Is it Ideal for parents to demand rent from their child who stays with them?

[mirakal]

I don't say it's ideal for parents but let's say it's ideal for children who are now earning on their own to give back also from all the favors that their parents have put them to where they are right now. In fact, it's only a small favor in return to what their parents have done for them, but I guess not all children are open about this. Blessed are those parents who have responsible children that will voluntarily give even without asking them.

[AmoreJaz]

I don't say it's ideal for parents but let's say it's ideal for children who are now earning on their own to give back also from all the favors that their parents have put them to where they are right now. In fact, it's only a small favor in return to what their parents have done for them, but I guess not all children are open about this. Blessed are those parents who have responsible children that will voluntarily give even without asking them.

On my end, as a parent, I won't ask from my children to pay rent or any other bill expenses. That is, if I can afford it. But if I have no means, then, I would ask my kids to share if that's possible. But I won't oblige them to pay back.

But of course, being a responsible one is always best to instill with your kids. Not all the time that they have the parents to cuddle them. And once they have such mindset, you don't need to tell them to pay you for rent or anything, they will just give their share voluntarily, not because they feel obliged to but it is because the right thing to do.

[Accardo]

In return, an ideal family lives together, where parents enjoy their grandchildren, and the new couple ensures their comfort. In my culture, parents make countless sacrifices for their children.

In most cultures, the extended family structure is declining rapidly. I grew up in a nuclear family and had to visit my grandparents once a year. I didn't learn much from them because of the few moments we shared. Extended family lifestyle isn't rapid in my culture, as people assume it's not success.

On the other flip, they were wrong. I'm beginning to see the importance of living together with family members, aged and young. The kids learning from multiple adults in the family, breaks down the workload of child grooming for their father and mother. The family will also save money and food by sharing things in common. 

[fuguebtc]

I don't say it's ideal for parents but let's say it's ideal for children who are now earning on their own to give back also from all the favors that their parents have put them to where they are right now. In fact, it's only a small favor in return to what their parents have done for them, but I guess not all children are open about this. Blessed are those parents who have responsible children that will voluntarily give even without asking them.

On my end, as a parent, I won't ask from my children to pay rent or any other bill expenses. That is, if I can afford it. But if I have no means, then, I would ask my kids to share if that's possible. But I won't oblige them to pay back.

Depending on the circumstances, if our children are having financial difficulties or life is difficult, we will even try to help in any way, let alone take their money. But if they are irresponsible with their family, spend money lavishly outside with friends but always calculate with their family members, then they need to be taught life lessons.

In my opinion it all depends on their personality because I am also a father of 2 children and I think no parent wants to harm their child. We are willing to sacrifice everything for our children, even our lives, so demand for rent or any other expenses is not a big deal.
Even if we take their money, at the end of our lives, our assets will still be inherited to them. So I believe that parents who do so must have their reasons.

[franky1]

I don't say it's ideal for parents but let's say it's ideal for children who are now earning on their own to give back also from all the favors that their parents have put them to where they are right now. In fact, it's only a small favor in return to what their parents have done for them, but I guess not all children are open about this. Blessed are those parents who have responsible children that will voluntarily give even without asking them.

On my end, as a parent, I won't ask from my children to pay rent or any other bill expenses. That is, if I can afford it. But if I have no means, then, I would ask my kids to share if that's possible. But I won't oblige them to pay back.

you as a parent have the role to teach your kids how to be responsible. this includes teaching your kids how to survive in the real world when they leave home. one of those lessons is how to be responsible over money and bills.. otherwise you end up raising an entitled brat that thinks bank of mom&dad will bail them out every time they make a mistake

after all in the real world, mortgage providers and landlords will make your kids pay them to live in the home. so you should teach them this lesson without penalty of courts


many entitled brats end up getting a crap job just to afford them their social life, because they know their parents will pay the real costs of living. and when its time to move out on their own, due to a crap job they end up asking you to be the guarantor of the lease/mortgage. and they end up not paying the bills as they know you will bail them out

so for your own safety, teach them about paying bills, else have them begging you for money for the rest of your life with them always thinking you owe them a certain lifestyle at no cost to them

of course you dont have to charge them the full cost. but even a small sentimental amount, just to teach them responsibility and regularity of bills is a start.. what you could do is if you want to play the 'but i can afford it, i wont obligate them" is to make it a voluntary/no penalty request and then keep the money aside and then later in life gift it back to them for some special occasion..

..

[kryptqnick]

Parents have a financial obligation to provide for their children until the age of 18. From 18, they are no longer children but are considered adults in most countries. So it's an adult living with you, and then it depends on your relations. I think it's better to support your children while you can, especially to help them get financially better off and, if possible, obtain higher education. But if the 18-year-old has no such aspirations and has a job, then I think it depends on whether it's your parents' flat or they are renting. Basically, if it's about splitting the payments that parents are paying (utilities, rent if they are renting), that makes sense. If parents are charging rent from their child, that's a weird relationship.

[Oluwa-btc]

Base on my experience I agree with this because at least you can help each other if you tried to calculate the expenses if you will go outside the custody of your parents you will see it's more expensive than living with them at least you can make a saving if you will live with them but of course it has a cons and prons. If you are still dependent with them you will not grow on your self make a decision on your own, do on your own of course it seems you are being dependent because they will notice most of your activities but the expenses is less and you can make a savings until you can make to survive now at your own.

I agree to this and I think the parents are trying to make her see the reality of life,cause definitely if you're off their roof you will do same by paying rent and other bills as well.

One one side I feel it's ideal,so they learn to be independent and not always want everything free while in their roof but on a second thoughts I think it's not proper to have collected such rent bills from her amidst she working,and if they choose to do that probably they did that to manage how she spent her money,cause some grown adults are  something else when it comes to spending money anyhow.
So giving them that strict adherence to pay rent under their parents roof is one discipline act to condone their excesses.

[barisbilgili]

Parents have a financial obligation to provide for their children until the age of 18. From 18, they are no longer children but are considered adults in most countries. So it's an adult living with you, and then it depends on your relations. I think it's better to support your children while you can, especially to help them get financially better off and, if possible, obtain higher education. But if the 18-year-old has no such aspirations and has a job, then I think it depends on whether it's your parents' flat or they are renting. Basically, if it's about splitting the payments that parents are paying (utilities, rent if they are renting), that makes sense. If parents are charging rent from their child, that's a weird relationship.

If it is made an obligation, it is indeed very strange because children and parents should have a closer relationship that must help each other. And I think it's all about the conditions being faced, if the child is unable then emotionally the parents will help and vice versa when the child is successful or earns his own income then he will help his parents in everything even children with good education will give to their parents even without being asked so indeed for this matter between families there is no awkwardness and responsibility, everything will run by itself depending on the education of the parents and there is no obligation here.
I agree as you said.

[tabas]

It varies per culture and there are differences in each country that we live in. But this is one way of teaching our kids to be responsible if they're already working and they have some profit with their grits. In a society where family is the first one in most of all and a priority, as a parent, I'll just teach my kid how to be responsible with her money. Teaching how to save, and how to invest, and if out of goodwill wanting to give back, I'd be happy to accept it. Paying rent is one of the realities of living and when our kids are grown up, they have to deal with it wherever they go. And out of it, they can have an idea that renting is a good business as well so, we and them have to look outside of the box for them to analyze and realize these realities.

[Republikcoin.com]

If it is made an obligation, it is indeed very strange because children and parents should have a closer relationship that must help each other. And I think it's all about the conditions being faced, if the child is unable then emotionally the parents will help and vice versa when the child is successful or earns his own income then he will help his parents in everything even children with good education will give to their parents even without being asked so indeed for this matter between families there is no awkwardness and responsibility, everything will run by itself depending on the education of the parents and there is no obligation here.
I agree as you said.

The family relationship between a child and his own parents will never be broken at any time even though the child has built another family in his own life. However, there will still be a sense of responsibility and also helping each other when there is a difficulty that occurs in life so I will never be surprised by such a thing because it should be so. Because if a child lets his parents have difficulties, that is a very disobedient child and vice versa so that helping each other between children and parents will continue as long as the parents are still alive.

[Lanatsa]

If it is made an obligation, it is indeed very strange because children and parents should have a closer relationship that must help each other. And I think it's all about the conditions being faced, if the child is unable then emotionally the parents will help and vice versa when the child is successful or earns his own income then he will help his parents in everything even children with good education will give to their parents even without being asked so indeed for this matter between families there is no awkwardness and responsibility, everything will run by itself depending on the education of the parents and there is no obligation here.
I agree as you said.

The family relationship between a child and his own parents will never be broken at any time even though the child has built another family in his own life. However, there will still be a sense of responsibility and also helping each other when there is a difficulty that occurs in life so I will never be surprised by such a thing because it should be so. Because if a child lets his parents have difficulties, that is a very disobedient child and vice versa so that helping each other between children and parents will continue as long as the parents are still alive.

But we do know in todays reality that there are those kids or children that didnt tend to look up into their parents on the time that they had build up on their own which is really that a sad situation.
Come to think that you wont really be able to achieve such success in life if not because of your parents who had raised you well and able to provide all the things you do need on the time that you are still
young until you had become that independent. It is really just that right that we should be that thanking them and showing up gratitude into their sacrifices and not really just that easily forget and dump
them on the time or moment that you had made your life whether successful or really just that average. It would really be that just that too shameful for those children who had abandoned their parents.

As for obligations then its not something that you are being forced by your parents but at least this is something which is really that understandable or something that should really be done
specially if we are really that still on their side. Even if we do have our own family then we do still have those obligations on which at least we do still show care up into our parents.
It would really be that best that you should really have that kind of values rather than on the other side.

[lovesmayfamilis]

Didn't parents raise and educate their children so that they could have a good life? They did everything necessary for the children, but when the time comes for the children to become independent in terms of providing for themselves, no matter where they live, they must help their parents. This is the worldview that is being brought up in my country. I think it is very fair. Calling ordinary help to parents, rent sounds too rude. The family is always based on mutual assistance. One day, the children helping their parents will also grow old, and their children will help them. This is the most normal human attitude of children toward their parents. Unfortunately, not everyone thinks so and throws their children out of the family, like animals from a pack, or children abandon their elderly parents.

[Hanadawa]

In return, an ideal family lives together, where parents enjoy their grandchildren, and the new couple ensures their comfort. In my culture, parents make countless sacrifices for their children.
So, it's quite strange to hear that parents might even charge rent from their children. In my view, the sacrifices parents make throughout their lives for their children can only be repaid with love and by taking care of them in their old age.

It seems like we have the same culture. In my country, parents make great sacrifices. They fulfill your needs until you get married. And even after you get married, they still try to help you. If they have difficulties, they almost never tell you and ask for your help. But in my culture, it is also taught that a child must be devoted to his parents. As a child, we must take care of our parents as they took care of us when we were little. I have never seen parents asking for rent for their house. But as a child, we must be able to help them, at least pay the bills or whatever is needed at home.

[Darker45]

Not demand, but it's perfectly all right for parents to talk about sharing expenses with their single and working children. That's perfectly fine with me. But it shouldn't be imposed on the children. The children shouldn't feel that staying with their parents is financially burdensome. However, if the parents are having a hard time and yet the working children staying with them don't seem to feel it and won't even contribute a little, I guess it's just fair to open the discussion with them and be frank about sharing household bills.

I guess much of this concern is cultural. And it's also highly relative to the relationship within the family as well as their financial situation.

[mamesso]

I don't want to call it a monthly bill, but the money will be used for shared needs. Parents always try to give the best for their children, but as a child who is already working, they also need to help reduce the burden on the family. Maybe the child is not very open with his mother or is too stingy in spending money, the parent's patience begins to run out when he needs money but the child does not take the initiative to lighten his burden.
If he lives outside or rents a boarding house, he will spend more money than what his parents charge. So what the parents did was not too excessive because it depended on the sensitivity of the child to how far they wanted to help their parents.

[avp2306]

Parents have a financial obligation to provide for their children until the age of 18. From 18, they are no longer children but are considered adults in most countries. So it's an adult living with you, and then it depends on your relations. I think it's better to support your children while you can, especially to help them get financially better off and, if possible, obtain higher education. But if the 18-year-old has no such aspirations and has a job, then I think it depends on whether it's your parents' flat or they are renting. Basically, if it's about splitting the payments that parents are paying (utilities, rent if they are renting), that makes sense. If parents are charging rent from their child, that's a weird relationship.

If it is made an obligation, it is indeed very strange because children and parents should have a closer relationship that must help each other. And I think it's all about the conditions being faced, if the child is unable then emotionally the parents will help and vice versa when the child is successful or earns his own income then he will help his parents in everything even children with good education will give to their parents even without being asked so indeed for this matter between families there is no awkwardness and responsibility, everything will run by itself depending on the education of the parents and there is no obligation here.
I agree as you said.

If the children is capable then why not right? beside he's not spending his money on strangers. With doing such thing he make sure that everything is fine in his parent side. Maybe they should not think about it since at the end if you love your parents for sure you will not care about those things but rather you voluntarily give money to your parents.

Although its not our obligation to repay our parents on the efforts they have done to us. But as humans and loving child we must do all to secure them and they don't face any difficulties in life. Although its hard but if we love our parents for sure more blessing will come in our side.

I know some people think that they should live independently and live their life the fullest, but as a responsible person for sure we cannot take to see our parent struggle.

[legendbtc]

In return, an ideal family lives together, where parents enjoy their grandchildren, and the new couple ensures their comfort. In my culture, parents make countless sacrifices for their children.
So, it's quite strange to hear that parents might even charge rent from their children. In my view, the sacrifices parents make throughout their lives for their children can only be repaid with love and by taking care of them in their old age.

It seems like we have the same culture. In my country, parents make great sacrifices. They fulfill your needs until you get married. And even after you get married, they still try to help you. If they have difficulties, they almost never tell you and ask for your help. But in my culture, it is also taught that a child must be devoted to his parents. As a child, we must take care of our parents as they took care of us when we were little. I have never seen parents asking for rent for their house. But as a child, we must be able to help them, at least pay the bills or whatever is needed at home.

This is the common culture of human beings, even animals, there is no parent who does not sacrifice for their children. There are only a few heartless people but that is not worth mentioning.

Just because some parents ask to share household expenses with their children does not mean they do not love their children or are not willing to sacrifice for them. Maybe they are having financial difficulties and cannot continue to maintain so it is understandable that they ask to share the costs with their children. Or their children are heartless, stingy and dependent...we need to know exactly their situation, don't rush to judge when we are not in their situation.

I have seen many cases where parents spend their whole life sacrificing for their children, but when they earn money, the children do not want to take care of their parents. Only children are unfilial to their parents, no parents abandon their children.

[Ruttoshi]

My question stems from a 2023 article of a woman who charged her daughter $75 per month to add to their bills since she now works.

Generally, working-class children who stay with their parents do so to be able to save up enough money to start a fresh journey in life. Although it's still cheap to contribute to the bills like paying rent, buying groceries, etc compared to when they live outside their parent's house. But, young people like the girl in the article find it outrageous. Going through the article I saw responses from parents who admit they do the same thing. Do you think it's fine as a parent to demand bills such as rent from your working-class child because s/he stays in your house?

https://www.boredpanda.com/daughter-angry-mom-increases-contribution-to-bills/

N/B: this thread is not exactly what happened in the article above.

It depends on the salary of the child and the job condition of the parent. If the parent is managing a job that the pay is not that good and they are finding it difficult to meet up with their rent, they can ask their child for assistance because she is working a MD earning good pay.

On the one hand, if the child is not receiving a good pay and the parents are, it will not be good for the parents to ask for rent contribution from their child. However, if both the parents and the child are receiving good pay, it is not good for them to ask their child for house rent contribution.

[mumang siat]

Maybe the bill that is intended to be used for family needs does not seem too fatal in the family and it can be said that this is a savings that they will later use carefully in the family, and maybe this is included in the management method of each family in managing their finances.

And it seems that this will also be an alternative for each family in helping the economic aspect or some needs in the family, this is not too heavy and honestly he has worked reasonably, he certainly has to fill a little family needs. apart from personal needs and savings.

[Iranus]

If we are adults, have good jobs and still live with our parents, we should even voluntarily share part of the expenses with our parents or pay the entire cost. That is an act of filial piety that any child should do, because without our parents, we would not be here today.

I do the same with my parents, even though I'm married I still live with them. Sadly my income is still only average and can only partially support my parents because I also have to take care of my children. But if my income is better in the future, I will take care of my parents. That is what I have dreamed of for a long time, but life is so difficult that I have not been able to fulfill that dream, until now.