are adults and already working, in my opinion there is nothing wrong if the parents ask their children for a little money. Because no matter what the circumstances, parents must always pay attention to their children. So in this condition it is considered normal for parents to ask their children for money.

[TheUltraElite]

From where I come from, children once they grow up and are able to earn a living, provide a part of their income to the family's need to spend in essential stuff, similar to a "rent" and that is all done in goodwill, there is no coercion involved, no angry mother shouting at them.

It is like a moment of pride for the kid, being able to provide for their family and is similar to a rite of passage for them. Parents are able to provide their pension to help the kids settle, get married and help their family grow. It is a mutual understanding and it is better than the West, in my opinion.

Of course the situation might not be same in many countries and I blame their system for that, not individual families or parents.

[Dunamisx]

My question stems from a 2023 article of a woman who charged her daughter $75 per month to add to their bills since she now works.

Its not a right, but some conditions can warrant for the parent to make a demand from her daughter to help so, first is when the mother is a widow and leaving under a tight financial condition and have unstable financial income, or when she experience a drop in her financial means suddenly and its affect the flow of income and no one could help or assist in that case, if her daughter is in the best position to do so, then she may not have to demand before receiving such help from her, except if their relationship is not that clean enough, but the mother can also make demand in case of priorities over other things the daughter may be using her money for, all these will have to depend on the understanding they both have on each other.

[Jody.Drummer]

Well, culturally speaking, in Asian household, there is no such thing like paying rent to your parents. You can still live with your parents until you get married. Even some people will bring their parents to live with them after they get married.

With this kind of habit, children who already got a job usually give sum amount of their salary to their parents eventho some of their parents never make that as a responsibility to their children.

You might argue with this statement, but I'm talking about most of Asian household, not all, but most of them.

It's true, but that just worse than the Western culture.

It's better for the children to pay rent and utilities bills rather than taking full responsibility to feed the whole family when you're still financially struggle. With this culture, it's getting harder and harder to change your life.

That's why the gap difference between the poor and the rich in Asian countries is really far compared to The West.

The culture in each country or region is certainly different, including the culture in Asia and Europe. But what you said makes more sense to me, which is better to pay rent every month than to have to support the entire family, because it will cause obstacles in a person's financial growth. But the problem is when something is already attached and can even be said to be a culture, it will be difficult to let go. In my opinion, there must be awareness from both parents and children.

For example, in a case where a child who has worked never gives a penny to his parents, in my opinion that is also not wise, because even though they don't ask, as a child they must understand more and also let their parents feel the results of their child's hard work. Likewise, if the child gives them a little money that they get from their work, the parents must also understand so that they don't burden their children, because their children also need a future that they must prepare for. So it requires mutual understanding from both parties.

[Antotena]

My question stems from a 2023 article of a woman who charged her daughter $75 per month to add to their bills since she now works.

Generally, working-class children who stay with their parents do so to be able to save up enough money to start a fresh journey in life. Although it's still cheap to contribute to the bills like paying rent, buying groceries, etc compared to when they live outside their parent's house. But, young people like the girl in the article find it outrageous. Going through the article I saw responses from parents who admit they do the same thing. Do you think it's fine as a parent to demand bills such as rent from your working-class child because s/he stays in your house?

I don't think there is anything wrong when a child that has a source of income support their parent financially, whether they stay with them or not but it's not an obligation they must do it by force. I don't stay with my parents and that's because I chose not too but the financial assistance I gave them is bigger than if I decide to even stay with them, I can't be earning and doing well and then let my parent suffer, they never gave up on me when they were okay and I wouldn't give up on them too now that old age is here.

Parents that do this and make it official makes parenting even harder, the child they bill monthly never said they should be born to come help them offset bills. Such parents might not get respect and real love from their children because they have decided to put money before everything and it's very bad either working class or business minded.

[coolcoinz]

It depends on what my child does. Let's say my kid is 18 and studies while staying at home. I'd only demand some help with chores, taking out trash, vacuuming, simple things. I have a little daughter and if she wants to live at my house in her 20s, she'll always have a room here. It's as much her home as it is mine and I will never throw her out.

Now, let's say she finishes university and gets a well paid job. If I find out she's saving up for her own place I'd be happy to chip in so that she gets to move out sooner and start her own life. I wouldn't want to delay things for her by asking her to pay the bills. If she wants to to it of her own will that's fine too.

The only situation where I'd want money from her is if I saw she has a lot and wastes it. Buys expensive designer clothes, goes clubbing, eats out all the time, doesn't save up. I'd ask her to pay some bills so that I may save up for her. Let's hope she's smarter than this.

[Dr.Bitcoin_Strange]

There's a parable that my people always tell someone in certain situations, and the parable says, "You should use your tongue to count your teeth."

I am now relating this quote to this situation. Naturally,  most mothers go through a lot of stress in order to raise money that they can use to raise their kids and give them a better education, and the reason why mothers will do different things to make sure they raise their kids well is so that the kid can also grow to have money and take care of them where necessary. So, without the girl being told her responsibility to the family, she is supposed to be aware that she needs to contribute to the family too in order to lessen the stress or pressure of bills on her mom. That's where she needs to use her tongue and count her teeth. 

Even if she is staying alone, she will definitely spend more than $70 for house rent, upkeep, and body maintenance. So, her mom demanding some money from her for rent is not a big deal. 

[Kamustapo]

Do you think it's fine as a parent to demand bills such as rent from your working-class child because s/he stays in your house?

I do think it is fine for a parent to do that. Everything is expensive nowadays, it could help the children to understand the meaning of responsibility and how to be independent. In fact, as children it won't matter to pay the rent to your parent as you also helping them lift some burden a bit from your parents shoulder since everything is expensive nowadays. We gotta be realistic about what are we gonna face in the future and help our parents a bit because we will also be a parent one day and not every parents are rich.

[Coyster]

I think it is the duty of parents to put a roof over their childrens heads, without demanding any sort of help from them. That being said, it still depends on the condition of things in the said home, if the parents are struggling and failing to meet up with other bills, taxes and payments, then they are not completely out of order to request some form of assistance from their children, if they are currently working and earning something.

[hyudien]

My question stems from a 2023 article of a woman who charged her daughter $75 per month to add to their bills since she now works.

Generally, working-class children who stay with their parents do so to be able to save up enough money to start a fresh journey in life. Although it's still cheap to contribute to the bills like paying rent, buying groceries, etc compared to when they live outside their parent's house. But, young people like the girl in the article find it outrageous. Going through the article I saw responses from parents who admit they do the same thing. Do you think it's fine as a parent to demand bills such as rent from your working-class child because s/he stays in your house?

https://www.boredpanda.com/daughter-angry-mom-increases-contribution-to-bills/

N/B: this thread is not exactly what happened in the article above.

Do we need to count with our parents? As if we can reach the point of being able to work, earning money by ourselves since birth? No. Life does not always have to count, especially with parents, who carry you, give birth, raise you, struggle morning, noon and night just to be able to make you full before going to bed. Just imagine $75 feels heavy and as if it is unfair to them? I am even sure that no matter how much a child earns, if collected it will not be able to pay all the costs, the sweat and energy expended by parents since he was born until he became an adult and had a bright future. 
Come on, he should be lucky to still be able to see his parents even though he asked for a little of your income. There are people out there who are less fortunate because they were born when their mother and father were already dead. There's nothing wrong with fulfilling a wish for just $75.

[Fortify]

My question stems from a 2023 article of a woman who charged her daughter $75 per month to add to their bills since she now works.

Generally, working-class children who stay with their parents do so to be able to save up enough money to start a fresh journey in life. Although it's still cheap to contribute to the bills like paying rent, buying groceries, etc compared to when they live outside their parent's house. But, young people like the girl in the article find it outrageous. Going through the article I saw responses from parents who admit they do the same thing. Do you think it's fine as a parent to demand bills such as rent from your working-class child because s/he stays in your house?

https://www.boredpanda.com/daughter-angry-mom-increases-contribution-to-bills/

N/B: this thread is not exactly what happened in the article above.

It makes complete sense that parents should start charging their kids rent the longer they stay in the family home. The dynamics have definitely changed over the decades and it is a lot more expensive for young adults to move out now. Some choose to stay home and that could allow them to build up a house deposit instead of spending money on renting, but that is a long process too. There should definitely be a sliding scale when it comes to parents and encouraging their children to "leave the nest". Maybe for the first few years out of school/college/uni it could be free or minimal, as the years progress it would be better to raise it although still looking at less than market rents. It also depends on the financial situation of the parents who might actually need support themselves to run the household.

[P3Key]

Well, culturally speaking, in Asian household, there is no such thing like paying rent to your parents. You can still live with your parents until you get married. Even some people will bring their parents to live with them after they get married.

With this kind of habit, children who already got a job usually give sum amount of their salary to their parents eventho some of their parents never make that as a responsibility to their children.

You might argue with this statement, but I'm talking about most of Asian household, not all, but most of them.

It's true, but that just worse than the Western culture.

It's better for the children to pay rent and utilities bills rather than taking full responsibility to feed the whole family when you're still financially struggle. With this culture, it's getting harder and harder to change your life.

That's why the gap difference between the poor and the rich in Asian countries is really far compared to The West.

Bro, I was about to make Asian Household sounds better compared to the West. On a second thought, after I read your reply, you are correct , It is not better than the Western culture.
That's why the term of "sandwich generation" is very common nowadays in Asian countries, which you already explained. Now I realized that a lot of people around me are experiencing it. Sandwich generation is a term for people who are stuck between the responsibility to their families and our own financial problems which lead to some people might not be able to own anything for themselves while working 8-5 everyday nonstop.

[Hamza2424]

  I honestly wasn't expecting this kind of topic. To be frank, I'm not very familiar with Western cultures, but here in my culture, it's the norm for parents to take care of all your needs until you get married. In return, an ideal family lives together, where parents enjoy their grandchildren, and the new couple ensures their comfort. In my culture, parents make countless sacrifices for their children.

So, it's quite strange to hear that parents might even charge rent from their children. In my view, the sacrifices parents make throughout their lives for their children can only be repaid with love and by taking care of them in their old age.

Love your parents to have the love of your children. -Hamza2424

[Furious 7]

It depends on each person's or family's view I guess because after all it comes back to all the decisions of the family that they create so there will definitely be some differences in views on this.
I personally wouldn't say I agree or disagree with this because if it's for me and my small family then I wouldn't charge that because my children are my dependents especially when they are single so I wouldn't charge rent for my own flesh and blood. But it's a different story if the child is trying to reduce the burden by giving the allowance they get to help in some way such as paying for bills or just helping to provide food, I will not prohibit it because it is an initiative from my own child but to set the monthly fee I am not too willing to do that even though they already have an income.

But I also won't blame those who try to do that because it is also something that has been agreed upon by their family and we cannot intervene and consider this a mistake because this happens because of different views so both can still be done depending on which choice we want to do for the small family we have.

[justdimin]

In my place of residence this is very unusual because the habit of parents giving the house to their daughters is not the other way around asking for bills like that. Maybe the culture or life in the area is different so that parents ask for bills for their children who live at home but this does not apply in my area. Generally parents help their children's process to develop their potential in making money and usually they will provide capital or a way for the child to achieve financial freedom.

Honestly, I have just heard of parents asking for bills from their children who live at home and have never heard of anything like this before. Whatever the reason, parents ask their children to pay the bill, in my opinion, it is not a normal behavior or life for us, especially if the child is a girl like in the article.

Well the age depends on that in my culture. Meaning that if you are ages between 18 to 30, then in most cases you do not help your parents unless they need help, obviously if they need help then you will help because you live with them and they have financial issues so why wouldn't you help them. However, if they do not need help and you are under 30 then you are not going to help your parents since they are already taking care of it. But even if they are rich, if you go over 30 and you still live with them?

This is very very rare in most cases, then it means you start to help with stuff, it could be financial like paying the bills, or it could be basically taking care of the house, like cleaning, laundry, ironing, cooking etc etc, you need to help one way or another after that. Why that difference? Because before 30 they consider you as someone who is trying to get out, trying to build your own life, and they do not want to take a dime off you so you can save and start your life, but after 30 it's obvious that you aren't going anywhere so they start to consider you as staying forever.

[CryptopreneurBrainboss]

Why not, wouldn't they be paying the rent elsewhere if they weren't saying with their parents. They should pay the rent though I think it shouldn't be as outrageous as when they're staying on their own. The rent should be a sign of them not getting a handout because many youths aren't that serious with their lifes anymore. This generation are producing too many weak people and I just pray they can survive and continue the human race because the generation is lazy, has no hustling spirit just waiting on God to send them bread as he did to the Israelites.  All they do is be on social media from morning untill night and it's only a few of them that makes money from there.

Do you think it's fine as a parent to demand bills such as rent from your working-class child because s/he stays in your house?

If other parents won't, I'll when I get childs and they come of age to be out of my house to go live on their own but aren't doing that yet because I don't want to raise a dependent child, someone who has everything given to them for free then they don't know the value of money and how to hustle for their survival. I pray I don't have to asked them for rent though because they should be on their own when they're adults just as I did when I came of age to leave my parents house.